When a Lost Love Becomes History

In the first episode of Call Me Tony, I told a story about someone I'd loved when I was young. Someone I hadn't seen since 1994, but who remained a significant part of my emotional life for more than two decades.

At the time, Facebook kept suggesting her as someone I might know. I chose not to reconnect. I wanted to preserve what we'd had rather than find out what reality might do to the memory.

Years later, I went back and listened to that episode.

I remembered almost every word. I still understood the person who recorded it. I still agreed with most of what he said.

I just didn't feel the same fondness attached to the memory anymore.

This isn't really a story about getting over someone. It's about recognizing that something which once had enormous power over you has quietly become history.

The relationship mattered. The love mattered. The longing mattered.

None of it needs to disappear for me to stop trying to live in it.