Episode 133: You’re not the boss of me: On fear, with Amy Koford, the “Happy Hypnotist”

There are two kinds of fear. The right kind—the one that makes you jump back from a speeding car, the one that keeps us alive. That fear has a job and does it well.

Then there’s the wrong kind—the inherited kind. The kind that isn’t about danger, but about staying small. I grew up watching the women in my family carry that kind of fear. Fear of speaking up. Fear of being “too much.” Fear of wanting more than they were told they could have. And without meaning to, I picked up that script. It’s shaped how I’ve moved through the world and even how long I kept writing from taking the center stage it was always meant to take.

Writers know that version of fear well. It’s the voice that says your pages aren’t good enough. That you’ll embarrass yourself. That it’s safer not to try.

That’s why today’s guest, Amy Koford—The Happy Hypnotist— feels like such a breath of fresh air. She’s made it her mission to help people unhook from the wrong kind of fear. Through hypnosis, she’s guiding people out of depression, anxiety, addictions, and yes, the creative paralysis that fear creates. Amy knows both the science of how fear lives in our brains and the lived reality of what it does to our lives.

This conversation is about rewriting that script—so you can let fear do its real job of protecting you, and stop letting it keep you from the page.

I love this because, as you know, I love ALL the woo. And honestly hypnosis is one of the (very) few things I haven’t tried. I think that might be about to change, y’all.

We cover:

• Myth-busting hypnosis: Hollywood sells mind control; real hypnosis is a natural theta brainwave state where you’re deeply relaxed and still in control.

• Why it works fast: Traditional talk therapy tries to solve subconscious problems with the conscious mind; hypnosis goes straight to where the patterns live. Amy’s typical range: 1–8 sessions (severe cases at the high end).

• Road hypnosis & daydreams: Everyday examples of light trance—and how guided work takes you deeper with intent.

• From HR to hypnotist: A “crossroads” season, a test session to kick sugar, then training —her niche found her: depression and anxiety.

• Fear as the real problem: Under addictions, procrastination, and perfectionism sits fear —often fear of feeling. Resolve the root and the habit loosens.

• Creatives + blocks: Writers are not broken; they’re protecting themselves. Hypnosis can unhook old criticism and performance fear so the draft can happen.

• Process peek: Shocking the nervous system into relaxation; “moving the conscious mind aside” to work with the unconscious; why Zoom sessions (with headphones) are effective.

• Book origin story: A long drive, a bossy inner voice—“Write about fear.” First draft flowed, revisions were the real workout. Practical tools in every chapter (including Amy’s Stress Eliminator).

• Self-love (next book): Most of us are brutal to ourselves. She’s building a toolbox to swap criticism for actual confidence.

Favorite thread:

“Necessary fear protects you. Unnecessary fear parks you.” Amy’s work is basically teaching your nervous system the difference—and letting the writer part of you breathe again.

Try this (Writer’s Prompt):

Name one “unnecessary fear” that keeps your pages stuck. Give it a voice on the page for 5 minutes—let it rant. Then write a 7-line rebuttal from the part of you that actually wants the book. Close your eyes for 60 seconds, slow your breathing, and start your next scene without rereading.

Find more about Amy and her work at https://www.amykoford.com/ .

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