Great News!
2m | Aug 29, 2025Twenty new hires (nothing else worth mentioning)
stats dumpster fire (but it's not worth questioning)
It's all great news, we're a reorg away
from profitability
Office is quiet (for more focused energy)
Desks may be empty (but that's just efficiency)
Pivoting excellence, disrupting space
A Ted talk smile on my face
Great news, great news, everything's fantastic
Our growth is organic (and our cuts are so drastic)
Great news, great news, we're ahead of the curve
ignore the layoffs, it's the success we deserve
No raises this quarter, but think of the pride you'll feel
No bonuses to distract from our purpose so real
retirement matching? That's old-fashioned thinking, friend
We're investing in your growth (that's where the benefits end)
Reorg departments (bringing synergistic flow)
Everyone's quitting (that's a signal of greatness)
Investors are running, surely you know
that means profit -buhdum-ching-
Great news, great news, everything's fantastic
Our growth is organic (though our cuts are quite drastic)
Great news, great news, we're ahead of the curve
ignore the layoffs, it's the success we deserve
