“I feel like a failure. I feel like no one cares about me. I feel like…” Perhaps you have said these words before or have had these thoughts yourself. However, “I feel like” is not a feeling; it is a perception. You might perceive of yourself as a failure or that no one cares about you, but that is not the actual feeling. Feeling is actually completely separate from interpretation. There is no story or narrative about it, just a sensation. In this podcast, Roy delves into the difference between feeling and perceiving and how making this distinction can make all the difference in a person's state of mind. 

Self-censorship is on the rise in our time. As the cultural current of thought policing and cancel culture has grown in force, people have begun to do this to themselves; there no longer needs to be an external force present to keep them in check. In this podcast, Roy shares factors that have contributed to him censoring himself as well as the cost of self-censorship. There is a cost to speaking up and there is a cost to silencing yourself. In the words of Jordan Peterson, “You’re going to pay a price for every bloody thing you do and everything you don’t do. You don’t get to choose to not pay a price. You get to choose which poison you’re going to take. That’s it.”

“What’s the point? Is it all meaningless?” Maybe. Maybe not. These are questions Roy has been wrestling with lately after noticing feelings of apathy and absence of joy and fulfillment. While it is our natural tendency as humans to avoid pain and seek pleasure, the experience of existential dread may be a necessary part of the process of spiritual growth and evolution. In this episode, Roy touches on what factors have lead to him being in this state of apathy, his attempts to wrestle with it in a mindful manner, and takeaways he has gotten from reading The Alchemist by Paul Coelho. If 2020 and 2021 have left you reeling, now is the most opportune time to face these deep existential questions; you will not fair well if you continue to avoid them. 

Growth is an ever continuing process, like an endless unfolding. Just when you think you've reached the deepest layer of an onion, another layer suddenly appears. In this episode, Roy reflects on how two individuals recently inspired him into deeper self-reflection and realizing how breaking past one ceiling can create the illusion of completion and having "arrived."

Cheesy as it may sound, self-love is one of the most important things we can offer ourselves. We often attempt to seek this love externally, only to be crushed when we do not receive it. In truth, the person we believe we have been looking for all our life, is our Self. In this episode, Roy reflects on past patterns of co-dependence and desperate attempts to find his worth through romantic pursuits. On the other side of the pain and heartbreak, was the treasure of self-love.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” And yet, most of us can likely recall moments we’ve compared ourselves against others. While we may compare in order to feel better about ourselves, we also compare ourselves in ways that make us feel small. In this week’s episode, Roy reflects on the downfalls of comparison and how jealousy, when looked at through a lens of personal curiosity, can be a helpful signal for identifying what a person has been ignoring and ought to pay attention to. 

Do life events happen against you or for you? It really depends on your perspective. Two people given the same resources and conditions can end up in drastically different positions based on their mindset. In this week's episode, Roy explores the wisdom of the story of The Chinese Farmer as told by Alan Watts. As the remainder of the year 2020 is sure to have more curveballs, the wisdom of the Chinese farmer can provide an anchor point to navigate events with openness and non-resistance.

In this week’s episode, Roy shares his thoughts on self-efficacy, using personal examples and lessons from 2020. Self-efficacy is one’s sense of, “I can do it.” In modern civilization, self-efficacy is drastically plummeting. While technology has aided in humanity’s growth, it has also resulted in humans outsourcing their power and agency; manual labor has become devalued. The more reliant humans become on someone else or something else taking care of something for them, the further humans fall into a state of learned helplessness that breeds misery and entitlement. A humorous story of toilet paper, bidets, and poopy cloths was a simple yet profound way Roy experienced his own self-efficacy in 2020. What do bidets, toilet paper, and poopy cloths have to do with self-efficacy? Hop into this week’s episode of Friday Night Fireside Chats to find out! 

Initiation/rites of passage rituals are an ancient practice that has been part of human history for as long as we can remember. These practices marked a transition - from the old into the new, from death into life. Like a snake that sheds its skin, what once was is released in order to give way to a new birth. However, in modern Western societies, these practices have almost entirely vanished, substituted by other activities that are a feeble expression of what once was. The consequences of this cannot be overstated. Rather than maturing and living a life of personal responsibility, people are now stuck in infantile states of fear and demanding others take care of them. Rather than viewing death as a necessary transition in life (figuratively and literally), it is viewed as something that must be avoided at all costs. Roy expounds more on these topics in this podcast and emphasizes the value in returning to these ancient practices. 

There is much power in solitude. However, being quiet and alone is something that humans in modern society actively avoid. Distractions function as a way to avoid oneself (e.g. seeking to constantly be entertained). But to those who are willing to seek and endure being alone, they will discover the wisdom solitude has to offer as they develop a deeper connection to their internal compass and Higher Self. In this episode, Roy shares his struggles with distraction and avoidance, and then the wisdom he receives when he surrenders to solitude.

The qualities of authenticity and vulnerability are becoming more valued in modern Western society. Where people once hid, they are now trying to be more honest and open. At the same time, the increasing popularity of being authentic and vulnerable may actually be cheapening its value. In this episode, Roy reflects on the positives of this movement while simultaneously examining how it has also become a fad, particularly on social media, as a means of garnering attention.

In this episode, Roy shares his thoughts on maturity and responsibility. Being your own boss has a way of revealing one’s rough edges. It means that you are 100% responsible for everything - what you choose to do and choose not to do. While it can be nice to always be taken care of, there is an important lesson in learning how to grow up and is a threshold that one must cross if one desires to fully live out their potential. 

In this episode, Roy shares about The Cookie Jar, a concept developed by former navy seal David Goggins. When times get rough, the cookie jar offers us a reminder of "just how badass we are." Roy shares two personal stories in his cookie jar and invites the listener to recall moments in their own life where they have directly faced and conquered their fear.

These qualities are becoming ever more overlooked in the fast pace of modern society. Society and technological advances have conditioned us to expect and demand immediate results. However, this is seldom the reality. Truth growth and results are more often found through the mundane actions and principles of discipline, consistency, and patience. One who has mastered these qualities is able to feel the subtle activity of a buried seed and knows that the roots are growing even though nothing appears to be happening on the surface of the soil.