Episode 24: What If You Stopped Being Who Everyone Needed You to Be?
The exhausting art of shape-shifting, the freedom of real friendship, and the courage to be yourself.
I used to be a professional shape-shifter.
And no, I'm not talking about selling real estate. 😂
I'm talking about walking into a room and immediately figuring out who everyone needed me to be.
What version of me would make them comfortable? What personality would make them like me? What should I say? What should I keep to myself?
And I got really fucking good at it.
But it was exhausting.
This past weekend, I spent time with my college girlfriends. We've been friends for 27 years, and for 23 of those years, we've made it a priority to take an annual trip together.
These women have seen every version of me. The good, the messy, the complicated, the unfiltered.
We tell each other the truth. We share the secrets. We don't have to pretend our lives are perfect. And somehow, through all the changes life has brought us, we've continued to hold space for one another without judgment.
And it reminded me of something.
There's a difference between being accepted for who you are and being accepted for who you've learned to become.
In this episode of Courageously Awake, I'm sharing a personal story about my years in real estate, the exhausting habit of becoming who I thought everyone needed me to be, and what nearly three decades of friendship have taught me about authentic connection.
We're also exploring what might happen if, for just 24 hours, you stopped automatically editing yourself.
Not to be cruel.
Not to create conflict.
But to remember that your preferences, opinions, needs, and desires deserve to exist, too.
In this episode, we explore:
- Why some of us become experts at reading the room while losing touch with ourselves.
- The difference between being adaptable and abandoning your authenticity.
- What 27 years of friendship taught me about being fully seen and accepted.
- How people-pleasing and shape-shifting can quietly drain our energy.
- Why belonging shouldn't require us to become someone else.
- What it might look like to stop editing ourselves for just one day.
- How small acts of honesty can help us reconnect with our own voice.
A reminder from this episode:
Maybe you're not exhausted because there's something wrong with you.
Maybe you're exhausted because you've spent years trying to be who everyone else needed you to be.
And maybe the next chapter of your life isn't about becoming someone new.
Maybe it's about finally allowing yourself to be who you've been all along.
Your 24-Hour Experiment
For one day, notice the moments when you automatically soften your opinion, change your answer, or ignore your own preferences to keep someone else comfortable.
Choose one small, safe opportunity to respond more honestly.
Then ask yourself:
What did I notice?
What felt uncomfortable?
What did I learn about myself?
Voice Liberator Reflection
Who gets the real version of you?
Who gets the edited version?
And what parts of yourself have you been hiding because you decided they weren't acceptable?
You don't have to become someone else to belong.
You don't have to make yourself smaller to be loved.
And you don't have to keep abandoning your voice to make everyone else comfortable.
Trust what feels true.
Courageously Awake | Voice Liberator
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