Three New York kids, Tommy (Aeryk Egan), Bill (Bo Sharon) and Freddie (Darris Love), are getting bullied by the local street toughs, the Vipers. Tommy films their crimes and hands it over to the cops. The Vipers, led by Vinnie (A.J. Damato), do not like this at all. They are ordered by crime boss Big Moe (Meg Foster) to take the kids out. They do! Luckily, Mr. Sumatra (Julius Harris) uses his Haitian voodoo magic to turn them into avenging shrunken heads that have powers (of sorts) and fly all around the city fighting crime. Also, Tommy reconnects with his love, Sally (Rebecca Herbst). Can this romance work out? RTS discovers their own voodoo priest powers and invests in a full living room cauldron. Mike got shrunk! La-Mar puts on a suit and handles things the Haitian way. Collin does things with a switchblade that will make your head spin. In the end, New York will be safe and super weird. 

Jason Melon (Keith Gordon) is having a difficult time adjusting to life at college. He couldn’t make the diving team. He has only one friend, Derek (Robert Downey Jr.). He pines after Valerie (Terry Farrell), and she is dating Cobra Kai martial arts expert and cool guy Chas (William Zabka). Jason is secretly planning to drop out. Good thing dad, Thornton Melon (Rodney Dangerfield), has just divorced his cruel, cheating wife, Vanessa (Adrienne Barbeau), and is ready to build a better relationship with Jason and to go BACK TO SCHOOL! He’s about to become hot for teacher, Diane (Sally Kellerman), and learn about widgets. Academia isn’t ready! RTS chills at the bar with Lou (Burt Young). He’ll crush heads like a metal napkin dispenser. Jeremy gets some tutoring to “straighten out [his] Longfellow.” La-Mar has only one question for all of you. It is in 27 parts. Get ready for an education you won’t forget – and get ready for a “Triple Lindy.” A cameo by Kurt Vonnegut Jr.! This is how you get respect! 

It’s 1935, and we are treated to an adventure that starts in Shanghai and takes us to India. It’s a prequel for Dr. Jones. For some, this is considered a darker and polarizing film in the franchise. Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford), Willie Scott (Kate Capshaw) and Short Round (Ke Huy Quan) survive a plane crash in India and are told by local villagers that this has been fated so they will help retrieve the villager’s sacred Sankara stone and find their kidnapped children. The group travels to Pankot Palace where they quickly learn that there is a resurgence of the Thuggee cult being led by Mola Ram (Amrish Puri) – human sacrifices and all. Strap in for minecart rides, tunnels of bugs, blood potions and more! RTS covers their hearts. Mike might have checked out after the soup was served. Jeremy is all about the “fortune and glory, kid” He’s trying to get those diamonds. La-Mar disapproves of “snake surprise.” He’s not thrilled with dessert either. Collin grabs a torch and burns everyone back to reality. Be careful! Don’t let the crocs get you! “Hang on lady, we going for a ride!” 

In a sort of future (sometimes), crime is out of control in this nondescript city. “Mad Dog” Burne (Richard Grieco) effortlessly escapes from his sentenced execution and from prison to team back up with his gang. They hang by a warehouse and a bridge and throw sick parties! Crime is about to be even more out of control! Undercover officer Alyssa Lloyd (Nicole Eggert) is quickly identified at this hoodlum shindig, and she’s left close to death. Icy heart Professor Jack Crowley (Bruce Abbott) may or may not let her finally die, but it’s all okay. He brings her back (in a way)! She didn’t like dying, but now she’s “The Demolitionist” and crime will die! That’s a thing, right? RTS are issued super cool heat signature weapons and stealthy motorcycles. Zooooom! Jeremy goes the opposite direction and fights the future with the most outdated technology that he can find. Collin doesn’t appreciate the nonalcoholic wine but does fancy pink smoke powder from the slain. Get ready for goo injections and vengeance! 

A crazy special forces officer, Colonel Hogan (David Campbell), has been hired to train a bunch of inept people to become mercenaries. For what purpose? You will never know. Their training process is to abduct people from the streets, set them loose in the woods (75 miles southeast of L.A.) and hunt them for training purposes. One of the people they kidnap is Mike Danton (Ted Prior). He was about to sex up his wife, Jaimy (Suzanne Tara), but when he quickly steps out to take out the trash, he’s nabbed. Jaimy calls her cop daddy (Cameron Mitchell) for assistance, and he investigates Hogan’s compound. As Mike is hunted in the woods, he turns the tables and wrecks shop. He also, for some reason, refuses to pick up any weapons, ammunition, rations, etc… That’s hardcore! RTS teams up with Cooper (Wiliam Zipp) to unleash maximum damage. Our Mike saw the worm eating scene and politely exited himself. Jeremy decides this camp is not for him and heads to a nice Hyatt hotel. Room service is welcome. La-Mar, through a series of explosions, shows you his calling card. BOOM! If you’re getting beat with your own arm, you just met the deadly prey. 

She dead! Wait! Mom of the year (Concetta Tomei) leaves for Australia for a couple of months. She hires some rando strict babysitter to take charge of her five kids during that time. A day later, she dead! The oldest, Sue Ellen, also known as Swell, (Christina Applegate) thought she was going to have a relaxed summer full of lazy days. Now, unless she wants to tell mom, she is forced to get a job to feed the family. Being broke is no joke! Swell makes up her credentials on her resume and gets hired as an executive assistant to Rose (Joanna Cassidy) at an apparel company. Her oldest brother Kenny (Keith Coogan) gets it together to pitch in (and to get a date with a sexy nurse). Even Clown Dog delivery boy Bryan (Josh Charles) is able to assist the family. Everyone is trying to figure Swell out. If she can stay aloof enough and keep up her work, summer might be okay after all. RTS cleans up their acts and houses. Where is Mike? Does he even know that the “dishes are done, man”? Jeremy experiences a 48-hour orgasm without going to Santa Barbara. La-Mar tells everyone to go to bed. They do! Collin hands out cucumbers for everyone. You’ll thank him later. If you need anything along the way, dip into the petty cash. You’ll need to before you go “marketing.” 

You’re going to happily baby step your way right into this film. Dr. Leo Marvin (Richard Dreyfuss) is a somewhat prickly pear of a fella. He has just published a book and is about to take his family, Fay (Julie Hagerty), Siggy (Charlie Korsmo) and Anna (Kathryn Erbe), on a month-long summer vacation to their summer home in New Hampshire. Dr. Marvin takes on Bob Wiley (Bill Murray) as a new patient before his trip with the fam, and Bob takes his obsessive attachment and neurotic tendencies to a new level by tracking Dr. Marvin down. Good thing for Bob is that, outside of Dr. Marvin, everyone in the family loves him! Meanwhile, Leo is losing it! RTS enjoys comfort food on these hot summer nights. It’s all so scrumptious. “Is this hand-shucked?” Jeremy gets strapped to a boat and goes sailing. He’s a sailor. He sails now. La-Mar finds out the hard way that there are two types of people, “those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don’t.” Collin learns that bouts of Tourette’s can be fun with friends in the night. He hasn’t been the same since. If you need anything, we have some Death Therapy to help you. 

“Hardbodies. You know, the little foxes down on the beach.” The quote says it all. Three middle-aged jamokes, Hunter (Gary Wood), Rounder (Michael Rapport) and Ashby (Sorrells Pickard), rent a sweet beach pad for the summer. They have a great place and what seems like unlimited funds, and they want to meet some hardbodies. These questionable gents lack the skills to meet ladies, so they hire Scotty (Grant Cramer), a young buck that they drain and magically harness his powers into magical amulets. That may or may not seem right. Regardless, Scotty’s girlfriend, Kristi (Teal Roberts), seems sometimes put off by some of these things. Also, Hunter tries to ruin it all by being a putz. RTS learns about Southern Comfort and computer madness. It’s how you gain entrance to “a hidden valley of hardbodies.” Jeremy embraces these frequent beach house parties. Endless summer! Collin wants you to know that “you don’t know what it’s like when people call you names like airhead, ding-a-ling, yo-yo, bimbo. There’s no way you can know that.” You know it now! Hardbodies! 

Donna (Dona Speir) is an undercover DEA agent working some kind of flight/delivery service with her friend Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton). They dress like go-go dancers who might hunt big game in the outback. Also, they hate wearing their tops! It’s hot out! Very hot! Through a series of events, these scantily clad women disrupt a diamond exchange from Mr. Chang (Peter Bromilow). Needless to say, he is not pleased. Donna calls in some backup from Rowdy (Ronn Moss) and Jade (Harold Diamond). Now, between sex sessions, these four can do some stuff or something. Oh, by the way, there is also a killer snake that “has been infected by deadly toxins from cancer infested rats.” The snake is so angry! RTS hangs on to the second box of diamonds. Time to fund a summer party! Jeremy questions the assassin doing a handstand on a skateboard. He must be “smoking some heavy doobies.” Good thing there’s a blowup doll. La-Mar becomes an ace shot with a rocket launcher. Moving targets be warned! Collin makes sure that your dreams are his lunch. Can all of these former Playboy Playmates save the day? Does it matter? You’ll have fun watching, kemosabe. 

It’s our anniversary! Thank you for listening! Let’s celebrate at the beach. Hoops (John Cusack) and his buddy George (Joel Murray) have just graduated high school. They’re both a bit directionless, so they decide to spend their summer in Nantucket. Hoops needs to find himself. Is it that kind of summer? Sure is! And, Cassandra (Demi Moore) needs help saving her house and the spirit of the island or something like that. RTS goes full Godzilla with the aid of the Stork brothers, Egg (Bobcat Goldthwait) and Clay (Tom Villard). Jeremy collects bomb shells on the beach with Ack Ack (Curtis Armstrong). It’s a sweet conversation piece when chatting up the beach babes. They’re looking at you, Cookie (Kimberly Foster). La-Mar demonstrates his crossbow abilities. Lobsters beware! Collin becomes the king of all of Boscoe’s puppies. Squid Calamari (Kristen Goelz) is pleased. Emily takes the rocket launcher right off the rack. A radio station better pay up! During all of this, there’s a regatta contest that we need to win. This is one crazy summer! 

“I'm a genie in a bottle (in a bottle, baby). You gotta rub me the right way (yeah).” Scotty (Dean Cameron) loses it all – and quickly. He swipes a bottle of vodka and while getting blasted on the beach, he meets Gus (Pat Morita) who gives him a fresh blanket and a genie in a bottle. Turns out that Jeanie (Ami Dolenz) is a genie! In a bottle! What, what?! Scotty pursues, who he thinks is the woman of his dreams, Dana (Felicity Waterman), but with a little genie magic and some luck, he may come to his senses and find true love. RTS starts dishing out the wishes. They wish for a little of this and a little of that. They’re the wishmasters! Jeremy joins the Manchester Jazz Quartet. Sex peeping is a requirement. La-Mar teams up with a hot dog vendor and destroys all in a volleyball match. Collin searches for Ms. Bermuda Triangle! The only real winner is Ms. Fantasyland. 

Skate or die, summer friends! The legendary skating rivalry of The Ramp Locals and The Daggers is all shown here. It’s the Sharks and the Jets on wheels! Corey Webster (Josh Brolin) hasn’t collected any of the Infinity Stones or One-Eyed Willy’s gold (yet), and he’s staying in L.A. with his buddies for the summer. On day one, Corey falls for Chrissy (Pamela Gidley). Problem is that Chrissy is the sister of Tommy (Robert Rusler) who is the leader of The Daggers. Does Corey even know how hard Tommy can air guitar? Oh, he’s going to find out! Get ready for a ramp fire and a nighttime pool joust. All of this happens between amazing 80s city skating scenes. Eventually, this leads to the L.A. Massacre race. Winner takes all (one-thousand dollars)! RTS kickflips their way into these fun summer parties. La-Mar gets on a bus. By this, we mean that he is actually on top of the bus. Collin takes his board and ollies right into your heart! He seals it with a handplant! It’s about to get all rad up in here this summer! 

Welcome to summer! Surfs up, potato brains! Arizona wave tank champion, Rick (Matt Adler), goes to Hawaii for the summer to become the best surfer he can be. This fella has a lot to learn – especially about the culture of the island. After repeatedly eating it in the ocean, Rick also gets most of his belongings stolen. Rick soon meets Turtle (John Philbin) and Chandler (Gregory Harrison) who educate him in many ways. Chandler even mentors him as a surfer. Meanwhile, Rick starts falling for a local, Kiani (Nia Peeples), and this brings a new set of obstacles his way. What will happen when this all leads to the Banzai Pipeline contest? RTS enjoys Mai Tais on the beach. They soak in the sun and the ocean’s ambience. Jeremy takes up boogie boarding. Is there a competition for this? La-Mar wins a sandcastle contest. First prize: shaved ice treats! Hooray! Collin encourages everyone to get off their “bummus” and to not be an idiot. Enjoy the film, all the amazing surfing scenes and become the soul surfer you are destined to be. 

Alex (Lance Guest) dreams of big opportunities and a better life away from the trailer park he is currently living in. He’s denied a loan to attend the university of his choice, and this bums him out – big time! He then spends his night dominating the high score and beating a Starfighter arcade game. His girlfriend, Maggie (Catherine Mary Stewart), is VERY impressed! Nice moves, Alex! Little did everyone know that this arcade machine was actually a recruiting tool to find the best starfighters for real Gunstar spaceships. The inventor of Starfighter, Centauri (Robert Preston), rolls up in a future-mobile and a robot/Beta to sweep Alex away to the cosmos. Alex teams up with a good-humored pilot, Grig (Dan O’Herlihy), and together they will save Rylos or die trying. RTS checks out all the amenities that the Star League has to offer. Their craft services are solid! Jeremy is not about “victory or death.” He takes the first space bus outta this joint. La-Mar unleashes the Death Blossom from the start! Pew Pew! Are you the chosen one? Do you need to get into a star fight? Probably! The galaxy needs you! 

There is a legend that there will be a great white ninja. When a ninja clan finds a child in a chest that has washed ashore, they raise him, Haru (Chris Farley), to become this legendary warrior. Unfortunately, Haru is as clumsy as can be and lacks the majority of skills (in most things). He does have a can-do attitude though. Haru is hired for a mission by Sally Jones (Nicollette Sheridan). Off to America he goes! Haru’s Sensei (Soon-Tek Oh) sends his best student, Gobei (Robin Shou), to look after Haru and aid in the mission. Silliness and many broken things will follow. RTS definitely knows when something has been or not been made by ninjas. Jeremy trains with Joey (Chris Rock) and a chicken on the loose. La-Mar has “traveled many miles and now [has] come disguised as a pimp to help you.” Collin shows us his belt. The blackness is intense! It’s “like the inside of a coffin on a moonlight night.” Don’t be led by the short sword and connect to the plane of enlightenment. “Holy Shinto!”

Do you have a case of the Byzantine Fire? Well, you should probably consult a medical professional about that. Jewel thief Gus Cardinale (Christopher Lambert) steals this coveted ruby amongst jewelry and diamonds. Gus’ partner Bruno (Christopher Lloyd) is delighted about their heist. Money is to be made! June (Kim Greist) is really hot and cold about it all. Also, she is Bruno’s daughter. Also, she is dating Gus. Could it get more complicated? Yes! Now, everyone wants ol’ B-Fire – this incudes Chief Inspector Francis Mahoney (J.T. Walsh), the Turkish government, terrorists and many more. RTS pitches an entire line of Lambert products. Special gatherings will never be the same. Jeremy tries to out-profane J.T. Walsh. It’s impossible! La-Mar lifts and swings a sack of cash – all one-dollar bills! Let’s take this to the local arcade. While everyone in the city is fighting among themselves, Collin goes with the old tried and tested smash and grab method. It works! If you get caught up in any of this, you might be asking “why me?” 

In 1977, through a strange series of events, tough guy for hire, Jackson Healy (Russell Crowe), and PI Holland March (Ryan Gosling) team up to find a missing girl, Amelia (Margaret Qualley), and to unravel a mystery with a dead porn star. Somehow these two manage to get things done – most likely because Holland’s daughter, Holly (Angourie Rice), is the most sensible amongst them. In the background there are fights, conspiracies, acts of government corruption, strange protests against the air, John Boy (Matt Bomer) is gun happy and on the loose and there are glamorous porn star parties in mansions. RTS avoids falling from balconies, rooftops, etc… Jeremy cracks open a nice cold Yoohoo. It puts a slight dance in his step. La-Mar makes sure his cookie jar is full of bullets. You never know. Collin learns that all cars drive themselves. Just let go. If things get out of control, grab the ankle gun in your dreams. 

How could we not check this film out? Collin has welcomed us all – to his wooden ways. Cosimo (Greendale Community College Alum, Luis Guzmán) gets locked up and learns about the perfect heist from his cellmate. He just needs to get out to do it. He confides in his gal pal Rosalind (Patricia Clarkson) which leads to everyone knowing and wanting a piece for themselves. This includes Pero (Sam Rockwell), Riley (William H. Macy), Leon (Isaiah Washington) and Toto (Michael Jeter). This makes Cosimo angry, and he has a lot to say about everyone’s mothers. In the background, there’s a bit of romance between Pero and Carmela (Jennifer Esposito). Will anyone care? George Clooney is even doing some stuff here. RTS knows when there’s a real Bellini on the table. This isn’t it. Jeremy considers being a Mullinski but the price has to be just right. La-Mar finds hidden treasures in the cookie jar. Collin has already given you everything. He has welcomed you. Isn’t that enough for you? Don’t let this turn into a real Kapuchnik. 

In a fantasy land, it all comes down to who can control a magic ruby. You know a bunch of villains want this thing! Canary (Virgina Bryant) is taken captive by Kadar (Richard Lynch), and her band of traveling entertainers are either killed, or they have scattered into the woods. Luckily, Canary has hidden the ruby, but for how long will it stay secure? Enter the twin hunky boy glisten show! Gore (David Paul) and Kutchek (Peter Paul) traveled with Canary and were separated as kids. Once they reconnect and fight it out a bit, they decide to escape and to become do-gooders. Along the way, they meet up with Ismene (Eva LaRue) who has her own backstory going on. As the three travel together, evil beware! RTS loves obtaining magical weapons to fight a swamp dragon. GOO! Jeremy does and doesn’t want you to know about his mini crossbow. La-Mar develops a plan with China (Sheeba Alahani) to get the ruby for themselves. Get your swamp boots ready! Collin starts putting the ruby everywhere and on everyone to see if it glows. Eventually, it does! See ya at the harem. 

Authorities have finally caught international terrorist Charles Rane (Bruce Payne). The best thing to do is book him on a nice first-class flight to L.A. Seems like this guy needs a steak and a fun in-flight film. John Cutter (Wesley Snipes) has just accepted a new position in an anti-terrorism unit, and he is undercover on this flight. So, inevitably when this all goes bonkers quickly, Cutter will be on the case. He will also bicker with Marti (Alex Datcher) while terrorism runs rampant. It’s all about priorities. Sly Delvecchio (Tom Sizemore) looms in the background. RTS deboards the plane and immediately heads to the fairgrounds with Elizabeth Hurley. Let’s win her an oversized stuffed animal. Jeremy has a corndog and some funnel cake on a Ferris wheel. If there’s room, he might have a beer and a bratwurst later. La-Mar makes sure to order his airline sirloin bloody. It becomes questionable. Brendt goes reverse-Commando on a plane. He also updates his turquoise earring collection. Do you think most of this film will be on a plane? You’ll be betting on red if that is the case.