Part 3 of a four-part series on emotional intelligence. Parts 1 and 2 covered self-awareness and self-management - what is happening inside you. This episode turns outward to social awareness: the ability to read a room, to notice what other people are feeling, and to respond to what they actually need rather than what you assume they need.

Ashleigh covers what social awareness is and is not, why recognizing someone's emotions is not the same as agreeing with them, and the signals of low social awareness - interrupting, dominating conversations, joking in sensitive moments, and defaulting to a victim mindset when you are the common denominator.

She then gives three ways to develop it:

1. Ask one question: "Do you want me to be your friend or do you need me to be your leader?" She walks through what each answer sounds like in business, tells the story of the team member who chose "leader" during a family crisis, and shows how the same question works with your kids.

2. Put yourself in someone else's shoes and assume positive intent instead of negative intent - the speeding driver, the kid who blows up after school, the customer who does not message you back.

3. Be fully present. Ninety-three percent of communication is non-verbal, and multitasking costs you all of it.

Content note: this episode includes a story, shared with permission, about a friend whose teenage daughter attempted to take her own life. It runs from roughly 13:58 to 17:10.

CHAPTERS

00:00 Welcome back and the coaching call giveaway

00:48 Start with Part 1 if you missed it

01:18 Can you read the room?

01:37 Why pattern recognition became my superpower

01:59 What's happening in me vs. what's happening in you

02:30 The friend who can't see me

03:17 Social awareness is about you seeing other people

03:40 The questions that test your social awareness

04:24 Empathy, listening, and perspective-taking

05:23 Recognizing emotions isn't the same as agreeing

06:02 Get curious instead of assuming the worst

06:29 Be what they need, not what you think they need

06:55 The two versions of me

07:52 The Mario hat from Target

08:34 "I'm putting my red hat on now"

09:19 Different people need different things

10:38 The habits that signal low social awareness

11:09 When you're the common denominator

11:54 How to develop social awareness

12:32 Tip 1: Friend or leader?

13:58 A story I've told many times, with permission

17:10 Don't assume you know what someone needs

18:22 Tip 2: Put yourself in someone else's shoes

18:55 Assume positive intent

20:38 Tip 3: Be fully present

21:14 The power of people watching

21:48 You always have a choice

Enter the giveaway for a free 30-45 minute one-on-one coaching call: leave a five-star review, screenshot it, and tag @theashleighmayfield on Instagram or Facebook.

Social management is the fourth and final pillar of emotional intelligence, and it is the one that decides whether your relationships survive conflict. Social awareness is reading the room. Social management is knowing what to do in the room.

In this episode Ashleigh Mayfield covers what poor social management looks like in practice: avoiding difficult conversations, exploding during conflict, passive aggression, holding grudges, people pleasing, and weak boundaries. She explains ice box anger, the habit of not reacting at all, and why small relationship problems become big relationship problems when nobody knows how to handle them early.

She then gives three practical tools. First, how to take feedback well: pause, do not get defensive, and ask whether the person bringing it has good intentions. Second, why the sandwich method of feedback, positive then negative then positive, is a terrible leadership practice that makes every compliment you give sound disingenuous, and what to say instead. Third, asking permission before you vent, so that respect is built into the relationship on both ends.

CHAPTERS

00:00 Welcome and thank you

00:56 Part four: what social management is

01:38 Seven questions that expose your social management

02:14 Reading the room vs. knowing what to do in it

02:59 Don't shoot holes in your own boat

03:19 Why we throw relationships away

04:14 Ice box anger: the people who never react

04:52 What poor social management looks like

05:46 Learn to take feedback well

07:06 Why the sandwich method is terrible

09:28 Ask permission before you vent

10:21 Vent up, not down

11:03 Closing

Topics: emotional intelligence, social management, relationship management, conflict resolution, giving feedback, the sandwich method, boundaries, passive aggression, people pleasing, leadership communication.

Leave a five star review, screenshot it, and tag @theashleighmayfield on Instagram or Facebook to enter the raffle for a one-on-one coaching call.

Part 2 of a four-part series on emotional intelligence. This episode covers self-management: the ability to control what you are feeling when you are feeling it.

Self-management is not about ignoring your feelings or pretending they do not exist. It is about making sure your emotions do not negatively run or ruin your life. Ashleigh describes it as creating a pocket of space between what you feel and how you respond.

Ashleigh tells the story of a 2018 company conference where her leader moved nine lanes down at a bowling alley event, leaving her at a lane with only her husband and one team member. She explains what she felt in that moment, why she chose not to leave, and how that single decision led to a twenty-minute conversation with the founder of her company. Thirteen months later her monthly income went from about $4,000 to $48,000 in one month.

She also covers what poor self-management costs you in leadership, why people value a predictable leader, and what growing up in an unpredictable household taught her about walking on eggshells.

The episode closes with three techniques for developing self-management:

1. Change your location. Get up, leave the room, take a walk, breathe different air before you react.

2. Box breathing. Inhale for four seconds, exhale for four seconds, tracing a box in your mind's eye to calm your nervous system.

3. Sleep on it. You do not need to respond immediately. Wait a day, a few days, or a week before you address the situation.

CHAPTERS

00:00 Welcome back — and thank you for the reviews

00:19 Leave a review, win a one-on-one coaching session

00:55 Where we are in the four-part emotional intelligence series

01:14 The one I was worst at

01:34 Self-management is not about ignoring your feelings

02:20 When one bad comment could ruin my entire day

02:50 "I'm a serial quitter"

03:58 Splitsville: the incentive I qualified for

05:13 My leader moved nine lanes down

06:01 "This is a moment that makes you feel inadequate, isn't it?"

07:23 Fixing my face and asking strangers to bowl

08:23 The leader who said "I'm gonna stay with you"

08:48 The founder of the company walks in

10:13 $4,000 a month to $48,000 in one month

10:59 Self-management, defined

12:28 The pocket of space between what you feel and what you do

13:22 Growing up in an unpredictable household

15:37 Tip 1: Change your location

16:14 Tip 2: Box breathing

18:02 Tip 3: Sleep on it

19:32 It's a muscle you build every day

Write a five-star review, screenshot it, and tag Ashleigh on Instagram or Facebook to be entered for a free one-on-one coaching session.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theashleighmayfield/

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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AshleighMayfield

The High Achieving Woman with Ashleigh Mayfield. Over 10 years coaching high-achieving women in personal leadership, business, and the messy middle between the career you have and the calling you cannot shake.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, and to understand and influence the emotions of other people. It breaks into four parts: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and social management. This episode is part one of four, and it covers self-awareness.

Ashleigh Mayfield defines self-awareness as the ability to see yourself accurately even when it isn't flattering, and makes the case that most people's biggest obstacle is not their circumstances, their past, or their boss — it's themselves. She tells the story of shutting down her husband Jason's ideas for years without listening, the day he told her she was a dream killer, and what she had to admit afterward: that she was projecting her own insecurities and calling it encouragement.

She then covers three practical ways to build self-awareness: asking "why did that bother me?" instead of reacting, asking other people for honest feedback and not defending yourself when you get it, and journaling to find the pattern underneath a repeated emotional reaction.

Also in this episode: why a low-EQ woman believes things happen to her while a high-EQ woman knows she controls her response, why people trust predictable leaders, what happened when Ashleigh sent 13 leaders a non-anonymous form asking them to critique her leadership, and why "I'm just being honest" is often just rude.

CHAPTERS

0:00 Hey, hey, everybody

0:30 Win a free one-on-one coaching call

1:16 Why a four-part series on emotional intelligence

2:05 The hard truth: I was my own biggest problem

3:40 What emotional intelligence actually means

4:10 The four parts of emotional intelligence

4:46 Low EQ vs. high EQ: who's really in control

5:18 Four questions to gauge where you are

6:00 What a lack of emotional intelligence costs you

7:12 Why people trust a predictable leader

7:54 So what is self-awareness?

8:46 My husband Jason and the dreams I shut down

9:29 "You're a dream killer"

10:39 Your biggest problem is also your biggest solution

11:38 Do other people's opinions pay your bills?

13:04 You cannot lead what you cannot see

15:09 Extreme ownership changed everything

15:48 Habit 1: "Why did that bother me?"

16:44 Habit 2: Ask for honest feedback

17:28 What 13 leaders told me about my leadership

18:40 Habit 3: Journal to find the pattern

20:02 Self-awareness is a muscle

Mentioned in this episode: Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink.

Leave a five-star review, screenshot it, and tag @theashleighmayfield to be entered to win a 30-45 minute one-on-one coaching call. Drawing at the end of the month.

How do you build confidence while you're still not confident? Listener Jessica asked, and Ashleigh Mayfield answers in this #AskAshleigh episode.

Confidence isn't gifted — it's earned, one kept promise at a time. Ashleigh walks through seven practical shifts: borrow belief until you build your own, keep the promises you make to yourself, start before you're ready, act like your future self, collect evidence instead of emotions, get comfortable being uncomfortable, and stop comparing your beginning to someone else's middle. You don't become confident and then take action — you take action until confidence catches up.

Chapters:

0:00 — Intro: the #AskAshleigh question

0:57 — No one feels confident before they start

2:20 — Borrow belief until you build your own

4:16 — Keep the promises you make to yourself

6:13 — Start before you're ready

6:52 — Act like your future self

9:13 — Collect evidence, not emotions

12:44 — Get comfortable being uncomfortable

15:03 — Stop comparing your beginning to their middle

17:40 — Confidence is earned, not gifted

Have a question for a future #AskAshleigh? DM Ashleigh on Instagram or Facebook.

When you're a high achiever and you're still not where you want to be, the answer isn't to beat yourself up — it's to get honest and take action. In this episode, Ashleigh Mayfield breaks down what to do when you've fallen short of your goals.

She covers why frustration is normal but staying stuck isn't, the three levels of getting honest about your activity (showing up, tracking/measuring, and staying consistent), why your action creates motivation instead of the other way around, how discipline beats feelings, why comparison and "looking left and right" drains the energy you need, and how to become the person your results require.

Practical, direct personal development for women who want to stop repeating what isn't working and get back on track.

Chapters:

0:00 Why you're not where you want to be (and why it's normal)

0:21 Don't self-deprecate — do personal development first

1:45 Frustration is normal, but staying stuck isn't

2:51 The definition of insanity: stop repeating what fails

3:38 Tip 1: Take accountability — get honest about your activity

5:49 Give whole, not half

7:27 Tip 2: Stop waiting until you feel motivated

9:02 It's about discipline, not motivation

11:41 Stop comparing: quit looking left and right

13:42 Celebrate progress, not perfection

15:14 Tip 3: Become the person your result requires

17:48 The goal isn't overnight success

Ashleigh Mayfield opens up about the cost of being addicted to the grind — and the season when her ambition quietly pushed her husband and daughters to the back burner. This is an honest conversation about why "work-life balance" is the wrong target, and what to aim for instead.

You'll hear the moment that woke her up (her husband holding a full conversation while she never looked up from her phone), why impacting millions of women means nothing if she isn't present for the two daughters at home, and the three habits that turned it around: scheduling your family as a non-negotiable, being present where your feet are, and bringing your family on the journey with you.

If you're a driven woman who loves the chase but doesn't want to become a stranger to the people you're working for, this episode gives you both the honesty and the practical steps.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction

00:30 Addicted to the hustle and grind

01:37 Why work-life balance is an illusion

02:39 How compromising family starts small

03:54 The phone problem: never looking up

05:05 When work takes priority over family

08:25 What's the point of the kingdom without your king?

10:35 Rebuilding trust with her daughters

11:56 Why kids need you most in middle school

13:29 Habit 1: Schedule your family

16:40 Habit 2: Be present where your feet are

18:30 Presence beats presents

20:43 Habit 3: Bring your family on the journey

24:00 Letting your kids see you work

26:29 One day your calendar will be empty

"Elijah knew the brook was just a resource and that God was his source."

In 1 Kings 17, Elijah walks in on the most evil king Israel has known, announces a drought, and is immediately sent into hiding at the Kerith Ravine. Ravens bring him bread and meat morning and evening. He drinks from the brook. And then the text says something that goes by so fast you'll miss it — sometime later, the brook dried up. Then the word of the Lord came to him. Not before. After.

Ashleigh Mayfield teaches this passage in three movements. God is faithful to provide — the ravens and the brook were in place before Elijah ever felt the need, the same way the ram was already caught in the thicket before Abraham climbed the mountain. God is faithful to develop you — Kerith in Hebrew means to cut off, and God hid Elijah at the exact moment he looked most ready to be used, because what happened at the brook was the catalyst for every miracle that came after it. And God is faithful to direct you — but sometimes the direction only comes after the provision is completely gone.

She tells it through her own story. In 2014 she and her husband were asked to leave a church over a pastor's affair that wasn't theirs, with two kids under five and no income. She drove 45 minutes to interview for a nine-dollar-an-hour job she didn't want to take, and left with a forty-thousand-dollar salary she hadn't applied for. Nine and a half years later, running a business that had made her the fifteenth-highest income earner in her company, she watched her commissions fall month after month while every door she knocked on stayed shut and God stayed silent. Three weeks of crying. Not released. Staying anyway.

If you're in a season where the thing that sustained you is visibly running out and heaven hasn't spoken yet, this one is for you. At some point our faith has to be greater than our feelings — and we have to stop evaluating God's faithfulness by our circumstances and start evaluating our circumstances by God's faithfulness.

Scripture — 1 Kings 17.1-7, 1 Samuel 17.37, Genesis 22.13, James 5.17-18, Ephesians 6.12-17, 1 Kings 18.20-40

00:00 Welcome — Turn to 1 Kings 17

00:50 David, Goliath, and the List in My Notes App

03:07 The Big Idea — God Is Faithful in Every Season

04:04 Scripture Reading and Prayer — 1 Kings 17.1-7

05:20 King Ahab, Jezebel, and the God of the Rain

06:41 Point 1 — God Is Faithful to Provide

07:28 2014 — When the Rug Got Pulled Out

09:35 The Nine-Dollar Interview That Wasn't

12:28 Abraham and the Ram — Genesis 22

13:12 Fear, the What-Ifs, and Doing God's Job for Him

14:10 Point 2 — God Is Faithful to Develop You

14:47 Three and a Half Years of Drought — James 5

15:55 Why God Hid Him Instead of Using Him

17:24 The Secret Place — Worship, the Word, and Prayer

19:24 Can You Pray for Seven Minutes?

20:26 Deep Roots, the Oak Tree, and What Kerith Means

21:16 The Armor of God — Ephesians 6

22:28 The Miracles That Came After the Brook

23:39 Your Pastor Isn't Your Main Source of Development

24:41 Point 3 — God Is Faithful to Direct You

25:37 When My Own Brook Started Drying Up

27:36 April and May — Watching the Numbers Fall

29:44 Three Weeks of Crying and Waiting

30:43 The Lord Released Me — Resigning

31:25 Are You Sitting Down? — The Call

32:36 Where the Power of God Actually Was

33:31 The Last Scoops — He Never Complained

34:44 Faith Greater Than Feelings

35:36 Provide, Develop, Direct — The Three Points

35:58 Closing Prayer

Four years ago I was forced to quit this podcast. Not because I ran out of things to say — because the company I was earning multiple five figures a month with gave me an ultimatum: my career, or my calling.

This is the full story. I launched the High Achievers Bootcamp in 2021, had 400 people show up to a free workshop, capped the program at 10 women, and watched a client close $15,000 in contracts within 24 hours of a one-on-one session. It was working. Then corporate came after me — private DMs, text messages, group chats with my husband in them, and meetings where my own content was subject to their approval.

I chose the income. I stayed. It took four more years to walk away.

I break down the three kinds of careers — the one that supports your calling, the one that funds it, and the one that fights it — and how to tell which one you're in. We talk about the difference between being frustrated at work and being genuinely trapped, why comfort and security carry a price tag most of us never calculate, and how to build your personal leadership before you make the leap.

If there's something you've been told to keep quiet about — a business, a book, a brand, a promotion, a dream — this episode is for you. You do not need permission to live a big life.

I don't regret quitting. I regret allowing someone else to decide how I use my voice.

CHAPTERS

00:00 Back After Four Years

00:22 Why I Was Forced to Quit

00:49 The Three Kinds of Careers

01:48 Taking You Back to 2021

03:12 How This Podcast Started

04:26 Launching the High Achievers Bootcamp

05:57 Success, Then the Backlash

07:08 The Client Who Closed $15K

08:08 When the Company Came After Me

09:06 The Ultimatum

11:03 "We Built Your Platform"

11:53 Four Years to Walk Away

12:38 What Staying Is Costing You

15:31 Frustrated vs Actually Trapped

18:35 You Do Not Need Permission

20:26 Taking My Voice Back

Watch the full episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AshleighMayfield

Follow along:

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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theashleighmayfield

Stop chasing ceilings. In this raw, no-fluff episode, Ashleigh Mayfield delivers the honest conversation she wishes someone had given her nine and a half years ago. After building to the top of her previous company and walking away to start from zero, she's learned exactly what separates those who hit their goals from those who keep saying "next month."

She breaks down the three things holding you back: a low standard for how you operate, the voice in your head running the show, and selective urgency that only kicks in when pressure hits. You'll learn why raising your foundation matters more than shattering ceilings, how to show up as the finish line version of yourself before you've crossed it, and a simple strategy for eating the elephant one bite at a time.

If you've been telling yourself you're "all in" but your habits tell a different story — brace for impact.

Are you tired of setting the same goals year after year with nothing to show for it? If December 2025 looks exactly like December 2024, it's time for a new approach.

In this episode, Ashleigh Mayfield breaks down the 7 essential life categories you need to address if you want 2026 to be your breakthrough year. Drawing from nearly a decade of coaching women and her own journey to paying off $63,801.99 in just six months, Ashleigh delivers a no-fluff framework for creating lasting change.

What you'll learn:

• Why most people fail at their goals (and it's not what you think)
• The 7 pillars every vision board needs to include
• How to identify what fills your cup vs. what drains you
• The mindset shift that separates those who quit from those who succeed
• Why "every time I choose to stop, I disqualify myself" changed everything
• Practical strategies for accountability, financial freedom, and building real community

Whether you're building a business, strengthening your marriage, getting your health back on track, or deepening your faith—this episode gives you the roadmap to stop planning to fail and start executing with intention.

Key Topics: Goal setting, vision boards, New Year planning, personal development, financial freedom, debt payoff, mental discipline, Christian living, work-life balance, accountability, building community

Have you ever hit a season where everything just feels… stuck? You’re showing up. You’re doing “all the things.” But inside, it feels like nothing is moving?
 In this episode, Ashleigh Mayfield opens up about what it really looks like to lead yourself through a stuck season — with honesty, vision, and grace.

She shares six practical (and spiritual) things that strong leaders do when life feels heavy, including:
 1️⃣ Getting honest without getting harsh
 2️⃣ Revisiting the vision when the environment changes
 3️⃣ Simplifying your focus so you can breathe again
 4️⃣ Seeking counsel, not a crowd
 5️⃣ Taking imperfect action even when you’re scared
 6️⃣ Guarding your atmosphere so your character stays intact

This one will remind you that you’re not broken — you’re just being rebuilt. Get ready to laugh, get convicted, and feel the fire again. Because God’s not done with you yet, friend.

💡 If this episode helps you, share it with another high-achieving woman who’s ready to get unstuck.

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📝 Episode Notes / Show Notes

Six Things Strong Leaders Do When They Feel Stuck in Life
with Ashleigh Mayfield

Timestamps:
00:00 – Intro: Real talk about feeling stuck
02:45 – #1: Get honest without getting harsh
07:30 – #2: Revisit your vision
13:50 – #3: Simplify your focus
20:15 – #4: Seek counsel, not a crowd
26:00 – #5: Take imperfect action
32:40 – #6: Guard your atmosphere
38:00 – Final encouragement: God can bring dead things back to life

Connect with Ashleigh:
Instagram: @theashleighmayfield
Facebook: Ashleigh Mayfield
Website: www.ashleighmayfield.com

What if the restart isn’t the end… but the beginning of your next miracle?

In this episode, Ashleigh gets real about what it feels like to start over when you thought your fire was gone. Six days ago, she made a life-changing decision — and the results have been nothing short of wild.

She shares how God has restored her fight, how to tell if you’re a dreamer or a decision maker, and why playing it safe is actually holding you back.

This is the Monday motivation you didn’t know you needed — full of raw honesty, Holy Spirit boldness, and practical encouragement for anyone who’s standing at a fork in the road.

If you’ve ever wondered, “Do I still have what it takes?”… this episode is your answer.

🔥 You can start over.
🔥 You can rebuild.
🔥 And you can do it with joy.

Helpful Resources:
Bible Reading Plan: https://www.tearupyourbible.com/
Jason's Book: https://jasonmayfield.com/heretohear
The Bible I Use: https://amzn.to/3S1eXDe
The Bible Jason Uses: https://amzn.to/48FGoYV

// LINKS

Facebook:   / theashleighmayfield 

Instagram:   / theashleighmayfield 

Website: http://ashleighmayfield.com

Unlocking Success Through Emotional Intelligence

In this video, host Ashleigh Mayfield discusses how emotional intelligence has significantly factored into her personal and professional development. She emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, management of emotions, social skills, and communication in achieving success. By being aware of emotional triggers and responses, emotional intelligence allows individuals to understand and control their reactions. Ashleigh also provides practical tips on improving emotional intelligence, such as introspection, clear and assertive communication of one's needs, respecting boundaries, and recognizing the need for personal space. She believes that everyone's best potential can be unlocked from the inside and encourages her viewers to continue their journey in emotional intelligence.

00:00 Introduction and Importance of Emotional Intelligence
00:45 Interacting with the Audience
01:05 Emotional Intelligence in Online Business
01:36 The Journey of Emotional Intelligence
01:51 Understanding Emotional Intelligence in Relationships
02:06 Impact of Emotional Intelligence on Goals and Dreams
02:21 Sharing Insights from Previous Training
02:50 Importance of Emotional Intelligence in Pursuing Goals
04:39 The Role of Emotional Intelligence in Online Business Success
05:50 The Importance of Honesty in Emotional Intelligence
06:55 The Role of Emotional Intelligence in Self-Improvement
08:05 The Importance of Emotional Intelligence in Leadership
09:16 The Role of Emotional Intelligence in Handling Frustration
11:38 The Importance of Transition Periods in Emotional Intelligence
17:38 The Role of Emotional Intelligence in Sales and Marketing
19:17 The Importance of Emotional Intelligence in Sales
20:05 The Impact of Your Emotional State on Your Network
21:03 Tips to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence
21:09 Taking Ownership of Your Emotions
21:44 The Power of Self-Awareness and Emotional Control
28:39 The Role of Communication in Emotional Intelligence
33:03 The Importance of Setting Boundaries
34:25 Avoiding the Victim Mindset
36:09 Conclusion: The Impact of Emotional Intelligence on Personal Growth

3 Simple Ways to Dominate Your Social Media Business

In this deep-dive session, Ashleigh Mayfield provides practical tips on building a successful online business using social media. She shares three key points to dominate your social media business - establishing your presence by exposing your mission, sharing your personal experience, and evaluating your effectiveness. Ashleigh emphasizes the importance of being authentic, providing value, showcasing your victories as well as setbacks and maintaining a well-rounded brand presence. Watch this video to learn how to effectively use social media to further your online business, especially beneficial for beginners in the field.

00:01 Introduction and Importance of Social Media Domination

00:22 The Common Mistakes in Online Business

00:40 The Importance of Building a Brand

00:58 The Power of Sharing and Collaboration

01:58 Tips for Beginners in Social Media Business

02:12 Establishing Your Presence and Exposing Your Mission

03:04 The Importance of Authenticity and Self-Exposure

03:53 The Reality of Setbacks and the Importance of Growth

05:11 The Importance of a Public Profile and Self-Image

10:38 Sharing Your Personal Experience

16:31 The Importance of Evaluating Your Effectiveness

20:57 Conclusion: The Power of Online Business

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