Episode 66: Permission to Stop Performing: Finding Your True Self and Real Confidence

Host Brandon Thielk and co-host/producer Holly Deschenes explore “permission to stop performing” and how performative identities form around earning love, validation, safety, and belonging through achievement, image, or helping others. Responding to Holly’s question—sparked by Enneagram Type 3s who feel disconnected from their true self—Brandon describes finding the true self through stillness, self-awareness, and following genuine enjoyment, peace, and excitement rather than external approval. He contrasts ego-driven striving, imposter syndrome, and constant busyness with alignment, presence, and a non-resistant state where actions feel natural and flow. They discuss how family and societal expectations reinforce performance, how midlife questioning can prompt reconnection with younger parts of self via self-acceptance and forgiveness, and key takeaways for building an integrated, authentic life. Brandon invites listeners to book a free strategy session at brandonthielk.com and follow his content on social platforms.

00:00 Welcome and Theme

00:09 Why We Perform

02:00 Question of the Week

03:14 Finding True Self Clues

04:13 Performance Mindset Origins

24:00 Alignment and Flow State

26:54 Observer vs Ego

32:13 Inner Child and Midlife Shift

39:57 Quick Recap Takeaways

43:59 Work With Brandon

45:14 Closing Goodbye

🔗 LINKS:

Free Strategy Session: https://brandonthielk.com/

Newsletter Signup: https://brandonthielk.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brandonthielk/

TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@bthielk

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/permission-to-evolve/id1792609620

https://open.spotify.com/show/6HMWcqqroohupXCbf3CxOn

https://www.instagram.com/permissiontoevolvepodcast/