SHOW / EPISODE

Emotional Intelligence: Self-Management (Part 2 of 4)

19m | Aug 31, 2026

Part 2 of a four-part series on emotional intelligence. This episode covers self-management: the ability to control what you are feeling when you are feeling it.


Self-management is not about ignoring your feelings or pretending they do not exist. It is about making sure your emotions do not negatively run or ruin your life. Ashleigh describes it as creating a pocket of space between what you feel and how you respond.


Ashleigh tells the story of a 2018 company conference where her leader moved nine lanes down at a bowling alley event, leaving her at a lane with only her husband and one team member. She explains what she felt in that moment, why she chose not to leave, and how that single decision led to a twenty-minute conversation with the founder of her company. Thirteen months later her monthly income went from about $4,000 to $48,000 in one month.


She also covers what poor self-management costs you in leadership, why people value a predictable leader, and what growing up in an unpredictable household taught her about walking on eggshells.


The episode closes with three techniques for developing self-management:


1. Change your location. Get up, leave the room, take a walk, breathe different air before you react.

2. Box breathing. Inhale for four seconds, exhale for four seconds, tracing a box in your mind's eye to calm your nervous system.

3. Sleep on it. You do not need to respond immediately. Wait a day, a few days, or a week before you address the situation.


CHAPTERS


00:00 Welcome back — and thank you for the reviews

00:19 Leave a review, win a one-on-one coaching session

00:55 Where we are in the four-part emotional intelligence series

01:14 The one I was worst at

01:34 Self-management is not about ignoring your feelings

02:20 When one bad comment could ruin my entire day

02:50 "I'm a serial quitter"

03:58 Splitsville: the incentive I qualified for

05:13 My leader moved nine lanes down

06:01 "This is a moment that makes you feel inadequate, isn't it?"

07:23 Fixing my face and asking strangers to bowl

08:23 The leader who said "I'm gonna stay with you"

08:48 The founder of the company walks in

10:13 $4,000 a month to $48,000 in one month

10:59 Self-management, defined

12:28 The pocket of space between what you feel and what you do

13:22 Growing up in an unpredictable household

15:37 Tip 1: Change your location

16:14 Tip 2: Box breathing

18:02 Tip 3: Sleep on it

19:32 It's a muscle you build every day


Write a five-star review, screenshot it, and tag Ashleigh on Instagram or Facebook to be entered for a free one-on-one coaching session.


Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theashleighmayfield/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theashleighmayfield

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AshleighMayfield


The High Achieving Woman with Ashleigh Mayfield. Over 10 years coaching high-achieving women in personal leadership, business, and the messy middle between the career you have and the calling you cannot shake.

Paused
Audio Player Image
The High Achieving Woman with Ashleigh Mayfield
Loading...