How To Become More Confident: Confidence, Work, School, Self-Esteem, and Relationships

In this episode you'll learn how to be confident in work, school, friendship, and romantic relationships. Hang on to your hat and hit play.

Transcript:

Let’s talk about confidence. In this episode, you’ll learn how to become more confident, not just in general - although we’ll cover that - but also how to apply that confidence to work, school, self-esteem, and relationships. At the end of this episode, you’ll get some homework and begin applying what you learn.  Let us begin.

When do you know that you have confidence?

When you feel sure that you’re making good choices.

The more good choices you make, the better.

When you make a good decision and act on it, you respect yourself more. Confidence equals respecting yourself. Make good decisions. Act on them. Respect yourself. Feel more confident. Repeat.

Let’s talk about having more confidence at work. Here’s how to be respected and get promoted at work  the Unforced Garden Way:

Prioritize the work that you’re good at, the work that is easy, fun, and good for you. In other words, do the stuff that helps your company the most and makes you shine. Figure out a good thing (that fun, easy, and good for you activity) and decide to prioritize it. Tell others that it’s fun for you. Encourage them to invite you to do more of it. Let your work speak for itself. That will help you become known; that activity will become your trademark, and your further growth in your job and career will develop more and more good things based on that first good for you activity.

Let’s talk about having more confidence at school. Here’s how to get good grades and make friends the Unforced Garden Way:

Approach your studies by using methods that work well for you. Try studying outside. Try studying in 5 minute chunks. Try studying with a friend. Try reading your notes into an audio recorder and listening to them while you go for a walk. Try studying alone while listening to music. Figure out an approach for studying that is fun and easy for you and turn to that method often.

When it comes to friends, be friendly to everyone. Everyone. Don’t try to befriend certain people and hope that they will like you back and strive to be quote unquote worthy of their attention. Nope. Be friendly to everyone. A few of them will feel an immediate, unforced rapport with you. Those people will be your friends. In other words, you will have planted the seeds and good things will arise. The rest - those people who didn’t feel that immediate rapport - will know of you as the friendly one. Not a bad thing.

Let’s talk about having more self-esteem the Unforced Garden Way:

It’s all about having respect for what you’re doing. If you feel like crap about yourself, it’s probably been acting on decisions that you disagree with. Start making better decisions and acting on them. The more times you do something that you agree with, the more you’ll respect yourself. Because you’re a person who makes good choices and acts on them. You’ll start to trust yourself to be someone who makes good decisions.

Let’s talk about confidence and relationships. Here’s how to get into a good relationship and keep it equitable and respectful the Unforced Garden Way:  Big news, everyone: An Unforced Garden Style relationship is fun, easy, and good for you. Much as in friendship, the rapport must be instinctive, not forced. The relationship must come naturally. And the relationship must be good for you - in the sense that it causes you to feel vibrant, strong, loved, and respected by both yourself and your partner.

Go on a billion dates. Continue dating the people with whom you have natural rapport. Go on a million more dates with those candidates. Continue dating the people with whom you have a natural rapport AND a lot of fun. Go on a thousand more dates with those remaining candidates. Select the person with whom you have an instinctive rapport, a lot of fun, and a vital sense of health and happiness. As with everything, plant a million seeds of opportunity, and prioritize the seeds that are fun, easy, and good for you.

If a relationship stops being fun, easy, and good for you, you have two approaches. 1. Try a few Unforced Garden-Style solutions - plant some seeds and try some new strategies to see if things smooth out. And, 2, break up. There’s nothing like a clean breakup to clear the garden bed for more opportunities.

Here’s your homework:

Pick one area of your life to focus on this week. Confidence in general, confidence at work, self-esteem, confidence in school, or confidence in romantic relationships. In that area, make decisions that you respect. Then act on those decisions. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

That’s the end of this episode. If you liked it, please share it with someone else.

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