• 740. The Simple Way to Stop Self-Judgment

    Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell break down the conversation with Jamie Lerner, a well-being therapist and author who left psychotherapy after watching clients use their past as the excuse that kept them stuck. They dig into why society rewards women for wearing the busy badge, what it actually means to look inward, and the internal compass Jamie says everyone is born with.


    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

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    In this episode you will learn about:

    • How society rewards women who put themselves last and stay overworked.
    • Brad unpacks the inner knowing Jamie calls a natural internal compass.
    • Five minutes of silence outside as the practice of looking inward.
    • Laughing when you judge others reveals what you actually want yourself.
    • Setting aside ten minutes daily for lovingly curious questions.


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    Episode Transcript:

    Lesley Logan 0:00  

    I actually don't think it's bad to be jealous. I think it is bad to judge yourself for being jealous and not actually taking a moment to know why. What about that thing is making me have the grass is greener?


    Lesley Logan 0:11  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.


    Lesley Logan 0:54  

    Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the insightful convo I had with Jamie Lerner in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now and go back and listen to that one, and then come back and join us, or you can just listen all the way through and then just let your podcast play that one. 


    Brad Crowell 1:11  

    You can start at episode one. We're only 740 in right now.


    Lesley Logan 1:15  

    I know. I mean, so many. It's so many. Today is October 1st 2026. It is ADHD Awareness Month, and you are listening to two ADHD hosts. By the way, just so you know, when we record these, the Adderall is worn off, so.


    Brad Crowell 1:29  

    That's also true.


    Lesley Logan 1:30  

    It's all we don't ever record when we are medicated. So because that would be that would make too much sense. But ADHD Awareness Month shines a light on Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder throughout October. This vital observance, spearheaded by organizations like Attention Deficit Disorder Association, aims to educate the public, reduce stigma, and champion effective treatments. Join the conversation, share resources, and support those navigating life with ADHD. I just want to tell you guys, it's not like a trend to go get diagnosed. If you think that you that's what's going on with you. You should do it because there are really great tools and systems that you can use. You don't have to take Adderall. There's other options. There's other systems you could put in place. But it has been really quite helpful to understand what's ADHD and what's just tired and what's whatever. And oh, I'm going on a dopamine high. Let's adopt a dog. You know, decisions like that. But I highly recommend it. And then the other thing I just want to add is I listened to this really wonderful clip where this woman said that the title ADHD is not really the best because it's what it is is it's a regulation disorder. People with ADHD have a hard time regulating in general. So like we go on highs and lows and highs and lows because it's really hard to regulate. I really like the example of you know those of you who listen to the podcast. Most of you understand, in the 80s and 90s there were those pens that had red, green, black, blue, right?


    Brad Crowell 2:50  

    Sure.


    Lesley Logan 2:51  

    So a neurotypical person will think red, click red, use red, finish the red, right? A neurodivergent person. 


    Brad Crowell 3:00  

    Is that what they'll do?


    Lesley Logan 3:00  

    Yeah, a neurodivergent person with ADHD will go. I had five ideas, all five pen, all five colors at the same time. That's how their brain works. And I thought that if you don't understand what that's like, you that I think it's a good visual. So, anyways, if you hear chewing in the background, that's Darla, and we're gonna let her do it because it keeps her busy, otherwise. 


    Brad Crowell 3:19  

    That's her ADHD (inaudible) also, too, my understanding is that ADHD presents itself slightly differently between men and women, and it's really coming out strong as. 


    Lesley Logan 3:34  

    The largest number of women are going through perimenopause at the same time.


    Brad Crowell 3:37  

    Yes, that is the point I was ultimately trying to eloquently get to, that I am not a woman to be able to say that, but that's happening right now, and so it might be that you have ADHD undiagnosed and don't know it. And if you're thinking, "Oh my god, I can't fucking think anymore, maybe it's because of this, and it's worth going to talk to someone about it. We did, and it was hilarious. Lesley's already told the story, but in five minutes, the psychiatrist was, "Yeah, you have ADHD. I'm giving you boom. You know, you're good. Let's go.


    Lesley Logan 4:10  

    And Brad and I did.


    Brad Crowell 4:11  

    I had to do a friggin' test.


    Lesley Logan 4:12  

    You did all the tests. I was. I don't have time for these tests.


    Brad Crowell 4:16  

    I had to go do a whole computer exam and the whole nine. I mean, I'm glad I did, but also I was. I gotta go all the way back out here to this place. I mean it's like 20 minutes away, but it felt like forever. Anyway, I'm very happy that I am formally diagnosed, and it has been interesting to to be taking medication for something like this because I I just always assumed that I was just getting older and my brain wasn't working the way that it used to, and that's true, I think. But also, I wonder. I don't know. I felt very productive and you know cogent when I was younger, and then things just started to slip away for me, and I just associated that with all the things that happened in my life and. 


    Lesley Logan 4:55  

    Maybe you're going through perimenopause.


    Brad Crowell 4:56  

    Yeah, I must be. I mean, I think I think that's it.


    Brad Crowell 5:00  

    That's the conclusion. I don't even know how I didn't come to that conclusion. 


    Lesley Logan 5:02  

    You know what I will say is the psychiatrist was really thoughtful. She said, "Look, she says what you'll have to understand about yourself is it's you versus the ADHD, and if you can really understand what's me and what's ADHD, it will really help you. As is a child where my ADHD was fully showing up, and people, oh, you're just not applying yourself. Oh, you're just being you're procrastinating. Oh, this, and so really, I'll be completely honest. I actually had a moment of being fucking pissed off because I think my life would be completely different had someone just diagnosed me earlier. Instead, I went my whole life masking, and then I got to a place where my hormones weren't helping me mask anymore, and I was tired of masking. And then I was just a fucking cunt. I was just mean. I was irritable. And now, when I am taking the medication and I'm focused and I'm irritable, I actually know that I am actually irritated. Versus, oh, this is just my. I'm tired. My brain is not able to operate, which means watch the fuck out because now I know.


    Brad Crowell 6:03  

    Now we know.


    Lesley Logan 6:04  

    Now we know. Now we know. And I'm a January Aquarius, and so some of it is we're tired. We're ready. We're moving on. Anyways, moving on. There's a lot of a lot of events and travel. So upLift is our teacher training program. You probably have heard the rumor. It's been something they've been whispering about. But my teacher training program for new teachers or partially trained teachers is called upLift, and it is going to start early next year in many different cities. If you want to know which cities that are going to be in.


    Brad Crowell 6:27  

    Probably around the world, in fact.


    Lesley Logan 6:29  

    That's our goal. That's our goal. At the time we're recording this, I'm looking at the applications right now, and I have some really epic educators that have applied that I'm really excited about. We're working really hard to make sure that next year is the right time for them, but you want to go to xxll.co/uws xxll.co/uws. If you are what are what is this all. 


    Brad Crowell 6:51  

    That's for upLift waitlist


    Lesley Logan 6:53  

    student


    Brad Crowell 6:54  

    student


    Lesley Logan 6:54  

    and you can blame Brad. So go there because I'm updating that waitlist monthly, and those are the people the people who will hear about the locations first. You won't have to wait for the Instagram algorithm to show you something. eLevate is for those who are already trained and you're looking for more of a master's program to study amongst other teachers, and you want to directly study with me. You can look at our live Q and A call that we did earlier this summer. I guess it's at lesleylogan.co/elevate. I will just tell you, we're recording this not when you're hearing it, and at the time of recording, there are two spots left in 2028, and 10 applications that at any time someone could go, yes, I'm ready, but don't let that stop you. Check it out. See, you might get the last spot if that's what you're looking for. Also, eLevate grads are the people who right now can apply to be an upLift educator. So if you were oh I want to be one of those educators, you must have gone through upLift at this time. So check that out. The flashcards. If you didn't know, maybe you love OPC or you're not ready to be an OPC member yet, but you are wanting to study with me, and like the other options are just not what you need right now. You can be a Pilates lover of any level. You can be a teacher of any background. And when you buy the OPC flashcards, you're actually supporting the Nevada SPCA, which is where we got Miss Darla. Go to opc.me/flashcards. We have six decks in there in the set, and they're wonderful. And they're edited by a contemporary trained instructor with contemporary equipment, and they are edited by my sister-in-law, who's never done Pilates. So anyone can read them. And then we have heard so many times people don't know where the posters are. Go to opc.me/posters. Okay, wow, this is a lot of talking. Really quickly, we are headed to Sacramento literally next week, and it's sold out. So you, too bad, so sad. You missed. If you don't have a ticket, you're. We're not seeing you there.


    Brad Crowell 8:36  

    Sacramento because Balanced Body is having a Pilates On Tour. It's also their 50th anniversary celebration.


    Lesley Logan 8:41  

    You can hang out with me at another 50th celebration, but stay tuned for that. We are going to go from Sacramento by another train to San Francisco. I think this sounds like a terrible idea, but this is what we're doing to fly to Cambodia to lead our retreat. And it was definitely an ADHD planned moment, and now we're going to live it.


    Brad Crowell 9:00  

    Oh we're living it.


    Lesley Logan 9:01  

    We're living it. Just thinking about the return trip home. So here's the deal, guys. We're driving to Sacramento with the van.


    Brad Crowell 9:07  

    Which is nine and a half hours.


    Lesley Logan 9:08  

    Nine and a half hours. Okay, sounds fun because it's so much easier than shipping the flashcards. It costs us so much fucking money to do that. 


    Brad Crowell 9:15  

    It's also trying to get the van at the event.


    Lesley Logan 9:18  

    Yeah, but it's not gonna. 


    Brad Crowell 9:21  

    We're gonna park that right out front. We're we're putting that in they're gonna they're gonna valet park that sucker right in front of the entrance.


    Lesley Logan 9:28  

    I know Brad's gonna figure that out because the event is not at their headquarters. 


    Brad Crowell 9:31  

    No, it's at the Hyatt or something. 


    Lesley Logan 9:32  

    It's like a thing, right? Yeah. So, anyways, I'll let you figure that out because I that's not my monkey, not my circus. Then we'll be at the event. Then we're gonna park that van at Ken Endelman's house, supposedly, which we have no idea where that is in regards to the Amtrak. We have to take an Amtrak. Hopefully, there's one left. We take the Amtrak to a BART before the BART shut down on a Sunday night. From the BART to our hotel, and then the next morning we fly out of San Francisco. Part of me is just throw money at this problem and park the van somewhere in San Francisco, but it's San Francisco, and I'm a little worried someone's going to move in. So we're not doing that. Not doing that. So, then. 


    Brad Crowell 10:08  

    No, if we're going to throw money at the problem, we're hiring a private driver from Sacramento.


    Lesley Logan 10:11  

    That's a great idea. But here's what's going to happen: we return back, and we have to do the reverse trip, you guys, we have to go BART to Amtrak, Amtrak to the van, and then a nine and a half hour drive home. And this is the part that I don't think my husband has thought through. So you're hearing it first here. I think he is too. So if you want to go to Cambodia next year, when we're not doing planes, trains, and automobiles, you can get on the wait list. I don't know the link for that. Brad will tell you.


    Brad Crowell 10:39  

    crowsnestretreats.com


    Lesley Logan 10:41  

    Great. January is when we'll open up the early bird. We have so many people interested in 2027. I promise you do not want to wait. 


    Brad Crowell 10:48  

    We had a lot of interest, especially from this summer tour that we just got back from. A lot of interest, and I'm telling you, this past year's trip sold out in three weeks, and I'm sure this one is going to do the same or even faster.


    Lesley Logan 11:02  

    Yeah. Then in November, I'm teaching at basically a Pilates On Tour, but in China, outside of Shanghai, I can't tell you how you're going to sign up for that. But I feel I feel like if you Google it, it will happen. They are not. They've not sent me a link for you. So, but people are excited.


    Brad Crowell 11:17  

    You can find it online.


    Lesley Logan 11:18  

    I'm sure you can. I'm sure you're all here. I'm sure you can all Google, but then because I'm a crazy person, I'm gonna go back to Asia two weeks later to teach at Pilates On Tour Goa.


    Brad Crowell 11:30  

    Which is India.


    Lesley Logan 11:31  

    Yeah, it is India. I think people know Goa. It looks stunning, you guys. And this particular POT, it's the last one of the 50th year celebration, and when you, it's very different because we all have lunch together. It's more like a retreat style. You are there for the whole event. You are going to go to Instagram Pilates On Tour India, and you can sign up through there because.  


    Brad Crowell 11:54  

    It's not on the POT page. It's not on Balanced Body's website.


    Lesley Logan 11:57  

    I mean, you know what? It might be.


    Brad Crowell 11:58  

    It is. It's xxll.co/pot


    Lesley Logan 12:00  

    Okay, do that. What do I know? I'm just the. 


    Brad Crowell 12:02  

    I'm sure it's on there.


    Lesley Logan 12:03  

    You guys, today is October 1st, which means the tickets drop today for the winter tour. So do not miss out. Go to opc.me/tour because.


    Brad Crowell 12:12  

    By the way, if you didn't hear what she just said, the winter tour tickets have just dropped today.


    Lesley Logan 12:19  

    Today, today, today, and we, it's going to be a very big tour. I'm actually flying from Goa to Denver, which doesn't make any sense now that I know the route. I'm coming through Europe, so I probably should have met you in New York. 


    Brad Crowell 12:34  

    Yeah, we're not. We're not doing that. You're coming as close to home as possible, but yeah, we're going to pick her up in in in Denver, and then go from there. But it's exciting to see the route is coming together. We're almost done. I can tell you the first half of the tour is going to take us from we're going to do Fort Collins or just south. There's a smaller town just south of Fort Collins. That's going to be the first tour stop. It's going to go up. There's a couple of stops on the way to Chicago, and there's a bunch more stops on the way to Boston, and then we're gonna scoop back around through New York and then Hershey, we're coming back to you.


    Lesley Logan 13:06  

    We love Hershey. You love us. 


    Brad Crowell 13:09  

    Then we're going down East Coast, but we're gonna cut over to Charlotte, North Carolina, and then we're gonna make our way down to Florida and then back across the country. So those are still TBD. We're working out the-the logistics and all the things. 


    Lesley Logan 13:22  

    By the time you're hearing this, it's worked out.


    Brad Crowell 13:24  

    Oh yeah, it's worked out. Just go to OPC.me/tour. What am I talking about?


    Lesley Logan 13:27  

    We're actually just recording this in the past.


    Brad Crowell 13:30  

    Yeah.


    Lesley Logan 13:31  

    Before it has been because that's how we do life. Okay, we got to move on.


    Brad Crowell 13:34  

    Let's go. Let's go.


    Lesley Logan 13:35  

    So real quick, you guys, as you know, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and we wanted to spotlight a a project that we actually know the founder of very well. We know Pilates instructors who are part of it. So it's a nonprofit built by the Pilates community, founded in 2012 by Pilates instructor Jill Hinson after she saw firsthand how quickly Reformer work helped two clients recover from breast cancer surgery to regain their strength and mobility. So it's the Core Compassion Project, and realized that most people who could benefit from Pilates couldn't afford it. So, especially when they're going through cancer treatment. So, Core Compassion provides Pilate scholarships to breast cancer patients and survivors. $700 funds 10 private one-on-one sessions with a certified instructor who's specifically trained in post-cancer rehab, which is very important. You can't just show up to any Pilates studio and expect them to be able to support you during this journey, you definitely want someone who understands because they'll probably need what they can also provide is free specialized fitness bras and lymphedema compression sleeves, and then things which are things like survivors are needing, but the insurance doesn't cover most times. Doesn't cover a lot of things anymore. It's 100% volunteer run with a board that includes past scholarship recipients, and every October they rally the Pilates community together through their Compassion MATraiser, where studios and teachers host donation-based classes to fund the mission. If you are a Pilates person listening to this, and probably you are, this is your charity. So find more at corecompassionproject.org, or if you're just someone who wants to support women who are going through this and need this, it's at corecompassionproject.org. Obviously, if you don't have, you can also just supply $5. I mean, they'll take it, I'm sure. So, but $700 gets you gets that person 10 one-on-one sessions, which is really wonderful for someone who can understand what they're going through. So, anyways, if you have a charity you'd like us to look into, or you have a win that you want me to talk about on the FYFs, you can text us at 310-905-5534 or submit it at beitpod.com/questions. Yeah, okay, we're ready to talk about Jamie Lerner, finally.


    Brad Crowell 15:32  

    Woo!


    Brad Crowell 15:34  

    Welcome back. Let's talk about Jamie Lerner. Jamie is a well-being therapist and an author. She helps people get from where they are to where they want to be. After years as a psychotherapist, Jamie realized that having people look back at their past was not helping them move forward. Instead, it was becoming the very excuse that kept them stuck. So she walked away and looked within, discovering that her superpower was her own inner knowing about her own life, and she was trying to figure out how to explain that to others, how they can get back to that themselves. So today, she teaches people to trust themselves, take personal responsibility, and get lovingly curious about their own inner being. So, she wrote a book. It's called The Ever Loving Essence of You. You can find it on Amazon. She also has a service called The Quickie, which is her texting service where you can buy a package of time and text back and forth with her. Those links are going to be in the show notes. But she clearly has been through the psychotherapy couch sessions and was I'm over this myself. I'm I'm going to help people in a different way. It was really cool.


    Lesley Logan 16:38  

    I can't even imagine because I have to be honest. I can't even have friends who repeat themselves and stick get stuck. Like it really, it takes everything in me to listen to someone complain about the same thing for the third time. I cannot. So I could not ever have that job. And she said we we often live in a this victim mentality, and that society actively rewards women for being the victim by putting ourselves last and being overworked, and so it's true because everyone just wears the busy badge, right? I've got the busy badge of honor over here, and look how busy I am, look how tired I am, and look at all the things that I've done. And then guess what, you guys? Let's guess what they're gonna do. When you fail, then they're gonna call you controlling, emotional, emotional perfectionist, some control freak. So you can't win, but it's a false belief that all these other things are more important than our own well-being, and we use, she said, we use being busy as an excuse, choosing to hide behind it simply because we do not know how to include ourselves in self-care, and I think this is really key because I meet so many people who say, well, so it must be so nice for you because you have the time. You don't have kids, so you must have the time. You're right. I don't have kids. I don't have kids. We have two dogs, so I don't. They're not the same. But also, we're very busy. We have three companies plus a fourth in a different country. We have hundreds of members. We have dozens of people on our team. We have a different version of responsibilities. And if I do not take care of myself, I am not going to be able to do these things.


    Brad Crowell 18:06  

    Yeah, we we have a different definition of busy, and it doesn't involve you know kids and soccer games.


    Lesley Logan 18:10  

    I would say different definition of responsibility. We have different responsibilities. So, but I.  


    Brad Crowell 18:15  

    I guess we have a we have the same we have we have the same I'm busy excuse, but just in a different manner.


    Lesley Logan 18:21  

    Yeah, but I also, but I really do think that she is correct that we went. Okay, this. Well, I'm glad that we're re-recording this. You guys, this is the second time we record this. We recorded this before tour, and now we're back from tour. And we were in a city. I will not name the city, but we were in a city, and it was, we walked into a restaurant, which, by the way, the team did not tell me that there's probably a dress code. So I walk in, in cutoff shorts and an oversized T-shirt, with my bright red platform Crocs, okay, so I look like hell, and it was definitely the Real Housewives of that city kind of a restaurant. And we got stuck next to this table of the Real Housewives from that city, and I, five minutes of eavesdropping to their table, and I was, "Brad, I fucking cannot. If this is what having friendships like this is supposed to be about in a city, thank God we don't have kids. I could not." All they did was talk about, oh, it was how's your mom, and then the only reason they would listen is if their mom was sick. Oh, how's your kid? If you talked about your kids doing great, they didn't know what to say, so then they said, "Oh, well, she's struggling with this. Oh my god, mine too. Everyone, the conversation only kept going, and you were only rewarded for what you said if it was all negative and you were a victim and something was wrong. My goodness, you know what my favorite conversations with my friends are, is what they celebrate. Oh, I slayed this. Yeah, I bet you did. I love those conversations. So, anyways, but that's how people are rewarded, and then they get rewarded for putting themselves last because they're definitely looked at badly if they put themselves first by those people. But I would say there's a whole group of people like me who are ready to celebrate you putting yourself first. So, and Jamie, that's what Jamie wants.


    Brad Crowell 19:58  

    And Jamie. Absolutely. One thing I loved that Jamie said was that we are all born with a knowing, which acts as like a natural internal compass. This is very foreign idea to me. I did not grow up with anyone explaining that I could look inwardly and I could understand what I'm feeling and if something is right or wrong for me. You know, it's just not how I was raised.


    Lesley Logan 20:22  

    So I wasn't raised that way, but I know I had this, and that's why I felt like a weirdo, and that's why I was getting like I would get in trouble because the inner knowing was the compass. I don't actually know where East and West is, but I know what felt good, and that what people were wanting me to do did not feel good. Yeah, I didn't know how to do it. I didn't know what I was doing, so I was just.


    Brad Crowell 20:39  

    I definitely wasn't a people-pleaser. I was definitely the rebel, and I did the rebel. 


    Lesley Logan 20:44  

    Yeah, I would say you have an inner knowing. You wore ridiculous clothes every single day. 


    Brad Crowell 20:48  

    Yeah, but it was a little bit of like an FU to the man in a sense, as a teenager.


    Lesley Logan 20:51  

    Yeah, because there's an inner knowing that you that you wanted to do that.


    Brad Crowell 20:53  

    I did want to do that, and I was I always looked out to see how I could stick a thorn in the side of the process without actually getting in trouble, yeah, that's how I rolled. I didn't really want to get in trouble, but I really wanted to cause trouble. Does that make sense? 


    Lesley Logan 21:07  

    You just wanted to see how far you could do without being in trouble because you wanted to feel like you were breaking the rules without breaking the rules. 


    Brad Crowell 21:13  

    Yeah, yeah, pretty much. Yeah, you know. But anyway, this inner knowing that Jamie's talking about, she explained because of the contrast of life, society trains us to look outside of ourselves for pretty much everything, right? I mean, the irony is that we have a podcast telling you to look inwardly, but I think that it is just natural for us to look outside of ourselves. Our our parents, our church, our work, our friends, our siblings-you know-we're constantly looking to others for approval, I was the same way, especially when I was younger.


    Lesley Logan 21:43  

    Oh, we're raised to look at other people for approval, especially women. But I'm sure you, too, because even the Boy Scouts are the troop leaders going to give you these badges. Did you do a good enough job? Everything is to get other people's opinions of you to matter, but that's not whose opinion matters.


    Brad Crowell 21:58  

    Yeah, and seeking that external validation causes us to lose the basic sense of can we even trust our own decisions? What do we actually want for us? We don't even know what we want for us most of the time. Well, especially when we were growing up, what we wanted for us was what our parents told us we wanted for us, and then and then like somewhere in there, we're supposed to be oh now I get to choose what I want for me, you know, and and and we don't shift. Oh, you know, we're still looking to.


    Lesley Logan 22:26  

    Well, you never got to practice it.


    Brad Crowell 22:28  

    Right. Yeah, and and her argument is it's very easy for us to get back to looking internally, and she says that there's a trust that gets built when you sit with yourself, and she was talking about it's not even complicated in the sense of this meditation idea that I could never wrap my head around. And she said, "You know, you don't need to do any anything like that. It could just be five minutes of silence drinking a cup of coffee, where you just have a moment of you with you.


    Lesley Logan 22:57  

    Oh my god! I forgot my AirPods yesterday on the dog walk.


    Brad Crowell 22:59  

    Weird. 


    Lesley Logan 23:00  

    I know. I loved it.


    Brad Crowell 23:03  

    Oh, that was like an hour. Yeah. Well, good for you. 


    Lesley Logan 23:06  

    I mean, here's the deal. I loved the first half, and then the second half, I was done with it myself because I'm in my head all day, you know. So I didn't need more time. But so I did listen to a podcast without headphones, and well, the neighbors get to listen to my my true crime. But the first half was just like such a nice. I could hear the birds and all the things, and I was. This is wonderful. Maybe I should just not put them in until halfway.


    Brad Crowell 23:28  

    I mean, I love that.


    Lesley Logan 23:29  

    It's a it's a good intention.


    Brad Crowell 23:31  

    There's value. There's value.


    Lesley Logan 23:32  

    I will say you don't even have to do that. Five minutes is actually not that long, and you you sit out on the front porch, you know, or you could walk around a block, or you could just walk across the street. But you should get outside and be quiet.


    Brad Crowell 23:46  

    So if you want a feeling of coming home to yourself, start to look inward and see what that means. You know?


    Lesley Logan 23:52  

    I'm all. Here's the thing: she does make it sound so simple in a way that I did challenge her. Is it really that simple? Hold on. Is there? I mean, I was Jamie, people aren't gonna think it's that simple, but I think we overcomplicate things, and people have overcomplicated things to sell you something. And she's, it's actually, it is actually simple. And I think sometimes we think, well, then it must not work. But I really did believe, I do, I do trust what she had to say at the end. You know what? I bet you it is that simple, and we just want it to be complicated because then we can't do it. 


    Brad Crowell 24:24  

    Yeah, I mean, but what is it? You know, when you're, what does it mean to look inward


    Lesley Logan 24:29  

    To listen to yourself and not other people?


    Brad Crowell 24:31  

    Yeah.


    Lesley Logan 24:31  

    Oh gosh, I mean, I think it means that you. Well, this is what people won't want to do, and they feel like they're going to let people down because they're doing things for themselves and not for other people. But you, the only we can let people down is if you are actually incapable of being empathetic and loving and and taking and. 


    Brad Crowell 24:47  

    No, that's not what I mean. What's the practice of looking inward? 


    Lesley Logan 24:50  

    I think that's personal.


    Brad Crowell 24:52  

    Yeah, but we have to give them an actual tangible. 


    Lesley Logan 24:55  

    Well, I think Jamie did it in in the podcast. I think it's in these takeaways.


    Brad Crowell 24:59  

    So I'm gonna tell you that sitting with yourself and actually not distracting yourself and having a moment to think, that's.


    Lesley Logan 25:10  

    Yeah, but I'm not gonna tell you right now because I'm looking ahead.


    Brad Crowell 25:12  

    All right, well stick around. We'll be right back. Because that was a great teaser.


    Brad Crowell 25:15  

    Woo! Welcome back. Let's dig into those Be It Action Items that we had with Jamie Lerner on the last episode, what bold, executable, intrinsic, or targeted action items can we take away from Lesley's convo with her? She said, "Hey, laugh when you judge others, because what that means is that we're actually judging ourselves because we're projecting. We are projecting, and you know, take it from a psychotherapist to understand the technical elements of all those things, she says it simply means we're just projecting how we feel about ourselves onto others because we're judging them. And what that means is we are not connected to ourselves. We are not looking inward on ourselves at all in that moment. And she said it takes a little bit of practice, but when you start to identify that you're judging others, you should laugh at yourself. So I thought that was really funny. Go laugh with yourself, not at yourself.


    Lesley Logan 26:07  

    Yeah, yeah. No, it's like, hahahaha, I clearly want that. Or there's something about that. How that's so funny. I didn't realize it's something I wanted, or that's something that there's something about that I desire. Or there's you know I actually don't think it's bad to be jealous, I think it is bad to judge yourself for being jealous and not actually taking a moment to know what about that thing is making me have the grass is greener? Oh, there's something about that that you want. Maybe not that exact thing, but there's an energy or an emotion or something. And so I think taking the time to notice what you're jealous of, or we have a couple solo episodes about comparison. I think just came out. Anyways, about comparison, and we compare ourselves when the clarity isn't clear about what we want. And when clarity is clear, you're gonna be more likely to see that someone else doing something has nothing to do with your ability to do something. But when you are comparing yourself to someone else, and that jealousy is there. Then it's a sign, like, "Oh, I'm not clear on what I want. How silly of me to be so hard on myself when I obviously haven't finished planning."


    Brad Crowell 27:11  

    Yeah, she said, "It's an observation of how often you're disconnected in any given moment, and the realization and laughter allows you to reconnect with yourself. So there's no time to judge yourself for judging others. But what about you?


    Lesley Logan 27:25  

    Well, this goes into the question you had about going inward. She said, and I'll go back to the other things that she said, set aside 10 minutes every day. That's not even a half a percent of your day. Set aside 10 minutes every day, or just little moments here and there to get tuned back into yourself. And she said, "You can sit quietly and notice how often we're unkind and cruel to ourselves in a way we would never speak to another person. And she said, "In this time, ask yourself questions that are lovingly curious. Oh, I wonder why I am so interested in what that person is doing, or I wonder why I'm so intrigued by that, or I wonder what would allow me to be able to do something like that. Have some loving curiosity about yourself instead of having demanding immediate solutions. Go of needing an answer and just asking is enough. We can go back to episode one.


    Brad Crowell 28:11  

    Wow.


    Lesley Logan 28:11  

    Episode one is about just being like it is. 


    Brad Crowell 28:15  

    I wonder.


    Lesley Logan 28:16  

    I wonder. You know, and so, opening a loop in your brain, so that you can oh, yeah. I don't think they can read. It's really hard.


    Brad Crowell 28:25  

    It's hard.


    Lesley Logan 28:26  

    It's hard. 


    Brad Crowell 28:27  

    If you're watching on YouTube, we are trying to. There's my 1/3 tattoo on my hand, and it's on for me to see, which makes it very difficult for you to see. So she said, practice this moment by moment, which I also love because.


    Brad Crowell 28:39  

    Wait, what did she say?


    Lesley Logan 28:40  

    She said, "Practice this moment by moment", and that's something I also love because we are so hard on ourselves to be able to do this all the time. No, you do little bits, and over time they add up to lots of bits, and then it takes more of your day. And she said, "Most important," she said, "Know yourself, love yourself, and trust yourself, and laugh a lot with yourself." And I do think I remember my parents always saying, "Laughter brings healing to the bones." 


    Brad Crowell 29:05  

    It's the best medicine. 


    Lesley Logan 29:07  

    It's the best medicine. It's a great core workout. So I couldn't agree more.


    Brad Crowell 29:10  

    That's what they said?


    Lesley Logan 29:11  

    Well, they didn't talk about the core workout, but I added that part. They would take a lesson, go, "Laughter brings healing to the bones."


    Brad Crowell 29:17  

    Wow. I don't think my parents did that.


    Lesley Logan 29:21  

    We had very different childhoods. 


    Brad Crowell 29:23  

    They just tickle monster us.


    Lesley Logan 29:24  

    You you had a very consistent one. Mine was a little bit of a roller coaster.


    Brad Crowell 29:28  

    Healing to the bones.


    Lesley Logan 29:32  

    You know what's something so funny is I was in my Pilates session today, and my teacher Kim was talking to these other two women who were in the group, and they said they said something. He goes, "No, you're not weak. You're impatient." And I laughed so hard as, and they're like, "Oh, I have to put that on my wall. You're not weak. You're just impatient." Yeah, you guys are just expecting yourself to be good about something you just learned yesterday. You're not. It's not a weakness. It's like you're expecting something to happen tomorrow when you just learned how to do it yesterday. You know. So be kind. Have some loving curiosity.


    Brad Crowell 30:10  

    Yeah. 10 minutes will do that. Set aside.


    Lesley Logan 30:13  

    I'm Lesley Logan,


    Brad Crowell 30:13  

    and I'm Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 30:14  

    You're amazing. Go send this to a friend as they hear it. Go laugh with yourself. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.


    Brad Crowell 30:20  

    Bye for now.


    Lesley Logan 30:21  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


    Brad Crowell 31:04  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 31:08  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


    Brad Crowell 31:13  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


    Lesley Logan 31:20  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


    Brad Crowell 31:23  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



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    31m - Oct 1, 2026
  • 739. How to Get Tuned Back Into Yourself

    Most people were trained to look outside themselves for every answer, and the habit runs so deep it stops feeling like a choice. Well-Being therapist Jamie Lerner joins Lesley Logan to make the case that the knowing was always there, and getting back to it takes ten minutes a day, not a seventeen-point journal and a three-hour workshop. Jamie explains why laughter beats self-judgment, how alignment makes action feel effortless, and why procrastination might be the friend nobody told you about.


    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.


    In this episode you will learn about:

    • How seeking outside becomes the excuse not to look within.
    • Why Jamie says not to share your knowing with anyone.
    • Laughter as the pattern for catching yourself judging others.
    • 10 minutes a day is enough to get tuned back into yourself.
    • Reframing procrastination as time to get into alignment.


    Episode References/Links:


    Guest Bio:

    Jamie Lerner, co-author of the book The Ever-Loving Essence of You, can put a fresh spin on just about anything that anyone throws her way. Her unique and masterful ability to re-frame even the most difficult situations is astounding. All of a sudden, your biggest nightmare becomes your greatest pleasure as she lovingly helps you sift through the contrast and find that small opening of light that quickly becomes your greatest jumping off point for clarity. Unassuming, reassuring and seemingly without any sense of ego, Jamie Lerner is able to put everyone and everything at ease. Jamie Lerner is an asset to any corporate setting. She is easily able to untangle the issues at hand and move right along into helping facilitate a solution-based platform for creative, productive, good-feeling collaboration and change. Jamie Lerner can most often be seen working with adults, teens, children, and couples as well as with small groups. She never positions herself as the expert of anything and is always reminding you that it is you who knows best for yourself ALWAYS. Jamie is an Integrative Well-Being Therapist who resides in the Southern California area.


    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

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    Episode Transcript:

    Jamie Lerner 0:00  

    When we make our own schedules based on our own needs, that we can offer so much more to others because we know what we need for ourselves first and foremost. And if you don't nourish yourself, it's really impossible to assist others because you feel resentful, and that doesn't feel good to other people or to you.


    Lesley Logan 0:21  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast, where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world, and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity, and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring bold, executable, intrinsic, and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and be it till you see it. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 


    Lesley Logan 1:03  

    Oh my goodness, loves! I am doing this intro with the most knowing, the most calm I could be. So obviously, that's a different, like it's a hummingbird calm. But the most calm and joyful, but thoughtful, and I mean, you're going to hear the word "knowing" a few times in this podcast. We have an incredible guest for you. I'm going to tell you right now. You're going to want to listen to this again. It is just wonderful reminder after reminder after reminder for you, my love. Listening to this because it's so easy to look outside of ourselves and then have frustrations about things that are going on. And our guest today is Jamie Lerner, and she is just going to help you find your absolute wonderful you-ness, your essence, and I don't mean that we're not. And this is not a double woo episode at all. This isn't even a woo. This is 100% authentic for you. I'm so excited to listen, and I hope you hit repeat, and I hope you share it with a friend, and I hope you check out what Jamie is doing if it really resonates with you because my goodness, I know I'm going to listen to this episode a few times because I just so many great reminders of what I knew. But sometimes you just get distracted because life gets crazy, and so this hopefully is your put on repeat when you need that. Here's Jamie Lerner. 


    Lesley Logan 2:18  

    All right, Be It babe, this is gonna be a magical conversation. Get ready. Be inspired, and really excited because we have the Jamie Lerner here, and I'm really thrilled. I got to meet her a while back, and just I'm amazed at what she's doing, and was so excited to talk to her. I had to bring her on. So, Jamie, can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at?


    Jamie Lerner 2:36  

    Yes. So, I am a well-being therapist, and I used to do psychotherapy, and felt like after a while that was just not working for me or the people that I was supposedly serving. So I shifted out of that, and now doing something completely different, which is assisting people in assisting themselves from getting from where they are to where they want to be.


    Lesley Logan 3:03  

    Well, of course we have to have you on because this is called "Be It Till You See It." So you got to know where you want to be and where you are. So this is the perfect combination. You can help them. I've been trying, but this is not my forte. This is how I do my life. I just kind of act as if I'm mayor already. But you, you know how to do that?


    Jamie Lerner 3:21  

    Well, I just know how to assist people to assist themselves because that is the whole point. That hopefully they don't need me for too long because they're, yeah, they're back to recreating the relationship with themselves, and that's where it all comes from.


    Lesley Logan 3:37  

    Oh, I love that. I also love the idea that the goal is that they don't need you forever.


    Jamie Lerner 3:42  

    Exactly.


    Lesley Logan 3:43  

    Yeah, because I do think sometimes people get a little attached and they feel like they can't do it with some without somebody. I'm a Pilates instructor and I teach a lot of instructors as well to let your clients they need to take ownership of their practice because it's yes, they it's good to have eyes on them and it's good for me to be there for safety. But if when they leave the studio, they're the ones who are walking and running and picking things up, I can't tell them what to do all the time. Otherwise, they don't know how to do it.


    Jamie Lerner 4:10  

    Exactly.


    Lesley Logan 4:11  

    Well, I want to get into. You just said something. It comes from their well-being. It comes from them. I feel like we're probably born with the ability to know who we are and who we want to be, and then I don't know. Maybe we're not, and then but then the world messes things up, and then we lose track of who we are and what we want to do. Is that the case? Is it something that we all have to discover, anyways? Kind of what? What do you see is is keeping people from being taking ownership and having that well-being?


    Jamie Lerner 4:37  

    So I think we're all born with the knowing, and I think just the contrast of life, we tend to be asked to look outside of ourselves for mostly everything, and so there isn't that sense that we could trust ourselves, and so it's much easier to seek outside instead of looking inward for the answer. However, I think it's very easy to get back to that, and when we do, it feels familiar, like coming home to ourselves, and that's when it gets really fun.


    Lesley Logan 5:14  

    Oh, I love that! You are right. It doesn't really matter what your career is. There's always this idea of what are other people going to think, or how do I make sure that I get the validation out there? And it's so easy for that to become-it's a need. I mean, obviously, constructive feedback and things like that are helpful, but somehow that can become a habit of where you're no longer listening to yourself.


    Jamie Lerner 5:37  

    I think that is the case, and it also becomes the excuse. So a lot of people are unaware of how often they use that excuse not to look within. And for most people, it's easier. It's scary when you have to quiet your mind chatter and really start to hear your own voice and your own inner knowing. So we just defer to everybody and everything else. However, it never quite feels right. I mean, who would know better for you than you? Nobody. Yeah.


    Lesley Logan 6:11  

    Oh, I do. I do love that because I mean, it's all. It's always hard for me to. I feel like for my mind to be quiet. My listeners know I'm an Aquarius, so there's a lot in there. A lot of chatter. The ADHD definitely goes strong. But I found ways where I when I fell in love with Pilates, my mind actually quiet got quiet, and I felt like in my body. And so I become kind of obsessed because every time I was in my Pilates and actually getting that mind-body connection, my mind was quiet, and I could hear these thoughts. You don't like to live here anymore, and I'm wow. What a weird thought to have, you know. So I will. We have to find these ways to quiet our mind. Do you have tools for people? Because I mean, most people are told to meditate, and a number of people I know who feel like they can't meditate. It's really makes it feel like one more thing they can't do.


    Jamie Lerner 6:59  

    Yeah and I think the idea of meditation is very intimidating because somehow we feel like there's just one way to do it, and we're never going to do it correctly. And I think meditation is just quieting the mind and being still and connected with yourself, even if it's five minutes, any point in the day where you can be so present that you can receive the thoughts that you're having in a way that's lovingly curious.


    Lesley Logan 7:26  

    Oh, well, that's hard, Jamie, lovingly curious. My listeners are recovering perfectionists and overachievers who are very rarely lovingly curious on themselves. You know what I mean? I find people to now more than ever they're so harsh on themselves. They're so loving towards others. They're so quick to give compliments to other people, and they're so hard on themselves.


    Jamie Lerner 7:47  

    But I think when we give people permission to do it, then it's easier. And I don't think we get that permission often. But to ask someone to do it, even as homework assignment to hear and feel something about yourself that you appreciate. One thing, not something that someone appreciates about you, but something that you appreciate about yourself. And I think that's a lovingly curious invitation.


    Lesley Logan 8:19  

    I do love that. What a great homework assignment. Everyone, write that down. That's your homework for number one. I'm glad you brought that up because one of the reasons I started this podcast is I found myself being in these amazing groups of people and not feeling like I could articulate questions. People had great questions, and I was like, "Oh, that's a great question. Oh, that's a great question." I would learn from their questions, but I was, they go, "Lesley, what's your question?" I'm like, "Oh, oh my God! What's my question? The pressure to come up with a question? And I found my brain judging the question. Oh, you could just look that up, or oh, you could just figure that out on yourself, or actually, that's just like that person's question. So you could probably use this answer. Not allowing myself permission in a space where I was allowed to be curious. So I love that you gave us an assignment because I do think it's kind of hard to be curious when you're an adult. It's easy when you're a kid, and then somewhere along the way, your crazy curious questions can get annoying to someone, or maybe get shut down, or maybe some reason you don't feel like you can ask us anymore. So, are there other curious questions we can lovingly ask ourselves?


    Jamie Lerner 9:19  

    It's all curiosity, and it's all for yourself and about yourself. So, really, there is no judgment whatsoever.


    Lesley Logan 9:29  

    What about the people who have the habit of being so judgy? You know what I mean? 


    Jamie Lerner 9:32  

    They're just all disconnected. So, when you notice that you're being judgmental of another, it's really good to laugh because you understand that you're just projecting how you feel about yourself on another, which means you're disconnected, and so you know you could be laughing all day in a lovingly curious way, just kind of catching yourself and being, oh yeah, here I go again. Jamie, I'm gonna think about you every time I catch myself in judgment of another because it's true. You it is always the thing that you don't like about yourself, but you're doing on them, and because it's interesting, right? Because you can you can have the consciousness that that's what you're doing because now you're aware, but then what do you what do you interrupt the thought with? This is the first time. This is the first time anyone's ever giving me that. But it's great because you're laughing with yourself all day long with yourself, not at yourself, and that becomes an observation of how often you're disconnected in a moment, and then knowing that in the next moment, just the realization and laughter allows you to reconnect with yourself. So there's really no time to judge yourself for judging others. It's just among them.


    Lesley Logan 10:50  

    Oh my goodness. Okay. Well, my mind is blown for the third time already. So early on this podcast, Jamie, you mentioned the journey to getting to being this person to help people because first you were a psychotherapist and now this now you're this well-being coach. We all know life isn't linear and there's all these little obstacles along the way. Can you talk about kind of any Be It Till You See It moments for yourself on how you could? I'm sure there's people that were wondering why are you switching this amazing career that you went to school for. I'm sure there's these different things and how did you kind of handle that or navigate that?


    Jamie Lerner 11:23  

    Well, I was born with the knowing, and I knew that from the moment I was born, and I never turned away from the knowing. So I always heard and continue to always hear my own voice, and I believe that other people felt that way too, because I think that that was my natural state of well-being. My issues were with my mom, who I did not have an emotional connection with at all. It was perplexing to me. How could I be so connected to myself and have no connection with her? But when I went to school for psychology, and then decided I was going to do private practice. It was about psychotherapy and asking people to look back. And I realized looking back is not helping anyone move forward. As a matter of fact, it becomes the very excuse why they don't move forward. And I realized, like, this doesn't feel good to me. I cannot continue to assist people in what I feel is just not feeling good. So I gave it up, and I studied, and I traveled. But mostly, I looked within myself and realized that my superpower is the connection I have with myself and taking personal responsibility. And I think that that's everybody's superpower. However, it's a hard sell. People want to do anything but take personal responsibility. 


    Lesley Logan 12:49  

    Yeah, they will. They will because I will talk to people about a dream schedule or just your ideal schedule because that's going to have you as a priority in it, and they'll come up with every excuse why that can't happen. My kid, this, my mom needs this. My dog is special needs, and all all the things, right? And okay, but at some point, you have to take responsibility for those things so that you can either change it, or you're just gonna live. You can keep living like this, and then don't come and complain to me in this moment that you're doing. 


    Jamie Lerner 13:20  

    Well, we live in this victim mentality society, and we get rewarded for being the victim, especially for women. You know, we get rewarded for putting ourselves last, being overworked, because we have all these other things that are so much more important. And I really feel like we hide behind that because we don't know how to include ourselves in self-care or giving ourselves permission to make time to do things that we really would like to be doing for ourselves, to nurture ourselves, to nourish ourselves so that we can care for others.


    Lesley Logan 13:52  

    Yeah.


    Jamie Lerner 13:52  

    Once again, the permission goes a long way.


    Lesley Logan 13:55  

    Yeah. You know, you bring up something interesting: the nourishment of ourselves with society out there telling every person how they're supposed to look and what they're supposed to be doing, we have this. I thought we were past it, Jamie. I really thought we got we thought we got past it, but now we've got these girls wasting away again. And it's if you are not nourishing yourself, you cannot be connected to yourself. You cannot have inner knowing because your brain is your brain and body are tired. They cannot function. They're in survival states, right? We have to nourishing ourselves as is is is mind-body, but really, like you still got to nourish the body's fuel, so you can connect, right?


    Jamie Lerner 14:29  

    Well, this is true, and we don't have to do it, but it is a really nice option. And I think that when we make our own schedules based on our own needs, that we can offer so much more to others because we know what we need for ourselves first and foremost. And if you don't nourish yourself, it's really impossible to assist others because you feel resentful, and that doesn't feel good to other people or to you.


    Lesley Logan 14:55  

    I couldn't agree more, Jamie. I have, I don't have children, so when I tell people. And women, because mostly it's I'm here to help. That's my, my. I know it's a calling, is giving them permission to prioritize themselves first. And they're, well, you don't have a child, you don't have children. And I was, okay. You are correct, but I don't. You think you want your kid to have someone who has stamina, energy, endurance to have generous love and excitement around them, not tired, exhausted, resentful of because that's going to happen if you are not nourished. Whatever nourishment is, maybe it's a sleep, maybe it's a movement practice. If you are not that, at some point it's going to be you'll be resentful, you'll be jealous.


    Jamie Lerner 15:36  

    But I'm sure the people think you don't, you just don't understand. 


    Lesley Logan 15:39  

    I don't get I don't get it. You're correct, Amy. I don't get it. 


    Jamie Lerner 15:42  

    I mean, you do get it, but that is their excuse why they're not gonna do it. 


    Lesley Logan 15:49  

    Uh huh. Yeah. No. They and and I and I will. I can say. I. You're correct. I don't get your life, but I don't even know that I get a life of another person who doesn't have children either. But I can say, we all all have needs, every single one of us, and whether you have kids or not, you do have to put yourself in that position to take care of yourself. And I do think people have taken. I actually think maybe you know this, Jamie, more than most. I think people are have such a habit of not listening and knowing themselves and taking care of themselves that they wouldn't even know what to do if we gave them the day off to do it?


    Jamie Lerner 16:23  

    Well, first of all, we don't need the day off.


    Lesley Logan 16:25  

    Okay great. 


    Jamie Lerner 16:27  

    It can be 10 minutes every day to get tuned back into yourself. We all can get back there, and it doesn't have to take a lot. It doesn't even have to take a conscious wanting to.


    Lesley Logan 16:39  

    Great, even better, Jamie, because. 


    Jamie Lerner 16:41  

    Yeah, just little moments here and there. Because to say it can happen feels overwhelming for people who don't even know where to start.


    Lesley Logan 16:52  

    Right. So if they're going to start with 10 minutes, what do you suggest they start with? Because I do recall. I remember during the pandemic, I feel like I'm operating in a place of stress, and I actually don't need to be doing that right now. I have all the money, I have a plan, I have all the things. I know what I want to do. So, what would I be doing if I wasn't stressed out? You know, and I had to actually go, "I don't even know," and I had to think about writing out all the things I could be doing. And I do I even want to do these things? So that's how I figured out. But I don't know what what would you say some for someone who's so far away from their knowing, and what would make them feel good. What do they do in those 10 minutes? 


    Jamie Lerner 17:29  

    Well, to sit with yourself is a really nice thing to do, and quiet your mind, and understand that the things that you think about yourself, you would never think about and say to another person. We're very unkind and cruel to ourselves to the point where here we go again is laughter because it's so ridiculous and not true. So it's that little bit of awareness, and then the question is enough. You don't have to have the answer, but just the ongoing series of questions that are lovingly curious to yourself about yourself without the pressure of an answer. It feels good. There's no. It doesn't have to even make sense, but it's kind of moment by moment, and then all of a sudden you realize you do know, you absolutely know, yeah, and then not share it with another because that's where it just goes.


    Lesley Logan 18:23  

    Oh, yeah! I guess that's true. I think that's so interesting, right? I love the idea of just you're saying just sit down, just be still, just quiet your mind. Do I need a journal? All these. Lesley, can you just sit with yourself because


    Jamie Lerner 18:35  

    Sit with some coffee, you know?


    Lesley Logan 18:37  

    Right, because it's going back to that almost like a boredom. We're so used to entertaining ourselves at a red light. People are scrolling because they can't even sit with themselves at a red light. You know, they have to be doing something. And so the idea of just sitting with yourself and asking the question and opening the loop in the brain because you're right, it's in there.


    Jamie Lerner 18:59  

    It's absolutely in there.


    Lesley Logan 19:01  

    So, how the people who I and I want to highlight: don't go tell people. And I think people find that harsh and weird, but like they're keeping a secret. But the reality is, is like a lot of us have people in our lives who are afraid any knowing of ourselves might change how their relationship with us. That's not what they consciously think. I think, but I know that's what it's kind of happening. So then they put doubts and fears in our minds, or they question it because they don't get it. 


    Jamie Lerner 19:27  

    But it's not for them to get, and that's the whole point. This is all for you about you, and it has nothing to do with another person, no matter if it's a husband or a child. Or this is only for you. Your chance to reconnect with your inner knowing, inner being, which is your birthright, and it's all there. But it's really not for another, and it's never about another. If you are feeling upset about something, it's not about another. And you know, have questions about that? What are you feeling upset about? It's not your friend. It's it's never about another, and that's really hard for people to understand. 


    Lesley Logan 20:11  

    It is hard, Jamie, because then they can't blame how their bad day was on someone else. Well, they could, they could, but what what I'm saying is absolutely not true, and it's not even possible. People don't have that much power that we give them to excuse ourselves from connecting, which is what we do. We give people power that they don't even have. Oh my gosh! Do we learn that from our parents? Do we learn that from modeling? Do we learn that from you know what I mean? Because I watch. I have a niece and some nephews, and they watch them and how they see the world. And you're just look at that, and you're just, I hope that never changes. You're like, well, somehow along the way, it's gonna. And so, and then you see people who are adults who are just going for it. Wow, you no one stopped that light, or maybe, or and they overcame it. But do do you think it's learned from if a if a parent (inaudible).


    Jamie Lerner 21:01  

    I think it doesn't matter, and I think the most important thing is to let everyone off the hook. It really doesn't matter where it came from, and it's all around us all the time. But you start to feel really good when you are able to have these inner conversations with yourself about yourself, and really feel like you know who you are because you do. Once again, you are your own greatest resource. Nobody else knows for you, even though you, not meaning you, but the people that feel like they don't know for themselves are the very people telling everybody else what to do.


    Lesley Logan 21:38  

    They are.


    Jamie Lerner 21:39  

    Okay, but do you know what to do yourself? No, you just are going to tell everyone else what to do. Well, you don't know those other people. Yeah, I mean, it's you got to laugh, and it's laughable in a good way. You're not mocking yourself or judging yourself. You're just becoming very curious, and as we become curious about ourselves, it lightens the whole topic.


    Lesley Logan 22:04  

    I okay. I love that you said it doesn't even matter where it comes from because that goes back. It doesn't matter what's in the back. We don't need that. We actually just have to move forward and give ourselves permission to have this loving curiosity. And I do love the laughter thing. This is a slightly different topic, but I think we can go here. I have this wonderful group of women come on a retreat to my house in Cambodia, and within I don't know two hours of us hanging out, I'd heard "I'm sorry" so many times. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And I was, okay. We have to stop saying "I'm sorry." I can't do seven weekdays of "I'm sorry." You, there's nothing to be sorry about. You are allowed to be here. You're allowed. So we are just gonna so I we started screaming at each other anytime someone said "I'm sorry," we started screaming, "Not helpful!" So it's like, it's like laughing. You have to laugh at it because it was, you have to break the thing. You didn't mean to trip on her. You could say excuse me, but I'm, you're not, you don't have to be sorry. You know, it's like this weird habit that we have, just because in the apologizing for taking up space, you know, which makes it harder for you to have loving curiosity because you don't feel like you even should be here.


    Jamie Lerner 23:09  

    Yes, and I think that's so helpful that when you are all together, you say something that interrupts that belief or that pattern, or you know, and I think mostly it's just you don't even know you're saying I'm sorry. Yeah.


    Lesley Logan 23:26  

    So it's like a great, great interruption. Yeah, I think I like it better than the laugh. I like the laughter for the other things. I can laugh to myself because I do. I do think that that's a great pattern interrupt, and I just want to laugh at other people. So I I'm glad you like that. So, you know, it's interesting, right? I'm thinking about some of the different people who have listened this podcast for a long time. People are in my life who are kind of stuck launching. It's interesting, right? Because we never want to tell people they should stop learning, but also there's they're always signing up for another thing, and that's the thing that's going to do it. And so, I guess, how do you know that what you keep doing is actually taking you and launching you versus keeping you in in where you are? You know, I don't know if that question makes sense at all. 


    Jamie Lerner 24:08  

    Yes, and and I think that that alignment is so important. So thoughts and feelings is one, and when we're in alignment with something, then it feels effortless, and it's something that we are really feel inspired by, and it's the feeling of being inspired because you are being inner-led back to yourself about something that you feel really passionate about or really good about, and you haven't discussed with another, and then it feels effortless. It's not something that you have to force. It's not something that you have to seek. You just know, and then you take inspired action.


    Lesley Logan 24:53  

    Oh, it's so interesting, Jamie, that you say all those things. So that's true. It's like those things where you, wow, that just kind of fell into place. We have those things that just fall into place versus those things. Why can't I get this thing going? Or why don't I want? Why am I not signing up for that thing? It's probably you don't want to do the thing.


    Jamie Lerner 25:10  

    That's just called resistance. So you know, and at that point, you realize that it's good to just excuse yourself from it and step back until you can get into alignment with what it is that you think that you want to take action about.


    Lesley Logan 25:25  

    What do you do if getting to alignment feels like the biggest life change that you're not necessarily ready to make? I'll say I'm thinking of a couple listeners, but I'll just use my own self as an example. I remember in 2011, 2012, having the thought, like, I need to get out of the relationship I was in. Well, to do that meant I need a new apartment. I'm gonna pay more rent. I have all these different things, and so I knew the alignment shift I needed to make. But it felt scary and overwhelming, and almost like I didn't have the right tools. And so I had the excuse of going, "Well, I don't have the money, and it's not that bad, and I'll just figure it out. Do you know what I mean?" There's a lot of people who can feel that they're out of alignment, but getting to alignment just feels you're blowing your life up.


    Jamie Lerner 26:06  

    So, what actually happened that allowed you to shift?


    Lesley Logan 26:10  

    I think what actually happened allowed me to shift is a bit more time recognizing the resources that I had. I had to see that. That was the opportunity. I got into a place. I was, "Oh, I actually can't afford to do this."


    Jamie Lerner 26:23  

    Then when that came to be for you, was it easy to shift out of the relationship?


    Lesley Logan 26:29  

    Yeah, I mean, and also I'll say is things blew up all around me. People listen my podcast. It was that time I ended up in a car accident, so my car was totaled, and then the studio I rented from everything. They were like, "We're no longer going to be here." So I have to find a new place to work and a new place to live and a new car. And I actually did it with laughter, and it actually all just fell into place just fine. 


    Jamie Lerner 26:53  

    Because there was no more resistance. 


    Lesley Logan 26:54  

    Yeah, thank God. I mean, I don't know if I would have done that if it had happened while I was still with the person, but it happened after I made this decision, and I was, "Well, I guess this is how it's gonna go." So yeah.


    Jamie Lerner 27:04  

    So I love procrastination. I think procrastination is our friend because it gives us time to get into alignment with the task at hand. And so if someone asks me to do something and it just doesn't feel right to me, I usually say to them, "Let me think about that and get back to you." And then until I'm really ready, going back and forth could be moment by moment, day by day, to either excuse myself from the request or to really feel like, okay, I can do this. I don't commit to anything, and I think that that is really important because when we do make decisions based on what people's expectations are of us, it's not a good outcome. But when we're in a place where it just feels right, always a good outcome. So take your time. All you have is time.


    Lesley Logan 27:59  

    Wow. Well, Jamie, you make it seem like it's so easy, and the rest of us over here making it too hard. Why do we do that?


    Jamie Lerner 28:06  

    Because a lot of this stuff is common sense, and it is too easy. And women, especially, make it overly complicated because we have need to make everything overly complicated. Yeah.


    Lesley Logan 28:18  

    Well, why do we need to? We probably don't need to. We think we do.


    Jamie Lerner 28:22  

    We don't need to. But we, I would say, we unconsciously choose to.


    Lesley Logan 28:30  

    It probably goes back to, I don't know. Maybe it goes back to the feeling of worthiness and deserving, right? Because sometimes that alignment means taking up more space than you have before, or making bold moves, and so then you have to overly complicate it to have this reason of why you're going to do it. I had to people when I left my partner like why, and I was, "Oh, I didn't realize people were going to ask why. I guess I should have seen that coming," and I didn't have. I—it just wasn't. We just weren't right for each other, and that was not a good enough excuse for anyone. "Did he cheat?" No. "Did you fight?" Not a lot. I just didn't have it. So I think sometimes we think it needs to be complicated, and then we so therefore we make it complicated.


    Jamie Lerner 29:12  

    This is absolutely true. But when you're just connected to yourself, you just know, and so you don't need to consult other people. And if someone asks a question and you feel so good about saying it just didn't feel right because it didn't feel right, there are no more questions after that. So when you know for yourself, you just know, and you don't attract the answers that you would get otherwise, or the questions, no one says anything because you're so clear about what you're doing, and you're not asking them for their opinion or commentary. So if you get that, you could just say, "Well, thank you so much, and now I'm going to excuse myself."


    Lesley Logan 29:56  

    Jamie, you paint this. You make it, not that life is easy, but you make it sound like if we could just be in our knowing and alignment, we could have a much easier.


    Jamie Lerner 30:11  

    Yes, life would be so fun, and then we could create anything for ourselves and we could be in relationships with people that were unconditional, and I mean, I have friends. I know they're late all the time, and I choose to go to lunch with them, knowing that they're going to be late, and I'm on time or early all the time. But you know, at a certain point, if it bothers me, then I don't go to lunch with them anymore. But am I going to be upset with who they are? I don't think so. They're consistently who they are, and I am who I am, and that's a nice place to meet people where they are, allowing them to be who they are feels good.


    Lesley Logan 30:49  

    It does feel good, and it's, so, I actually have found because I used to have clients who are late all the time, and they'd always apologize, and I just go, "Here's a deal: you pay for this time to this time. There's someone before you. There's someone after you. So I'm just going to do my thing. Don't apologize to me anymore because I don't want to hear it. And if you only want the 45 minutes, then that's all you want, and so you don't even have to apologize to yourself. But if you want more, you can ask yourself why you're so late all the time. But that's on you to figure it out." And you know what? Some people were just stayed late because that's all they wanted.


    Jamie Lerner 31:18  

    That's who they are. Yeah, not even like that. Just people who are late are late everywhere they go.


    Lesley Logan 31:24  

    Yeah.


    Jamie Lerner 31:25  

    For everything. It's not just for you or your class, and that's okay.


    Lesley Logan 31:29  

    Yeah. Well, and that's just to your point. It was that's what you want, and so I don't feel anything towards you, and so you don't have to worry about—you don't have to apologize because I don't feel like I'm gonna have 15 minutes every single time I have you on my calendar to catch up. 


    Jamie Lerner 31:43  

    So in my other life, my husband would make coffee in an espresso maker, and he—I put the cup there, I start the machine, I turn around, and there before it's even finished or a full cup, he'd pull the cup out, and I'd be like, "Why are you cheating yourself?" And he, "What are you talking about? Why are you cheating yourself out of a full cup of coffee? Why?" And he was, "I don't know." But you know, to frame it that way is true. But he didn't really see it like that. He just saw he didn't feel like waiting. He was impatient, but actually cheating himself out of full cup of coffee. 


    Lesley Logan 32:23  

    Yeah, well, and that's, and to your point, even if that's not how they see it, or if that's how they're always late, it doesn't have to be my responsibility to fix that. We just get to focus on ourselves.


    Jamie Lerner 32:37  

    I think that is always the best thing. Yes.


    Lesley Logan 32:40  

    Jamie, can we do that without being narcissists, though? 


    Jamie Lerner 32:43  

    That is not, narcissists are completely disconnected from themselves. Okay, there's no connection at all. And narcissism is something that affects so many other people. You taking care of yourself and being clear with what you want and who you are, it doesn't affect anyone because the clarity in itself is such a relief for people. Yeah, it really is. You show up differently. You show up in such a way where you're so comfortable in your own skin that it allows people to just take a breath and relax. There's no judgment. There's no expectation. It just, it feels good to be around people who are not in their ego and are just comfortable with themselves.


    Lesley Logan 33:29  

    Yeah, I agree. I know those people, and I love being around them. And there's the people who are not like that. And you're like, "I have to close off my energy box because I.


    Jamie Lerner 33:36  

    But you don't because you're not affected by them. You understand that that's just who they are, and that is absolutely okay. And to think that everybody wants what you have is a big mistake. Most people don't want it. They don't want anything to do with being connected and happy, and they just don't. And that's okay. And we have to allow those people to just be who they are. I mean, it's okay. 


    Lesley Logan 34:02  

    Oh, Jamie. Well, that's a whole other topic, but yes, we do, and also because focusing on them would take us out of...


    Jamie Lerner 34:10  

    alignment and out of connection. 


    Lesley Logan 34:12  

    Yes. Yeah. Okay. So, for the people who are worried that people are going to think they're selfish for taking the time, because you know they have the people in their lives who are going to tell them, "Oh, if you've changed, you feel more selfish now because you're not selfish. You just are more aligned, which means you've probably changed how you engage with them or the time you give them. They'll be babies. They'll be baby connected, baby knowing people. So how do they handle that? Because you mentioned, like, you'll be so sure, and it's just going to be like that. But I just, oh, but there's that. You're like a new baby bird with your knowing and your alignment. How do we help them if someone tries to take it away with that selfish?


    Jamie Lerner 34:50  

    Well, it's just the opposite because when we nourish and nurture ourselves, we are more available to all others, whether it's vibration, physically, emotionally, because we have nourished ourselves, we have connected with ourselves, and then our ability to give is unconditional. We are more present with other people, and to be more present with other people, some of those people get uncomfortable. They are not used to being with someone who's so present, but it's a lovely feeling. It's almost like you can be with someone and not say a word, but you can feel them, and it feels good. And that is true connection with self and others.


    Lesley Logan 35:36  

    Oh gosh, Jamie, I feel like this took like a master class.


    Jamie Lerner 35:42  

    All these things are so simple.


    Lesley Logan 35:44  

    Yeah.


    Jamie Lerner 35:45  

    I mean, these are so many basic things.


    Lesley Logan 35:50  

    I mean, that's the thing, right? Because in the world we live in today with social media, they're going to give you the 17-point journal with the addendum, and then the three-hour workshop with the 152 calls, and so people are told it's supposed to be hard, but it's, you’re making it...


    Jamie Lerner 36:07  

    be fun and easy and quick, very quick. I mean, for me, my most successful clients are the ones that I don't need to be there to assist them anymore. They got it, and you know what? They do got it.


    Lesley Logan 36:25  

    Yeah, yeah. And we can all get it. We can just just. 


    Jamie Lerner 36:29  

    We want it.


    Lesley Logan 36:29  

    Yeah. Okay. Well, hat's the key. Well, that's just it, right? You have to. I think it's. I've read something about any change you want to make. You have to want it and believe it, and then commit to it, and so it's you got to actually do the thing.


    Jamie Lerner 36:45  

    But we don't have to commit to it.


    Lesley Logan 36:47  

    Okay.


    Jamie Lerner 36:47  

    We could just do moment by moment. Commitment is too much. It's too intimidating. It feels impossible. Yeah, just to have some kind of recognition of where you're at with yourself, moment by moment, and then it's the next moment. Maybe today wasn't a good day to connect with yourself, but maybe tomorrow will be better to be more forgiving of ourselves, to be more allowing of ourselves, to give ourselves more grace, let ourselves off the hook, but not let ourselves off the hook because we're blaming someone else. Those are two separate things.


    Lesley Logan 37:25  

    Right. I, okay, well, you've just blown the recovering perfectionist mindset. You can actually just want it and then have it and have it in the moment. And there could be a bad day, and you can just take yourself responsibility, and then you can just try again tomorrow or in another moment.


    Jamie Lerner 37:43  

    Right. Right? And there's no punishment for it. There's no perfection. It's just a moment, and then the next moment. And sometimes I'll allow myself to go down the rabbit hole. I'll say to myself, "Is this thought serving me? No. Am I going there? Yes, I am, because for whatever reason I need to do this. Okay." And then I can see clearly. I'm okay now. I can pull myself out of the rabbit hole, and on some level that was very satisfying. But do I need to do it tomorrow? No.


    Lesley Logan 38:15  

    Jamie. Thank you for that. Because I'm, wow, I don't have to be a monk either. I can just, I can entertain the rabbit hole, but I love what you did. Acknowledge that's what you're doing, ask yourself if you need it, and then go past, get past it. No judgment on it.


    Jamie Lerner 38:33  

    (inaudible) is to blame someone else for sending you down the rabbit hole.


    Lesley Logan 38:37  

    God, yeah. Well, yes. So I'm taking away from this just the sitting still, that's for sure, and then also it's not about, I'm not going to blame the email that came at the wrong time or the person who didn't do the thing I told them. None of that. It's all my own responsibility and the kindness to myself. Because of that, I will continue to show up differently, and people will be affected by that in a positive way around that. And then if something, if they, if I went down a rabbit hole, I cannot blame that it was this person. I have to go, "I took myself down the rabbit hole."


    Jamie Lerner 39:09  

    Yes, and that feels good. It's too good to be responsible for yourself, to have personal responsibility. I love to be wrong. I love when I'm wrong. I do, because I get to learn something about myself. So when I am wrong, I am the first person to raise my hand and say, "You know what? I was wrong." And I am really in this moment learning something about myself, and that's fantastic.


    Lesley Logan 39:33  

    So cool, Jamie! You're so cool. I could talk to you forever. I feel like we need to listen to your words just a few more times. You know, so we're gonna take a brief break and find out what people can find you, follow you, work with you. Because, you know, I think a few of us might need more than one time hearing this. All right, Jamie, where can they do you? Do you do coaching? Do you have sessions? Do you have a book? Like, where can they get your information support? 


    Jamie Lerner 40:00  

    I have a website. It's www.jamie-lerner.com and everything is on there. And it's all so clear that there's not one single question anyone needs to ask me about how you pay, what happens if you, I mean, it's all there. And I have a great service called The Quickie, a lovely texting option, which is my favorite service of all, and I came out with it before COVID, and it worked perfectly because people had to move in with each other. Some people had to move home. There was no privacy, but you just buy a package of time and you text with me, and I text back with you, and lo and behold, you realize you knew the answer the whole time, but it's a great service. It's a book. It's old, but it's not old. It's really timeless, and it's available on Amazon. And it's called "The Ever Loving Essence of You" and it's just a very nice resource for yourself about yourself.


    Lesley Logan 41:04  

    I love this. I love that. I love the, what a genius idea of the texting because it's such a quick hit and a quick reminder, and you can do it in a moment, and you don't have to set up a call because by the time the call comes around, I forgot why I wanted the call.


    Jamie Lerner 41:19  

    And the other thing is too, people talk about how they feel in the moment, but the next moment they don't even remember. After texting, they can go back and read how they felt and what they thought, and then they realize, like, yeah, I really knew this all along.


    Lesley Logan 41:35  

    What a service. 


    Jamie Lerner 41:36  

    It is good, very self-empowering for people.


    Lesley Logan 41:39  

    I love that you are a gem. You have given us, by the way, we could just tell people go back and listen. But I do love my bold, executable, intrinsic, or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it. What tips do you have for us?


    Jamie Lerner 41:53  

    Know yourself, love yourself, trust yourself, and laugh along with yourself.


    Lesley Logan 42:01  

    Great. Yeah, great. This is a repeater. I think this is just a really nice go back and be reminded because I feel for the first time you've made knowing yourself a little less complicated, and we don't have to set aside 17 minutes to go through a journal that's got side five questions. You could just take a dose of time and sit still with yourself. And we have moments where we can do that throughout any day, even a busy one. Jamie, thank you so much. You guys, you better send this to a friend who needs to hear it. Because if you know yourself and they know yourself, imagine all of the gifts that is going to be in the time you spend with the people around you. So please share this. Tell Jamie Lerner what your favorite part was. Tag the Be It Pod. Let us know. And until next time, well, get to know yourself and then Be It Till You See It. 


    Lesley Logan 42:49  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


    Brad Crowell 43:32  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your hosts, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 43:37  

    It is transcribed, produced, and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


    Brad Crowell 43:41  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. 


    Lesley Logan 43:48  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. 


    Brad Crowell 43:51  

    Also to Angelina Herrico for adding all of our content to our website, and finally to Meredith Rood for keeping us all on point and on time.



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    44m - Sep 29, 2026
  • 738. When Frustrating Tech Experience Teaches You to Trust Yourself

    Getting told the problem is user error when you know it is not is a special kind of frustrating. Lesley Logan takes listeners through a baffling computer glitch she experienced, a Genius Bar visit that went sideways, and what she ended up buying as a real fix for long haul flights. Celebrate with her twelve years of YouTube growth, a listener who survived two tough classes, and a mantra for treating yourself with kindness. This episode is a reminder that trusting your own experience counts as a win.


    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.


    In this episode you will learn about:

    • The podcast reaches an incredible milestone of over 740 episodes.
    • Why frustrating customer service ruined a simple tech appointment.
    • Upgrade travel comfort using noise canceling headphones on long flights.
    • Consistency pays off after twelve years of YouTube channel growth.
    • Conquering tough fitness classes proves you can handle hard challenges.


    Episode References/Links:

     

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

    DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

    Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

    Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

    Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

    Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

    FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/


    Resources:


    Follow Us on Social Media:

     

    Episode Transcript:

    Lesley Logan 0:00  

    It's Fuck Yeah Friday. 


    Brad Crowell 0:01  

    Fuck yeah! 


    Lesley Logan 0:02  

    Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 


    Lesley Logan 0:47  

    Be It, babe. Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It podcast. Oh my God, guys, we are slaying through episodes more than 740. So I mean, this is insane. I can't believe we're going to be on 800 before we know it, but anyways, that's not our win. That's not it. All right. So on Fridays, it's real talk. It's real life chat with me. I'm just chatting with myself, and hopefully you're enjoying it. And then I share one of mine and one of yours. And so, okay, remember my technology pissy moments a couple months ago. So I've had something happen in my computer three times that no one can explain, and I can show it to people. And Brad has seen it in real time, and it is the whole thing.


    Lesley Logan 1:27  

    But at any rate, my computer would be looking so great, and I would put the charger on. I wouldn't read that there was a charger there, and it'd be the appropriate before anyone tells me something. It's the appropriate type of charger for the computer, and it's plugged in appropriately to an outlet, and that outlet works. And then I've tried other outlets that I know work, and other chargers are the right size and the right currency and whatever, blah blah blah. And so, anyways, I made a Genius appointment. I made a Genius appointment, and I go and I explain to the guy, and the guy is looking at me like I'm a crazy person, and he is checking to make sure that my charging thing is clean and all this stuff. Basically, the long story example of is when your car makes a sound, you take a mechanic, and the sound doesn't work anymore. It's like that. So, of course, there's no way to recreate what happened. And of course, I didn't film myself having the problem that was happening. And next time I will because I felt like a crazy person. And then, of course, they go, "Oh, we'll help you early," only for the guy to go, "Oh, I'm getting off work now, so you have to wait for this other person." And then the other person was just, I think he's. This is really a user error experience. User error. This is not my first MacBook. I know what the fuck I'm doing. I know how chargers work. Do you know who my husband is?


    Lesley Logan 2:34  

    So, anyways, while waiting in purgatory for my computer to reboot and whatever I was going to do, I will say that I did treat myself to headphones I didn't need, but I guess my event is I just think that computer technicians, mechanics, everyone should just be trained in. God, that really sucks. I don't see why that's happening. And what I will say is maybe next time, why don't you do these three things? Because it sounds like you actually are doing all the right things, so would you film it next time and then come back because we can see what's going on? Because we can't see it in the technology. There's nothing. The computer's not telling us anything, and it sounds like you're doing everything right. Blow smoke up my ass. That would be great. Just tell me I did everything right, and what to do next time it happens. And then, even though they didn't do that, did I buy something I didn't need? Fuck yeah, I did, and I am really excited about it. I'm really excited about it. In fact, it probably come a win later on.


    Lesley Logan 3:25  

    But I bought myself these headphones that they also said you don't need those because you have the AirPod Three Pros, and I was, yeah, but they're not noise canceling enough, and you don't understand. Last year I was, this is how dramatic I do sound dramatic. If waterboarding could be a baby's cry, right? That's what it was for 15 hours on a flight. And my AirPods, now they weren't the Three Pros; they were the two. At any rate, they cut. They did nothing. Zero, nothing. I even put a sweatshirt hoodie over me. I tried everything. 17 hours of flight, 15 hours of nonstop crying. So I bought these things. I didn't need. This is not my win, but they also didn't want to sell me that. People don't know what you're talking about. I put them on while the landscaper was doing his leaf blower outside my office, and I barely heard it. I'm gonna tell you right now. I'm gonna have the best flights to Asia. I have three in Q4, three, and I'm gonna have the best ones, all because my computer did something stupid that they couldn't figure out. So my computer actually, my computer was looking out for me. Maybe I shouldn't yell at it so much. Anyways, okay. Thanks for going that journey with me.


    Lesley Logan 4:11  

    My win is my YouTube, my YouTube channel growth. Oh my God, you guys! I don't know if you know this, but my YouTube channel has been a real time, 12-year Be It Till You See It. I didn't ever want to do it. I would get nervous every time I'd film the videos. I would cry during some of the times because you don't even understand. 12 years ago, you couldn't even afford a tripod. My young friends who are listening couldn't even afford a tripod. That was $175 or $125, and even then, it was hard to find the thing would hold the iPhone because you didn't film. Your iPhones. You film with a DSLR. Wow, I didn't even know I would pull those letters out of my mouth. And so we didn't have lights. We didn't have microphones. Oh my God, a microphone so expensive. So, anyways, I used to just yell at the camera. But here we are, 12 years later, and in the last couple months, the channel has been growing so much, and I really have that that win is a collective community effort because I have several people on the team who help me make this magic happen. I met an incredible expert consultant who gave me some really great tips, and I'm so grateful for him. And I'm just grateful for all of you for subscribing to it and being part of it. So it's not the podcast YouTube channel; it's the OPC YouTube channel. Although you can subscribe to the podcast YouTube channel and tell me how you like it. If you like watching the videos, I recognize that I don't look at the camera most of the time on this because I just look around the room because I don't know ADHD is real and it's hard to look at a green dot all day. But at any rate, my online Pilates classes YouTube channel's growth has been so wonderfully organic, beautiful, and it's just nice to see that the work I'm putting out there is something that's helping you and the people are sharing with their friends, and I'm grateful. I'm grateful. I'm grateful. I'm grateful. And if you have yet not subscribed to that, and you want to support this podcast and me, subscribe to my YouTube channel. That's a great way to do it. All right, thank you. That's my win. 


    Lesley Logan 6:16  

    Okay, your win. Ready? @lakesaintlouisliving I did two Pilates classes at two different studios with two tough instructors, and I didn't die. I love it. That's a great win. That's a great win. Brad just did a Pilates session with me today, and he didn't die because you want to know something. You're not going to die. It's going to be hard. Might be uncomfortable, but you're going to find something new in yourself, and you're not going to die. And then that is practice that you can do hard things. See, Pilates is helping you practice. If you don't die during that, you're not going to die in other things. So there you go. Challenge yourself. I love that.


    Lesley Logan 6:49  

    All right, let's get you a mantra and get you on your weekend. I treat myself with kindness and understanding. I treat myself with kindness and understanding. Oh, do you do that? Do you feel a cognitive dissonance? Is that what you have to Be It Till You See It this week? Treat myself with kindness and understanding. Love you so much, Be It, babe. Thank you so much for supporting this podcast any way you can. Subscribing to our OPC YouTube channel, subscribing to OPC, or buying flashcards. We it means the world to us. And by the way, when you buy those flashcards, it supports the Nevada SPCA as well. So look at you supporting so many people with just one action. You are awesome. Go Be It Till You See It.


    Lesley Logan 7:25  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


    Brad Crowell 8:09  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 8:13  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


    Brad Crowell 8:18  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


    Lesley Logan 8:25  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


    Brad Crowell 8:28  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



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    8m - Sep 25, 2026
  • 737. You Have to Know What Success Means to You

    Part one of the comparison series exposed how fast somebody else's goals become your own. Part two is where you take them back. Lesley Logan makes the case that a standard set by your parents, social media, or a season you already left will always feel like falling short, no matter how much you get done. If you have ever hit the goal and still felt behind, this episode will help you build a definition of success that holds up even on a hard day.


    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.


    In this episode you will learn about:

    • The one word swap that changes what you chase all day.
    • How your season should set a fairer standard for success.
    • What burnout reveals about your current metric.
    • Three to five values that make your day easy to score.
    • The old measure of success to retire this week.


    Episode References/Links:

     

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

    DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

    Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

    Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

    Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

    Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

    FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/


    Resources:


    Follow Us on Social Media:

     

    Episode Transcript:

    Lesley Logan 0:00  

    You have to be it on your own terms before you'll ever see it in your life, whatever it is. Peace, love, true success is something that you're going to define. But also, we got to get there with a regulated nervous system. We can't be an exhausted, burnt out shell of ourselves.


    Lesley Logan 0:16  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.


    Lesley Logan 0:58  

    Hi, Be It babe. Welcome back to our series on comparison, comparisonitis. All right. So last episode, a couple days ago, we exposed our the borrowed scoreboards. We basically talked about how we often are using what our parents or our family or societal expectations are as our scoreboards, whether or not we're good enough person and we've had success. We often are trying to do old life stuff with new life stuff. Sometimes we've even borrowed other people's goals, thinking that that sounds good. I see a lot in business coaching that I do. People are doing something in their studio, and so someone else thinks they have to do it, and then they get stressed out and frustrated by it. But it's, well, that's not part of your business plan. So why did you think if you do it? Well, everyone's doing it. No, they are doing it. Not everyone is doing it. Everybody, there's a lot of reformer students out there. You don't see me thinking that that's a good idea. So, not that it's not, but it's not for me, right? So, and I'm very clear on that. So, I want you to have some that same sort of conviction when it comes to who you are and who you want to become and how you're going to get there. And it's not going to be by using other people's scoreboards and social media's expectations and societal pressures to be something else, because then you're just going to be what they want you to be, right? 


    Lesley Logan 2:07  

    I remember hearing this this line. Oh my God, it would have been like 2011, yeah, 11, and it was if you don't have goals that are clear and your goals, somebody else's goals will become your own. You will be working on towards something. It's either what you want to do or what someone else wants to do. Now, here's the deal: there are some people who love to be a backup babe. That's but that's not what I'm talking about here, right? We're talking about the person you want to become. So, we also in the last episode had some questions you did some homework on. Please make sure you've listened to that episode before coming to this one, because we are going to shift our focus from what looks good on paper to what actually feels sustainable. Some people might even think peaceful or useful, but mostly aligned for you right now. So I really hate the question, and I get it all the time. But what is your definition of success? And I'm really proud to say this. I feel very successful right now. Based on my definition of success, I am successful. I am kicking ass. I'm doing great things.


    Lesley Logan 3:09  

    Now that being said, I'm not done, but I think it's important that you are aware that if you are working towards the person you want to become in your way, and it's very clear, and you're using your own scoreboard, then at the end of this episode, you should be patting yourself on the back. You're very successful, right? But you have to know what success means to you. For me, it is doing the things that I want to do based on the impact I want to have, and prioritizing myself while I do that means I'm in control of my schedule and who and what I say yes or no to.


    Lesley Logan 3:35  

    And when I am out of that alignment, when I feel like I'm working on someone else's timeline or someone else's schedule, then I feel icky and gross, and I have to get back in alignment with my definition of success. But in this moment, majority of the time, I am very much a very successful person. So I need you to understand that for yourself. So go back to the last episode and do those questions if you haven't already.


    Lesley Logan 3:57  

    So first thing we're going to focus on in this episode is the more versus better. So I want you when you are in comparisonitis, or when you're working, when you're putting pressure on yourself to do more. I just need more clients, or I need more time to work out, or I need more of this, or more visibility, or I just need more sit, whatever, blah blah blah. Whenever you hear yourself saying more, I actually want you to pivot it to better. What would be a better client, a better night's sleep, a better fuel source, a better friendship, a better way of taking care of yourself? Not more, right? So instead of more clients, like better clients, instead of more set, it's it's deep relationships instead of more room. It is more spaciousness in my schedule, right? It is better scheduling, better time, better tools and resources.


    Lesley Logan 4:52  

    So replacing more with better, and I think this is really important, right? Because I think we all start to accumulate and we get on this thing and we end up with a bunch of gray shirts because I need more T-shirts. So then you buy some T-shirts and you get more ads for T-shirts, and so you buy more T-shirts and all of a sudden all the T-shirts show up and you whoa! I bought this. I bought a bunch of gray T-shirts. No, that didn't happen to you. I'm the only one who clicks a couple ads and forgot what I did the day before. Yeah, I didn't think so. So really, it's no. I need better quality T-shirts that actually look good after they are washed and look good on me, not just more of them, better ones, right? I know that we're talking about success, and I'm talking about T-shirts, but sometimes it's the easier example to use.


    Lesley Logan 5:29  

    And one of my girlfriends, we talk about this a lot. You know, I've been doing what I've been doing for a long time, so I get asked to do things all the time, and I don't need more big events. I need better ones. So when I am asked, invited, I am very intentional. Who is going to be at this thing? Is this an audience I haven't had access to yet? Is this a way that I can support and make my impact even bigger so that I am not just doing more of the same thing, but I'm doing it better? Got it? I think we got it. 


    Lesley Logan 6:01  

    All right. The next thing is redefining success by your season and your nervous system. So Brad Bizjack has this really cool thing that we all have the same seasons that are in the universe on this earth. We also have those seasons in our life. We have winter, spring, summer, fall. In fall, what do you do? You harvest. It's a harvesting season, right? In the winter, you cocoon in, you, bears sleep. Right, they hibernate, and then in the spring you're planting seeds and really making sure you set yourself up. In the summer you're vacationing. Right, so what is success by the season that you're in, and then also how does that feel? Because it is not success to me if you arrive at the destination of your goal and you're burnt out and you have anxiety and you don't want to do it anymore. 


    Lesley Logan 6:52  

    I've coached a lot of people in Agency who like tell me they want this thing, they go and get this thing, and then they're not happy, and it's really hard. We not go, why can't you just be happy? Like that you you got what you wanted, and all you're doing is finding other things that are wrong in that place. You know, they make big moves because they said that's what they wanted.


    Lesley Logan 7:09  

    They make the big move, and then they are finding bad things over there because there's bad things fucking everywhere, right? But understanding the season that you're in, and then defining the success for that. So if you are, I have a friend who's cocooning right now, and she apologized for something, and I was like, "Well, you are in hibernation. Why are you apologizing for not being able to talk? If you are bare in hibernation, we wouldn't be talking, right? And so I think it's just really, really important that you give yourself permission to be in the season that you're in, and then have a success definition for yourself.


    Lesley Logan 7:44  

    If you are in winter season, not literally necessarily, but mentally, emotionally, goal drivenness wise, you are hibernating. You've harvested. You've just done a lot of work. Then you actually cannot put yourself in a comparison place being in a spring. Cannot do that. You have to hibernate. So, what does hibernation mean to you? What does winter mean to you? If you're in spring in your life, then what do you want to get done in that season so that after your summer you can harvest? What does that look like? Does that look like educating yourself more on something, doing research? Does it look like planting some big seeds? What does that look like? What does that season look like? And then creating a definition of success for you that also allows you to feel safe in your body and get good sleep. You got to get good sleep. Cannot be successful tired. You will die. And the last thing is a practical execution because you know I don't like just good, fun, quippy sayings and inspiration if you can't take action on it. Hello, it is the be it. It's in the be it.


    Lesley Logan 8:52  

    So I need you to have practical execution. So I want you to choose three to five core values, and to measure your days by. I guess you have five, but you have to remember them all, so that you're not relying on vibes or external validation or accolades from other people. I want it to be something you can do this by, right? We've had different guests on who've talked about how at the end of the day they see, like, recap their day to see if they got 1% better. We have some people like Amy Ledin has her cards and she looks at what she did. Did she do the things that was on her card, but and those are great. Like that's kind of it. So you want to have three to five core values that you want to live by each and every day, and then you want to measure your days by that.


    Lesley Logan 9:30  

    So if you say that you have a value of integrity, and you look at your day, and you actually did something that was out of integrity for you, then it's not a time to shame yourself. It's a time to understand. Oh, okay. How can I change that tomorrow? So I'm back in integrity. If you have a value of authenticity, but you found yourself doing things and picking colors based on someone else's branding or pictures or whatever, that is not very authentic, is it? So if authenticity is one of your values, and you look at your day and you realize, wow, you were invited to do something. It would not be authentic for you to say yes to that thing, and you said no. Holy fuck, can you score yourself so high that day, right?


    Lesley Logan 10:09  

    If being integrity is actually doing the thing that you said you would do, and even though there's all these different things that were trying to get to you, but you did the thing that you said you're going to do, even if you feel so tired, you can go, but I did it. I did the thing I said, and I didn't go out of integrity. And yes, life lifed, and I blah blah blah. But I was in integrity, right? So there's just different. I think we just have to be kinder to ourselves, and we can only be kind if we're actually aware of how the rubric that we're scoring ourselves off of. So three to five core values.


    Lesley Logan 10:37  

    If you don't have, if you don't know what your core values are, there's oh my gosh! There's a really good. Just Google 30 core values. Okay, I think James Spark has a sheet on the internet, and you can take a look at this list. Okay, I mean you could just pick the three to five that really stand out to you. Sometimes you'll pick two that are the same. I would actually say and have an integrity and authenticity could be layered, and one of them might be more the word that you're looking for by the definition that you're using, but having core values is good. And if you, I don't know how to pick them. I was like 10 words that I like.


    Lesley Logan 11:08  

    Okay, so then this is what you do: you take your Be It Till You See It life, who you want to be, right? And you are gonna write down things that people say about that person, the version of you you want to be, and then you're going to write down three things you achieved as that person. Write that down. Then I want you to look at the core value list, and I want you to apply a core value to the things people said about the Be It Till You See It version of you and the wins you had when you got to that success. And you will see, oh whoa, these are the things that mean the most to me. And you will just put them down.


    Lesley Logan 11:40  

    At OPC, we have consistency, we have communication, transparency, authenticity, and so it's how we operate, and it's also how our members can know that these are the values we have, and if you have these values, you belong here too. If you have all the same values, we have a couple, right? But these are really, really important because we often go off vibes, and that just doesn't work. I do this all the time. We have a meeting every month about the financial state of our business, and it's because it's too easy to go off vibes, way too easy to go, well, this didn't go as well as I thought, and this didn't go as well as I thought. Then go, whoa, we actually had a great month. So why am I being hard on myself? Oh, because I'm comparing myself to someone else, my old rubric, and I didn't go off the data, not helpful, not helpful, babe. So choose three to five core values that you can measure your days by. 


    Lesley Logan 12:27  

    Okay, it'll also help you understand how to do things in your day. I can't wait to see how you use this because I do think this is a really cool thing that I found in my research for this. And I actually think, especially when you're in comparisonitis, maybe don't do this every day, but if you find yourself in a comparison season of life, this might be the best way to get yourself out of it. So here is your action step this week: just pick one metric of your old scoreboard that you are officially retiring and replace it with a value that protects your piece. So go look at your four to five core values, which one can you replace that old metric by so you can protect your inner peace because you have to be it on your own terms before you'll ever see it in your life, whatever it is. Peace, love, true success is something that you're going to define, but also we got to get there with a regulated nervous system. We can't be an exhausted, burnt out shell of ourselves.


    Lesley Logan 13:19  

    No one says when I my Be It Till I See It, babe. My Be It, babe. That I am looking towards and taking action as if I'm already her is dead and tired. No one is saying that. So becoming the woman who honors her own version of success and saying you're firmly in your choices, even when no one understands your timeline, and that is hard. I know that I disappoint and piss off a lot of people in my personal life, and I'm okay with that because when I do show up with them, I'm the version of me that I want to be around them. It's listening and present and supportive, and it's hard to do.


    Lesley Logan 13:55  

    I guess I wouldn't say I piss, but I probably frustrate them. I'm probably sure they want more. Anyways, your reflection questions: More versus better. So I love this. I hope you did too. So where are you chasing more, more, more, more, more, more? And what could, what would be a better replacement? Is it better, better boundaries, higher quality, that kind of thing? Okay. Next metric is in your last achievement? Did reaching that goal leave you feeling safe and spacious, or fried and anxious? So, if you look at your last achievement, if when the time you got there you couldn't even celebrate because you're so tired, we have to redefine your metric. That is a big sign. Hey, but if you got there and you were so excited you could celebrate and be there and enjoy it, good job. Keep that metric. 


    Lesley Logan 14:42  

    Now, the next thing I want you to look at is, in the current season you're in, what are you allowing success to look like? And then, looking at five or 10 years ago, what was the definition you're off operating off of? If it's the same, my love, I promise you, you're in a different season. And so you could probably immediately take some pressure off your shoulders. So redefine. And lastly, what are your three internal values that would help you to know if today was successful? Make sure you put them on a Post-it. Make sure you start your day looking at that. Make sure you write down action steps you can take to get there. Comparison does suck, but it's also not terrible. And so, what I will say, because I said in the first episode, it's often just a highlighter, a flashlight, a magnifying glass, a little beep beep beep beep beep.


    Lesley Logan 15:33  

    There's something about this that you want, whether it's a vibe, emotion, a value, an impact. There's something that you want, and it's hard to Be It Till We See It. If we can't see the thing that we want, even if it's not the exact thing, I can look at a friend of mine and I can see the ease at which she does some things. I don't actually want to do the thing she's doing, but I can see that ease. And if I hadn't seen that, I wouldn't have known that I actually want that in my life, as I do the thing that I'm doing, right? Does that make sense? So please don't shame yourself if you do compare. Market research is important, but if you are feeling like you're going into a spiral, if comparison is high, then you got to get clear on who you are, what you want to be, and the values that you want to live by to get there.


    Lesley Logan 16:25  

    Be It babe, I hope this is helpful for you. I hope this took the inspiration that a lot of our guests have given us and helped you put it into place where you can apply it to your life today. And I would love to hear what your takeaways are. So please tag the Be It Pod, share the series with a friend who needs to hear it. Maybe you guys can answer these questions together and support each other, and hold each other accountable. And if you have a topic you would like me to go into, if you have questions based on this that I could maybe do some other episodes on, please send them into beitpod.com/questions. And then lastly, to support this podcast, thank you so much for listening. Every download supports this podcast, including the ones your friends do. Reviews help too, and being an OPC member really truly helps this podcast. It's how this podcast is powered. Thank you so much, and until next time, Be It Till You See It. 


    Lesley Logan 17:06  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


    Brad Crowell 17:49  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 17:54  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


    Brad Crowell 17:58  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


    Lesley Logan 18:05  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


    Brad Crowell 18:08  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    18m - Sep 25, 2026
  • 736. Why Are You Scoring Yourself on Someone Else’s Scoreboard

    Part one of a two-part series on self comparison opens with the hard truth that most people are not behind at all. Lesley Logan traces the borrowed scoreboards we inherit from parents, from past versions of ourselves, and from a social feed built entirely of highlight reels. She unpacks a goal she once wrote down that was never actually hers, and why envy works better as a diagnostic tool than a verdict.


    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.


    In this episode you will learn about:

    • Letting go of what no longer serves instead of accumulating more.
    • Why feeling behind at thirty said nothing about actually being behind.
    • Envy read as a highlight of what matters, not a judgment.
    • How a goal written on a Lululemon worksheet was never actually hers.
    • Four homework questions to answer before the radical success audit.


    Episode References/Links:

     

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    Episode Transcript:

    Lesley Logan 0:00  

    I really do want you to stop outsourcing your metrics of happiness because you are comparing yourself on data that isn't the right data you need to get to where you want to go.


    Lesley Logan 0:11  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.


    Lesley Logan 0:54  

    Hey, Be It babe, welcome, welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast. Today we're talking about self-comparison, and ooh, I don't know if you were raised on this line, but I was raised on self-comparison is a thief of joy. I guess they didn't have the self part. The comparison is a thief of joy, and you know what? It fucking is. So here's the deal: if you have ever looked at someone else's life online or in your community and felt this immediate sinking pit in your stomach telling you that you are behind, or you just see something, and you're just, "Why them? How do they get that?" I feel that for you. I really, really do. I heard a woman say this beautiful line at a talk the other day, and I'm going to have her on the podcast. She is scheduled, so we will have an episode with her, and we'll probably talk about this deeper. But she had said this, like, hit me. She said, "If comparison is high, clarity is low," and I think if that's all you get out of this episode, then I will, then I've done my job. But today we are going to break down the hard truth. You're probably not behind at all, right? And you know this, you know. But let's talk about why are you scoring yourself on someone else's scoreboard? Because that's what comparison is, right? 


    Lesley Logan 1:58  

    When we compare yourself to somebody else, it's just like we're using someone else's life and their scoreboard and going, "We are behind," but really, you're in your own fucking game. So this first part. So on Thursday we'll have a second part. We're gonna just talk about comparison and do a radical success audit because I really do want you to stop outsourcing your metrics of happiness because you are comparing yourself on data that isn't the right data you need to get to where you want to go. This is called "Be It Till You See It," right? If you are using the wrong metrics to "Be It Till You See It," you're going to end up being on someone else's costume. It's going to be, don't even know what that is. "Be it till you are in their clothes." That's not going to work. So here's the deal: I am a 43-year-old woman who is talking to you right now, and oh my god, I think I was a 43-year-old in a child's body my whole life. Maybe not that old, but I definitely couldn't wait to be at the next level in the next stage. And I definitely compared myself to so many people. Being young was so hard. I was so hard on myself because, first of all, I didn't have a lot of money when I grew up, and all my friends really did. At least, if they didn't, it seemed like they did because they went to Disneyland before I could. They had cars when they were 16. I had to buy mine, right? Like there's all these just different things that they're so. Oh my god! I was in the AP classes, and these people were so smart. My B plus was the hardest work of life that I could get. My A minuses were, and they came so easy to them. Came so easy, right? And so I remember going to college, and everybody was like finding their husbands and getting married. And I was really proud to not get married in college.


    Lesley Logan 3:30  

    I mean, because one, my college was super expensive, and two, I'm, thank God, I didn't marry those men, I would have been divorced very quickly, and I probably would have had a life I didn't want to really have a hard time. So, but I do remember after 30, my 30th birthday. I remember just feeling, "Wow, I'm behind. I am behind." Because even though I knew I didn't want kids and that kind of thing, I wasn't married. In fact, I was broken up. I broke up with my partner, and I was semi-homeless, and I had to start over with my studio and blah blah blah, and I just felt behind. Wow, you know. And then it felt every single month of not being in a relationship with the right person was now I'm not going to get married at least until I'm 31. Then it's, you know what I mean, like. And then I just remember feeling I didn't have it all locked down, and I think a lot of women feel that way at a young age, whether or not you want to have children.


    Lesley Logan 4:24  

    There's this thing we've got to get this stuff done early, and as we know, that's not true. But it doesn't mean that it still doesn't feel true, right? It doesn't. It feels true. And there's also the idea, you know, retirement is around the corner. I mean, it's not really around the corner, but I want to retire early, so it's around the corner. Do I have enough money for that? I, I should have had this many members by now, so then I could do X, Y, and Z. And so it's just, it's a really hard time because there does feel like there's a timeline, and that we're trapped, and that we are behind, even if we don't look at other people, because there's just things we want to have done by now, and the reality is, as a business owner, as long as I've been, everything takes longer than we want. It will always have problems, and all of a sudden, you'll have been there, and you'll be looking back, and wow, how did that go? 


    Lesley Logan 5:13  

    Like I was at Brad's birthday party, and with a friend, and he didn't know how we met, and so I told the story. I was like, "Yeah, that was 11 years ago. That's 11 years ago. 11 years ago, when we got married, fuck. Wow, time does fly when you're having a good time. But also, we have to remember that this is a really good time for us to edit, get rid of, let go of things, not just keep accumulating, because it makes it really difficult to find the success that you want if you're trying to carry all the things from the past decades with you. So, what do you have to let go of? Is it friends? Is it a dresser you've just been shoving more shit in? Is it a car? Is it a job? Is it a goal that isn't yours? 


    Lesley Logan 6:03  

    So, for example, before I became a Lululemon ambassador, this would be 14 years ago, 15 years ago. When you come to the house, you'll see that my picture is on the wall here. It's fucking huge, and I don't know what to do with it. So it's just right there, staring at you, the guest bedroom, bathroom. But they had us do this goals thing: one year, five year, 10 year goals, right? And it had to be health related and personal and business or whatever, successful, whatever. And I put down that I wanted to do a yoga teacher training. I liked going to yoga classes. I had done a Pilates instructor teacher training. I was finishing up my second one, and I was, you know, I should do a yoga one because then I can teach yoga classes because that's what everyone does in fitness. They have 17,000 certifications. They could teach all these different formats, and I should do that. And then six months later, when I looked at that sheet, I hadn't even touched. I hadn't even Googled a yoga certification. Didn't even look one up. And guess what? There was one happening in Equinox where I worked, and I didn't even think, oh, I could do that one.


    Lesley Logan 7:00  

    None of that even came to my mind, and so what that meant was I was accumulating goals that weren't right for the success that I wanted to have, and so my love, we really need to be thoughtful about the things that we haven't let go of that no longer are serving a good purpose for us right now.


    Lesley Logan 7:20  

    All right. So next thing I want us to focus on before we get into our homework audit, I want us to talk about the borrowed scoreboard. Right. So this is ideal. We often get goals from our parents, but are often your parents put goals on you. I hear parents talk about their kids today and what school they're going to go to and how they're going to be, and what sports they're going to be in, and I'm, oh my god, do the, and I can't even keep my mouth shut, which has got me in trouble. Do they even like it? And they're going to like it. They get so defensive at me, and I'm, oh, this is I'm not supposed to talk. They're just supposed to talk at me. Okay, noted. But oftentimes our parents have had goals for us, right? And so we feel like we're disappointing people when we don't do those things, and so then not only do we do them or we try to have fun doing them, we kind of keep that goal as part of who we are supposed to be.


    Lesley Logan 8:10  

    We also have past versions of ourselves that we are using still to think about how we are doing things and if we're doing a good enough job. We 10 years ago definitely could handle a 12- to 13-hour workday and sleep and still do all the workouts and eat really well. And the person of me today cannot do that. If I don't get my work done in six hours, that's it. That's all I have, folks. And I have caught myself going, "Lesley. You should be able to do this. You just sit down at dinner and get another fucking hour of work done," and I just can't. So I can't. That's me in that moment comparing myself to an old self, using that old self's scoreboard and brain and things, and social media sucks for this, right? And so goes back to that thing: when comparison is high, clarity is low. If you open up socials and you are feeling bad about yourself when it's over, my dear, there's a big sign your scoreboard is not your own, because you know that it's all a highlight reel. You know that it has to be. That's the only way this works, because you definitely don't know the people that are made fun of for not having it being the weird ones that are doing something stupid on the strip, and it will be embarrassed that someone filmed them doing that. You don't want that, so you put out the highlight reel, and not to say that you should also put yourself up crying because I really hate videos of people crying. I think we know it's a highlight reel, and yet we'll compare ourselves to others. And the thing that you cannot get in 2200 characters or in a three-second hook is all the things that went wrong before that beautiful thing went up, right? 


    Lesley Logan 9:49  

    It is so. I'm pretty transparent here, so I know you guys know how much shit our business has gone through to get the things going. Because if you're a member, we're very transparent with you. If you're a listener, we talk this happened, and then that happened, and we did this, and now we're here, and now it works, and it's great, and so exciting. But it's a journey. But most people don't share that stuff, right? And that stuff also isn't sexy, so nobody wants to listen to it, anyways, because you just sound like a complainer. But the reality is that social media makes us feel like we're always behind, that we're not thin enough, that we're not pretty enough, that we're not doing enough things for ourselves.


    Lesley Logan 10:20  

    My god, to tell you the truth, I hate how I look on this podcast, and yet I will tell you right now, I don't do anything to change how I look on this podcast. But when it comes out, wow, you don't look at the camera, it's like you can't make eye contact. It would be cool, Lesley, if you just did your hair, you know. But the other thing is, is I also know that I don't really care, but it's just there's just something about it because then I see some other beautiful person on their podcast and it's just crisp and clearly filmed in 4,000k or whatever it is, 4k and 4,000k. I sound like that woman who I had podcasts which is it's 20 2000 2026. 


    Lesley Logan 11:00  

    Anyways, they just look so stunning, and I know how. What I that means that they took an hour and a half to set up that podcast to look that stunning, and I could do that too. But we're not doing that because that's not who I want to be on this. But the reality is that social media often has us comparing ourselves and feeling, "Wow, I do not measure up," but you're measuring yourself to somebody else, and all this, all the support that they have that you may or may not have, right? So I think it's really important that we remember that if we're looking at the shiny front, beautiful things that others are putting out there, we are often ignoring the hidden trade-offs of and the daily maintenance of that lifestyle. We pretend they have such a beautiful background, so that means everything is beautiful. No, probably not. Probably that's the stage that they're showing you. I do yoga with this woman, and I was like, your backyard is so pretty. She's, yeah, and if I were to move this computer three inches, you would see how much storage shit is out here, but you don't because this is the perfect space to look, and so just everybody is hiding all the things that they don't want people to see because they're afraid that that will mean that they're not as successful as they are. But that's not true because they are as successful they are with the junk in the background, right?


    Lesley Logan 12:12  

    All right. So we need to shift out of a comparison spiral, right? Obviously, we need to do that. We obviously need to have that as an ability. And what I would just want to say is, if you are able to notice that you are in a comparison spiral, that is the first fucking step, and that's a great thing because most people don't even realize that they are in a comparison spiral until they're spiraled out of control. So we need to use when we feel envy as this diagnostic tool that tells you where in your current life, what that is, what is that highlighting, right? So, if I see that somebody looks so stunning in their podcast and they just look like they actually know how what they're doing and their stats look amazing, it is a sign that I actually care that I want this podcast to be successful. It actually has nothing to do with whether I think I'm beautiful or not, that I'm capable. It has everything to do with. I actually give a fuck. I care. That's why I'm jealous a little bit, right? If I look at someone who looks like they have it all together because they are articulate in how they can share what their goals are, and they have these quippy sentences that they say, and that the comparison is high, clarity must be low. It means that I care about making sure that my points that I get to come across succinctly and effectively, right? So when you notice that you're having a little bit of that, you know, jealous eye, we call Darla Jelly Grace because she, when we give Bayon attention, she comes over wants attention, right? Because she wants attention too. That's why she's jelly of the attention he's getting. So it's okay to see something in someone else and want that for yourself. It is a highlight of the thing, right? And so, if you can use it as this, oh, this is important to me, rather than some judgment tool, right? 


    Lesley Logan 13:57  

    It's a highlighter. It's an expander tool, not one that is talking about how well you measure up or down, right? It's a highlight. It's oh, it's almost like if you think about in the movie Scrooged, which I guess is Charles Dickens, right? When you're visited with the ghosts of Christmas past and present and future, you just see the life that you want the ghost, the ghost of future, Christmas future. This is how your life is going to be. That's what looking at someone else's life and having a little. That means it's something that you want you to have in your future, and so that really helps you and understand what you do have to audit to get that. What you do need to do to train yourself up to do that. What is what you do actually care about? Because sometimes we say we don't care about something, we actually do care about it, right? We do, and that's okay. So just keep that in mind, because sometimes we get envious, and then we get mad at ourselves for being envious, and really, then we miss out on what the envy was trying to tell us. So this is really, really important. You cannot embody, you cannot be your future self if you are trying to step into a costume design for someone else cannot cannot be it till you see it. If what you see is being somebody else and comparing yourself to that, that's you're not able to make decisions as them because you are not them, and that's okay, right? So you can use that person to be an inspiration and put that stuff on your vision board, but it still has to be you doing those things. And so, how would you do it? And that's where the uniqueness comes in. That's where the beauty comes in. That's where why we can have five different computers out there, and I like the one that I like because they designed it for the person that I am, and they market it that way, right? That that kind of thing. So when you see something, you go, "Oh, well, they've already done it, so I can't do it." No, not true, because no one's going to do it like you, whatever the thing is, whatever the it is. 


    Lesley Logan 15:43  

    So since we talked about why we feel like there's a timeline, why we feel pressure, we've talked about the scoreboards, we've talked about comparison actually just being data and information, and I think we're pretty clear that using other people's stuff and then judging ourselves on it is not helping us out. So what I want to do on the next episode is go to the big question: like, what do we put in the place of comparison and scoreboards that are not our own? What do we put in place of that judgment? So in the next episode, we're going to stop questioning our old way and start actively building your custom definition of success that matches your real life, the life you want to have, and your energy and your current season, because that's what's so important, right?


    Lesley Logan 16:30  

    So I do want to give you some homework questions because I think that that will help us get you ready for the next episode. So even if you are banging these two next to each other, just take a moment, and I want you to take. If you have more than three goals, and your top three goals. If you only have three or less than your three goals that you're currently stressing over. So got them. So who taught you that these specific things equal success? So if you are working on goals and you're until I have this, then I can't have that. Who taught you that? Where'd that come from? You might have to do some morning pages on that. Next question. This is more of a cost-benefit analysis. If you magically woke up tomorrow with the exact life of the person you're comparing yourself to, what hidden daily trade-offs or responsibilities, what do you inherit that you actually don't want? So, if you woke up as a person you're jelly of, what do you think? There, what trade-offs would you get? Right? Oh my god, so funny when I think of that. Oh god, I do not want that.


    Lesley Logan 17:36  

    I definitely love my life because, right, because I wouldn't have the husband I have, or the dogs I have, or the house I have, or the morning routine I have, I'd have to. Oh my god! I'd have to have two assistants, right? All right. So that's their next question answer. Next one we call the envy decoder. Think of someone you envied recently, stripping away their specific job or relationship or lifestyle. What is the underlying feeling or energy that they have that your current life is missing. So that person that you envied, what do you do? You think that they have more freedom? Do they have more ease? Do they have more playfulness, more visibility? Take away the actual specifics and what's the energy and vibe that they're embodying that you have a little envious towards. That's going to help you understand what you're being till you see, because you might not even actually want to do the thing that they're doing. You just might want to feel at ease doing the thing you want to do, and they look so easeful. 


    Lesley Logan 18:25  

    Last one is the version of it, you know, the Be It you are trying to be right now actually yours. Are you trying to fit into costume design for someone else? I remember my ex having a party, and I remember being in this fancy dress I had to wear at this party, and I remember looking around this party and going, "I don't even know who these people are." And remember going, "I don't even want to be at this party." And then I looked at the dress, my ex bought me this dress, but I don't love this. I don't like this dress at all, and just feeling whose life is this, right? So it was my reality check, and then I moved out and crashed my car. But anyways, that's a different story for a different day, and they happen kind of over a month apart, but most of the same time. Don't worry. But I want you to do those questions because I think it will really help you in the Be It Till You See It. All right. 


    Lesley Logan 19:21  

    Well, we have another episode coming up on this topic to talk about those things, and I just want to say thank you for listening so very, very much. Please make sure you share this episode with a friend who needs to hear it. Maybe you share your success audit together. Send in your answers to the beitpod.com/questions. I would love to hear them all celebrate as a win. Whatever your aha moment is, you can be anonymous if you want. And if there's a topic you want us to discuss, you can send that there as well, beitpod.com/questions. And lastly, there's several ways to support this podcast. One is making sure we get more downloads by you telling your friends to listen to it. Another way is leaving a review. So if you haven't done that, I know it's really hard to do, but you can do it on Spotify and you can do it on Apple, and it would mean the world to me. Thanks so much. Have an amazing day. Oh, until next time. Go Be It Till You See It.


    Lesley Logan 20:01  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


    Brad Crowell 20:44  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 20:49  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


    Brad Crowell 20:53  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


    Lesley Logan 21:00  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals..


    Brad Crowell 21:03  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time. 



    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    21m - Sep 22, 2026
  • 735. I Can’t Do the Good Work Saying Yes To Everything

    For some, saying no feels like closing a door forever. For others, it is the only way to protect the work that matters. Lesley is sharing why she turned down an opportunity that would have made good money, what she has learned about brands that drop the people who talk about them, and how a win can be as simple as not feeling bad about it. Maybe there is a yes you have been giving away that you should be saying no to.


    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.


    In this episode you will learn about:

    • What Instagram affiliate culture used to look like years ago.
    • Why Lesley is being intentional about the companies she collabs with.
    • Why Lesley said no to an invitation even if it aligns with her business.
    • The insecurity Lesley let go of somewhere along the way.
    • Listener wins from a new reformer to lighter teaser legs.


    Episode References/Links:

    • OPC Flashcards - OPC Flashcards - https://opc.me/flashcards
    • eLevate Mentorship Program - https://lesleylogan.co/elevate
    • @sandaburkemovement - https://www.instagram.com/sandraburkemovement
    • @pilates_muscles - https://www.instagram.com/pilates_muscles/
    • Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions

     

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI


    DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

    Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

    Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

    Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

    Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

    FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/


    Resources:


    Follow Us on Social Media:

     

    Episode Transcript:

    Lesley Logan 0:00  

    It's Fuck Yeah Friday. 


    Brad Crowell 0:01  

    Fuck yeah! 


    Lesley Logan 0:02  

    Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.


    Lesley Logan 0:48  

    Welcome, Be It babe, to the Fuck Yeah Friday episode that has no script at the beginning. I just wing it every time, and I wung it so poorly. You'll probably hear a blooper in this episode because I. Oh my god! Normally, don't record the FYFs on Tuesday afternoons because normally that's when Brad and I would record a recap. So I think my brain is like, "Oh, it's Tuesday. You're in the pod room. You must be recording a recap without your husband. It's Friday, and we take some time to just be a human being. Don't have to be learning. We can be living. We can be celebrating what we did do together, and you know I got to get a little thing off my chest with you. Hopefully, you're in your car nodding along and understand my pain. Then I share one of your wins, and then you get to send. You get to be inspired by someone's win. You send it in to me. 


    Lesley Logan 1:35  

    So, okay, here's the deal. There's this weird thing that's going on. So, for those who have been on Instagram for a long time, meaning of like being on Instagram, like you didn't have to have a ton of followers, but like everybody wanted to send you a pair of leggings and then give you 10% off as your discount, but also you would sell the leggings and then you would get affiliate money, right? And so years ago, was everyone and their mom was literally in my DMs trying to get me to wear their fucking leggings. Send me a free pair, and then I just have to post, and I get to have an affiliate link and make three cents, right? So that was annoying. Fast forward to okay. Now I actually want to be intentional about the companies I collab with. I want to make sure it's things that we want to tell you about. So being intentional about doing my research, trying the product, reaching out, being an affiliate for them, and then for them to go, you actually haven't sold enough of the product, so we're going to cancel your affiliation with us. So by not selling enough of the product, they wanted 20 sales in a month. You guys, someone have to have a million followers for that because most people know it takes seven to 10 hours of somebody understanding your brand before they buy something from you. So seven to 17 touch points at the least for some purchase. And so I was so frustrated because it has been 30 days. What'd you think I was going to talk about your stuff all day long every single day? Like this is QVC? No. And so it was just so annoying, and it gave me such a bad taste with the brand because that's just you know I would never do with my affiliates. If you want to be an affiliate of ours, we have it for our flashcards and we have it for Agency, and then we have referral bonuses for eLevate and for the retreat. And if you want to be, we don't go. You have to have minimum sales to get a thing. No, what I have seen is if you do really, really well, you might get better payouts. But to just completely drop the people who've been talking about you because they didn't do a good enough job? Weird. I just think it's weird. I think it's gross. It's not. It's and then all these companies like women supporting women. Fuck you. No, you're not. Because you would just allow me to be an.


    Lesley Logan 3:37  

    If you saw me using my affiliate just to buy stuff at discount, okay, that is one thing, but to just feel you can keep talking about we're not going to pay you because you didn't. I don't know something about it just really irks me because wait, that's not that's not how things go. And you know, there's been other companies have taken really really good care of me, really really amazing, and then they got rid of their affiliate program. Very different thing, very very different thing, and so this is not me bitching about that stuff. It's just like the ones you. I don't know. I just think why can't I just tell people about the product that I love and then maybe one a month come to you? Maybe that's it, right? Maybe get one a month. Maybe actually my people already buy your stuff and they're like, oh, Les likes to do it. I'll keep buying more, but you'll never know, right? It's just weird. I don't know. Why can't we just all get along? Why can't we all support each other? That's all. That's what this complaint is about. 


    Lesley Logan 4:25  

    All right. So my win, my win because I think I've like hit that pinata to death. So I had an invitation to do something that, to be honest, would have actually been fine and aligned with the business, and we would have made it work, and probably would have made some good money on it. And I said no because it was going to affect my well-being and my commitments to myself, and my sleep, and my routines. And I have so many friends who work for themselves who will just say yes to every speaking gig, and they will just work from every hotel, and they just wear this badge of busy. And I cannot do that. And it's really interesting because, like, there is this fear that can come up. Oh my god! If I tell people I'm going to say no to things, then people will stop asking me. And I'm sure that's true. I guess it could happen. But I also really do believe that this is not advice for you if you're brand new at the thing you're doing, okay? But I've been doing this for a long time, a long time. I've been doing this a long time, and I also did so much travel, and then no travel because of pandemic, and then a little bit travel, and then so much travel, and I love it, and I would love to go everywhere all of the time. I'd love to say yes, and the truth is, is that I can't do the good work that I'm doing and say yes to every single thing. So I said no to this thing. I said I can't do it this time, but please keep me in mind for the rest, for other things. You know, it's not a never. It's just not a today, and send them on with some other support. And then I didn't feel bad about it, and I also think that that's a win. Like, whoa, wow, what, what? I'm I got rid of some level of insecurity that was vibrating in my brain. Got rid of that somewhere along the way, and I don't know when, but when I did this, I didn't buzz in. Oh my God, you're gonna invite again? Do you want to be invited? Nope, not not insecure at all. So that's my win. That's my win. I said no, I didn't feel bad about it. So see how easy a win can be? 


    Lesley Logan 6:25  

    Now let's do a win of yours. You can send your wins in to beitpod.com/questions. Okay, same link for everything. Questions, topics. The questions we answer on YouTube, but the topics we do podcast episodes on or find guests. You can send guest requests in. If you send me Michelle Obama one more time, I love her. Can't wait. Would love for her to be. Cannot wait to be of earn the right to interview her. But maybe someone a little more attainable. Yeah. Okay. I love you guys so much. All right. So this is from @sandaburkemovement, "Set up my new reformer!!!" Oh my god, your new Reformer is stunning on you, and it's been so fun to watch your practice just evolve and change, and you know, the strength that you have, and I just am so glad that you're in my life, that I've been your elevated life, and we get to keep doing this Pilates thing together. 


    Lesley Logan 7:09  

    And then this one is from @pilates_muscles, "Connected deeper to my breath, and made my long legs feel feather light and teaser." Oh wow! Breath is so good. The breath is so good. Ah, I love these wins. Thanks for sending them in, ladies. You are amazing. Keep them coming because you'll hear them in the future, right? You won't hear them a week later when you remember the win. You're going to hear it a month or three later and go, "Oh my God, I did that. That's right. I forgot about that. Right? 


    Lesley Logan 7:37  

    All right. Here is your mantra: Relaxation is my natural state. Relaxation is my natural state. Relaxation is your natural state, babe. Go get it. Go Be It Till You See It. Thank you so much for supporting this podcast by listening, by sharing, and by supporting OPC onlinepilatesclasses.com by either being a member or buying our flashcards, you mean the world to me. Have an amazing day. 


    Lesley Logan 8:05  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


    Brad Crowell 8:47  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 8:52  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


    Brad Crowell 8:57  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. 


    Lesley Logan 9:04  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


    Brad Crowell 9:07  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time. 


    Brad Crowell 9:22  

    Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview. Oh my fucking lord! What a blooper! Jesus! Wow!



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    9m - Sep 18, 2026
  • 734. You’ll Know When You’re True to Yourself

    Saying yes to everyone sounds generous right up until you notice who is actually paying for it. Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell recap their favorite takeaways from the conversation with transformational coach, speaker, and author Peter Kolat, also known as Polish Peter, who landed in Detroit at fourteen with no English and rebuilt his life after a recession and a divorce. Brad gets honest about the job he stayed in way too long and what finally made it unbearable.


    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.


    In this episode you will learn about:

    • What the three letters in DEI actually mean without the politics.
    • The costs of saying yes to everyone and everything in your life.
    • The difference between a business plan and a personal life vision.
    • How to spot the signal that you are on the wrong path.
    • Peter's daily practice for hearing yourself think again.


    Episode References/Links:


    Guest Bio:

    Peter Kolat is a transformational coach, speaker, and author who helps people uncover the quiet beliefs holding them back and rebuild on more honest ground. Known as "Polish Peter," he arrived in the U.S. from Poland at 14 with no English, trained as an architect, and later moved into coaching after a personal and financial turning point reshaped his path. Today he's recognized for a direct, no-nonsense style and a talent for naming the limiting beliefs people can't see in themselves. A Robbins-Madanes certified coach, Peter has spoken at more than 100 live events and authored The Authentic Self Rebirth. He co-hosts The Lifeonaire Show and leads a national coaching company.

     

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI


    DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

    Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

    Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

    Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

    Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

    FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/


    Resources:


    Follow Us on Social Media:

     

    Episode Transcript:

    Brad Crowell 0:00  

    You'll know when you're true to yourself if it feels like nothing is missing, right? If something is missing, if something feels like it's missing, then you're probably not being true to yourself, right? You're not being your authentic self.


    Lesley Logan 0:12  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.


    Brad Crowell 0:53  

    Take it away.


    Lesley Logan 0:56  

    Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap for my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the authentic convo I had with Peter Kolat, also known as Polish Peter, in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause us now. Go back and listen to Polish Peter, and then come back and join us.


    Brad Crowell 1:15  

    Yeah, Polish Peter, I love it.


    Lesley Logan 1:15  

    I know. It's on his Zoom call. It says Polish Peter.


    Brad Crowell 1:18  

    That's what he calls himself. Yeah, he explained it in the episode. I kind of had a good chuckle, but yeah, a lot of fun.


    Lesley Logan 1:24  

    I mean, he's Polish.


    Brad Crowell 1:25  

    Well, there's that. I mean, I hope I would hope he's Polish. He better fucking be Polish if he's calling himself Polish. 


    Lesley Logan 1:32  

    And he's not just Polish. He's from Poland. So there's that. All right. So today is September 17th. Here's the deal, guys. We're gonna get down and dirty because you know what? The day before recording this, I'm a little, I'm a little annoyed. So we're in on this stuff. It is whether or not people wanted to celebrate this day. There, we are celebrating it. It is National DEI Day.


    Brad Crowell 1:53  

    It's September 17th.


    Lesley Logan 1:54  

    That's right. It's September 17th. It is National DEI Day. National DEI Day champions our nation's commitment to diversity, equity, and inclusion every September 17th, sharing its date with Constitution and Citizenship. Wow, with Constitution and Citizenship Days. I wonder if the people who aren't into DEI have ever read the Constitution or taken a citizenship test. Anyways, it reinforces values of democracy and belonging. I am zesty today, and belonging. Communities nationwide are encouraged to wear blue and unite to celebrate equity in action. Discover resources, participate in discussions, and support initiatives that foster a truly inclusive society. So, Brad put some stuff together.


    Brad Crowell 2:36  

    Yeah, DEI. Here's what each word actually means, but completely stripped of political charge that's been layered with all of the craziness that's been happening.


    Lesley Logan 2:47  

    Okay, by the way, if anyone's triggered by the fact that we're talking about DEI, they're already gone. 


    Brad Crowell 2:51  

    So yeah, this is probably already gone. 


    Lesley Logan 2:53  

    Yeah, but this is for our people who needed to explain it to their family members. 


    Brad Crowell 2:57  

    Well, yeah, I think it's really important. DEI is just this supercharged acronym. We told my dad that our government is going after people about. They've shut down grants to universities because the university has a DEI class. But what is DEI? What does that actually mean? Right. The D stands for Diversity. The E is Equity. The I is Inclusion. But D includes the presence of people with different backgrounds, identities, and experiences in a group or organization. So that's all different backgrounds, identities, and experiences. This includes, but is not limited to, race, ethnicity, gender, age, sexual orientation, disability, socioeconomic background. Right?


    Lesley Logan 3:42  

    Yeah. If you're poor.


    Brad Crowell 3:43  

    You're DEI, right? National origin, so that could certainly be people from another country. It could also mean religion, and also side note, every fucking person who's ever been in the military.


    Lesley Logan 3:56  

    Yeah, you're DEI. When we told my family member, we're like, you're DEI. I'm like, you are over 65, so that's an age thing. You are a veteran.


    Brad Crowell 4:07  

    Yep.


    Lesley Logan 4:08  

    DEI.


    Brad Crowell 4:09  

    Yeah.


    Lesley Logan 4:09  

    There it is. You are. I have a sweatshirt that says you're probably DEI too.


    Brad Crowell 4:14  

    Yeah. So that's the D. So E is designing systems so that outcomes aren't predetermined by someone's starting point, so it's not the same as equality, giving everyone the same thing, right? This is equity. Equity means adjusting for the fact that different people face different barriers.


    Lesley Logan 4:35  

    Yeah, I mean, if you grow up in a poor area of town in the U.S., that likely means that your school has less funding, which means if you're able to be a straight-A student in your school with less funding, equity means that they see you similarly to someone who went to a very high-end school versus like, "Oh well, you got a 3.8 at this school, but these people have 4.2's." No, they're like, "Oh hi, that's insane, that's amazing, whoa, we should look at that."


    Brad Crowell 5:08  

    Well, it's adjusting. Yeah, exactly. It's adjusting for the fact that there are different barriers of entry. Right? So that's what equity is.


    Lesley Logan 5:15  

    There's also a really interesting thing. You can see it on YouTube. It was going around during 2020 and 2021, where they just put people on a starting line and they ask them questions, right? Did you have this? Did you have that growing up? Did you have this growing up? And you have to take certain steps forward or backward, and then you look and you see people of different socioeconomic backgrounds and races often are behind other places, and it doesn't mean that we take these other people down. It's that we actually go, "Oh, we should actually account for that and give these people an opportunity to even the drawing, give them a better opportunity at life."


    Brad Crowell 5:52  

    I stands for Inclusion. Whether people who are present actually feel welcome, they feel heard, and they're able to participate fully, or whether they're just technically in the room, right? Making sure that everyone has a voice.


    Lesley Logan 6:06  

    It's like in the '80s, or I don't remember when they, for, "Oh well, that board has a woman on the board, but she doesn't ever get to talk, and her points are never listened to." Then it's not actually included.


    Brad Crowell 6:18  

    She's the talking woman on the board.


    Lesley Logan 6:19  

    Yeah.


    Brad Crowell 6:20  

    Right. Yeah. So who is included in DEI? This is where it often gets—I'm just going to sum it all up. This is often where it gets misunderstood. DEI frameworks were born out of civil rights and anti-discrimination work. So, in practice, the groups most often centered are Black, Latino, Hispanic, Indigenous, Asian, women, LGBTQ+, people with disabilities, and veterans. However, the framework itself is not exclusive to those groups. A white man from rural Appalachia with no college degree is considered diverse in a room full of Ivy League professionals, and equity would ask whether he has had the same shot at advancement. Right? So.


    Lesley Logan 7:02  

    But they would never tell that guy that.


    Brad Crowell 7:06  

    Okay, well, the political fight isn't really just about the definition; it's about whether these frameworks produce fair outcomes or create preferential treatment, right? That's the—that is where the argument is: Is it right for us to give a voice to the guy from Appalachia? Are we giving preferential treatment to him, or is it producing a fair outcome? And that's where, you know, that's now where opinion comes into play, right? It's about that and whether institutional programs built around DEI actually deliver on the premise or become performative checkbox exercises, right? So it's definitely easy to just turn into a checkbox exercise. This is where reasonable people land on different places.


    Lesley Logan 7:45  

    Yeah, I mean, look, I don't know that DEI mandates, the wrong word, but values in a company are always going to be perfect. I think everything is going to have flaws, and there's always going to be blind spots to different things just based on experiences, no matter where you land on the board, but I do think that punishing people because they have DEI as a value system or something that's important to them is wrong, and also just assuming that somebody who is of any of the things we said got there because they were just gifted a thing is just ignorant. 


    Brad Crowell 8:22  

    It would also be wrong.


    Lesley Logan 8:24  

    It's wrong to assume. "Oh, there's a person of color, or a poor person, or a woman, or a queer person in a job. It's because DEI." No, every person who interviews for a job still has to get past the interview. They still have to get there. You know what I mean? It's so interesting to me how people think that something is happening at them. We all benefit when there's different people at.


    Brad Crowell 8:51  

    Oh the stats are in. I mean, the, the if you go look at any corporation that focuses on diversity in their company, they perform better as a company. There's not even any question.


    Lesley Logan 9:02  

    100% So I don't know. We obviously, I want to say about Polish Peter, but I just think it's really important. If you're listening, there's a good chance you're probably DEI too in some way, and if you have family members who are really like, they roll their eyes at those letters, I strongly encourage you to look up and see if they fall in under DEI and explain it to them because what sounds like is that they've been brainwashed that people are having a leg up on them, which is not true. And if they just recognized that they also fall under these things, there are systems for them. Like, this is the thing that frustrates me the most. There are systems for people,


    Brad Crowell 9:38  

    Yeah.


    Lesley Logan 9:39  

    Who think that the world is against them. There are these things. You have to look them up. It's really frustrating, but there are these things. I hear about different things that Vegas offers people in different socioeconomic backgrounds and homes. I didn't even know existed. I'm like, how are people hearing about this? But we do have. 


    Brad Crowell 9:55  

    I mean, we're watching The Pit right now. Again, literally. Lesley's on the third time through. I'm on the second time through, and there's in season two. There is a unhoused guy who he needs a bath really bad, right? And he gets in to they they they clean him up and they start talking to him and everything. And the charge nurse, the head charge nurse, says, you know, you need to work the system. The system is there to support you. You have to learn how to work the system. Right? And and so it's shoot that wrong. 


    Lesley Logan 10:25  

    We have some incredible people on our teaching team and and our team who've had things that are outside of their control, just terrible things that just have sidelined their dreams. And not only did they work the system, and yes, it requires you being on long phone call holds and doing the paperwork and and keeping the receipts, but their kids are benefiting from it and 


    Brad Crowell 10:48  

    Yeah, big time. 


    Lesley Logan 10:48  

    So do it. 


    Brad Crowell 10:49  

    In a good way.


    Lesley Logan 10:50  

    Do it.


    Brad Crowell 10:51  

    Yeah.


    Lesley Logan 10:51  

    And also we are voting in the next less than 60 days. Please consider how you are voting and who supports people. 


    Brad Crowell 10:59  

    Well, first off, make sure you vote.


    Lesley Logan 11:01  

    Make sure you vote.


    Brad Crowell 11:02  

    Yeah.


    Lesley Logan 11:02  

    You can vote for whoever you want, but also think about how that person feels about other people.


    Brad Crowell 11:08  

    Yeah.


    Lesley Logan 11:09  

    You know. Anyways, we got to get into it. 


    Brad Crowell 11:11  

    We're going to talk about what's coming up here and what our travel is.


    Lesley Logan 11:14  

    The upLifter, upLift Teacher Training Program. We're actually onboarding our instructors this fall, so. 


    Brad Crowell 11:20  

    Our educators. 


    Lesley Logan 11:21  

    Our educators, for that this fall and upLift is for people who want to become a pilates instructor or people who have had partial trainings who would like to make it a comprehensive training so they can have a career and longevity in this career. So if you are interested in my upLift teacher training program and being able to do that in person with one of our educators, xxll.co/uws. No, we still don't have a link for all these things, but we'll get there probably next year. It's a 2027 goal. All right. eLevate. That is my mentorship program. So that's for those of you who are—if you're like, "Oh, I would love to learn from you, but I'm already trained teacher." That's eLevate. We have a few spots left, and you can actually watch. 


    Brad Crowell 11:57  

    Well, we might be sold out by the time you hear this in September, but yeah, we'll see. At the very least, get on the wait list for future.


    Lesley Logan 12:03  

    Just go and check, and you never know. And we'll figure out a better way to announce this stuff. lesleylogan.co/elevate. But you should go learn about it and see if it's the right thing for you. 


    Brad Crowell 12:12  

    I mean, honestly, the the the reality is this: that 2027 is already sold out. 2028 is almost sold out, right? So if this is something that you're considering, it's getting further out in the future. So now is the time to start thinking about it because, you know, we might already be talking about 2029. 


    Lesley Logan 12:29  

    And I won't even let them pick dates, so we're not even talking. But anyways, I want you in if you want in. I want you in. It's not some elitist thing, by the way. It's just people always, "Oh, I can't believe I got accepted." It's, yeah, you meet the requirements and why you want to join is why I do the program, and so it's a kind of a first-come, first-serve. I'm not one of those hierarchical. Is that the right word?


    Brad Crowell 12:49  

    Yeah, you nailed it.


    Lesley Logan 12:49  

    Yeah, educators where you must have been teaching 30 years, and you must bow down to me and be in my cult. No, I, I really, if you want to learn from me and you meet the why we do what we do and what you need to have done, then it's a first-come, first-serve. So there is no someone had this training and that's why they're in over someone else. Nope, nope. Also, our flashcards. Did you know that if you want to support this podcast and you're not ready to be an OPC member, there's a way to support this podcast by buying our flashcards. And when you buy our flashcards, you don't just support us. You actually support the Nevada SPCA.


    Brad Crowell 13:21  

    Hey, love that.


    Lesley Logan 13:22  

    And they do fucking great work.


    Brad Crowell 13:24  

    Yes.


    Lesley Logan 13:24  

    Yeah. opc.me/flashcards.


    Brad Crowell 13:26  

    We were able to buy all of the dogs in the. 


    Lesley Logan 13:30  

    Not just the dogs, Brad. We were able to pay for 114 shelter animals' food for one week.


    Brad Crowell 13:35  

    That's amazing.


    Lesley Logan 13:36  

    And at the time, they only had 61 shelter animals, so we probably paid for two weeks of. 


    Brad Crowell 13:40  

    That's what I thought. It was two weeks. The way that it worked out was it's two weeks worth of meals for the the animals that they had, the future pets that they had, and we're really proud of that, y'all. Like this is not just Lesley and I saying this. This is your participation with Online Pilates Classes. We are so excited to be able to write that check, and we write it every quarter, and it's because of you.


    Lesley Logan 14:03  

    And also, we should be updating you on Q3 soon. So stay tuned. We'll see how many more animals we we fed, or how many we paid for the adoption fees for. Anyways, posters.


    Brad Crowell 14:14  

    Yeah, people have asked us where the posters are found. The OPC posters. Just go to opc.me/posters, and then real quick, we're gonna rip through this. Yeah, we'll be in Sacramento in October for Pilates On Tour. 


    Lesley Logan 14:26  

    It's sold out.


    Brad Crowell 14:27  

    It is sold out, but we'll be there, and we'll be bringing the flashcards, by the way. And then Lesley and I literally leave our van, and we take the BART into San Francisco, and we are going to hop on a plane to go to Cambodia to host our annual retreat there, which is also.


    Lesley Logan 14:44  

    Well. It's been sold out for a long time, but you can get on. You're making it sound like no one can hang out with us.


    Brad Crowell 14:48  

    No.


    Lesley Logan 14:48  

    You can get on the wailist because we will not sell tickets to 2027 until January. There is space in 2027 hangouts. But you got to be on the waitlist for that.


    Brad Crowell 14:58  

    In November, Lesley is going to be at a Pilates summit in China.


    Lesley Logan 15:02  

    Yes. 


    Brad Crowell 15:03  

    Just outside of Shanghai.


    Lesley Logan 15:04  

    Still have no link for you, but I heard that they're promoting it on the Chinese socials. 


    Brad Crowell 15:09  

    Yes, it is up and out. We're we're working on that.


    Lesley Logan 15:11  

    Tell your friends in China. Yeah, hopefully I can come a lot.


    Brad Crowell 15:15  

    That'd be awesome.


    Lesley Logan 15:16  

    Yeah.


    Brad Crowell 15:16  

    In December, Lesley's going to India. She's going to be in Goa.


    Lesley Logan 15:19  

    There are spaces.


    Brad Crowell 15:20  

    And there are spaces at the Pilates On Tour there, the POT there. So go to xxll.co/pot 


    Lesley Logan 15:27  

    And Goa, you guys, I said yes because when you look at Goa, you too will say yes. And the way they do Goa is so different. They treat it almost like you're going on a retreat. So your ticket covers the resort, the food, the whole thing.


    Brad Crowell 15:39  

    Oh, nice.


    Lesley Logan 15:40  

    Yeah.


    Brad Crowell 15:41  

    You have food there too. That's great.


    Lesley Logan 15:42  

    Well, of course they're gonna feed me. They always do, but everyone you fed.


    Brad Crowell 15:45  

    Not you, I meant the ticket attendees. 


    Lesley Logan 15:46  

    Yeah, they get everything, and then it covers their their end of resort. We're all at a resort together.


    Brad Crowell 15:51  

    Very cool.


    Lesley Logan 15:52  

    It's gonna be like the White Lotus, but not no murders, no affairs.


    Brad Crowell 15:58  

    Awesome, and then Lesley literally flies from India straight to Denver, which you know that we're in Vegas. But I'm driving the van to Denver. She's gonna fly from India to Denver, and I'll pick her up, and we're gonna hit the road for our winter tour for OPC. 


    Lesley Logan 16:14  

    Weird, wild, and crazy, and people think I'm 30 years old.


    Brad Crowell 16:16  

    Yeah, so come join us. Go to opc.me/events opc.me/events. 


    Lesley Logan 16:21  

    And if you're like, oh, I'm gonna do next year's, just so you know, I've accepted nothing for 2027.


    Brad Crowell 16:28  

    For the winter tour?


    Lesley Logan 16:29  

    No, I mean for any of these POTs or


    Brad Crowell 16:32  

    Any of the events, yes. 


    Lesley Logan 16:33  

    Or whatever. We haven't at this moment that we're recording. We have, I've accepted. Oh, I've accepted one thing, but I haven't had the contract on it yet, so. 


    Brad Crowell 16:41  

    That's true. That's true. Oh, actually, before we leave, hold on, stick around, stick around. We are very excited to talk about the charity of the week. So this week's charity is we're going to be highlighting the Americans for Immigrant Justice. It's a Miami-based nonprofit law firm fighting for immigrant basic human rights for nearly 30 years. Since 1996, they provided free legal representation because, unlike criminal court, there's no guaranteed right to an attorney in immigration proceedings. I just want to say that again. We all know that the court provides us an attorney if we need one, right? We do, we do, we get that, yes. But if you are an immigrant, if you're going through immigration proceedings, that is not a guaranteed right, right? So what do you? First off, you might not even know anything about our legal system, and then what? You're supposed to represent yourself? That's crazy.


    Lesley Logan 17:34  

    Well, we have friends who, because of all this ICE shit, are being thrown into representing people because it's hitting the federal courts now, which is not normally how it goes, and they are having to learn immigration shit.


    Brad Crowell 17:44  

    Yeah, and so, yeah, so this organization offers literally free legal counsel. It's all in the Miami-Dade area, so South Florida, but it's—it's—it's amazing. They've provided attorneys to more than 175,000 people from over 160 countries. That's amazing. They're the only provider offering on-site legal help at Miami-Dade's domestic violence shelter. They do not just immigration, but they also do violence, like domestic violence. They've exposed abusive conditions inside detention centers in Florida and on the Texas border. And in 2025, they won a federal injunction blocking a Florida law that would have made it a felony for certain undocumented people to simply be in the state. 


    Lesley Logan 18:23  

    Wow, this is really cool. And also, I'm sure if you don't live in Florida, I bet you they have friends and colleagues in different states.


    Brad Crowell 18:30  

    Yeah, they're four-star rated by Charity Navigator. Your donation actually goes to real on-the-ground work for people who have nowhere else to turn. And you can find out more at aijustice.org. AIjustice.org.


    Lesley Logan 18:43  

    I love that. It's really important. You know, there's a lot of ish happening right now, and it's, it's very scary, and it's all meant to just scare. It's all scare tactics, but also these are real people who are being locked up in places that it's not how it's normally done. They're actually, when people say, "Do it the right way," a lot of these people are. They actually went to their immigration appointment and they got picked up. It takes a long time. So, anyways, please take a look at how you can support people who have immigrated here in your areas. If this organization doesn't work, there's probably a lot of different ways you can support those in your community. Do that.


    Brad Crowell 19:17  

    Yeah, and if you have a recommendation for a charity that we should investigate and check out, send us a text 310-905-5534, or you can submit that to beitpod.com/questions. You can also leave us a win for the Friday episodes, and if you know, you know. Stick around. We'll be right back. All right, let's talk about Peter, known as Polish Peter and sometimes Polish Tony, for his Tony Robbins-esque style. He's a transformational coach, speaker, and author. Born in communist Poland, Peter landed in Detroit in 1991 at the age of 14 with no English and Big Dreams of the USA, shaped by Hollywood movies. He trained as an architect, but after the 2008 recession and a divorce, he found his way into coaching. Today, he helps people like—all the stories holding them back, and asks the tough, sobering questions that people need to hear, rather than what they want to hear. He does have a book. It's called The Authentic Self Rebirth, and we'll put the link in the show notes, so check it out below. 


    Lesley Logan 20:13  

    But he's got such great energy. 


    Brad Crowell 20:16  

    Yeah, my Authentic Birth. You can find it, and he has a book there. It's free right now, apparently, actually.


    Lesley Logan 20:21  

    No, you just pay for shipping handling.


    Brad Crowell 20:22  

    Yeah, awesome. So yeah, yeah, it was a great convo.


    Lesley Logan 20:25  

    I agree. I don't. I think I don't even remember. Remember when the 747s were falling out of the sky, like they were having issues.


    Brad Crowell 20:34  

    Yeah, sure. Like two years ago.


    Lesley Logan 20:35  

    No, more like before COVID. But there was that. Was it really? Yeah, maybe they weren't 747s. Maybe they were—remember the Boeing? There were Boeings, and there was two that the pilots were trying to do something, and the computer was doing the opposite thing. Yeah, and then you were on a plane to New Orleans, and I had to get on a plane to Poland, and it was one of these Boeing numbers, and I started having a panic attack, and you weren't answering your phone because you were on a plane,


    Brad Crowell 21:00  

    I think it was 2023, babe.


    Lesley Logan 21:02  

    No, definitely not. It was before COVID. We lived in LA, and so I'm texting you, "I think I'm gonna die now. I'm going." 


    Brad Crowell 21:10  

    Oh yes, I do remember this.


    Lesley Logan 21:11  

    And I love you so much. Here's where I come down. 


    Brad Crowell 21:15  

    This was your first trip to Poland.


    Lesley Logan 21:17  

    My first trip to Poland, and they made me check my bag, which you know how much I hate because I said it was too heavy, and so of course I found some tequila and some kombucha, and I made myself a margarita at the airport. And I'm walking around drinking my margarita that I made, and I get myself on this plane. I was like, okay, if the plane takes off and nothing happens in 20 minutes, I think we're okay. So I set a timer, and I'm just sitting there with my timer. What? Nothing happened.


    Brad Crowell 21:43  

    What? No idea what you said.


    Lesley Logan 21:44  

    Well, I was just like watching my timer. I was just watching the timer. I was watching 20 minutes tick down, right? Because I was like, "This is—this is when it's going to happen. It's going to happen the next 20 minutes." And this woman next to me, when there was no one in the middle seat, she was, "I'm scared to fly too," and I was like, "Oh yeah, normally no, but this is one of those planes that goes down, so I'm just scared to be on this one." And she started talking about being living in communist Poland.


    Brad Crowell 22:06  

    She did?


    Lesley Logan 22:07  

    Yeah. And she told me it was so wonderful because she talked nonstop. Even my timer went off. She just kept talking, and she told me her whole life trying to escape communist Poland and how her family got to the U.S. and because in communist Poland you couldn't have access to your passport, so you had to have different reasons to get access to it. And then they watched you heavily when you had access to your passport. And she and her family were able to escape Poland and come to the United States.


    Brad Crowell 22:37  

    That's amazing.


    Lesley Logan 22:37  

    Yes, and it was a beautiful story. It was, and then she's like, "And I'm going back to see family." I'm like, so. 


    Brad Crowell 22:43  

    Why would you do that? Okay. 


    Lesley Logan 22:44  

    But it's not communist. Anyways. But it was. I just, anyways, I thought of her when I thought of that story and thought of her when with Peter because how difficult for his family to come here and then to be a child. Now he's in Detroit. How many Polish people are in Detroit. He's in Detroit. He doesn't know English, and English is. You think Polish is hard? English is hard. So, anyways, he operates, and this is probably why, is because he operates under the belief that life happens for me, not to me. And I know we've all heard that before, but you really do have to think about that in a way that's, that helps you because shit happens, and if you really can think about it, he, you know, in 2008 he lost all the things and his partner and all this stuff, and if he can think about this is happening for me and see the opportunities that are there to grow and to become a different person and to have a different life, so he definitely had some really good explanations. He said, imagine banging your head against the drywall, like something's going to give.


    Brad Crowell 23:42  

    Something will give.


    Lesley Logan 23:43  

    It will, and if you live at a flipped house, it will definitely give. But it's not good. You don't want to do that. He does—he said you should figure out what the root cause of the issue was going on. Like, really going back in time, and I think a lot of us stick to the surface level. This happened, so this is the thing. But there's often a first domino that starts the effect. So he also, I really like when he talked about the different patterns that signal a wrong direction, and we have to pivot. And my God, I know we all hate that word. It's still like a trigger word for us. But there's nothing wrong with a good pivot. I don't know. I'm a pivot queen.


    Brad Crowell 24:19  

    I think it's a great skill to have. I mean, it's also an important time to step back and reevaluate.


    Lesley Logan 24:27  

    Well, I was just talking with some eLevate people this week about how sometimes they get so super focused on this one thing in a person doing an exercise, and I love how you are a dog with a bone on that. But you got to zoom out because if you don't zoom out, you're actually missing that these three things are happening, which is probably why the thing you're zoomed in is happening there. And if you don't zoom out, then you're actually going to be going in the wrong direction. Where if you zoomed out and made a pivot, it doesn't mean you're a bad teacher. It actually means you're, you're going, "Whoa, hold on! I have more information, and now I can take us in the right direction." No, that's what.


    Brad Crowell 25:06  

    Well, I really loved what he was talking about. How do we know that we're being authentic? Because that's just be yourself. Just be authentic.


    Lesley Logan 25:13  

    I love this because everyone talks about being authentic. It's so annoying, but I love the word. Yeah, how do you know if you are?


    Brad Crowell 25:18  

    He said when you are true to yourself, he said, "You'll know when you're true to yourself if it feels like nothing is missing," right? If something is missing, if something feels like it's missing, then you're probably not being true to yourself, right? You're not being your authentic self. He also said that if you're living from stories of what the world told you to be, not how you need to be, right? So it's, this goes back to all the, you know, parallel here is like magazines or society telling you what this is how you should do it, and it's not necessarily the right path for you, right? For me, yeah, I agree. Yeah, you know, so I think it's amazing when you are pressured by something outside of you. That could be your parents. That could be your school. That could be your church. That could be whatever it might be. Your job. There's tension. There's obviously tension there. Sometimes the pressure is good. They're helping you with your path, but you know if the pressure is not good, right? It makes me think of my job that I had before I finally quit. Yeah, I mean, look, my parents pushed me to be a better student. You know, that's a good thing. My job pushed me to do things that could I do those things? Yes. Should I do those things? Probably shouldn't have done those things. You know, there was so much turmoil and tension in doing those things, but I was, I felt stuck. Felt super, super stuck. I need to get paid. I need to, you know, that's what's keeping me here. Is the only thing that's keeping me here is the paycheck, right? And I, it became very clear over time. I can't keep operating this way. I cannot keep doing the things I'm doing, you know, because I am not being authentic to myself. I don't believe in the things that I'm doing. I don't, I don't want to be doing the things that I'm doing, but I'm still doing them for some reason, right? And so, you know, I think that there's that internal frustration that you have, and that is a huge indicator that you're not being your authentic self.


    Lesley Logan 27:21  

    Yeah, I think I look back at my job I had in retail, which I do love and I'm really grateful for. But I kept taking promotions, expecting like the next thing to be better, the next thing to be better, and then I'm like, I gotta move cities, and that's gonna make it better. And then it's—you keep saying, "And then once this happens, then it'll be better." And it's actually no, if that keeps happening, there's something missing, and so you're not fully being authentic. And you got to take some time to think about that means and go get to know yourself. You know, go watch Runaway Bride and see how long it took her to figure out what she liked. You know, it takes time.


    Brad Crowell 27:52  

    Yeah, I mean, you know, I think the idea of getting to know yourself will help you create clarity when you have that tension. It's really hard, you know, to step aside and reevaluate things. It often comes with major life change, you know. For him, he was talking about how getting divorced was a reality check, and it made him do a lot of self-inflection.


    Lesley Logan 28:20  

    Self-inflection, reflection?


    Brad Crowell 28:22  

    Inflection.


    Lesley Logan 28:24  

    Self-inflection.


    Brad Crowell 28:25  

    Yeah, right? 


    Lesley Logan 28:26  

    I don't think that's right. I don't want to correct you, but I don't think that's right. Self-inflection?


    Brad Crowell 28:32  

    Maybe it's self-reflection.


    Lesley Logan 28:33  

    It's reflection. 


    Brad Crowell 28:34  

    What is inflection? What does that even mean?


    Lesley Logan 28:36  

    Well, this is when I'm in—I'm inflecting my voice. Like, I'm doing inflection. I'm inflecting this way. I am doing it like this. Like, inflection is like what you do with sounds.


    Brad Crowell 28:47  

    Well, we're gonna inflect in just a minute. So stick around. We'll be right back when we we inflect on those Be It Action Items.


    Lesley Logan 28:53  

    Oh my god, you guys! It's a Friday night.


    Brad Crowell 28:55  

    It's definitely Thursday.


    Lesley Logan 29:00  

    Leave it in. Just leave it in. 


    Brad Crowell 29:03  

    We'll be right back. 


    Brad Crowell 29:07  

    All right, welcome back. Let's talk about those be it action items. What bold, executable, intrinsic, or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Polish Peter? He identifies as a recovering people pleaser. He said that if you say yes to everything and everyone except the things that are most important to you, what ends up happening most of the time is the people who are closest to you get hurt the most. I'm going to say that again. If you say yes to everyone else, everyone except for the things that are important to you, the people that are closest to you get hurt the most. That was really interesting to think about. He also pointed out the people who are always told to write business plans, but nobody ever tells you to write a vision for your own personal life. I thought that was also really intriguing. So, but the thing, but let me get back to the thing about the people get hurt the most are the people closest to you. Think about this. This is—this is actually one of the things we talk about with OPC. You gotta put yourself first so that you can be the better you for your family, friends, coworkers, job, whatever it might be. For yourself, you have to put yourself first.


    Lesley Logan 30:20  

    I agree. Also, I was just watching a shitty reality TV show, and these people were with terrible people, and they're, you can watch the people-pleasers trying to make it work, and some of it was manipulation and coercion, but they're trying to people-please their way out of the situation, and


    Brad Crowell 30:35  

    It was some inflection.


    Lesley Logan 30:36  

    Yeah. And other person feel really good, but guess who got hurt? Their friends, their family, the people they cared about, because those people could see this partner is not good for them, and they could see what this person was doing, jumping through hoops to make this partner good for them. And it's, they ended up losing friends and losing connection with family members. And so you ought to be mindful. Yeah, I agree. Your OPC example was perfect. 


    Brad Crowell 31:00  

    Yeah. Moving on to the business plan for your life, like writing a vision for your life. He said to stop being a people pleaser. He wrote out his own vision for his own life, and he blocked out personal priorities in his calendar to ensure those spots were not taken up by others or other commitments when he was usually saying yes. And he said the payoff was when people would ask for his time. He would say, "Hey, let me get back to you on that," and then he would go sit down and he would think, "Does this align with my vision? Is this going to help me with my vision, or is it going to take me further away from my vision?" Right?


    Lesley Logan 31:36  

    I have a filter.


    Brad Crowell 31:37  

    But also that sounds super selfish. Does this align with my vision? Is it going to help me with my vision, or is it going to take me further away?


    Lesley Logan 31:45  

    I think this selfish needs a rebrand.


    Brad Crowell 31:48  

    Right. So self-care isn't selfish. We talked about that a whole lot back in the day, but the idea here is, yeah, it might sound selfish, but because he had not put himself first in the past, his entire life fell apart. So on round two, he was major change needs to happen. I'm going to run all of these things through this filter of how aligned is this thing with what I need for me. In addition to, I'm sure there's ways in there he can do both, but there are certainly things in there that will not serve him at all. And he's, "Hold on a minute. I don't know if I can do this anymore." So good for him. That's a really powerful thing to learn. And now he's helping people with it.


    Lesley Logan 32:33  

    Yeah. I also definitely understand feeling bad when I say no to things that don't align with what I want to do. It's not about—I don't feel bad, right? While this is going on, we were asked to be somewhere for an event, and we're available, but it's the only month to be fucking home, the rest of the year, it's it, and so I said we can't make it because it's the only month not on plane, and I'm really excited for you, and so of course I feel some FOMO. I feel, "Oh my God, are we letting people down?" And also, I can't do it. I will not be present enough for October events, November events, December events. I can't do it. So it's actually not selfish because going back to the people pleasing thing, if I had said yes, then the people coming to our events the rest of the year are going to get an exhausted version of me, so I had to say no, and it's not selfish; it's self-preservation.


    Brad Crowell 33:29  

    Right.


    Lesley Logan 33:30  

    Yeah. Anyways, I like that he said literally every day be with yourself. I do this all the time, so I couldn't agree more. I actually get really annoyed when I can't be with myself for four plus hours. I think it's really important. Find ways to be with yourself. Some people want to be with themselves in movement. Some people want to be themselves meditation, whatever. But you got to be with yourself without the podcast in the ear. I know this podcast, but so as much as I want you to keep listening, find 15 other minutes to be with yourself. But be with yourself. He suggested being in front of a camera or a mirror and just be with yourself and just be quiet. I think that's cool, especially if you don't do things with the camera. I'm in front of a camera all fucking day. I don't want to see my face anymore, so most of my time with myself is not seeing my face. I really appreciate that, but then it's really hilarious because I'll be with myself for four hours, and I'll put a camera. I'm like, "Wow, I walk the dogs like this." But anyways, I couldn't agree more because I think it's really important that you you just take time to be with you without any extra input. So I love that. I'm Lesley Logan


    Brad Crowell 34:35  

    And I'm Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 34:36  

    We're so happy you're here. Thanks for being here. This is episode 734. That's insane! Insane! Insane to me. But thanks for listening, and thanks for sharing this with friends. It's so fun to hear new listeners who are downloading the podcast and their takeaways, and share Polish Peter's episode with a friend who needs to hear it. Join OPC or get our flashcards if you want to support this podcast in other ways. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.


    Brad Crowell 34:58  

    Bye for now.


    Lesley Logan 34:59  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

     


    Brad Crowell 35:41  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 35:46  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


    Brad Crowell 35:51  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


    Lesley Logan 35:58  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


    Brad Crowell 36:01  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



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    36m - Sep 17, 2026
  • 733. Reclaim Yourself: Stop Performing and Start Being

    Peter Kolat spent years saying yes to everyone and quietly losing himself in the process. A transformational coach and author, he tells Lesley Logan how a divorce and what he calls his optimistic depression became the turning point that rebuilt his life. Peter breaks down how to catch people-pleasing in the act, write a one-page vision that protects your priorities, and get honest about who you actually need to become. This one is for anyone tired of performing and ready to just be themselves.


    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.


    In this episode you will learn about:

    • The belief that life happens for you rather than against you.
    • Reading the difference between a fear-driven stop and a real pivot.
    • The hidden cost people-pleasing carries into your closest relationships.
    • Writing a one-page life vision that protects your real priorities.
    • Asking the sobering question that reveals who you must become next.


    Episode References/Links:


    Guest Bio:

    Peter Kolat is a transformational coach, speaker, and author who helps people uncover the quiet beliefs holding them back and rebuild on more honest ground. Known as "Polish Peter," he arrived in the U.S. from Poland at 14 with no English, trained as an architect, and later moved into coaching after a personal and financial turning point reshaped his path. Today he's recognized for a direct, no-nonsense style and a talent for naming the limiting beliefs people can't see in themselves. A Robbins-Madanes certified coach, Peter has spoken at more than 100 live events and authored The Authentic Self Rebirth. He co-hosts The Lifeonaire Show and leads a national coaching company.

     

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

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    Episode Transcript:

    Polish Peter Kolat 0:00  

    Here's the thing: sign. You say yes to everything and everyone except for the things that are most important to you. I know deep down inside. You do know deep down inside. I know I should not be saying yes, but I'm saying yes, right? And what ends up happening most of the time? The people who are closest to you get hurt the most.


    Lesley Logan 0:19  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 


    Lesley Logan 1:02  

    You guys, I'm excited for this conversation. It's really fun. We got to talk a lot of things. We got to talk about rock bottoms, divorce, finding a partner, authenticity, true authenticity, people pleasing. My people pleasers, you know, hear this podcast. It's so good. So Polish Peter is our guest today. He is an author of a book you're gonna want to read, especially if you are, ah, I know I need to be authentic, but authenticity been ruined. We just have a really great conversation around that, and I think this is really going to help those who are feeling a little stuck. Those need a reminder to keep going. Those of you who've just kind of lost the way or have been, why is this happening to me? All great stuff in this episode. So here is Polish Peter. All right, be babe. I'm really excited. This is gonna be a fun conversation. I already know because I've already talked to this person before, and we're just gonna get into it. Polish Peter, who are you? What do you rock at? Well, are you Polish Peter? Is that your formal name? Should we give a last name, or we just go by Polish Peter? 


    Polish Peter Kolat 1:55  

    No, there is a last name. It's called Kolat, Peter Kolat. But what ended up happening over the years in my industry, I've been now coaching people and things like that, I've been referred to as Polish Tony, like in regards to Tony Robbins, and then the kind of Polish Peter kind of stuck with me. So that's how it just happened like that.


    Lesley Logan 2:11  

    I love it. You know, that's how nicknames come about. I used to always go by my last name, and then people just called me LL, and I was going do I want to be LL, and actually, I do. It's like a whole alter ego. I step into a different power. It's super fun. So you're an inspiration. How did we get here? How did that happen? Did you always be someone who was inspiring, like a Tony Robbins, or was there a journey that got you there?


    Polish Peter Kolat 2:34  

    No, I drank some Kool-Aid. No, I think it was. I mean, I think my whole life. I think there was something that I thought I was something bigger than I was meant for something bigger. I don't know. There was some kind of innate kind of a feeling that I wasn't meant to work for someone else. It was always something that I needed to know, do my own path, kind of a thing. So I think there was always something like that. And the more I started, especially after 2011, I went more into this, because people kept telling me, "Listen, I think you should be a coach. I think you should be the person who's speaking to people because of who you are, your story. I think would benefit a lot of people." And when you start looking from that perspective, you start to, okay, let's do it. Let's try it on. See how it happens.


    Lesley Logan 3:20  

    Yeah, I think we're all meant to step into something bigger than ourselves, and some of us follow that calling, and some of us get stuck. So, do you feel like you did something uniquely different that you didn't get stuck like other people? Was it scary to try to do something bigger than you? What was the journey there?


    Polish Peter Kolat 3:38  

    Yeah, I mean that's a really good question. I think that is true. People do get sometimes stuck, and I think for me it was. Think about it this way: every single person in the world has some kind of a story, right? And I don't think these stories are meant to just die. I think the stories are meant to you help other people on their journey because my circumstances might be completely different, but maybe sharing my story with you maybe will help you give you some kind of different impact that you are going to make different choices in life or inspire you or whatever might be. So I think we're all called to do that. Now I think it kept me going is couple of beliefs that I have. One, I have a belief that life happens for me, not to me. So if life happens for me, not to me, then there must be something behind that. You know what I mean, that drives me. The other thing I have this belief that, and sometimes that helped me, sometimes it didn't really help me, is that I don't quit. I don't quit very easily. And what ended up happening, I when I sometimes talk to my students, and this is not the best of analogies, but at some point I came up with, and I just keep using it. Imagine if you're standing in front of a drywall and you're banging against the wall, something is going to give. Either you're going to stop banging your head against the wall, or the drywall is going to break through.


    Lesley Logan 4:52  

    Yeah. 


    Polish Peter Kolat 4:53  

    And when you start looking, not giving up, maybe sometimes you need to pivot a little bit. But if you don't give up in life, I think you will be able to accomplish a lot more and drive you more towards what you've meant to be here on this earth for. You know what I mean? That you go into your calling, sort of speak.


    Lesley Logan 5:10  

    Yeah, like you just got to keep going. And I do think some people get to a wall and they go, "Oh, this is a sign that I'm not meant to do this." That's what I hear people. "Oh, well, there was that door closed and that door closed. This must not be meant for me, or it's leading you down a hallway. That door, you know what I mean." But so, how do you know if you're supposed to keep going or if you have hit the wall and you're going to break? What's the signs that you look for to keep going?


    Polish Peter Kolat 5:39  

    That's a really good question. That's one of those things that we all trying to figure it out, right? 


    Lesley Logan 5:44  

    I was hoping you had the answer. 


    Polish Peter Kolat 5:45  

    Well, I had the answer, right? I mean, let's bring somebody else in the podcast. Maybe somebody else will know. No, but I think what I've discovered up to this point is this: people, when they stop, why am I stopping? Am I stopping because there is a fear that's driving that decision, right, and worry or whatever might be. If it's some kind of a negative emotion, negative decision, negative something, I think I think that's us just stopping, not because we're not meant to go through that door, and also there might be people around you or things that are happening around you that gives you this pattern that says you're going down the wrong direction. Right? And what ends up happening is the pattern around you says keep going, and you feel like, oh, I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I am ready for this. And all of a sudden you get a call that you want to be speak in front of 10,000 people, and you've spoke in front of 500 at most ever, and this is collectively speaking, you're like, ah, how am I going to do this?


    Lesley Logan 6:51  

    Yeah. 


    Polish Peter Kolat 6:52  

    But, you know, maybe this is an opportunity that you've been kind of working towards. So it requires some faith, requires courage, right? So if I think it requires the courage, requires this little bit of a faith. I think that tells you that you're going down the right direction.


    Lesley Logan 7:08  

    Yeah, yeah. I've had some people go, "I want to speak on these big stages," and but they won't say yes to a stage of 10 people. And it's, well, if you've never spoken in front of 10, it's hard to speak in front of 100. Recently I actually taught a class for over 300 people, and there was some people like, "Oh my god, I want to do that." And you get, yeah, guess what? I had to teach to five people first, and then at some point that got to be 20 people, and then at some point the number was 50, and then this earlier this year, the biggest number of people in one class was 85, and if I hadn't taught the 85, I couldn't have taught 300. I wouldn't know what to do with 300 people. You have to build the muscle up, and I agree. Like there's that. Okay, we have to take a journey back though, because you have a story. So, before you became an optimism, helping coach, inspiring people to find their way. What got you here?


    Polish Peter Kolat 7:55  

    Well, so I was born in Poland during the communist. Poland was communism at that particular point. Then in '89 got abolished. I came here to United States when I was 14 at '91. Not because I wanted to, it's because my mom was already here, and this was a land of opportunity. Money grows on trees here. By the way, I kid you not, Lesley. I actually, as a kid growing up, I had to believe that there was money trees in here. Imagine my disappointment when I came here. Oh, here's the other thing. One, there is no money trees. There was a different conversation about that. But when I was flying over here to United States at 14 years old on a plane, they played two movies. The first movie was by Eddie Murphy.


    Lesley Logan 8:37  

    Coming to America? 


    Polish Peter Kolat 8:38  

    Guess what? Coming to America. Probably complete coincidence, right? Had to be complete coincidence.


    Lesley Logan 8:45  

    Yeah. 


    Polish Peter Kolat 8:45  

    And the second one was Eddie Murphy movie as well, and that was Beverly Hills Cop when he was in L.A. Okay?


    Lesley Logan 8:53  

    Oh my God. 


    Polish Peter Kolat 8:54  

    So I am resisting coming here, but I'm looking at this movie and I'm, you know what? This might not be so bad. You got palm trees, which, I love palm trees. You got beautiful skies, skyscrapers, sports cars. Right? 


    Lesley Logan 9:08  

    Where did you end up? Did you end up in Ohio? Did you get to L.A.?


    Polish Peter Kolat 9:12  

    Well, I ended up in Detroit.


    Lesley Logan 9:15  

    I don't think there's a palm tree in Detroit. 


    Polish Peter Kolat 9:17  

    No, there isn't. So imagine my disappointment, right?


    Lesley Logan 9:20  

    Yeah. Also, in Detroit when they were going down, because I feel like that's about when yeah.


    Polish Peter Kolat 9:25  

    '91. There was the you know Kilpatrick thing later on and all that kind of stuff, right? So there was the whole discussion, and then you know I went to high school, was learning English because I don't know any English, you know. In fact, I remember thinking to myself, wait a minute, am I Polish or am I polish, right? Because the word looks exactly the same, right? I mean, talk about confusing. I mean, you know, language.


    Lesley Logan 9:46  

    Yes.


    Polish Peter Kolat 9:47  

    So got the you know graduate of high school, went to college, got a degree in architecture, which was inspired by my uncle because he built his entire house. Did you know that? And I'm sharing my story. I'm revealing a lot of the belief system right that was driving this thing, my uncle, and so I'm going to architecture. Graduated high school architecture when actually became an architect here in Michigan. I was developing a lot of buildings while I was doing this. Ended up finding my wife, got three kids. After that, we started you know one kid, second kid, third kid, you know. And I in about 2007, I don't know if you remember what happened in 2008, but I saw the writing on the wall here, especially in Michigan, because we got the big three, and I started my own company on the side, and it was a marketing company to be able to help real estate investors and people in real estate, you know, market themselves. So I kind of started seeing the writing on the wall. I went to in about maybe 2009 full time into that, and I started growing this business. Then in 2010, my wife came to me and she said she wants a divorce because guess what? Peter got lost in the entire business. By the way, one of the beliefs that draw of that was the people pleaser. So gotta make sure everybody's happy, right? So there was that conversation, and so after that, for about two years, I went into what I called my optimistic depression. And when I say that, some people get confused. What does that mean? But if you are an optimistic kind of a person, I think you can understand what optimistic depression is, right?


    Lesley Logan 11:17  

    Yeah, you're like you're constantly thinking there's going to be hope on the other side, but you're depressed on the inside too.


    Polish Peter Kolat 11:22  

    Well, yes, that and on the inside, I remember asking myself that question: What the hell is wrong with me? Right? Because how is it that my whole world basically like crashed for me? Yeah, kind of thing. You know what I mean? What the hell's wrong with me? And when people come to me, you okay? Everything good? Talk to me. Right? Guess what my answer was. I'm good. I'm good. I'm great. Yeah, yeah, great. Right, and people could see it. So that's the optimistic depression. So during that particular time, I actually went through what I call my awakening, and I've learned a lot about myself. And because of that, that's when I went into a mastermind. That a friend of mine, he's my best friend Jason brought me into this company, (inaudible). Was in the mastermind group, and as I started learning all about myself, that's when people started saying, "Listen, you should be a coach because you have this way of speaking to people and asking the questions. Sort of like they call me Frank because I'll be can be frank with you. I'll be the person who would ask and people what sometimes they need to hear, and that's not what they want to hear. You know what I mean? So that's why it prompted that, and and that's when the kind of a journey started. And here I am today.


    Lesley Logan 12:31  

    Oh my goodness! Oh, what a journey! That was a difficult time for a lot of people. That 2007, 2008, but also like a lot of great things were born from there. And so it's interesting. Thank you for sharing that. And I just want to go back to the people pleaser part, and then we'll go back to optimistic depression. So we don't want to miss that one. But you mentioned it, and I want to highlight people who are people pleasers. Think, oh, I'm trying to make everybody happy, but in doing that, you make zero people happy, including yourself. And so, can we talk about what should we? What are the signs you're a people pleaser, and how do you stop? Did you stop? Are you still one?


    Polish Peter Kolat 13:01  

    Yeah. Well, hi. My name is Polish Peter. I'm a recovering people pleaser, right? So, I love your laugh, by the way. I think it's awesome.


    Lesley Logan 13:11  

    Thanks. 


    Polish Peter Kolat 13:12  

    So here's the thing: sign. You say yes to everything and everyone except for the things that are most important to you. And you know, deep down inside, you do know deep down inside. I know I should not be saying yes, but I'm saying yes, right? And what ends up happening most of the time? The people who are closest to you get hurt the most, you know, especially you. How do I, you know, deal with that? Well, when I first started this entire process, one of the things I did. I wrote a vision for my life. What I want my life to look like.


    Lesley Logan 13:43  

    Okay.


    Polish Peter Kolat 13:44  

    Right. Because nobody ever tells you to write a vision for your life. They tell you to have a business vision and business plan.


    Lesley Logan 13:49  

    Yeah.


    Polish Peter Kolat 13:49  

    But nobody tells you to have a vision for your life. So I wrote it out. What does that vision look like? On one piece of paper, in present tense. And then I created a calendar that I started putting pieces from that vision to my calendar, so I started putting things in my calendar to make sure that these spots are not taken up. So, for instance, morning routine that I have in the morning, that's in the calendar. Then I put down 3:30 in the afternoon. I had the gym that I wanted to go hit the gym. Then at 6 o'clock, eat dinner. I actually put that in my calendar. People pleaser, we don't do that. I actually put in my calendar. Then between 10 a.m. and 2:30, 3 o'clock, those are my work hours because what ended up happening after my divorce, I want to make sure that I want to pick up and drop on my kids at school. So you know the drop-offs and pick-ups started like you know 9 a.m. and then I started going and seeing, you know, picking up the kids from school about 2:30, so that was a hard kind of a bounce, right? Hard deadline. And the way I was able to say no to people from that point on is because I knew myself that was going to have a hard time saying no. I would say when someone would ask me, "Hey, can you do this for me?" And I would say, "Well, let me get back to you." I think that's okay for people to say it.


    Lesley Logan 15:05  

    Yeah. 


    Polish Peter Kolat 15:05  

    And then I would go, and I would say, hmm, look at my vision. I go, does this align with my vision? Is this going to help me with my vision, or is going to take me further away from my vision? And majority of the time, it would be a no, would be take me away from it. But I would go back and I would say, listen, I would love to do this for you and with you or whatever because I do. That's the people pleaser.


    Lesley Logan 15:28  

    Yeah.


    Polish Peter Kolat 15:28  

    However, my vision doesn't allow me to do that.


    Lesley Logan 15:31  

    Yeah.


    Polish Peter Kolat 15:32  

    But guess what I did? I blamed it on my vision. I'm no longer the bad guy. The vision is. You know me. And then we had the discussion. But that's how I was able to go and eliminate the whole people pleaser thing.


    Lesley Logan 15:42  

    I, okay. First of all, everyone who needs to literally write down in your notes, let me get back to you. Thanks for this. Let me get back to you so you can copy and paste it. So it's just you don't even have to think about it because you're gonna think about it and you're gonna overthink it and you're gonna rewrite it 17 times and you're gonna say yes to the thing because that was faster. So love that. And then I do love the blaming. It's not alignment with what's going on right now. I have, you know, every day someone's pestering me for something, and I have just been, oh, this, that's not gonna, I can't add one more thing to the calendar right now. But I love that you thought about me. Thank you so much. And it kills me because it's like, oh my god, I should, I should be doing more of that. I should be doing all the shoulds, right? But I, Polish Peter, you and I are very similar. I definitely think that you have to know who you want to be, where you want to go, and it has to be in your calendar. Absolutely, must be in your calendar because if it's not in your calendar. It does not get done. But of course, you have to put dinner on in your calendar because if it's if you're someone who's I fuel myself, I take care of myself. It's got to be in the calendar, otherwise you won't. Because hello, I'm ADHD, and I just realize why am I so hungry? Oh, I forgot breakfast. I didn't. I didn't look at my calendar this morning. I really appreciate that. You know, there's a course like the master class and the what's her name? Who, The Devil Wears Prada is based on? She has a course and she says she always thanks people for the work that they did, and then she will just say we're moving into a different direction right now. Thank you so much for that. We're moving, so you don't have to explain anything anyway. You tell the people the new direction. You don't have to overexplain yourself. It's just not in alignment with what is happening in this moment. So thanks so much. Okay, so now let's go back to the optimistic depression because how did you get out of just the habit of saying you're good, everything's great, I'm great. How did you get to be someone who who isn't fake because to me that's faking it right. That's not a Be It Till You See It thing. That's a faking. I'm faking being happy because I'm supposed to be happy. So how did you step out of that habit?


    Polish Peter Kolat 17:33  

    Well, one I had to recognize that I can't hide it. It's impossible to hide it. People can see it because they were coming up to me, so guess what? The people pleaser in me didn't like that, right? Because guess what happens that they can see it. You know what I mean? So that's one. And two, during the whole awakening process, I started looking from all the different beliefs that I've had. Like I said to myself, like what the hell is wrong with me? So my brain went into the conversation. Well, here is the reason what's wrong with you because you got to be very careful the types of questions that you ask yourself because brain is going to give you the answer. Right?


    Polish Peter Kolat 18:10  

    What kind of answer is it going to give you? Well, the one that satisfied that question and it's going to go back to your past and your circumstances and all those kinds of things going to tell you the answer. So as I started looking from that perspective, I started discovering different beliefs that I formed over my course of the life, and then I ask myself, does this help me to get where I want or is it actually hindering me because are these beliefs from the place of fear, worry, or they're actually from the place of abundance I want to live? So then I discover most of them were not, you know, like the people pleaser. I think it's there is a fear-based kind of a way of living, people pleaser, because for me, one of the big things that I discovered that I wanted to feel important, like I matter, like I'm, you know, someone acknowledging me, those kinds of things. So people pleaser with me will say yes to everybody because I wanted to be the guy, right? At the end, it actually costing me a lot. I started discovering that what's costing me, and then I started basically creating a new belief system. You know, getting back to that authenticity, because if I look from that perspective, think about it: when we were four or five years old, were we fearful? Probably not. Were we curious? Heck yeah, we were. Kids are very curious. They're happy. They're in the moment, right?


    Lesley Logan 19:26  

    Yeah. 


    Polish Peter Kolat 19:27  

    They are just full of you know whatever. So what if I just started doing that? You know, I mean, what if I just got back to that basics of it?


    Lesley Logan 19:35  

    Yeah.


    Polish Peter Kolat 19:36  

    And I was beginning to be more present, more intentional in life, and I think that's what helped me get out of this thing. Because what ends up happening? Think about people who are depressed. A lot of times, they are never in the present moment. They're in the in the past or in the future.


    Lesley Logan 19:50  

    Yeah, yeah. 


    Polish Peter Kolat 19:52  

    So hope that makes sense. 


    Lesley Logan 19:53  

    It does. It really does. It's, you know, like they say, if you live in the past, you're going to be depressed. If you live in the future, you're going to be anxious. It's really hard to be in the present. It can be hard to unravel those habits of not just people pleasing, but also trying to hold everything together when you know you don't want people to know that it's not all there. So I really appreciate you sharing that because I think it's really helpful. You know, you're obviously in a different place now, and I would love to hear your Be It Till You See It for attracting the partner you have now because it's not easy to go through a divorce and change like that. Like, do you want to dive into that? Because I read your notes and I thought, oh my god, this is so funny! I hit a rock bottom in 2013 and single and no car and no place to live and blah blah blah. And so I was like, okay, if I want to have a great partner in my life, I have to make space for them. And I had to, and I was, I had to work extra because I had no, I had to buy a new car and get a place to live in L.A.. And so I was like, how am I going to add a partner in this life if there's no life in this life? Like there's not space. So what I did was every morning I poured two cups of coffee. I poured one for me and one for the future Brad. I was like, I'm gonna be with someone who drinks coffee, and I'm making coffee in the morning. That's what I'm gonna do. And then I protected Thursday nights. I'm like, okay, Thursday nights I will say yes to nothing except for a potential date. And if on the day of I don't have a date, then I'm gonna do something for myself. But I'm protecting this for the person I want to be with, so that I can actually go on a date to meet someone. So, what about you? How did you? How did you become someone who could have someone in your life?


    Polish Peter Kolat 21:29  

    Yeah, I love that. By the way, the little things that you did. By the way, did you drink that second cup of coffee? 


    Lesley Logan 21:34  

    Yes, I did. I became like I had. I'm a two-coffee girl. 


    Polish Peter Kolat 21:37  

    All right, so you were like ready to go, right? 


    Lesley Logan 21:40  

    Yes, yes. My day started early, so I just put one in a to-go container and one with me, and I definitely needed that. 


    Polish Peter Kolat 21:47  

    All right, very cool. So listen. So the way I've approached this, is this, I wrote a vision for that future wife, you know, and I wrote a vision from the perspective of who do I want that person to be like. What are some of the maybe the musts, right? Like for instance, I have three kids, so she has to like my kids. My kids have to like her, right? I'm Christian, right? So she's hopefully going to be Christian. I want her to be Christian too, right? And so many different things, right? And there was must, shoulds, should nots, can't, right? All those different things, and then based on these qualities that I wrote on that piece of paper, big page. I mean, it was I don't know, maybe 30, 40 items on there. It was a huge, you know, and because I had this very elaborate kind of vision. And by the way, one that guy Jason Wojo, he actually encouraged me to do this, and I resisted it for a very long time. And then he finally found the wife. I'm like, well, maybe there's something to that, you know. So I finally wrote it and found this girl in January of 2016, and we started dating, and she was meeting these kind of qualities. What had me be able to go and find this girl? Because at the end of this vision that I wrote, I had to ask myself a very sovereign question, and that is this: Who do I need to become in order for that woman to actually show up in my life?


    Lesley Logan 23:07  

    Right.


    Polish Peter Kolat 23:07  

    Because if I'm a deadbeat and I don't want a deadbeat, then guess what? She's probably not going to look for a deadbeat. So who do I need to become in order for that woman to show up in my life?


    Lesley Logan 23:17  

    Yeah.


    Polish Peter Kolat 23:17  

    So that's the things that I started putting into my life to create this, you know, for instance, one of the things I used to do as a people pleaser is this best foot forward kind of a thing, right? When we go meet someone, yeah, I would show up differently, like I'm all put together or whatever might be. What I've discovered is that actually doesn't work very well for me, so I just like let's be authentic, right?


    Lesley Logan 23:42  

    Yes.


    Polish Peter Kolat 23:43  

    People say you have to wait two days to call the girl after you see her. Well, we went on a date, right? I texted her the next morning and say how was everything. You know what I mean? So you start breaking the rules of what the society says how it needs to be. Because if it's the right person, guess what? She's not gonna care either, right? And that's what basically started it all. And here's the thing, crazy thing, Lesley. But the first girl in January dating her, she didn't align because she was not emotionally available for me. Guess was not in that vision emotionally available.


    Lesley Logan 24:18  

    Oh.


    Polish Peter Kolat 24:18  

    So then we went our separate ways, found another girl in what was like March, April of that year. In June 1st, we started dating, and we started dating. And I know that she's very political, you know. And I'm like, man, she talks about politics a lot. And I'm well, if her political views or my political views are sort of similar, and I go in my vision. Guess what's not under the political views. So I added that in there. But I'm like looking probably category of a should, right? So we kept dating, and today we're married. So it's, you know what I mean, it's when you look from the perspective.


    Lesley Logan 24:56  

    I love this story because I think I went to a college where all the girls wrote the list of what they want in someone, and I was just, okay. That's great. You do need to know where you're going. We all have to have a map. Yeah. But also, so many people don't then look at what they need to attract that person. And when you're, if you're finding that you're not attracting the right person, there is, it's hello. It is you thing. It's not a them thing. A lot of people like to blame the dating pool out there, but it's like yes, and also if you keep attracting that person, there's something you're putting out into the world that is a magnet for that. We either repel people or we attract them, and I want to repel people who are not for me always, all the time. I don't want to be someone who's a magnet for things I don't want. So I love that you were okay. I love this, and this is what I want. But I need to be the person who this person would want. And then it's true; people don't realize that when a relationship doesn't work out, it's not like a failure. It's just information on, oh, I didn't realize how important this thing was to me, or actually, I didn't realize that this thing was a should, but it has to be a must because I thought it would I be okay with it, but I'm not, and that's it's just all information that we have to go out and we get to do and we get to figure out and we learn about ourselves dating these people. I love that so much. I think that's so cool.


    Polish Peter Kolat 26:10  

    That's why I said like it's most people there's a big missing element when people don't do this. You know what I mean? That's like who do I need to become? I think that people never ask the question because they're kind of worried and afraid what they might what the answer might be, and they're not willing to grow into that person.


    Lesley Logan 26:22  

    Yeah, yeah. Well, because it means letting go of stories that don't serve you.


    Polish Peter Kolat 26:27  

    Exactly. Because these stories, some shape or form, they do serve them. That's why they're holding onto them.


    Lesley Logan 26:33  

    I agree. I agree. Polish Peter, what are you most excited about right now?


    Polish Peter Kolat 26:38  

    Well, the one thing I'm most excited about is in the book that I released last year, I just want to make an impact in people's lives and be able to help them grow in their own life. So that's the thing that kind of that's my next mission in life, kind of thing.


    Lesley Logan 26:50  

    That's so cool. Okay, well, tell us about the book. Writing a book is not easy. You had to become a writer.


    Polish Peter Kolat 26:57  

    And I'm a talker, I'm a writer. You know what I mean? 


    Lesley Logan 27:00  

    Yeah. How'd you do it? How'd you go from being a talker to a writer?


    Polish Peter Kolat 27:03  

    Well, I will tell you this: one day at a time, kind of a thing. I start with just one paragraph, one paragraph, one paragraph, and then end up being a book, like a 43,000-word book. I was surprised. I even surprised myself. I was like, "What? No way!"


    Lesley Logan 27:14  

    I don't even know how many words are in a regular book. How is that a lot? 


    Polish Peter Kolat 27:18  

    No. So this is about 180-some pages. 


    Lesley Logan 27:21  

    Okay, that's a good size book. Yeah. Okay. All right. Authentic Self Rebirth. I love it. Okay. 


    Polish Peter Kolat 27:25  

    Authentic Self Rebirth. So, basically my own journey, and I'm looking to help people get back to their authenticity. That's the whole book.


    Lesley Logan 27:32  

    So okay, I want to because I love I want only authentic people in my life, and then also because of the internet, the authenticity word has been totally bastardized, ruined. But I don't think you. I think it's still important to have. So, what does authenticity mean to you? How do we know that we're being authentic?


    Polish Peter Kolat 27:52  

    When you're true to yourself, you know what I mean? Think about it this way: we all know deep down inside whether this that who we are is actually like, if you feel like there's something missing, you know, I have this question: like something's off, something's missing, something is not there. Do you know that you're not being your authentic self? And then the other aspect is that if you're living from the stories of what the world told you to be, how you need to be, and we all have this because at some point, Johnny, when he was in the second grade, he raised his hand and he was all excited to give an answer that two plus two equals three. You know what I mean? And the whole class laughed. And now Johnny decided that I'm never going to raise my hand again. I'm never going to speak up because I want to make sure 100% that I'm right. That's you being inauthentic, you know what I mean. Because now, because the world told you that you need to, you made the decision that I cannot speak up, and I think that's what happens for a lot of people that keeps them away from being fearless, to being courageous, being going out there and making things happen in life. You know what I mean? Because I think we all can impact somebody else's life. So when you start looking from that perspective, I had to. When I went through after the divorce, I noticed that a lot of the stuff that I was being was inauthentic because I wanted. I felt like there was deep down inside. I was supposed to be doing something else or being someone else, but I was just performing. There you go. That's the word. It's not about performing; it's about being. Yeah, and I think most people are performing.


    Lesley Logan 29:24  

    Yeah.


    Polish Peter Kolat 29:24  

    Especially on the social medias.


    Lesley Logan 29:26  

    Oh well, that's what it's for.


    Polish Peter Kolat 29:28  

    Yeah, exactly.


    Lesley Logan 29:30  

    I mean, my favorite compliment. My listeners have heard this before. I was, it was 2019, I want to say, and I was in Australia, and I'd finished teaching these workshops, and I wanted to go to this one store before it closed, and so the host was driving me to the store, and we're having some fun. We're in the traffic, whatever. And the host, one of the hosts, is, "You're the same person in real life that you are online." And I.


    Polish Peter Kolat 29:51  

    Right.


    Lesley Logan 29:51  

    Yeah, I don't know. I actually don't know how to be anybody else. I I don't actually know how to do that. Maybe that's the AuDHD in me. Like I don't actually. I really. Don't know. I can only really be myself, and so thank you for that. And it's it's difficult because what happens is people get rewarded for performing, just like little Johnny learned, don't raise your hand, you'll get laughed at. Other people learn, I get attention if I perform, and so it's hard for people to be authentic because on either side, you know, there's these pressures to be something else, or pulling you to be something else. So I agree. A lot of people do perform instead of being. So that's I like. I think authenticity is when you're being. I love that. Yeah.


    Polish Peter Kolat 30:31  

    Because think about. I used to hate my accent. I want to get rid of it as much as possible. I actually because I will tell you this. Doing events around the country now, right? We, you know, and so I speak in front of people. My team, because we have a team that runs it, there is in the back of the room there is a thing called Peterisms, the words and phrases that Peter says that maybe people don't understand or sound something different. I am not allowed to say the word shift because it sounds like something else. Okay? However, guess what? Do you think that stops me from being me, kind of a thing? No, no. And I think that's what I think is missing in life, that authenticity than just being, because people are always looking from the perspective. I need to looking good, right? I think that's another thing that drives a lot of this conversation.


    Lesley Logan 31:20  

    Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's so interesting. I, you know what, I don't know a single person who likes the sound of their voice, and I don't even, you know, I'm always oh, I don't have an accent, and then I go places that, you know, I do have an accent. I love your accent. I'm, what are you talking about? I don't have an accent because I'm from California and we don't have an accent. But the people in the South, you sound like you're from California. So.


    Polish Peter Kolat 31:41  

    I hear you.


    Lesley Logan 31:42  

    Oh my gosh! Well, I I think you know what's so fun about this Polish Peter is we're all going to be on a journey, and the more we learn about ourselves, the more the better we get at being ourselves. You know, so thank you for going on this with us and sharing your book and your story with us. We're going to take a brief break and find out what people can find you, follow you, be inspired by you. 


    Lesley Logan 32:03  

    All right, Polish Peter, where do you hang out? Where can they buy your book? Where can they learn more about how to be their authentic self?


    Polish Peter Kolat 32:09  

    Well, they can find the book. By the way, thank you so much, Lesley, for having me. It was great being here. They can find the book at myauthenticrebirth.com. That's myauthenticrebirth. They can pick up the book and just pay for shipping and handling there, or literally anywhere the books are sold, like Amazon, Barnes & Noble, anywhere. And you want to hear more of this accent. You want to hear more of these kinds of mind-shift kind of videos. Instagram channel that I'm constantly under. It's called Authentic Self Rebirth. That's the name of the channel.


    Lesley Logan 32:39  

    I love it. Okay, you've given us some really great tips. I mean, quite honestly, like people can be it till they see it with most of what we just talked about. But what bold, executable, intrinsic, or targeted steps can people take to be it till they see it?


    Polish Peter Kolat 32:51  

    Be it till they see it. Be literally every day. Be with yourself. Like get in front of the camera, or get in front of the mirror and just be with yourself, and see when you are feeling comfortable or uncomfortable. And you know what ends up happening because most people do not like looking at themselves, right? And do not like being with themselves. So every single day, I would say, get in front of the camera or get in front of the mirror that you just be with yourself and just be quiet. I used to sometimes I do this exercise in our events, and if you want to do this, do that with your spouse or someone that's very close with you. Stand or sit in front of someone that's maybe a foot away from you, and just look at each other quietly without saying anything for five minutes. It will be the one of the longest minutes in your entire life, and you're going to see so many different emotions, so many different things in each other, and it's one of the most powerful exercises I've done with people because you don't say anything, but you are talking the entire time. That makes any sense?


    Lesley Logan 33:57  

    Yeah, yeah. Oh, I agree. People don't sit with our thoughts very much, and it's true. I definitely had no idea that most of my job would be me looking at myself in a camera. You know, you got to do it. It's a you got to do it so you can get over the things that you don't like about yourself, and also get excited about the things you do like about yourself. And you know, I think that's really a really good thing, and I also think so many of us are so busy in our head we're never with ourselves. So I love this. I love this action so great. Polish Peter, you are fabulous. You guys go get his book and share with Polish Peter and myself what were your takeaways, what landed with you. Share this with a friend who needs to hear it. Maybe you have an optimistic depressed friend who just needs to be called out in a kind way. They won't know until they get to this part that that's why you send it to them.


    Polish Peter Kolat 34:45  

    That's right.


    Lesley Logan 34:46  

    And you know, I think we all have a lot of us have people pleasing to work on. You know, and it's one of the biggest things you can do for yourself. So, thank you for your inspiration, your tips, your wonderfulness. And until next time, everyone, Be It Till You See It.


    Lesley Logan 34:58  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


    Brad Crowell 35:41  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 35:46  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


    Brad Crowell 35:50  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


    Lesley Logan 35:57  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


    Brad Crowell 36:01  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    36m - Sep 15, 2026
  • 732. Stories We Need to Keep: Remembering 9/11

    Lesley Logan shares her thoughts on the 25th anniversary of 9/11 in this Fuck Yeah Friday, sitting with why remembering the people behind that day matters more the further away from it we get. She shares a funny win about making a new friend at almost 44, and a listener win from a Pilates instructor who called her own class a banger.


    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.


    In this episode you will learn about:

    • Why it's important to keep the stories of 9/11.
    • Lesley's experience and where she was during that day.
    • Reunion with a former podcast guest that needed no apologies.
    • A listener win on teaching a successful all-apparatus class. .
    • Why it's important to recognize your own value.


    Episode References/Links:

    • Homicide: New York – https://www.imdb.com/title/tt31556143
    • @etain_pilates – https://www.instagram.com/etain.pilates
    • Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions

     

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

    DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

    Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

    Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

    Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

    Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

    FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/


    Resources:


    Follow Us on Social Media:

     

    Episode Transcript:

    Lesley Logan 0:00  

    It's Fuck Yeah Friday. 


    Brad Crowell 0:02  

    Fuck yeah! 


    Lesley Logan 0:05  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 


    Lesley Logan 0:48  

    Hi, Be It babe. How are you? Happy Friday! I just looked at the date on this episode, so I also want to just acknowledge that it is September 11th. Today is our Fuck Yeah Friday episode. It is the episode where we can have a little vent moment. We get to share some wins. We do an affirmation. We just are human beings together. And I just want to say, I'm recording this in the past, and I don't know how today feels for a lot of us. You know, I had a whole different thing to vent about, but I think what I most am sad about on this day, as we approach, it's like the 20-ish, it's the 25th anniversary of 9/11, and I know it's hard for people to watch videos and go back to that time. And I also feel like the further we get from it, the more we forget it happened, and it happened, and it affected people tremendously. And I was watching this show on, I think it's on HBO. It's Homicide New York, and it's a Dick Wolf thing. So it's real detectives doing homicide. So it's SVU, but not because it's the real stuff, and they're real New Yorkers or real cops. And however you feel about that, it's really interesting stories. And on the last season that I watched, the last episode was on 9/11, and they told their stories, and they showed these videos, and they showed these photos, and they talked about their families, and they talked about wearing a suit and running, and the health things that they've had afterwards.


    Lesley Logan 2:12  

    And I think I just want to say, I do understand how hard it can be for us to, every year, watch the video of the attack, but I do think it's important that we remember the stories of the people whose lives were lost or affected by this day. I think that that is one of the most patriotic things we can do in a world where it feels hard to be patriotic. To be honest, I don't feel that way about the fourth, but I just want to say on this day, I felt so far away from it when I was when it happened. I was in college in Southern California, so far away and so young. I didn't have a TV, you know. I didn't even get to see any of the footage because all the only TV that I knew about was in the women's dorms, and we couldn't go there. And so I really felt so far away and unaware of how it affected people, the economy, and so I was reading it in People magazine, you know, that kind of thing. So I'll just say, it took me a little longer than I would like to be completely, fully immersed in all that happened. It makes me sad today that there's people who'd even challenge that it did, or how it did, or why it did, and you know, so I miss the time when we just all got together and really loved each other. So, if you lost anyone or you were affected in any way by 9/11, my heart is with you today, and always, because we can't pretend like those things didn't change us, whether or not you were an 18-year-old at college and unsure of what the world was, or you were in New York, right? Gotta take care of each other. 


    Lesley Logan 3:50  

    Now, win my win for today, and it actually has to do with I made a new friend, right? This is a funny win, but I like to share it because I'm an adult. I'm almost 44 years old, but I'm, I made a new friend, and it was really fun. We were, we, she's been on the podcast, so we talked, and I was on her podcast years and years ago, and then we just didn't connect again. And then she thought of me for a thing, and she invited me, and we just picked up where we left off. No apologies for, hey, it's been six years since we talked. None of that. It was just like, and we were vulnerable with things in our life and just honest and no competition whatsoever. We're actually in the same sort of industry when it comes to coaching, and I mean different. She's in fitness and I'm in Pilates, but it was just nice to be with a person and talk. And our husbands got along. We got along with each other's husbands. It was just so much fun, and I just, it just was really nice. And so my win is, I could have easily not gone to the thing, because Lord knows I had 17,000 things to do. I could have easily not hung out for lunch because they need to drive home and I have a thousand things to do, but I think we both needed time, and so I've made a point to make sure that I reach out to her regularly because I am notorious for Aquarius brain. You're in there, and I'm thinking of you. But I just want to say, I don't say yes to everything, but if you are feeling lonely, if you're feeling you're alone on an island, then you should say yes to an invitation. You can always leave. Okay, you always leave. 


    Lesley Logan 5:23  

    Okay, your win that you sent in. This is from @etain_pilates. I apparently taught a banger of a class last night. My girls just loved it. It was all apparatus. Congratulations! That's so wonderful. Good for you. You know what? I love when a Pilates instructor acknowledges that they're fucking badass at what they do. Too many people in the Pilates industry are telling themselves a shitty story about how good they are as a teacher or how were they as a teacher, and all that is doing is allowing these VC firms to come in, open up studios with fake equipment, poorly trained teachers. Those poor teachers don't even know that they're poorly trained. They don't know. They think that they're getting a great job doing the thing that sounds so cool. Looks so cool on Instagram, and meanwhile, the most amazing teachers are over here going, "Oh my God, am I good enough?" Well, you are, you are. So thanks for sharing your win. My loves, topics, wins. Send them in to beitpod.com/questions. I want to hear and share your wins. You will want to hear them on days that are hard, like today, because you are doing some great things in this world. You're making magic happen every single day. You're being it till you see it.


    Lesley Logan 6:26  

    Oh, here's your mantra. This is so good. I am my greatest ally. I am my greatest ally. Babe, you are your greatest ally. So go Be It Till You See It.


    Lesley Logan 6:37  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


    Brad Crowell 7:19  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 7:24  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


    Brad Crowell 7:29  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


    Lesley Logan 7:36  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


    Brad Crowell 7:39  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    7m - Sep 11, 2026
  • 731. Most Decisions Are Not That Big of a Deal

    Part four of the Listen to Yourself series moves from analysis paralysis into aligned action. Lesley Logan makes the case that a dysregulated body cannot make a decision that will still feel good tomorrow. She walks through the reality check she runs on every big opportunity, why most choices are experiments rather than permanent sentences, and what changed when she lowered the stakes on a health decision she wanted to rush. The goal is not a flawless choice. It is trusting yourself to handle the outcome.


    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.


    In this episode you will learn about:

    • The energy exchange to negotiate when a yes costs extra capacity.
    • Why treating a decision as too big keeps you from starting.
    • What an exit strategy reveals about a choice you are avoiding.
    • How to tell a spacious decision from an impressive one.
    • Where the outsized pressure on everyday choices actually comes from.


    Episode References/Links:

     

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

    DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

    Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

    Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

    Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

    Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

    FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/


    Resources:


    Follow Us on Social Media:

     

    Episode Transcript:

    Lesley Logan 0:00  

    You don't want to make a regulated decision and then get dysregulated doing the decision. We don't want to do that. Have a reality check. How does this fit in with my current systems that I need? And if I say yes to this and it imbalances something, that doesn't mean it's a no. It just means I need support around that imbalance. 


    Lesley Logan 0:15  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.


    Lesley Logan 0:58  

    Hey, Be It babe! Welcome back to our part four of the listening series, listening to yourself series. Today we're going to move from analysis paralysis into aligned action. We live in a world full of so many pressures and pressures that we put on ourselves, pressures that we think people are putting on us, pressures of just what the fuck is going on out there, and we have to make choices. And there's pressure to make everything that we do look impressive or exciting, so people on social even get excited about it. And it's actually just destroying all of our peace. I was on the Balanced Body podcast, Pilates Perspectives, and I said I'm a reluctant social media person because the reality is, is I really don't like when I have to post things for the likes of it all and the shares of it all. I actually just want to post what I want to post about, and that's kind of how I've moved on with my life. But I feel that pressure to make sure that I look impressive on paper because people are trying to sell tickets to things that I'm going to. So I hear you, I feel you, and it is destroying our peace.


    Lesley Logan 1:55  

    And so we're gonna talk about throwing out the pressure of making a flawless choice because sometimes we think we have to have it all figured out before we can tell people about it, or if we can move forward, and that's not helpful. Instead, focusing on making sustainable decision based on listening to you, so we're gonna help choose that next step so that you can enjoy the next 10-plus years of your life, but without having to solve the next 10-plus years of your life, because that's really difficult to do. Just look up at the last 10 years of all of our lives. Do any of us expect this to happen? No. I cannot believe I'm sitting here recording this episode. At the time I'm recording, I've lived here in Vegas for six years and one month, and I can tell you right now that in 2019, I was not planning on living here until 2023. So shows you what we know about being able to solve the next 10 years.


    Lesley Logan 2:44  

    Okay, so first thing we need to make sure we're doing when we are making decisions and going inward is that we must first be regulated. So we've talked about this in past solo series, but if you are in survival mode, if you're in burnout or panic, if you are really struggling right now, I actually think that the most important thing you can do in making decisions to listening to yourself is actually find a way to regulate. What do you need to do? Is it going to see a therapist and then you can make decisions? Is it journaling? Is it listening to some music? Is it taking a hot bath? What helps you get out of the survival mode, feeling, energy, situation, so that you can then make a good decision? Because I never, I'm, I don't say never. I have made exactly the right decisions from a bad place, but the way I handled it wasn't how I would have liked if I had just waited an hour a day to then do the response. I might have still made the same response, but how I would have handled it would have been different, and it would have created less aftermath. Right? 


    Lesley Logan 3:53  

    Brad and I were talking about something yesterday, and I was just like, "You, you can send this email." And he was at the end of like, I'm just gonna wait till tomorrow because I want to get my thoughts out. And so I think it's just how beautiful when you understand that you're dysregulated. You cannot make a great decision that's going to feel good tomorrow. So get regulated and then make a decision. Do you need to write the thing down? I need to make a decision on this. Okay, great. Then leave that posted out. Go regulate yourself, and then make a decision. You'll just feel better. It'll be so much easier to hear you because otherwise you're hearing those other voices in your head, right? The ones that are not really you. There are different versions of you. There are different people in your life that somehow moved in. 


    Lesley Logan 4:34  

    This is an interesting thought. It came up in my research. I think it has some validity, but I also want to do everything in moderation. So, does this fit your actual life reality check? So, there are big offer opportunities that are going to come in your life, and you do need to consider your current situation, health, energy, and the season that you're in. Because the opportunity might be really great on paper, but a terrible timing right now if you're going to lose sleep or sanity, and so I don't want this to be a rule you live by. Because we adopted Darla, and our actual life reality check, we have a tour in two months, and ideally we'd be home for three months with her before we went on tour because we really want her to be in the routines. We want her to be trained. She's still jumping on people, blah blah blah. So obviously, adopting Darla is a great idea because I was listening to myself and I was, I really love this dog. She's fucking cool, and I can get other dogs with this dog. So I would just say, when doing the actual reality check and listening to yourself, I would make sure that if moving forward you feel expansive, as we talked about in the last episode and the first series of the listening series, if you feel expansive and it doesn't fit the actual life, then I probably would still move forward, but figure out how you can move, how you can make it work. So, for example, with the Darla situation, I said we can adopt her if you can find a trainer who can see us eight times before we leave, because we have eight weeks and I want eight connections with a trainer with her. So we did that, and we found a trainer who'll work on our crazy-ass schedule because it felt expansive to have her. It felt fun to have her. 


    Lesley Logan 6:16  

    So another situation I can share with you: there's an organization that reached out to me, and they want me to teach for them next year. And I have been very adamant that I'm not saying yes to anything before May of next year because I have so much going on, and I want to be home to work on it. And I don't want to be distracted and on planes. And so this opportunity is big, and it is after the timeline I've set. So I'm not having to hem and haw and go against something that I said I wouldn't do, but I also looked at where I am in this season of my year. I've been gone for three weeks. Can I still balance everything that I've already committed to in that month on top of being gone for three weeks? The answer is actually kind of yes, I can. And also, if I'm gonna work a little extra hard to make sure I can balance it, then I have to also ask for X per day, because I'm gonna need the energy exchange to be there, right? Because I can't work extra hard to make sure I get my other commitments done in time to be present there, and then get paid half what I need, because while it is fun and it'll be great on paper and it'll be really impressive on social, it does have to refill my cup and money as energy, right? 


    Lesley Logan 7:30  

    So when you're looking at these big opportunities, you do need to think: Am I losing sleep for this? I'm doing something in the end of this year. I said yes to an event, and it's going to cause me a little extra travel, and I just made sure that I have hotels covered so I can get there a day early. I can stay a day late so I can get my sleep and get caught up on my work before I'm on a plane for 25 hours. Right? 


    Lesley Logan 7:54  

    So there's just some things you have to think about a second longer because dysregulation doesn't mean that you're always triggered and anxious. It could be, oh my God, this is the coolest day. I'm so excited that you're not even thinking about the ramifications of the yes. So listening, right, and then asking for help so that you can take on the amazing opportunity without sacrificing the things that keep you sane. You don't want to make a regulated decision and then get dysregulated doing the decision. We don't want to do that. Have a reality check. How does this fit in with my current systems that I need? And if I say yes to this, and it imbalances something, that doesn't mean it's a no. It just means I need support around that imbalance. What do I need to hire, do, get? Right?  


    Lesley Logan 8:30  

    Third, I think sometimes we have to, in listening to ourselves and making decisions, we do need to lower the stakes a little bit. We tend to think of choices as an experiment or permanent sentences. This is how it's going to be forever. If we can actually think of our choices like this is an experiment, I can try this out. I can always go, "Oh my God! I know I said yes to this, but this is not working out." And for the most part, I mean, there's contracts involved and things like that. But I am maybe annoyingly so quite communicative. I think I could say yes to this. Here's why I have to have everything into you by, so I can stay on top of the other commitments I already have. Here's when I would like to do it by, if that works for you. I had somebody ask me for X, Y, and Z. It wasn't really a decision I could make. I had to do it, and I just said yes. You will have it by Monday of next week. If you need it sooner, let me know. But I wasn't expecting to have to do this this week. So, if you don't mind, I'd like to get to the end of day on Monday, right? And that way, I am telling them I'm a very busy person. I heard you. I see you. I will get you what you need, but this is when you can expect to get it by. That way, they're not bugging me because I don't. I'm someone who's not anyone bugging. I don't want any. I don't let anyone down. So, know that most choices are experiments, and you can change things, especially if you communicate that in the first place. Oh yes, I would love to do this. However, I can only do it on Tuesdays and Thursdays, or I would love to do Y, but I can only do it on the weekends. I have a girlfriend. I'd love to see you, and I can see you on this weekend any day after 2 o'clock. So that way, it's not a perfect sentence because I would hate for it to go. Oh yeah, I'd love to see you. 10 a.m. on Saturday. I'm like, oh, I can't do that. And then I feel like an asshole. No, I literally put it out there in the first place. So the more you listen to yourself and feel, I feel expansive. But this is what has to happen. Great, just share that. It's often not a death sentence, right?


    Lesley Logan 10:19  

    This opportunity Brad was thinking would go one way, and we got information that it's like it's going a different way. And he was so frustrated, and I feel all of your frustrations. And I'm not seeing how this is a bad thing, because we can go yes with all this, and we can go back to this other place and go here's how we can work with you, and it's actually on them. And while it would suck if they don't want to work with us in this capacity, then it wasn't going to be beneficial for us, anyways, right? So lower the stakes of the decision you have to make. Get really clear on it because I think sometimes we think we treat everything like the way parents are treating college. Oh my God, if you don't get into this good school over here, you're going to be a deadbeat. And then that turned in from college to the particular high school that you have to get into, and then that went to the elementary school you have to get your kid into. And if you go to L.A., you are trying to sign a baby up you haven't even had in your body yet, because they got to get into that preschool. Otherwise, they won't get into that elementary school, and they won't get into that, and they won't get into this. Most decisions are not that big of a deal. There are ones that are. There are some decisions that are massive deals, right? There's health decisions that you really have to think about, and that really are going to affect your life. You know, I got information about my breast cancer risk, and when I first got it, it felt like I have to just make this decision, and then that actually made me feel anxious, trapped a bit, frustrated, pissed off. It did not make me feel expansive. It made me feel like it was going to control my life. Then I actually went back to our last episode, got an opinion of someone who went through a very similar thing, just a different experience. She actually did have cancer, and her honesty with me was so beautiful. And then I got information from someone else who also went through something very similar, but even more serious, and that helped me understand. Oh, I'm in a really good situation. I lower the stake. I'm actually getting actually have someone checking on this twice a year. So for right now, the decision that I need to make isn't making me feel expansive. It's making me feel anxious. So let's lower the stakes a little bit. The doctor isn't as concerned as I am treating this right now, and I can take some time to really explore this and treat it like an experiment. And if I was to go with this route, you know, does that feel expansive? What are the pros and cons of that? What does that make me feel like? Okay, that, how does this option make me feel? And I can take the time. And that's even with an important decision. But I do have the time right now. I have the time. Go get your mammograms, ladies. Go see if you can get checked for your risk levels because it's really, really important to me. 


    Lesley Logan 13:01  

    Okay, I think we tend to put some decisions that we have to make in that same high-stakes scenario when they're not there. And so, what if you played around? What if you set the stage? What if you set the tone? What if you set the boundaries? If you was going to go this way, what would you need? That's so helpful, and that's listening to yourself because what I don't want is I don't want you to make a choice that's bold and amazing, and then you second guess yourself, right? I don't want that. I know what that feels like, yeah. And sometimes we do it anyways because you know we're like, oh my God, I got into this. I have the person who can still do it, but that's very different than was that the right decision. I should have done this thing, right? Because of course you're going to have moments where you're doubting yourself, and that's when you get back into whose opinions of you matter. Why are you doing the thing? Listening to your body is that voice that you're hearing even yours? Whenever I'm like, oh my God, how am I going to do this? It's not me. It's the scared people in my my life who were afraid to ruffle feathers. If I listen to me, actually, I don't really worry about ruffling feathers that much. Thank God for being Aquarius. 


    Lesley Logan 14:12  

    All right. So your homework assignment, your Be It Action Items. I want you to take some time to take a decision you have to make, and is this decision leading you toward something that looks cool to outsiders, or is that decision actually spacious and sustainable for you? So, are you making a decision based on what you think other people want you to do, or what other people will think? Are you making it based on what is sustainable and spacious for you? 


    Lesley Logan 14:40  

    The next one is really interesting. I haven't done this one in a while, but if you were to take the next step and you actually hated it, what is the exit strategy? So I do like this one. I just haven't done it in a while, and it is really a good one. So what's the exit strategy? And that kind of is the same thing when you start any business. By the way, you're like, how do I want to exit it? Because how you want to exit actually talks about how you want to set things up, and it can change. But obviously, it's better if you know. So, what's your exit strategy if you actually do hate it? What would you do, right? Because if it is a concrete wall that you created in making this decision, it doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. It just means you need to listen a little bit more because it might not be. And then, if you have a way to reverse a decision, then you can do that. 


    Lesley Logan 15:20  

    Lastly, I want you to take a moment and journal about if you're delaying taking action because you're kind of too obsessed with the next decade. Because I do think about, oh my God, in 10 years I'm going to be 53 years old, and then I'm oh my God, how am I going to get the things that I'm working on now to be in the place that I want them to be, so that at 53 years old I could be working on my retirement exit, right? So let me just tell you, you may as well hit dysregulate as a button on my body. It will freak me out. It'll make me actually put too much pressure on everything. Nothing good will come out of it.


    Lesley Logan 15:55  

    So I I want you to ask yourself if you're delaying making a decision because you're making the decision too big and too important. What if you just took one tiny, tiny step of the decision? What if you dipped your toe in the water? Right? Can you take one step and get more data so that then you can listen even more to yourself? Those are your homework and journaling assignments for when you're making decisions and how to listen to yourself. I hope this was helpful. I also just want to say we often worry about the success of decisions we're making, but we define what success means to us, right? If you define what success means to you, if you really define and it really is your definition, you might even find that you're already successful. Then it's not about making a flawless choice. It's about trusting yourself enough to know that you can handle whatever outcome happens. You can whatever the decision is. One of my favorite coaches said, "Your business is not as fragile as you think it is." And I like to think about that on most decisions we have to make. For the most part, they're not gonna create fragility in our life. There are some things that are really big deals, and I hope that we only have to make those decisions. You know, like someone is on life support. That's a big fucking decision, right? Hopefully, they already wrote it down.


    Lesley Logan 17:18  

    But our brain doesn't know how to prioritize what we're going to wear today versus how do I want to invest my money versus like should I call that job back versus you know it doesn't it creates everything as the same pressure so we have to be the ones that actually take that pressure off right and know that we can handle anything. You've succeeded all your worst days you're still here. Thank you so much. I have one more action step for you. I would love for you to identify one decision you've overthinking. It's one decision you've been overthinking. Can you check in with your body, ditch the need to be perfect, and just choose a next align step. My loves, we have to be self trusting before we will ever see the self-trust in our lives, we have to Be It Till You See It. 


    Lesley Logan 18:08  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


    Brad Crowell 18:51  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 18:56  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


    Brad Crowell 19:00  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


    Lesley Logan 19:07  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


    Brad Crowell 19:10  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



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    19m - Sep 10, 2026
  • 730. The Advice Audit: Who Actually Gets a Vote in Your Life?

    For some of us advice feels like support. For others it's one more voice to manage. Wherever you land, Lesley Logan borrows a Brené Brown question to sort through the crowd of opinions we collect from mentors, friends, and family, and figure out whose opinion should matter in the first place. Maybe it's time to notice that the smartest people in your life are often smart in a lane that has nothing to do with yours.


    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.


    In this episode you will learn about:

    • The difference between receiving advice and absorbing advice
    • Why other people's advice is really about their fears and limitations
    • Not every correction is meant for every body on every day
    • How to notice when advice creates urgency, shame, or people-pleasing
    • Feedback is information, not instruction


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    Episode Transcript:

    Lesley Logan 0:00  

    When it comes to knowing what to do next, I think the problem often in being it till we see it, in taking action towards our goals, is that we actually have collected so many opinions about the next step, we have forgotten our own opinion, and we have no idea what to do. We almost have too many options.


    Lesley Logan 0:16  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 


    Lesley Logan 0:58  

    Hello, Be It babe. Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It podcast. It's a solo week, so we're talking about listening to ourselves again. You guys love that series so much. We're taking it to the next step, which really is this one's near and dear to me because I think there's actually this happens a lot in the Pilates industry a lot. So I might use my Pilates experience to talk through this idea. So you don't have to know Pilates to, you can insert anything, massage, engineering, whatever it is for that. Hopefully, I think. So, when it comes to knowing what to do next, I don't actually think the problem is that you don't know what to do. I think the problem often in being it till we see it and in taking action towards our goals is that we actually have collected so many opinions about the next step, we forgot our own opinion, and we have no idea what to do. We almost have too many options, right? It's like when I go to the Cheesecake Factory. I don't because I know how big the menu is, and I don't even know where to start. What let me know. 


    Lesley Logan 1:53  

    So in this third part of our listening series, we're going to talk about the discernment and advice overload, and because I don't want you to not have outside feedback, but I also don't want outside feedback hijacking your internal signal, right? I want us to be able to break down how you receive input without absorbing all of it, so that you can, one, stop asking for permission from people who aren't even in the same place as you or going to the same place as you, but also discern, like when should you absorb it? When should you let it? I get so much advice unsolicited all the fucking time. I would be in an insane asylum if I absorbed most of it. And I think part of having a little bit of the, not a little bit, part of being ADHD is that I do forget a lot of it, so that's good. Part of being ADHD is that I have a sensitivity to rejection, so sometimes I don't want people's thoughts and opinions to, if I don't take it, I don't want them to feel bad. But I've had to learn through a lot of almost burnout. How do I go, "Oh wow, thank you so much for that. I can see how that worked for you," right? How do I have a nice way? And maybe you have to come up with those nice ways so that you can receive information without absorbing the things that you don't need. So first, let's talk about how do we receive without absorbing advice. 


    Lesley Logan 3:05  

    So I've talked about this concept a few times on this podcast, but just in case you're new, hi, and just in case you need to hear it again, we need to have a boundary between listening to someone else's perspective and letting it trigger our anxiety or creating an urgency that's outside of the pace we want to go, or creating shame in our own nervous system. So we do have to have a good awareness of ourselves and how we operate and how our systems function. And this is where getting to know yourself is really important. And how do you do that?


    Lesley Logan 3:34  

    Sometimes it is figuring out your operating system. Right? I have an autism and ADHD systems that I've discovered, and now everything makes sense, including the Aquarian in me. Knowing that it actually explains why some things activate me more, some things make me feel more anxious than other things should. So, knowing yourself is really, really important. But when it comes to receiving advice and information, we do need to have some sort of filtration. So, for me, this piece of advice that I heard on a podcast 15 years ago was from Brené Brown, right? Our wonderful Brené Brown, which is having awareness around whose opinions of you or what you're doing matter, and then have them on a list, have them on a piece of paper, and then making sure that they know that.


    Lesley Logan 4:17  

    So there are people in your family, in my family, in our lives, dear friends, who think that they're being helpful with the information that they're giving, but it is coming from a place of their own situation, right? And so we do need to be aware. Like, you know, you would, if you are trying to go to dental school, you are not asking me, you are not coming to this podcast for dental school advice. I actually don't know much about that. I know what I want a good dentist to do and be, but I don't know where, what the best schools are. I don't even know how the best you research that. I don't know how long that would take. You would ask your favorite dentist or the dentist that inspired you, right? You would ask them, and so having clarity around the area that you're going into, the steps you want to take, and making sure that you maybe even take a moment to go, "If I'm going to share this information with people that I'm doing this, whose advice am I actually going to listen to, and whose advice am I going to let go one ear and out the other?" Right? How am I going to just go, "Oh, okay, great." And I don't want you to think that I'm flippant or that I don't appreciate people's time in telling me what they think, but honestly, advice I got today was that I need more dogs. I would love more dogs, but I don't need more dogs. And if I were to absorb that information, I would actually start to think about how to get more dogs. And really, my goal right now is creating a teacher training program that actually works really well, right? So the way that I am actually filtering even the podcast that I listen to is: Does this have information that can support the place I'm going, or is it creating fear? If it's creating fear, I have to stop listening because fear is not going to help me feel confident in what I'm doing, but if it is, "Oh yeah, that is actually good information to keep in mind," then I can write it down. I can take a moment to absorb it, right?


    Lesley Logan 6:08  

    So really, take notice in your day about when are you just receiving information or when are you letting it stick with you. You know, I was listening to a podcast the other day and I heard some bad news. Has nothing to do with my life, technically, but it was playing on repeat in my brain. Hold on, this is confusing my next steps on this thing because I'm so distracted by this thing that has nothing to do with me right now. You know, so having awareness is going to be really, really key. Which brings us to, I've been kind of dancing around this, but I'm going to dive in deeper. The danger of misaligned mentors. So most people's advice for us is a reflection of their fears, their limitations, their values, not yours. Now you guys might align in values, right? There might be some that are very similar. They may even have the best intentions, but oftentimes there's fears in there, right? As they ask questions, they're really trying to get their own, and often it's subconscious, their own fears quelled, but it can actually stir up yours. So a story is Brad and I've talked about my mom's dad, my grandfather.


    Lesley Logan 7:13  

    We stopped telling him where we were traveling because he was, "Oh, that's so dangerous. That's this, that's that." And it's first of all, I live in a country that is actually on 134th or 37th in danger. So come on, it's not up there with safety. It's not in the, it's down at 137 because it's unsafe. So he lived a life of fear of people, fear of traveling, and so if I had listened to him, I would never have. And I have people in my life who did listen to him, and they saw nothing, you know. And I feel really bad because honestly, I think travel is one of the best things you could do to realize that we're more the same than we are different. 


    Lesley Logan 7:49  

    So when we are sharing or soliciting opinions from people, we do need to make sure that those mentors are in alignment with us, right? We do need to really explore that. For example, a lot of people who teach differently than me ask me questions about how to teach X, how to teach Y, and often are disappointed in my answer or confused because it is different than how they were taught. Well, I'm not trying to confuse them or disappoint them. I only know how I was taught, and I only know why I still believe what I teach based on my own research, my own curiosities, my own studying. Right, so I actually cannot speak to how they were taught that exercise, and so unintentionally, they have asked a misaligned mentor, even if they like me. Misaligned mentors do not mean they're bad people, right? I don't think I'm a bad person, but if I'm not in alignment with how you want to teach, I can be a confusing person to go to. Now please keep coming to my tutorials. Please keep asking me questions. But also, I'm going to come from my own lens, and that's human nature. I cannot come from your lens. I didn't live your life, right? That goes for any mentor. 


    Lesley Logan 8:57  

    I had some really, there were some really great coaches that I had invested in, and people told me that they would be really, really great for my business. And they said how much they were great for their business. And you want to know what? They're probably great coaches, and they were completely misaligned for what I was doing. They had no experience in the area I was in. Now I would say that's on them because they sold me and they told me that they could help me. I did not know that they did not have experience in what I do. I was trusting the opinions of other people. So really making sure that as you're looking for mentors, as you're looking for people to be in your ear, in your corner, that you are aware of your values first of all, that you can figure out what their values are, and when you ask for advice, if you are bothered or disappointed or frustrated by some of the advice you get, ask follow-up questions. "Oh, why would you say that? Why do you think that? Oh, where is that coming from?" They might not even know, but if you ask them, it might help clarify. So, for example, when people go, "Oh, I just had someone who listens to the podcast who was talking about the Wunda Chair springs on mine are really hard to change, and I don't have that experience because my life experience with the chair is easy for me to switch the springs. But based on their life experience, it's not. So my follow-up question was, "Oh, tell me more about what you're used to. Tell me how you're doing it," right? So that when I give advice, it can be in alignment with the goal that they're having. So it really is a two-way street. Most, hopefully, hopefully you're choosing mentors of people who actually want to be a mentor, and they've taken time to understand what that looks like. Sometimes we pick mentors who have no idea that they're your mentor, and that goes back to what I said about Brené Brown. She says, "Who are the people whose opinions matter, and do they know? Do they know that?" Because that can also weigh differently, you know.


    Lesley Logan 10:42  

    How, if I know somebody is, for example, people who are in my eLevate program, I weigh how I give them answers to their questions differently than someone who's just randomly asking me on YouTube. Why? One, I know them. I know what they're going to do with the information. I know who they're teaching. I know what equipment they're on. Someone on YouTube, I actually don't know what equipment they're on. I don't know what they're doing with the information. I don't know where often the information is coming from. So I have to give, I have to give an answer that's in alignment with what I believe and what I think, but it can't be as detailed and nuanced because I don't know the context that is being asked in. Right? Who gets to be information that you absorb? Who gets to be information that you look from and you look to? So something that's really popular in Pilates today is cue, cue, cue. Correct, correct, correct, correct, correct, correct, correct. And the reality is, is that the one that's unhelpful for people to always be correcting them. It's not how people learn. It's not how motor learning works. In fact, if we only focus on people aren't doing well, we are not ever taking time for them to do something well, right? And so, if you're in that class where everyone is, where the teacher is cueing and cueing and correcting and correcting, and you hear something that was meant for somebody else, but you apply it to your body, you can get hurt, right?


    Lesley Logan 12:04  

    My husband was in a yoga class. We'll just use yoga for this example because this is really interesting. My husband has a lot of hypermobility in his joints, and the teacher was giving a correction to several people in the class, and Brad went to go do it, which meant he overcorrected in the exercise, and the teacher goes, "Not for you. Not every cue is for you." Part of doing yoga is understanding when a cue is for you, right? And so the teacher actually had to, for a long time, give the class a correction and then go, "Not you, Brad," right? Because if you have not created the muscle that allows you to know when to integrate and when to just let it go, it's very easy to overwhelm yourself. And this is what I see in Pilates teachers, they're studying from so many different people. As, by the way, you should have, you should in your life experience different mentors. So I'm not trying to gatekeep there, but if you're trying to study from me and three other classical teachers, you're going to get four different voices in your head, right? And we're probably all even saying somewhat of the same thing, but we come at it from a different approach based on who taught us, based on our own body's experience, based on our own experiences teaching it to people. And if you are trying to take all four of those opinions and go, "Well, how do I apply it to my exercise here?" You are going to be confused, and you're going to feel stuck. And then you got to go back to our stuck series.


    Lesley Logan 13:29  

    So, I have homework for you, right? I have some Be It Action Items, if you will. I want you to take some time to think about who is in your vote audit, right? List the names of people whose opinions you are going to consider, and maybe you might even think about in what scenarios. I'm absolutely going to listen to my mother-in-law's advice on cooking. Of course, I am not going to listen to her advice on anything that has to do with my entrepreneurial business, not because she's not smart. She's fucking brilliant. In case you're listening, hi, she's brilliant, right? But she doesn't know my experience, what it, what my life is like being on the internet, being something that people talk about, being someone who has an impact that they want to make, and in doing that, will disappoint some people, right? So it's important you have to write down whose opinions of you matter, and maybe in what categories. My mother's an incredible school teacher. Some of her tips for teaching are really applicable to what I do, and also she's a first-grade school teacher, she's not a Pilates teacher.


    Lesley Logan 14:38  

    So a lot of it isn't because I don't teach in those kinds of formats. I don't have that many students at the same time. They have learned how to read. There's, you know, there's different things. So there are some epic people in your life who have great ideas in narrow areas. The next, if you don't want to do that here, or you can in addition to, I want you to think. Think about the last piece of business or lifestyle advice you received. Did it make your body feel expansive and open, or did it create panic or pressure or a sudden urge to people please? So your body, right? This is the listen to yourself series. Your body is telling you when something feels good, and if people's advice makes you feel like you need to contract, take up less space, that is information for you. Doesn't make the information wrong. I'm not saying that I can't say what's right or wrong. I don't know what the information is, but I want you to notice what it does, because if maybe the information is accurate. Maybe you wanted to go for a hike tomorrow in this amazing space, and somebody says that is going to be terrible. There's a lightning situation that's going to happen and flash flooding. That might make you create panic or pressure or disappointment. That doesn't mean you don't listen to the advice, but it may be okay. Well, maybe I have to focus on why I want to do this in the first place, and what can I do instead? Right? How can we do that? So just notice because your body is telling you things about how you feel about information and what you want in this life. 


    Lesley Logan 16:12  

    What to do next. Lastly, your last piece of homework or journaling. Who is currently giving you advice or influencing your choices? And so if we did an audit, who do you want? But this is different. Who is it currently? Do you actually want that in your daily life? I did a podcast little adjustment because I just kind of noticed that because I love my morning routine, and I was noticing that between my podcasts and just checking in with the Instagram in the morning, that I often started the mornings feeling a little bit, oh, right, and so I was just, what podcasts am I avoiding? What podcasts are kind of making me feel bored or not making me feel uplifted? So I got rid of some. They're great podcasts, by the way. I would definitely recommend them. There's nothing wrong. It's just that in this place where I am right now, they're not making me feel expansive, and so I'm in search of podcasts that I can learn more from and be inspired by, especially in this fucked-up world we're in. Maybe there isn't a person. Maybe you're just scrolling so much. I have a lot of people that I coach who are making way too many decisions based on what the founders of Meta are fucking doing. Oh my God, why are we letting these billionaires control the actions that we take to make the impact we want? I fucking don't like them either. I'd love to get the fuck off these platforms. However, I have to be where my people are, right? I have to. So I'm gonna do that and hope that I get rich enough to tell them to fuck off. So hopefully that gave you some inspiration. Sometimes we're giving people too much control over our lives. Yeah, and we're losing the goal. So you gotta listen to yourself. So you cannot step into your own authority if you are constantly looking around to other room to see if everyone approves of your path. That is going to be a nightmare. I actually just texted somebody whose opinion matters in the industry that I am in. It doesn't really matter either way for me. However, if what she had said had been negative, I probably been like, fucker. What does she know? But also, what she said back to me was so beautiful, and I was, oh, I didn't need her approval, but I liked having it, right? But I didn't ask for her approval before I started the thing. I started the thing before it, so just be mindful.


    Lesley Logan 18:40  

    It's okay to want approval in your life, but if you are waiting for that approval before you step out on a path, if the lack of some people's approval has you turning around, I highly recommend you take some time to just really get clear on who you are, what you do, what your values are, because you know I do this in Profitable Pilates, we have people who whose clients complain about a rate increase or a rule, and they're like, "I should change it because this person doesn't like it." It's like this is your business. They cannot like it. They don't have to take Pilates from you, but you are the one who has to live with this business. You're the one who has to pay the bills at the end of the day. You're the one who has to go to bed at night. This is your impact you want to make, so it would be nice if your clients liked the changes, but we cannot use how they feel to determine what we know we have to do for the betterment of our goals and the people that we want to make an impact on. Right? If a client constantly late cancels and never pays the fee because they don't like it, they are keeping someone else who could be very much more consistent and very much needs that time from getting to work with you. So not only is that person screwing you over, it's screwing someone else over. So if you can't make changes based on you, you certainly need to think about the people that it's affecting when you don't listen to yourself.


    Lesley Logan 20:03  

    All right, my loves, we're gonna be back later this week with our fourth episode in the listening series because once we have cleared out the advice overload, we can reclaim your voice, and so we're actually gonna do that so you can make a good choice in your life. So make sure you turn into the next episode and do the homework between now and then. I would love to hear what you think of these solo episodes. Share this with a friend who needs to hear it. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.


    Lesley Logan 20:24  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


    Brad Crowell 21:07  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 21:12  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


    Brad Crowell 21:16  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


    Lesley Logan 21:24  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


    Brad Crowell 21:27  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    21m - Sep 8, 2026
  • 729. Why Real Growth Requires Sharing the Load

    Lesley Logan celebrates the week her upLift teacher training program crossed into its next phase, with educators applying to teach alongside her for the first time. She shares an honest rant about six years of Las Vegas construction cones, a breath work win from the eLevate group, and a two listener who shared their win. It's a reminder that a goal that keeps on moving is not a goal you are failing at.


    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.


    In this episode you will learn about:

    • Why every vent in Lesley's community must arrive paired with a win.
    • Living around constant construction cones in Las Vegas for six years.
    • What upLift looks like now that trained educators are stepping in.
    • Community wins from breath work to 600th milestone celebration.
    • This week's affirmation about being understood for your own perspective.


    Episode References/Links:

     

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

    DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

    Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

    Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

    Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

    Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

    FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/


    Resources:


    Follow Us on Social Media:

     

    Episode Transcript:

    Lesley Logan 0:00  

    It's Fuck Yeah Friday. 


    Lesley Logan 0:01  

    Fuck yeah! 


    Lesley Logan 0:02  

    Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.


    Lesley Logan 0:48  

    Be It babe. Hi, welcome to our Friday episode. How are you? Oh, it's a Fuck Yeah Friday, and it really is a fuck yeah. As Brad would say, my goodness, this year, I knew when I went on my vacation in January, this year was going to be one of those years where I just put the pedal to the metal, and I'm grateful for it. So, so grateful for it. And this last week, I just did something I've been looking. It's been on the books, right? But I'll share that one in a second. Because first, hello, welcome to Be It Pod. On Fridays, we celebrate a win of yours, a win of mine, and something that we do with our members is if we want to vent about something, then they have to share a win. So, I'm venting with you because this is where I get to vent. It's my podcast.


    Lesley Logan 1:25  

    So, if you don't know how the local Las Vegans live, we live around construction grounds. Okay, so my little vent moment is, I have lived in Las Vegas now six years and three months, and in six years and three months, there was construction on the main road to my house. You'd have to make a left on. It was on so long that when they moved the construction, then Brad missed our turn. That's how long the construction was there. We moved here with construction, and it was on so long we didn't know what our actual turn was. And they, my friends, they moved the construction to the road perpendicular, right, the cross street, and so that construction was so bad that people oftentimes were in the wrong lane multiple times, and now that construction has just moved a little bit further south and then a little bit further east. And guess what? I either have to sit in traffic to go further south and go to all my appointments, and not have traffic when I make a left, or I make a right, and I have no traffic until I have traffic right where I have to park. And so I just had to say, I'm really tired of the construction cones because they literally do it on all of the streets all at the same time, all the time. I don't even know you do that. I don't even know you do that. I want, in fact, want to invest in stocks and orange counts. That's what I want to do. 


    Lesley Logan 2:43  

    All right. So now that I've vented, do you understand what I mean, though? I live in L.A. All right, I lived in L.A., and they would be working on the street for a year, right? Because they're widening the roads or widening the 405 or whatever they're doing. You know what they would never do? Do it the same fucking time. They would never let Wilshire have construction and then also Santa Monica, or Olympic, or even any other street within three miles north or south, because you can't screw with people's lives like that. And if Lesley takes public transportation, I would love public transportation to be more accessible for everybody, not just for me, but for the actual people who need to go and drive somewhere every day. I do not have to do that, so this is just a really stupid vent.


    Lesley Logan 3:20  

    But anyways, my win, my win. So as I started to get into it, because I was so excited about this win. So as you know, I've been working on upLift, a teacher training program for new teachers or partially trained teachers, and this last week, the applications been rolling in for the educators, and I am just so pleased to punch for the people who are braving this new world with me. I am so honored and grateful, and I'm proud of them for being in a place where they've elevated to the point where they're like, "Yeah, I can teach this shit." So my win is that the stage has been set, and we are on the next stage of this goal that I've been working on. Because, you know, not every goal is done. You've little parts like the construction; it just moves up the road. But this is the good guy. So I'm at the next phase of this program, and I'm now no longer doing it by myself. I will have educators to do this with me, and I'm just freaking excited. So yeah, so that's what's going on. If you are wanting to know more information about my upLlift Teacher Training Program, go to xxll.co/uws. We've got to get a main link for all this stuff. Anyways, that'll be a win when I get that. 


    Lesley Logan 4:20  

    In the meantime, a win of yours, and then a little mantra. So this is from @lorilwatson. Had breath work with you. Oh, Lori Watson, fucking love you. I love you, and she has Winsday, Wednesday, Winsdays, or like Fuck Yeah Wednesdays and Fuck Yeah Sundays in the eLevate group. So Lori, thank you for doing breath work with me and @matandspring, "Passed my 600 today!!!" Fuck yeah, get it, girl. Oh my goodness, I am just, you guys are amazing. So you send your wins in to beitpod.com/questions. You can also send in topics you're wanting to do solo episodes on. Today, as I record this, I'm also going to record some solo episodes for a new theme that you guys requested. So beitpod.com/questions. This is where you send that, and as you know, when you support OPC, you are supporting this podcast. So you can support OPC by buying our flashcards or becoming a member, joining our amazing community. So go to onlinepilatesclasses.com. Thank you all so much. 


    Lesley Logan 5:13  

    Here is your affirmation for the day: I am understood, and my perspective is important. I am understood, and my perspective is important. My love, you are understood, and your perspective is so important. Now go have an amazing day, and Be It Till You See It.


    Lesley Logan 5:33  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


    Brad Crowell 6:15  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 6:20  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


    Brad Crowell 6:25  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


    Lesley Logan 6:32  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


    Brad Crowell 6:35  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    6m - Sep 4, 2026
  • 728. Be True to What Your Body Is Telling You

    Perimenopause is basically reverse puberty, and it can run 10 to 15 years before you are on the other side of it. Yep! Lesley and Brad recap the conversation with Dr. Amy Loden, covering what your bloodwork leaves out and why giving birth works like a stress test that reveals the health issues that were already there before you got pregnant. They also spotlight AFSP for Suicide Prevention Awareness Month.


    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.


    In this episode you will learn about:

    • Why women need to pay attention to their bodies during perimenopause.
    • What "you're within range" bloodwork actually leaves out about your health.
    • How pregnancy acts as a stress test that unmasks chronic health conditions.
    • Why frequent hot flashes may signal a higher risk for heart disease.
    • Updated hormone research helps you make decisions without outdated fears.


    Episode References/Links:

     

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

    DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

    Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

    Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

    Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

    Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

    FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/


    Resources:


    Follow Us on Social Media:

     

    Episode Transcript:

    Lesley Logan 0:00  

    What better way to be it till we see it, but to listen to our body? Because it's kind of hard to become the version of yourself you want to be if you're not listening to the version of yourself that you are.


    Lesley Logan 0:08  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.


    Brad Crowell 0:51  

    Take it away.


    Lesley Logan 0:52  

    Welcome back to the "Be It Till You See" interview recap, where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the informed convo I had with Dr. Amy Logan Tiffany in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to the interview, you missed on some good fucking stuff. Oh my god, I felt like my jaw was on the floor a couple of times. It was so good. But listen to this, then go listen to that. And spoiler alert: I already interviewed her for the second one. Yeah, I just did it yesterday.


    Brad Crowell 1:16  

    Wow, awesome!


    Lesley Logan 1:17  

    Because I was just, oh great, you're back, and it was really, really. It's a really nuanced conversation. I'll explain more later. But today, Brad's going to tell us what today is.


    Brad Crowell 1:26  

    Yeah, today's September 3rd 2026, and it is Merchant Navy Day. What is a merchant navy? You ask. Let's start with what it's not. The regular navy is a branch of the countries of a country's military responsible for national defense and maritime security. In contrast, a merchant navy or the merchant navy is a civilian commercial fleet that transports cargo and passengers globally to support international trade. So effectively, they work for a company that moves products around the world.


    Lesley Logan 1:53  

    You could be a merchant navy person and work for multiple different companies.


    Brad Crowell 1:57  

    That's right. So it has nothing to do with military. It has everything to do with being a ship pilot on a cargo ship, or even a deckhand, or whatever. If you're working in the ports, I'm not sure if you're on ports, if you're part of the merchant navy, but if you're on the boats that are driving around the world, you're.


    Lesley Logan 2:12  

    Like part of the merchant corporate.


    Brad Crowell 2:17  

    Sure. Not a pirate. 


    Lesley Logan 2:19  

    Good, but a pirate.


    Brad Crowell 2:20  

    Pirates are real, so yeah, they're definitely not pirates. Okay, yeah, but the merchant navy actually would fight pirates. They're.


    Lesley Logan 2:26  

    Like a consumer sailor.


    Brad Crowell 2:28  

    Yes, yeah, it's like a, yes, that's right, a commercial sailor.


    Lesley Logan 2:32  

    Commercial sailor.


    Brad Crowell 2:33  

    Yes.


    Lesley Logan 2:34  

    Yeah.


    Brad Crowell 2:34  

    Yeah. But it's probably not sailing a boat so much as it is sailing a vessel. 


    Lesley Logan 2:38  

    Vessel, yeah.


    Brad Crowell 2:39  

    Anyway, so Merchant Navy Day sails into view every September 3. Cute, a dedicated time to honor the invaluable contributions of merchant seafarers worldwide. These brave men and women ensure the flow of goods, fuel, and food that powers our daily lives and economies. Take a moment to learn about their sacrifices, support maritime welfare charities, and recognize their often unseen work.


    Lesley Logan 3:00  

    I couldn't imagine they're probably on these boats for months at a time.


    Brad Crowell 3:04  

    Oh, months.


    Lesley Logan 3:04  

    Months.


    Brad Crowell 3:05  

    Months. I mean.


    Lesley Logan 3:06  

    Months on one plate, and then have to come back. They might not ever see their family.


    Brad Crowell 3:09  

    Yes, yeah. So it's absolutely the case. And for example, when I used to work in skin and hair care, we used to manufacture the, the glass was actually manufactured in Korea, and so I would have to organize the factory to take it to the port, and then the port would put it on a, it would be in pallets, and then the pallets would get loaded into a container, those 40-foot containers, and then the container would go on this massive cargo ship, and then it would drive across the ocean. It's


    Lesley Logan 3:41  

    Like the size of cruise ships, but just for products.


    Brad Crowell 3:43  

    Yeah, and then one year there was a strike for the union workers at the port in Long Beach, and I remember our cargo ship got stuck in a line. Lesley, there was a line of 50 cargo ships.


    Lesley Logan 3:58  

    Do you remember? Because during the pandemic, it's even happened. I feel like our friend Joe Lilly had to send a ship out to a ship to get his stuff. It was a whole thing because there's, what the fuck? We got to get these products off the ship.


    Brad Crowell 4:09  

    Yeah, and that's very dangerous to do that stuff, you know, on the open water like that because there's just complicated.


    Lesley Logan 4:14  

    Yeah, so pirates.


    Brad Crowell 4:15  

    Well, not. I mean, when you have 50 boats in a row, there's unlikely that there's going to be pirates because there's also going to be the navy, the military, oh, the military navy, yeah, will be out making sure that everything is safe. But still, regardless, yeah, I mean, so they had to sail across the ocean, and then they turn around and they have to go back. But the company that they work for, they might be in a whole other country. It's like an airline pilot.


    Lesley Logan 4:37  

    Yeah.


    Brad Crowell 4:37  

    You know, for example, one time we were flying to Cambodia, and we were flying through China. And I think maybe it was just me. I sat next to a guy on the plane who was a pilot, and he's from Brazil, flies for a Chinese airline, and then his Chinese flights would go to Europe. His home is in Brazil. He had to fly to China to get on his flight, his job, to fly to Europe, back and forth to China, you know what I mean.


    Lesley Logan 5:02  

    Got to.


    Brad Crowell 5:03  

    Move, got to move.


    Lesley Logan 5:04  

    Got to move. Anyway, anyway, we have to point out what's going on right now.


    Brad Crowell 5:09  

    Yeah, what I wanted to point out right now is that at the time of this recording, there are around 6000 commercial seafarers remaining stranded aboard hundreds of merchant ships in and around the Strait of Hormuz following the sudden collapse of a U.S.-Iran ceasefire agreement, so shipping through this vital energy corridor has ground to a near standstill due to the drones and missiles and all the signs that are going


    Lesley Logan 5:33  

    Oh, yeah.


    Brad Crowell 5:33  

    So hopefully by the time you're hearing this episode, trade is going to flow again, and there are no more trapped sailors. But it's been devastating. You know, they're not military. They're just trying to do their job, and they're stuck on these ships. And they're not getting food. And if they're getting sick, there's no way to get to them to even give them the supplies that they need. It's quite a problem. And sometimes it feels like it's getting solved, and then it all goes to shit again. So hopefully. 


    Lesley Logan 5:57  

    I know we're over here talking about our gas prices, but there's literal people whose they're not involved with any country or military, and they're just trying to do their job and they're stuck.


    Brad Crowell 6:05  

    Yep. Yeah. So just raising awareness and a big, big shout out to those who do this kind of work for their job. Thanks for doing all that because you make the world go round.


    Lesley Logan 6:14  

    Yeah. Well, speaking of the world going round, I started teacher training program.


    Brad Crowell 6:20  

    Wow. Yeah.


    Lesley Logan 6:21  

    You know, because we got to keep bringing in new people to the Pilates industry. 


    Brad Crowell 6:25  

    Yes, we do. 


    Lesley Logan 6:25  

    Because some of us are going to retire someday. So, if you heard the rumor that I started teacher training program, I did. I'm here to let you know it's true, and it's called upLift. Starting early next year, you'll be able to find an epic teacher trainer near you that will host my program. I'm going to work alongside them, guiding them and coaching them and supporting them so that they can support you on your journey. So if you are a new teacher or partially trained Pilates instructor, if you want to study under what I've created and my material, you want to go to xxll.co/uws. That's upLift waitlist student, xxll.co/uws. If you're already a comprehensively trained teacher and you're looking for more of a master's program and you want to learn directly with me, that is going to be our eLevate program. That's lesleylogan.co/elevate. We are filling 2028 as we speak. 2027 is full, and only eLevate grads can apply to be an educator for upLift. So, just some food for thought on that. We have been home from our summer tour for a little bit, and we are hanging out. We're doing some good stuff. I'm super excited to be home because it's going to get real crazy real quick. But we want to say thank you to Balanced Body because they sponsored our tour. We're able to go to some really great new cities on our summer tour, and our winter tour will announce in less than a month. And you want to be on the wait list for that, opc.me/events, because the winter tour always does sell out really quickly, really quick, really quickly because we get to hit a lot of cities, a lot of little cities where stuff doesn't go to like conventions and things like that. We get to hit some of our favorite cities. Shout out to Hershey because you always sell out in some places like that. So make sure you are over there. Supporting this podcast when you listen and you share with friends and you leave reviews is one of the greatest things you can do. It's totally free, and I really, really appreciate it. But if you want to continue support the podcast in other ways, if you are an OPC member, that's one of my ways you can do that. And then you get Pilates, and you get support, and you get community, and you get my feedback on your form. So you can go to onlinepilatesclasses.com, or you can also check out our amazing flashcards. Our flashcards are different pieces of apparatus. They're for anyone who loves Pilates. They can be used in a variety of different ways, and you can go to opc.me/flashcards for that. By the way, when you buy our flashcards, a part of your purchase goes to Nevada SPCA. And you might be thinking, Lesley, I don't live in Nevada. Yeah, well, guess what? We got some dogs and cats and bunnies and chinchillas here. Sometimes some lizards that need a home, and you are helping do that. In fact, our last quarter donation supported 114 shelter animals' food for one whole week.


    Brad Crowell 8:50  

    Yeah.


    Lesley Logan 8:51  

    114.


    Brad Crowell 8:52  

    Yeah, that's pretty amazing.


    Lesley Logan 8:53  

    Yeah. So, anyways, you can also get our posters. So there's that opc.me/posters. Okay, this is getting longer and longer every week, Brad. 


    Brad Crowell 9:02  

    Well, this is just quick. So, our upcoming travel stuff. We've got Cambodia coming up in October. If you want to join us on retreat there, get on the waitlist for next year. Go to crowsnestretretreats.com. Lesley and I are going to be in Sacramento for Balanced Body's 50th anniversary party. They have a POT happening in Sacramento, so you can go to xxll.co/pot for more information on that. Lesley's actually teaching in China. We have no idea how to tell you any more information about that. But that's exciting.


    Lesley Logan 9:27  

    I don't have any links. But, I'm teaching in China. The second annual Pilates summit outside of Shanghai.


    Brad Crowell 9:33  

    Yeah, that's in November. Then the beginning of December, you're teaching in India in Goa.


    Lesley Logan 9:38  

    Yeah, and am I crazy enough to go back and forth? Yes, I fucking am.


    Brad Crowell 9:41  

    Because you're flying literally to meet me in Denver, and we go on a winter tour. 


    Lesley Logan 9:44  

    And also, I can't live in any of these places. I have to come home.


    Brad Crowell 9:50  

    Let's roll straight into the charity of the week. September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, and we're very, very excited to talk about AFSP or the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. It is the nation's leading suicide prevention organization, founded in 1987, and now working through 73 chapters in all 50 states, D.C. and Puerto Rico. The AFSP funds research into what actually prevents suicide, trains clinicians and everyday people to recognize warning signs, supports survivors of loss, and it pushes for policy change, most of it funded not by big checks, but by hundreds of 1000s of small donors, just like you and I, showing up during their Out of the Darkness community walks nationwide. So they do an event, Out of the Darkness community walks, and that's what helps raise money. So it's about as trustworthy of a charity as it gets. They get a four-star exceptional rating from the Charity Navigator. Over 80% of every dollar going straight to their programs, and they have a top-rated distinction from Charity Watch, which is the toughest watchdog in the space. The AFSP also recently announced plans to merge with the Jed Foundation, becoming the country's largest suicide prevention organization, spanning every age group, so any donation is landing at a moment when their reach is about to grow. Suicide has touched your life or someone you love, and statistically, for a lot of our listeners, it has. Yeah, this is a place where showing up really helps. Find more, find out about your local chapter by going to afsp.org, afsp.org, and you can actually, in the United States, there is a suicide crisis lifeline. Instead of 911, it's 988, so you can call or text 988 for free, it's confidential, and it's 24/7. Yeah, so I didn't actually know about 988. I knew that there were prevention phone numbers you could call, but I didn't realize that it was as easy as that.


    Lesley Logan 11:39  

    It's important because we all have, we all have hard times. Mental health is a is something that should not be a privileged thing that some insurance companies cover. And then if you don't have that, you don't have that. We all are, no one is immune. And we had a dear friend who actually used to work for the Nevada chapter of the AFSP, AFSP, and I got to see the work that she did for two years, and it's really quite incredible what they're doing just to support people. And I can't think of, like, if you're needing community, what you can go be community for people who need it, and you'd be surprised how that can help. But if you need their help, definitely reach out or go to 988 because this is real shit, you know. So, anyways, what else, Brad? Oh, you guys can send in the charities you want us to shout out?


    Brad Crowell 12:21  

    Yeah, text us 310-905-5534. Yeah, stick around. We're gonna dig into this convo with Dr. Amy Loden. 


    Brad Crowell 12:30  

    Welcome back. Let's talk about Amy Loden. Dr. Amy Loden, based in St. Louis, Missouri, nearly died from severe preeclampsia with heart failure during a high-risk twin pregnancy, an experience that exposed major gaps in conventional care and reshaped how she practices medicine. She's a physician, entrepreneur, and the founder of Vitality MWC, a practice focused on women's metabolic and hormonal health, guiding patients through postpartum recovery, perimenopause, and long-term hormonal balance. She's a TEDx speaker, and she also is the author of the Postpartum Pivot. I will have the link for her book in the show notes below.


    Lesley Logan 13:09  

    Important. If you had a baby, you need the book, and it's not, oh, I've had a baby 15 years ago. I think you need the book still. I think it's about all health stuff that happens if you've had babies.


    Brad Crowell 13:18  

    Yeah, and what a revealing conversation, you know, with her about what it does to what being pregnant and going through that does to the body and how it reveals things. I thought it was really interesting. So yeah. Anyway, what's one of the things you love that she said?


    Lesley Logan 13:34  

    Oh my God, there's so many good stuff. We talked. I mean, we talked about. You've also.


    Brad Crowell 13:37  

    Just blended two conversations. So.


    Lesley Logan 13:39  

    I'm gonna work on not doing that. We're gonna work on. I'm gonna. Well, I mean, you had.


    Brad Crowell 13:43  

    One yesterday. Forget.


    Lesley Logan 13:44  

    The one I had yesterday. So we talked about perimenopause, and it's very interesting because I think the way she talked about us in the past, people have treated perimenopause like yes or no. I don't have this thing. I have this thing. No, I don't have that thing. But actually, the symptoms are a sliding scale for every woman, and we all have to figure out where we are on the spectrum, which means we just have to be paying attention to our bodies, which is not easy to you when you're really busy and you've got a lot going on. But so she also said, you know, you are going to have those unpredictable ups and downs. There are going to be some months where your ovaries are working like fire, and you're just like, I'm amazing. There's other months where you just feel like you got run over by a truck. And I think it's really nice to have a doctor who's a female who says that because usually they're, oh, well, you don't have it that bad or we can give you these drugs to cover up those symptoms, but really she's talking about


    Brad Crowell 14:28  

    Or she said her own experience was, okay, you're within the numbers, see you next time, and that's it.


    Lesley Logan 14:34  

    Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, and also it's like, okay, well, you're within the numbers, but are those the best numbers for you, you know? And so really filling out, you have to figure out where you are. You, my listener, have to figure out where you are, because that will help you advocate for what you need. And it's really important. I'm really grateful for the doctors that I've had because they can. They have said you are within range, but it's not optimal for you. So they were able to give me support so that I could be optimal for me, and I like how she, you know, perimenopause is like reverse adolescence, and it's like this, you know, you're when you're a young girl, you're going through all the puberty, and you have all the hormonal fluctuations, roller coaster rides, and all of a sudden, hopefully, hopefully you have some. I don't know, that wasn't my experience with periods, but like you have this nice, enjoyable couple decades, and then you reverse back. Yeah, it's like a.


    Brad Crowell 15:20  

    Reverse hormone, reverse puberty, reverse puberty. I was like, the word is there somewhere. Yeah.


    Lesley Logan 15:25  

    And somebody said, somebody said, who is the asshole who let mothers go through perimenopause when their daughters are going through puberty? And it's like, yeah, but remember, people used to have kids at 16, so that wasn't happening. Actually, but it's here's the thing: if you actually are really into perimenopause and loving women, if you do some historical work on what women's roles were, and I'm not talking about like the assholes or like what the grandma's roles, I'm not talking about that because I'm not a grandma. But the women who get after perimenopause, they became these healers and these doulas for the women who were having the babies and coming up, and they're also the ones that held the history and the stories, and so if we can think of it like that, it kind of makes us feel like we're going into our queendom, you know, like we're going in something cool. So she said, and in case you don't know this, it can run anywhere from 10 to 15 years for you actually go through menopause. And Brad's eyes just lit up, and just and then we've said on the podcast before, but menopause is one day.


    Brad Crowell 16:21  

    I was gonna say that. Yeah.


    Lesley Logan 16:22  

    It's one day, and then you're like post-menopause.


    Brad Crowell 16:26  

    And then.


    Lesley Logan 16:27  

    You're on the other side.


    Brad Crowell 16:28  

    You're on the other side.


    Lesley Logan 16:28  

    Yeah, and then and then if you're lucky, you get two years before you have the shittiest heart like men do. So like it's really fucking awful thing. So ladies, you want to keep your hormones going real well for a long, long time because it doesn't get easier.


    Brad Crowell 16:44  

    Yeah, she also did mention HRTs. She kind of didn't actually explicitly say that, but she mentioned that all the hormonal research that had been done in the early 2000s, a lot of that has been disproven and also challenged. And there's a lot more information about it now. So, you know, if you have an assumption that you about that that kind of stuff that you've had with you for a long time, I would recommend it's worth revisiting.


    Lesley Logan 17:08  

    I would agree with her. I know I've had women challenge me on this who've had family members with experience of breast cancer, and I understand their experience. But I am someone who has double the risk, and my breast doctor is not opposed to me being on HRT, and my gynecologist is not opposed to being on HRT. I'm not currently on estrogen either. I'm only on two of them, but they're not even opposed to me doing that because the risks of me having heart problems are greater, and I'm on a serious watch. So she.


    Brad Crowell 17:36  

    Did also mention that it's not for everybody. It can't be for everyone. 


    Lesley Logan 17:39  

    No, nothing can be for everybody.


    Brad Crowell 17:40  

    Right. Right. So it's something for you to have that conversation with your healthcare provider.


    Lesley Logan 17:44  

    But I will also, before we move on, I want to just want to say, if you are worried about the breast cancer risks, there are ways to get tested multiple times a year. So I'm on an every-six-month test schedule, and so I still have decisions I probably want to think about, but also, I'm pretty sure they're going to catch it early because I'm going every six months. So it is a personal decision you must make, but please don't make it out of fear from people saying shit to you on the internet. Talk with your doctors.


    Brad Crowell 18:15  

    Yeah, yeah. One thing that I found really interesting about what she was talking about was the way that being pregnant and then going through the process of having a child or giving birth, she said, what it does is it actually unveils what was already there, right? So for her case, giving birth was a stress test on her body, and that it revealed what already was in her body. Yeah, you know, genetically probably.


    Lesley Logan 18:40  

    Wasn't coming up on any tests because it was probably in range. Yeah, we've had family members with this, and it makes me go and go, "Oh my God, we need to text them right now." Because there's things you can do when you're younger to take care of stuff that's harder to reverse when you're older.


    Brad Crowell 18:53  

    Yeah, sure. But she said that, you know, giving birth is a stress test of a woman's metabolism and cardiovascular system. She explained that culturally we view pregnancy and complications as something that where the answer is into the pregnancy and then it's gone. It happened during the pregnancy only and then afterwards they're all better.


    Lesley Logan 19:13  

    Right?


    Brad Crowell 19:13  

    Everything's good. It's gone.


    Lesley Logan 19:14  

    But it's not gone. The underlying condition still there.


    Brad Crowell 19:17  

    Yeah, exactly. She's saying that conditions such as the one she experienced, preeclampsia, it reveals underlying inflammation or insulin resistance that was a previous, you know, something her body was dealing with before. It just all of a sudden was stressed, and that's where something got stuck, right? So she said those conditions are not done after you've given birth. It's just simply something that's been unmasked by the physical toll of pregnancy, and once it's been unmasked, now you can treat it, and it's important to continue to treat it. And I think that's also why Lesley was suggesting at the beginning of the episode that her book is still valuable, even if you've had a child, you know, 15 years ago, because, you know, maybe maybe you did have something that went on. And you haven't looked at it as something that still exists in your body today that you will, you know, hopefully won't have to deal with, but you might have to deal with it as you age.


    Lesley Logan 20:08  

    Well, you have to listen to the episode because I have to listen to the episode because, my loves, women's heart conditions, the number one symptom for a woman having a heart problem is sudden death.


    Brad Crowell 20:20  

    Sudden death.


    Lesley Logan 20:21  

    Sudden death. I like. I think I like peeked the mic when I heard that. 


    Brad Crowell 20:26  

    Yeah, I heard. I heard you in in my office. What?


    Lesley Logan 20:29  

    Yeah, yeah. So and I share that with you because unfortunately there still isn't enough information about women's bodies. A lot of information is still based off of men's bodies, and so tests and studies I've done on men only in the last decade-ish have they said you have to study these things on women, right? But we don't really know a lot of information that we should know by now. There should be information on that, and so why I'm like so insistent on you knowing this information is that when you're younger there are things that might look like they're in range, but if stressed, your body can't handle it. Now, stress is not a bad thing because you can also stress a body, and like your body responds the way it's supposed to.


    Brad Crowell 21:11  

    It gets stronger, and it.


    Lesley Logan 21:12  

    Gets stronger. Sure, but not every body does that because of genetics, because of too much stress, because of the fuel you're having with the sleep, where you are with your hormones. Did you have those things? And so it's just so important that we advocate for ourselves, my loves. Because, and I know, I know insurance is shit. Still got to do it.


    Brad Crowell 21:31  

    Yeah, got to do it. Well, stick around. We'll be right back. We're gonna dig into these be it action items we have with Dr. Amy. Finally, let's talk about those. Be it action items, what bold, executable, intrinsic, or targeted action items can we take away from your conversation with Dr. Amy Logan? She advises women to specifically pay attention to whether their vasomotor systems, hot flashes, night flashes, night sweats—sorry—are happening most days of the week or more than 10 times a day. If you hit that threshold and you choose not to take hormones, she warns you actually have an increased risk for cardiovascular disease or a stroke. Now, obviously, she's not your doctor, right, or our doctor, and she's not. This is like something for you to be aware of to take back to your doctor. But effectively, that's, you know, when she's talking with her patients. That's her barometer. That's her measuring stick. 


    Lesley Logan 22:23  

    Can you imagine 10 hot flashes?


    Brad Crowell 22:26  

    I cannot.


    Lesley Logan 22:27  

    Because I don't even have them. But I can't even imagine. I saw that woman on Instagram where you could like see the hot flash, the one that went around. She had 10 of those a day. You have to take a shower. I don't even how you. I don't even know how you do it.


    Brad Crowell 22:38  

    Yeah. So while it's not a blanket prescription, she says, and not every woman in the category can or should take hormones. She said it's important for you to understand that that, you know, if you're hitting a point like that, you definitely want to seek professional help to get a medical assessment so that you can make a really informed decision about your health for your future. She urges this listeners not to base decisions on outdated fears. The hormones that we take today are different and safer than what was in the Women's Health Initiative that came out in the early 2000s. So, what about you?


    Lesley Logan 23:11  

    She said, "Be true to what your body is telling you." And I think this is really key because I think a lot of times we brush off or push things off or think we ate something bad that one time, or blah blah blah. But really, your body is talking to you, and it doesn't have to. We don't want to wait till it's in crisis, and then we don't want to go, "Oh my god, everything is wrong." We actually, if we were, if we're really paying attention to ourselves, we can start to spot patterns because the doctor cannot be with you every single day, so they are not going to spot the pattern. But you can bring them the pattern, and you are paying attention to yourself. You can do that, and so if you are struggling, you're doing all the things to sleep, and you're not sleeping. That is something you have to tell because your body is telling you, "I don't have the hormones and the things to sleep, which then all of a sudden everything is going to start to shut down in a terrible way when that happens. So make sure you're listening to your body, and you'll become more wise, and you'll even become a better version of yourself. And I thought, what better way to be it till we see it, but to listen to our body? Because it's kind of hard to become the version of yourself you want to be if you're not listening to the version of yourself that you are.


    Brad Crowell 24:12  

    That's true.


    Lesley Logan 24:13  

    Anyways, I'm telling you guys, my mind is blown and.


    Brad Crowell 24:16  

    We already had her back for another episode, so that's going to come out in the near future. Here, what was that topic about?


    Lesley Logan 24:22  

    It's a nuanced conversation about metabolism, and it's specifically for people who are in more of an insulin resistance. So it's not, it's going to sound like it's a weight loss conversation. We are not advocating that everyone needs to lose weight, but there's. 


    Brad Crowell 24:35  

    She was talking about how movement is involved.


    Lesley Logan 24:37  

    Yes, right.


    Brad Crowell 24:38  

    And then movement. How soon after you've eaten should you be moving, and what kind of movement, and then also how often should you be eating?


    Lesley Logan 24:46  

    Yes, and all of that depends on your health.


    Brad Crowell 24:48  

    Yeah.


    Lesley Logan 24:48  

    Right. And your health is any different. The conversation is not about this weight is the healthy weight. It's not that at all, but that weight is one metric in the biometrics, and so we go into if you have this measurement off, what could also be affecting in the other biometrics, and then how do we address that? Because it's all part of the same wheel, right? When we ended the conversation, it's a very difficult conversation because I don't want anyone to be like, "This is for me," or "This is not for me," or "I don't. I can be healthy in sights, of course, and we have to go off of your blood tests and then your weight and your blood tests, and so it's this really interesting thing, and I really appreciate it because there is information. If you don't have any of these problems, you get to do your thing and have fun until hopefully forever. But if you are struggling with certain biometrics in your blood work and your weight is off, then it's not about losing weight, like every doctor tells you. It's about doing these things that she talks about to help you get your metrics to be where they need to be, and then the weight may or may not change, but the metrics will be better. Anyways, it's so good. I'm so excited about it. It's really great. So stay tuned. But until then, make sure that you send this to a woman in your life who needs to hear it because there's some epic medical information that no one has told me shocked the hell out of me. And then you can also reach out to Dr. Amy Loden if you would like to talk with her. If you live in the United States, so share with her what your takeaways were. All right. Until next time, Be It Till You See It.


    Brad Crowell 26:14  

    Bye for now.


    Lesley Logan 26:15  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

     


    Brad Crowell 26:58  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 27:03  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


    Brad Crowell 27:07  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


    Lesley Logan 27:14  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


    Brad Crowell 27:18  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



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    27m - Sep 3, 2026
  • 727. The Health Truth Every Woman Over 40 Deserves to Know

    Ladies, if you have ever been told your labs look normal while your body says otherwise, this one is for you. Dr. Amy Loden is a physician who nearly died from preeclampsia and now builds her practice around what medicine misses in women. She breaks down why pregnancy complications are a warning sign, what perimenopause is really doing to you, and why heart disease deserves your attention more than you think. You will walk away knowing what to ask for and why it matters.


    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.


    In this episode you will learn about:

    • How pregnancy complications reveal health risks that were already there.
    • Why perimenopause symptoms get dismissed as normal aging.
    • The heart disease signs that look nothing like the classic ones.
    • Why good quality sleep matters more than hours in bed.
    • How to eat and move to protect your metabolic health.


    Episode References/Links:


    Guest Bio:

    Dr. Amy Loden Tiffany is a St. Louis-based physician entrepreneur, author, and TEDx speaker dedicated to women’s metabolic, hormonal, and cardiovascular health. After surviving severe preeclampsia and experiencing burnout in traditional, high-volume medicine, she pivoted her career toward a personalized, root-cause approach to patient care. As the founder of Vitality, she guides women through major life transitions—from postpartum to perimenopause—to help them recognize subtle warning signs and prevent long-term illness. Through her clinical work and her book, The Postpartum Pivot, Dr. Loden empowers high-achieving women to listen to their bodies, optimize performance, and take control of their long-term health. 

     

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

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    Episode Transcript:

    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 0:00  

    If we're going to call pregnancy a stress test, which is becoming an increasingly common term, is pregnancy a stress test of a woman's metabolism and her cardiovascular system? Then we have to ask, what are we stressing it for? And the way I'm looking at this is a little bit different than how I was trained, which again was if you got the problem, the solution is in the pregnancy. So what if we started looking at pregnancy from the perspective of this is an unveiling, an unveiling of what was already there, and that nothing's actually gone wrong. 


    Lesley Logan 0:29  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 


    Lesley Logan 1:11  

    Oh my God, Be It babe. Get ready. Get your notepad out. Get ready. If you're driving, listen. You're gonna re-listen. You're gonna share this episode with everybody. I am so freaking stoked about the guest that we have. I fell in love with her with every single answer, and we need women like this in the medical world. So Dr. Amy Loden is our guest today. We're going to talk everything from postpartum to perimenopause and heart health, because ladies, you can't be it till you see it if you get sick, cannot. And I know it's confusing. There's so much information out there in the world, and it's like, who do we trust? What do we do? And I'm just so grateful I found her, and you're gonna love it. So make sure you get ready to hit share on this episode for women in your life and the men who need to know about what women are going through. My mind is blown on the episode. Here's Dr. Amy Loden.


    Lesley Logan 1:54  

    All right, Be It babe, I'm excited. I'm super stoked. We're gonna talk about all things women, health-related, with an amazing professional person who actually studies this stuff, not what I've read, and then I'm asserting to you because I don't want to be that influencer. I think those people need to take a little step back and let the professionals do it. We have Dr. Amy Loden here on the show, who's going to tell us everything we need to know. But Dr. Amy, we tell everyone who you are and what you rock at, kind of how you got here.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 2:20  

    Sure, thanks for inviting me. I'm happy to be here, Dr. Amy Loden. I am in St. Louis, Missouri. I help primarily women over 40, but certainly anyone who's like, "How are my hormones working for my life or not? How is my weight in the mirror matching the weight in my head or not?" And all the things that come with life transitions from postpartum to perimenopause, beyond, my goal is that women who've interacted with our team will have a better care experience because it's the care experience we want each of us to have had ourselves, and because each of us are not only professionals within the medical nursing communities, we're patients too, or daughters and sisters and mothers and neighbors and all the things. We know how much it sucks to be patient, right? And so we've tried to redesign what is the best thing for our ladies. Now, in full transparency, we do have a few dudes, but most of them have had their arms twisted by our rock-star ladies, and they are the ones that are coming because they're forced to. And eventually, they decide they like us, but we're pretty cool too. So that's who we serve, and that's what we do. And happy to go into any detail or rabbit hole you want to chase?


    Lesley Logan 3:21  

    Oh my God, Amy! I love that. When people ask about the people who listen to this podcast, we have mostly women and a few good men because there are some men out there, including my husband. They want to be interested. They want to. They want their partners, the women, their lives. They want to get what's going on. They don't want them to feel like an alien or like they're alone in this journey. So I think that's really, really cool. I also just want to highlight. I love that you brought up your patients too, because as someone who I feel very lucky to go through my perimenopause journey in today's time when people actually are talking about it, versus even 10 years ago, generations were not talking about this stuff, and I just feel it's really nice because then there's information I would never have known about HRT unless my girlfriend had told me about it. Oh, that could be going on, and then I could talk to someone. Can we go back though? Yeah, I feel like to be a doctor like yourself, who has empathy and understands, like you must have gone through a journey as well. You don't just want to do this 


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 4:13  

    Because you wanted to do this. That's true. 


    Lesley Logan 4:16  

    Maybe there are a few. There might be a few, but typically, like there there has there's a story there that got you to be like I want to care about this. So can you tell us a little bit more about that?


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 4:24  

    Absolutely, yeah. So definitely with the traditional college to medical school road, really didn't understand that there's a and I say this with all the love in my heart, but there is a bit of brainwashing to be a good doctor, right? And what is a good doctor was who you've been told it is. It's not necessarily an external criteria. It's who does academic medical center say, and that was very different. I learned through transferring all of my non-medical student fears into the actual application of those fears, and then being a patient and living those fears. That I realized there's a whole lot we're not talking about. There's a whole lot that we're not being told, both as doctors and as women, as patients, and it's hard to realize you don't know what you don't know if you've been told you're the expert and you know everything, right? And most doctors don't go around saying they know everything, but there's enough patients who feel like that's what's communicated, that that's the language I'm using.


    Lesley Logan 5:18  

    Yeah.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 5:19  

    And that's really frustrating as a patient, so I didn't realize how frustrating though it was until I was a patient, and I'm a mom of five kids, my third and fourth are twins, and really I am so grateful to live in the United States in a time in history where complicated pregnancies does not mean that mom dies, because I developed severe preeclampsia with heart failure, and my twins came 31 weeks instead of at least 37, and I nearly died the night they were born. They nearly died the night they were born, and I just am grateful that God let me be in this situation that I had the help I needed. Historically, these are not good situations. We see this on TV and in movies frequently. And something like 70,000 women a year across the globe die of the same disease I had, preeclampsia. So it's not nothing, even in our day and age, in certain countries, and even in countries where you have advanced medical care and they do everything right. It can still happen. So, that for me was the pinnacle of this isn't working. What we're telling people to do isn't working because I had done all the things.


    Lesley Logan 6:30  

    Right, you were a doctor. You did all the things. I did all the things. You enjoyed all the appointments. You were probably doing, and this is your third and fourth. So you knew what it should feel like. You knew what you should be eating. You knew all the vitamins to take.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 6:41  

    Correct, and it didn't work, right? It didn't work, and so I think that is the fundamental kind of if you place a pivot on why did I change how I think about healthcare as a doctor, it was because of my experience as a patient for myself. My husband had cancer twice, so being the advocate for him in those types of things, guiding my children and now my parents through healthcare, you start to carry a lot of stories, and you start to see, wow, they're not doing what I think is just the bare minimum. And if they're not doing that for me or for my family, I know they're not doing it for everybody else.


    Lesley Logan 7:11  

    Yeah.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 7:12  

    And then at the same time, holding a ton of grace in my heart because that's—they're doing what they were taught.


    Lesley Logan 7:17  

    Right?


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 7:17  

    Right. And they can't do differently if they don't know differently. You can't be better if you don't know to be better.


    Lesley Logan 7:23  

    Yeah.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 7:23  

    So that is a really tight tension. But I thought I would just keep plodding through and just be a better doctor in that context of me being a patient until a little—I guess it was two years later. My daughter at that time, my oldest, was seven, and I had about 3000 patients. I was working somewhere between 65 and 80 hours a week, and had four kids at that time. And my daughter came up to me one night, and I'm opening the computer. I'm doing work like I do every night, and she says, "You're gonna make my birthday gifts. Like, can I help?" Right, totally innocent seven-year-old looking forward to her birthday knows that her mom shops online, right? And so she's like, "I want to pick my birthday presents," and I kind of stared at her. I was like, "No, no, I'm going to work. We'll do that later," and go watch whatever show. It's probably Paw Patrol for all I know, right? That's in the background. Go watch it. It's gonna be bedtime soon. And she just stands there, and I haven't even looked at her at this point. My eyes are on my computer. I'm just telling her this as I'm going. I'm totally not in the moment, right?


    Lesley Logan 8:19  

    Of course, because like you have so many, you have 3000 patients and four kids.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 8:23  

     I can't keep up. I can't keep up. Right? I'm barely getting enough sleep. I'm not exercising, and I'm just trying to survive. And she doesn't move. And so I remember not totally slow motion, but I remember turning to her and feeling like I was going to be like, "What?" Right? What do you need? And she's just got out of the shower, so her hair's wet. She's got her pink pajamas on, bright big blue eyes, and they're full of tears. And there are just silent tears tracking down her face, and I'm horrified. Oh my gosh, what's wrong? Right now, I'm in fix-it mode.


    Lesley Logan 8:55  

    Yeah.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 8:55  

    And she still doesn't really budge, and she just says in a very sad voice, "Mommy. Why do you love your job more than me?"


    Lesley Logan 9:05  

    Oh.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 9:07  

    Yes. So the twins tried to kill me. She did kill me, right? Like, that was a knife in my heart because nothing ever had I wanted to be better than a so-called good doctor than to be a good mom.


    Lesley Logan 9:17  

    Yeah.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 9:18  

    And that was for me the moment that I realized I'm not doing either of these well, and I'm not showing up how I want to be personally or professionally. I'm certainly not taking care of my health. I'm not doing the things I'm telling my patients to do. Like, it was a moment where I really felt the failures. I felt all the feelings, and I told my husband that night, "This is not working anymore." And he actually thought I thought was talking about our marriage, and so he was like, "Oh my gosh, what's wrong with our marriage?" Right? No, but I need to, like, redo. We have to redo this. I either have to retire, or I have to do something different.


    Lesley Logan 9:51  

    Yeah.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 9:51  

    And he was like, "You're not retiring. You will drive me crazy. Go find something different to do, and I will make sure our family is okay." And so I did. And this June will be five years of having Vitality here in St. Louis and serving women and trying to lean into all the pain and the things and the feelings they're dealing with from all the things and the feelings I dealt with having walked that path.


    Lesley Logan 10:13  

    Yeah. Oh, Dr. Amy, I love that you shared that whole story because I think there's so many women who are listening here and, like, they don't have, they may have one kid or they have no kids, but, like, I think we can all relate to, like, having just too much on the plate because.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 10:27  

    Right.


    Lesley Logan 10:28  

    Hello, my high-achieving woman. I see you, everyone here listening. We call recovering perfectionists and overachievers. There's nothing wrong with being a high achiever, but what happens is we tend to just keep saying yes to things, and we're like, yeah, we can fit that one more thing in, that one more thing. All of a sudden, it just comes to, like, a volcano breaking point. Yes, and because we don't, we don't see the signs early that we are at the breaking point. We don't, you know, we, it's almost, it's actually proven to be not true. But everyone uses the frog in the boiling water, right? Like, we just kind of, like, you don't realize how hot it's getting until it's until your daughter is crying in front of you. Oh, exactly.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 11:05  

    Yes, it was awful. I never want to relive that moment.


    Lesley Logan 11:08  

    Yeah, but also, like, thank goodness for her because that she felt brave enough to say that. Like, what a badass she is. I mean, she's just going to be, like, she's just going to be a girl who speaks her mind. She does.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 11:18  

    She's 13 now, and she heard me tell that story once, and now she's like, "Well, you have to credit me for opening your business because I hadn't said what I did." I was like, "Won't you just tone it down a notch, please?"


    Lesley Logan 11:27  

    It's called balance, babe. It's called balance. Yes. Okay. So, can we, like, let's get to some of the health stuff that I think our listeners want to—I want to definitely get into perimenopause, but I do want to, because we started with a pregnancy, and I have had family members who, you know, have had preeclampsia in their, and it's scary. So, how are pregnancy complications connected to long-term heart risk? I don't think anyone's thought about that. I just thought, like, if it's because I don't have kids, like it's going to screw up your pelvic floor, and you might have to rebuild your abs and these other things. But I didn't know it can affect your heart long term.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 12:01  

    I had no idea. I'm so glad you brought that up. So I actually did a TEDx talk on this very topic, where the idea is pregnancy is so much more than just the birth of a kid. That's how we think about pregnancy in our culture. That's even how we think of it medically, right? Like if you have preeclampsia, you have gestational diabetes, you have high blood pressure, whatever in pregnancy, the answer is end the pregnancy, deliver the kid if they're old enough, right? Like, get, move it along and it's gone. But that I strongly believe is not true. We can't test this in a lab, so you have to do a little bit of extrapolation here. But if we're going to call pregnancy a stress test, which is becoming an increasingly common term, is pregnancy a stress test of a woman's metabolism and her cardiovascular system? Then we have to ask, what are we stressing it for? And the way I'm looking at this is a little bit different than how I was trained, which again was, if you got the problem, the solution is in the pregnancy. So, what if we started looking at pregnancy from the perspective of this is an unveiling, an unveiling of what was already there, and that nothing's actually gone wrong. It's scary. It's horrifying. And yes, absolutely, people die. So how can I say nothing's gone wrong? What I mean is nothing has gone wrong in the context of the situation we put your body in. It's exactly responding the way it should for the context it's in. So if I have underlying insulin resistance, and then I put a pregnancy on top of that or perimenopause, and I'm starting to have more insulin resistance. Well, of course I'm going to develop gestational diabetes. If I'm having a lot more fluid retention and I'm putting up a low weight, of course my blood pressure is going to go up, right? If I've got underlying inflammation, of course preeclampsia is going to develop. So I think we need to stop and think about it as it's not done; it is unmasked.


    Lesley Logan 13:42  

    Got it. 


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 13:42  

    And then once you know it's unmasked, you treat it.


    Lesley Logan 13:45  

    I see. I see. Because again, we think of pregnancy as just the baby, so you have the baby, but it's well, but there's a problem, an underlying problem that the pregnancy revealed is what you're saying. And so great if having the baby is the safest thing for both people, we do that. But also, you still have this underlying issue.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 14:01  

    Yes, it's still there. Correct.


    Lesley Logan 14:03  

    Yes, and I don't think anyone does that. I think they're just, "Okay. Now you don't have gestational diabetes anymore." But I have had clients who had it, and then afterwards, so what do we got? Oh, I'm fine. Are you correct? I don't think so. I'm not a doctor, but they're not fine. Don't just be diabetes. Yeah, for a moment. Yes.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 14:19  

    So I actually experienced this as a patient too. I went in after my first pregnancy with gestational diabetes. At the time, I was living in New York City. I walked everywhere. I was a normal weight. I ate pretty clean, and despite being in residency, I'd got decent sleep. I didn't have any other kids. It's my first kid, so I got decent sleep. Right, but I had the baby after having had gestational diabetes. I go see my OB, and she's, "Oh, just follow up with your primary doctor." I go see my primary doctor, and he's, "Your weight's normal, your labs are normal. We're done," and that is how I was trained too. So again, lots of love in my heart. They're not; they're just not told. But for more than 10 years, we've known that women who have these high-risk pregnancies are at high risk not just for diabetes, but heart disease, stroke, kidney failure, dementia. Listen, I can't treat dementia well in the clinic, right? So why wouldn't I want all hands on deck trying to prevent it?


    Lesley Logan 15:07  

    Yeah.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 15:07  

    But that's not how our medical professionals are trained—nurses, advanced practice providers, any of them. And so we're asking people and expecting people to fill in a gap they don't know exists, and so all these reproductive-age women are falling into it. And then where it gets really interesting is some of the same things you have immediately postpartum in all your different types of hormone fluctuations are matched intermittently for 10 to 15 years before menopause when you're in the perimenopausal years.


    Lesley Logan 15:32  

    What?


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 15:33  

    Correct, but that's why these women are feeling, "I'm going to my doctor, I'm putting on weight, I'm doing all the things, it's not working," and they're being gaslit, partly because their doctors don't know what they don't know, and partly because we're not acknowledging this is the same physiologic status of hormones that are different than baseline. So we're not in a country, and we don't have the testing that would promote or facilitate checking what is your normal hormone level at 18, so that we know what 18 should look like, and then by 45, you know, we're not. So we're trying to patchwork together a whole bunch of tests, and different labs have different testing, and different people say different things about testing. It's very confusing.


    Lesley Logan 16:10  

    Yeah.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 16:11  

    And you end up with women suffering. And at the end of the day, that's the problem I'm trying to solve: is how do we stop these women from suffering? Because they are called to live big lives, to be ambitious for a purpose, for a calling. They have a lot to do, and their health is one of their biggest assets. It should not be a liability.


    Lesley Logan 16:27  

    Yeah.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 16:27  

    And that's what's happening, especially for women who are trying to not work just in the home but outside the home. Right? There's a lot they're carrying. Yeah. So that's, I don't remember. Sorry, I'm having a total perimenopause moment. I don't remember where we started with that question here. I'll stop there. 


    Lesley Logan 16:42  

    Don't worry, babe. I got my focus meds on the ADHD today, so I'm tracking. So we're good. But we were talking about the postpartum, and then we got into those hormones that switch as, and they can repeat into perimenopause. And I think this is fascinating. I love that you brought up. It doesn't matter if you're in the home or out of the home. We have big lives. Correct. We can't have our health be a liability, and I think for a lot of us, it feels like, like my girlfriend's a weight-loss coach for women over 40 who feel like their body gave a middle finger. That's what her coaching is, and it's all about not going to yo-yo diet. That's not going to work. We have to figure out what is the underlying issues, and it can only go so far because you said we don't test our hormones at 18. We don't do that, so we don't know what is normal for us, and I remember I was having a lot of health issues, digestive issues in my 30s, and no doctor could help me. In fact, one doctor sending me to, I was in this weird part where they study HIV and Ebola in the hospital, and she's like, "Do you know why you're here?" I don't know why I'm here. I don't. This scares the hell out of me. This feels like a department I should not be in. I'm not in any pain. I feel like I'm taking someone's spot, and so because he could, he just couldn't figure out what's going on my stomach. So I found someone who did an actual test of everything. He's so range normal. We don't know what normal is for you. We just know what the average person of this population of people that who knows who they were that were tested. So what is normal for you might not be the average. And I was, "Oh well, that's the first time anyone said anything that makes sense. That's the first time." So you can be in range, but for your hormones, but it wasn't in range for you because maybe you were used to higher testosterone, you're used to higher things. And so I love that people like you exist. I'm sorry for the frustration of your own journey, but also without people like you, women like me wouldn't have someone going, "Hey, actually, maybe you should be on testosterone right now," even though the, this is what it is. Mine was actually zero, but people, you know, we can actually get you help because I feel so much better because someone finally was listening to me and thought, "Yes, we're not going to compare you to a random person. We got to compare you to how you're used to feeling."


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 18:42  

    Correct. And for most people, that can't happen in the traditional system.


    Lesley Logan 18:47  

    Yeah.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 18:47  

    You can't do that in a 10-minute visit.


    Lesley Logan 18:49  

    Right.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 18:50  

    You can't do it when your doctor has 3000 patients, 10-minute visits, and they really don't actually know who you are.


    Lesley Logan 18:55  

    Yeah.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 18:56  

    You just can't. So we've got a little bit of unrealistic expectations as a society, and then you know any women's magazine or journal article you read says, "Talk to your doctor about this." So then you go in, I'm all prepared. I have my list. I've done it too, folks. Right? This is not a criticism, but they, they can't. They don't have the ability to process it, and the way they're paid is based on the questions they ask you for insurance. So every incentive is misaligned, and at the end of the day, women, people are being screwed.


    Lesley Logan 19:22  

    Yeah, yeah. No, it's so true. So I'm glad we talked about the postpartum. I want to get into now. We're in the perimenopause, and yep, this is hard because you mentioned the hormone shift of people after postpartum is its own crazy world. I keep checking on my sister-in-law every day. How are you feeling? Are you feeling okay? Right. You feel okay? She's, "I'm fine." Are you fine? Let me just, I just want you to know. It's okay if you feel different, right? I think I'm crazy, but I know that that people don't realize how they're feeling, and it's hard to get to the doctor until it's too late. So I'm just, I'm on her. But for people like me, we didn't have children, so we have never experienced a crazy shift. We just start to experience, "I don't feel like my, anymore," and all the symptoms are so different for every single person. I'm not having hot flashes, but I'm, I got to keep my hair still here. But my inflammation was insane. I was putting on weight and working out and eating the same. And I don't understand what's going on. You know, so can we talk a little bit about what, I don't know where you want to start with that. So you tell me where you want to start with my post, my perimenopausal people who are not necessarily attributing these changes to that.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 20:27  

    So I think the biggest confusion I see in the exam room conversations is that there's just question of, am I in perimenopause or not? And it's more of a less of a yes-no and more of, are you on the spectrum, and where on the spectrum are you? And so if you think of it as a sliding scale, because some months those ovaries are working really great, and you feel all the feels, and you're 18 again, but a lot of months maybe you're more like 20 or 25, right? And then maybe out of the blue, I feel like I got run over by shock. Nothing's working for two or three months, and then we're back to 25, right? And so it's ups and downs. You're like, what is happening? It is a roller coaster, and it runs anywhere from 10 to 15 years before you actually go through menopause. So I think of it as reverse adolescence, and I think it's completely ironic that God lets us have teenage girls when moms are going through perimenopause because that is just double-adolescence whammy, right?


    Lesley Logan 21:19  

    And no wonder, no wonder marriages don't survive certain things. Right, you have a daughter going through puberty and a wife with a pair of menopause. Good luck to the husband. Correct, because


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 21:28  

    I want to have sex. I don't want to have sex. I have pimples all over my face. I don't want to go to the house. I do. My belly's bloated. It's not like my mood's up. All the things, and it's all in reverse. So it's a it's a period of a woman's life that I think needs to be acknowledged, and then within the healthcare system, there's more noise about it over the last five years. You're seeing more and more people talk about this, but there's not a lot of standardization, and so you're getting chiropractic, functional medicine, traditional medicine. You're getting all sorts of different recommendations. So my hope is that over the next decade, we start to see some standardization, and we start to say this is what is normal for this population. You still have to apply it to the person. You cannot take population data and apply it to individuals and say that you're going to have good luck, bye. We'll see you in a year. That doesn't work. What I do think is that women need to know what's normal for that time, and then they need to decide, do they want to do something about it beyond what their body is experiencing? And here's some really interesting data that I hope your listeners suddenly stop and listen. If they don't hear anything I've said yet, this will be really important for women who have hot flashes and night sweats. Either one, they're actually the same thing. We call them vasomotor symptoms. When you have those at a certain degree, so that they're happening most days of the week, more than 10 times a day would be an easy target to kind of pay attention to. You have that, and you choose not to take hormones. You actually have an increased risk for cardiovascular disease and stroke. That does not mean every woman in that category can or should take it. There may be reasons they can't, but the hormones we use today are different than what in the Women's Health Initiative that came out in the early 2000s. So you're getting a lot of confusion because women are reading about data from that, not realizing that it has changed, and that study is not going to be redone. It was a huge study. We're not going to see data like that, so we have to make really informed decisions. But cardiovascular disease, hear me, ladies. Cardiovascular disease, which includes stroke and heart failure, kills more women every year than all your cancers combined. Yeah, I get the women and they come in religiously for their mammograms or their Pap tests, right? But they don't know that the bigger risk is that they're going to die of heart disease, cardiovascular stroke, and we know that one in eight women, roughly, have breast cancer risk, and those women get it. One in two women are getting heart disease. So there's one in


    Lesley Logan 23:50  

    Two.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 23:51  

    One in two. So that means there's two of us on this call, right? We already know I'm going to get it because I had preeclampsia. So I'm the one. 


    Lesley Logan 23:56  

    I was going to say. I hope it's not maybe. I hope it's not you. But, like, thank God you know that because I think it's one and two, especially if you don't know. Because if you know that you're at risk, you do. Then you can you do something. I am. I'm double the risk for breast cancer, so I have to do an MRI and a mammogram every six months, and I have some decisions I might have to make in my life. But because I know.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 24:18  

    Right, I can take.


    Lesley Logan 24:20  

    I can take action. Yeah, correct.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 24:22  

    And you know, using that same kind of history, if someone comes in my office and says that I don't want to take hormones because I was a breast cancer, I'm like, that's fine. But let's look at all the facts. Let's lay it out like your financial advisor does, and then you can make an informed decision. Because just acting out of fear or reacting is not wise either.


    Lesley Logan 24:38  

    I actually really appreciate you mentioning that because it's true. If I'm, I'm very lucky in that I still get to do the HRT that I'm on, even with my risk. But also they're checking me every six months, and I'm checking me. So if anything's going to happen, we're going to catch it so much more quicker. Whereas the hard stuff, there's only so much you can do with that. And so if you're, especially if you're not aware. Say there's all conversations, but I liked the way you laid it out with the wealth manager. I just met with mine. He laid out here's where we're being aggressive. Here's where we're doing this. Here's what's going on here. We're going to move this over here because we're going to risk-manage these risks. And I think that's that's a better way to look at it because we're not going to, every single one of us is unfortunately going to experience something because it's a body. We're not a machine. 


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 25:21  

    It wears out.


    Lesley Logan 25:22  

    I did not know it was one in two, girl.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 25:26  

    Yeah, and what's even more disturbing, you may have heard a lot of women have by now that women's heart disease presents differently than men.


    Lesley Logan 25:32  

    Yeah, can you tell us just in case my people haven't heard because I didn't know it was one in two? So let's go over the signs.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 25:38  

    A lot of times people think of what's the so-called traditional? It's the jaw pain, the radiation of pain from your chest up to your jaw, to your back, down your left arm. Very classic symptoms. Classic because it was studied in men, and then we have these so-called atypical for women because they're not typical compared to men, but they're classic for women. And so, got a little bit of lingo here that it doesn't make total sense. But for women, sometimes it's they just feel a lot more anxious than they've been for unclear reasons. They have this sense that something bad is on the horizon. They can't really place why their sleep is different. Maybe they're having some shortness of breath they didn't used to have. Maybe they go up the stairs in their house, with a laundry basket, and they're huffing and puffing when six months ago they weren't. So it can be very subtle differences. It could be a new fatigue. Check labs are normal, but the fatigue's still there. That worries me when I hear women say this. Unfortunately, the number one sign that you have heart disease is sudden death.


    Lesley Logan 26:33  

    Oh.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 26:34  

    So let that sink in for a second. So we can't always wait on what the signs are.


    Lesley Logan 26:39  

    Yeah, we can't fix that. Right. Correct. Okay, so that's hard because our signs are also. I feel like high-achieving women would so easily brush away that anxiety.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 26:51  

    All the stuff. Correct. Because I have a lot of tabs open.


    Lesley Logan 26:54  

    Yeah, I got this going on, or I haven't been working out, so of course I'm out of breath going up the stairs. They would just so easily.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 26:58  

    It's May, it's graduation season. It's wedding season, right? This is just aging, and that's not the story at all. The problem is 10-minute visit with your doctor who has 3000 patients. They don't know who you are. They're not going to notice that this is different for you.


    Lesley Logan 27:13  

    Yeah.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 27:13  

    Decreased exercise tolerance is a big one. And so, if you could walk three miles every day in your neighborhood, now you're like, "Wow, I'm really struggling to get through one." I'm worried about that. I want to know what's going on and why.


    Lesley Logan 27:25  

    Yeah. So I guess since one getting a 10-minute visit is hard. I, where I live in, I live in Las Vegas. Last I heard, we are short general practitioners by 1400. I don't have one. I go to a women's clinic, and I'm really grateful. It's a, it's also a student-teacher thing. So I actually, they've caught things because the students are asking the questions because they're


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 27:44  

    Yes, yes.


    Lesley Logan 27:46  

    I love them. I'm so grateful for them, but are there things that women can do to check their heart, or is it just being, is it just noticing the one mile versus a three mile? What can we, what are the signs we need to be checking on?


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 27:57  

    Certainly be aware of what your body is telling you. Again, if you have to remember nothing else, this is another one: is that your body is smart; it will talk to you, but you have to listen.


    Lesley Logan 28:05  

    Yeah.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 28:06  

    So that's really essential. If something's different, say something. You're right. There's a big collapse, if you will, of how much support we have in healthcare, whether it's nurse practitioners or chiropractor or whatever. And the issue is not all of them are trained the same way. So when I worked in the OB/GYN clinic, it became apparent to both of us, on both sides of it, that OBs know stuff about women's health. I don't know, but I know stuff about metabolic and heart health that the OBs aren't taught, and most women use their OBs as their primary care, at least to a certain age.


    Lesley Logan 28:32  

    Right.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 28:33  

    And again, you don't know what you don't know, so you don't realize what you're not looking for that you should be. And our system's not set up for good collaboration. So if I could tell women, here's a checklist of things I want to make sure you get, your doctor is going to give you some resistance, most likely because they don't realize that lipoprotein with a little a, it's like in parentheses at the end of it, not the big A. Lipoprotein little a. If you have that mutation, and 10 to 20% of our population does, you have a different rate of plaque development, at least risk for that than the average risk will miss. If you have high insulin levels, you have a higher risk that you're going to be on a pathway toward diabetes. Those are not things that are standard checks. So knowing that there's other tests you can ask for, and even if your insurance doesn't cover it, they're not expensive tests. Just get it once, right? Have an idea of what's going on in your body once gives you a ton of information. I offer a lot of our patients to wear different glucose monitors, even if they're not on diabetes. And all my physicians who are listening to this are probably like, "You do what?" But the reason is, if you can figure out that your glucose and insulin are high before you develop diabetes or pre-diabetes, if you figured out that insulin-resistant stage, that's a lot easier to fix, and our doctors aren't even taught about what is insulin resistance, what is the criteria for it, and how do we reverse it?


    Lesley Logan 29:47  

    Right, because there's some prevention we can do if we have information.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 29:50  

    There's a ton, and it's things women can do in their homes or their businesses. It's not stuff I'm doing in the exam room.


    Lesley Logan 29:56  

    Yeah, and that's also, you know, you're listening to this podcast, you're kind of a go. Anyway, so you're gonna, you'll take the action. Our health insurance is very bizarre. I thought it was crap because, but it has a lot of preventative stuff that goes on with it. Hey, we want to put this thing in your house and check your heart and some other levels every, I don't know, two or three times a week. They keep calling them. I have two adults. We have two ADHD adults in this household. The box is here. One of us will open it when it becomes the pressure. I just have to hang tight. We'll get there. But I'm really impressed by that because we don't have access to a regular doctor. So what information can we gather so we could be watching it and monitoring it? So we can advocate for ourselves if something comes up. So having that prevention is really amazing. Okay, so we talked a little bit about the perimenopause and the different things. What are some simple shifts that women can make now to protect their future? I mean, obviously we have a wide range of women, so the now is different. But what are some things that they could be doing? Because I do think that they are getting information from the magazines and the Instagrams, and we should get it from the person who's experienced it and has seen it. You know, so you.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 31:00  

    Some easy things, and I say easy relative because they're easy to do, which means they're easy not to do. So acknowledging that, right? It's real. Number one, understanding that just because you get eight hours of sleep, if they're not high-quality hours, you've got a metabolic risk from your sleep not being normal. That's important to understand because you spend a third of your life asleep, right?


    Lesley Logan 31:19  

    What's a metabolic risk? Just in case my people. So.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 31:22  

    If you don't get good-quality sleep, your cortisol goes up. It's one of your stress hormones, and when cortisol goes up, glucose goes up. When glucose goes up, insulin goes up. Insulin's your fat-storing hormone. So even without your sex hormones being involved, or the ghrelin and leptin you're hearing about with weight and GLPs and all that, just those, you're not getting good sleep. It's going to be a problem. Insulin resistance is going to go up. Insulin resistance means your cells are not listening to the insulin your body is giving it, so your body works harder to get more insulin, and the cells work harder to ignore it, and it just keeps going in a vicious cycle. So if we consider that that's the root cause of a lot of these problems we've been talking about, we fix that. Number one is get good sleep, get good-quality sleep, and it's not, not just enough time in bed.


    Lesley Logan 32:02  

    Yeah, so.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 32:03  

    That's important. Number two is most people don't realize that they're doing it backwards. They're, if they're, if they're even able to get exercise in their life right now, right? So we're going to make the assumption that you figured out some exercise regimen you like. We're, we're at that level, but they're doing it at the wrong time, and they're doing it in a way that they're sabotaging their end result. So rather than going to the gym and then going and eating dinner, or going to the gym first thing in the morning and skipping breakfast and all these things, you need to eat protein and fat, and then you need to move your thighs. I don't care if that's jumping jacks, going for a walk, running up the stairs, something where your thighs are moving regularly for 10 minutes. So make it whatever you like doing. This can be the mom at home who's doing all sorts of fun class activity with her kid, right? Like moving the baby around or the teenager can be equally fun to move around for what it's worth. And then it could be the CEO who's getting ready for a meeting and has 10 minutes after eating whatever lunch she had in the five-minute break she did, right? So looking at what makes sense in your life, but 10 minutes of physical activity, ideally after every meal, that's not realistic, but that's ideal. And then you start with the one meal a day you can do, and you do it most days of the week to start with, because most of us have to figure out how to make it a habit.


    Lesley Logan 33:15  

    Yeah.


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 33:15  

    But movement for 10 minutes after eating, it's, it's crucial. I cannot stress that enough.


    Lesley Logan 33:20  

    I didn't realize it was. It makes total sense moving your body after eating because I like to go for a walk after I have lunch. Otherwise, I'm tired. Correct. I can't go back to work now. 


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 33:30  

    The reason you're tired though is because your glucose goes up and your insulin went up to match it. When you walk right after you eat, glucose still goes up, but it's less, and so you have less insulin spike. Insulin is the bright driver here, and so you've got to do the movement after. And if it helps to understand why, think back to what our ancestors did 1000 years ago. Right? We weren't checking hormones. We weren't checking insulin. We weren't talking about hacks. We were trying to survive most of the time. Yeah. But the things they did is they, if they, what, after they ate, they moved around. Right? Like they were building their shelters. They were taking care of the kids. They were moving in the community, helping build, create, relocate, whatever. They were always moving, and they did not get the whole three square meals a day. That's bogus. You don't need three meals a day, okay? And most of my ladies don't realize that they're eating their nutrients potentially in the wrong order for their body. That they're eating them in the wrong time for the cycle of the month they're in, they're not getting enough protein, not getting enough fat for their hormones and their brain, and it doesn't happen quickly, right? It's months, years, maybe even a couple decades before they're, I don't know what happened, but my body in the mirror is not the body in my head. This is not who I am. There's a disconnect, and they finally are at that place where they have to do something, where the body is forcing them to stop because they've pushed it as hot as you know.


    Lesley Logan 34:44  

    Oh my God, that's a whole episode. We're having you back. I'm just telling you right now because I want to have a whole episode on the whole. Because what I do know is if you eat certain things, if you work out too late, if you get your cortisol up, sleep that. I have been trying to figure out sleep for over a decade, and I, I get good-quality sleep most of the time. But I'm obsessed with it because I'm like, I don't want Alzheimer's. I do not want heart problems. It doesn't really matter what I'm doing at the gym if I'm not sleeping. None of that matters. Doesn't matter what you're, If you don't get good sleep, all the rest is gonna just fall apart anyways. So it's interesting. It makes sense about the food because I remember when I was having problems with my cycle and I had my one of my doctor friends, she said you should try seed cycling because I just, the worst cramps and, like, the worst everything was just the worst in the world, and so I tried seed cycling and my goodness, you know, I'm not a woo-woo girl, but the seed cycling makes, I got, I had no more zits, my boobs didn't hurt as bad, everything leveled out, and I didn't need any extra hormones for it. I was, whoa, so now there must be more. We need to know about it. So we'll have to have you back for that. I can talk to you forever. So we'll just, this is part one of many. I'm just going to take a brief break and then find out if people can find you, follow you, and work with you. All right, Dr. Amy Loden, where do you hang out? You mentioned St. Louis. Can people work with you if they're not in St. Louis? How does this work?


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 36:03  

    Yes, absolutely. Best way to get into contact with our office is just going to our website, www.vitalitymwc.org. They can sign up for a consultation, and we can go through what their options are. There is also lots of opportunity if you don't want to work with us directly, but you want to continue the conversation and hear what we're seeing. I do all the social media I can so that people can hear what's being said in their exam rooms and have it in their real lives too. So you can do that on follow me at Dr. Amy Tiffany, whether it's on Instagram or TikTok or Facebook. You find it where they're also on LinkedIn at Dr. Amy Loden. So lots of places depends on what their needs are. One special offer I do have for your audience: we talked about pregnancy and perimenopausal bit through this conversation, they can contact my office for a free physical copy of my book, The Postpartum Pivot. And before you stop listening, ladies, and you think, "Well, I'm not postpartum." If you've had a baby, you're postpartum even it's 20 years ago. Your body's different than it was before that baby, and so you can understand what does this look like for perimenopause and other types of areas that we go through as we grow less young, but grow more wise.


    Lesley Logan 37:03  

    Oh my God! Every one of my female females, that's where your Christmas present is. Sorry, just gonna get a doctor because they don't. It's, if their doctor doesn't tell them, they don't know, right? And then they are just going through it. And I feel so bad because every woman in my life is such a badass, and then they get their body doesn't keep up with what they're wanting to do in life, and then it just becomes not just like a liability, but like this hangup. So you are amazing. Okay, you've given us some great stuff already. I mean, we're gonna have to rewind, and I'll listen to this. I've got, you know, getting my notepad out, but our bold, executable, intrinsic, or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it. What do you have for us?


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 37:37  

    I want each one. When you be it as you see it, I want you to be true to what your body's telling you, and recognize nothing's gone wrong. Listen when things are happening and they seem like it's a crisis. Nothing's gone wrong. Your body's talking to you. Listen, and when you listen, you become more wise. You become a better version of yourself.


    Lesley Logan 37:55  

    Okay, I really love that. We talked about that earlier, but it's true. Some of us think our body is against us, and it's doing something to us. But really, it's like, hello. The alarm bells. 


    Amy Loden Tiffany, MD, MBA 38:05  

    It's doing exactly what it should do for the situation we've put it in. That doesn't mean we like it. You get diabetes. No one's like, oh yeah, my body did exactly what it's supposed to do. But if we understand that, then it becomes a neutral thought. It's not bad or wrong. It's I didn't listen, so now I'm going to stop, and the best place to reverse is as soon as you realize you're going in the direction. Right? It's not to keep going in the wrong direction. So nothing has gone wrong. We just need to listen. We need to turn around, create a better story.


    Lesley Logan 38:33  

    Love it. Love it. This is and then so enlightening. This is so fun. Thank you so much for being you and your and and the journey that you've been on is something we can all benefit from. So thank you for that, you guys. We all need to share this episode with all the women in our lives, and I would love for you to make sure that Dr. Amy knows your favorite takeaways. Send them to the Be It Pod as well. And since I'm going to have her back, not that I even like asked her beforehand, but I'm just going to tell her she's doing that. You can send your questions, and we'll make sure we get that. So, beitpod.com/questions. Until next time, my loves, Be It Till You See It. 


    Lesley Logan 39:03  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


    Brad Crowell 39:45  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 39:50  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


    Brad Crowell 39:54  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


    Lesley Logan 40:02  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


    Brad Crowell 40:05  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



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    40m - Sep 1, 2026
  • 726. Finding Grace, Big Projects, and Little Sleep

    Lesley Logan celebrates opening applications for her upLift teacher training program, and explains what it takes to trust other educators with a curriculum she built herself. She also admits the new puppy is beating her alarm every single morning, and makes the case that a listener crossing an eye exam off her to-do list counts just as much as a big win.


    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co .


    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.


    In this episode you will learn about:

    • A candid rant about Darla the puppy who beats every alarm.
    • The teacher training milestone Lesley kept quiet about all year long.
    • Why applications open only to graduates of the eLevate program.
    • Which upLift or eLevate pathway fits where you are now.
    • This week's mantra for gracefully embracing imperfections.


    Episode References/Links:


    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.

     

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

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    Episode Transcript:

    Lesley Logan 0:00  

    It's Fuck Yeah Friday. 


    Brad Crowell 0:01  

    Fuck yeah! 


    Lesley Logan 0:02  

    Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.


    Lesley Logan 0:48  

    Hello, Be It babe. Happy Fuck Yeah Friday! Welcome to our quick-and-dirty episode of the week. We've had a lot of people ask how they can support our podcast, and I just want to say, if you want to support this podcast, please become an OPC member. That is how you can support this podcast. Yeah, because when you're an OPC member, then one, I know that you're actually doing something for you, and you're getting your cup filled, and you're getting a community, and you're getting accountability, and that's how this podcast gets paid for. So, thanks so much. That's how you can do it. So go to opc.me/40 to become an OPC member, or just go to onlinepilatesclasses.com. You don't want to be a member? Get our flashcards, get our posters, tell people about us, watch our videos. Means the world to us, right? If you're like, I don't even do Pilates, I just like this podcast. Hi, welcome. I'm glad you're here. Leave a review, share with a friend. There's lots of things you can do that are free that support small businesses. So thanks for doing all of that, and thanks for even asking. 


    Lesley Logan 1:41  

    So today's episode is a little rant, my win, a win of yours, a mantra, and we are on our way for the weekend. So at the time that I'm recording this, this is my rant. This rant hopefully is outdated by the time you hear this. I am recording this before I leave for tour, but my rant is that my lovely Darla, my beautiful, cute Darla, my sweet, sweet Darla. Darla's our new dog. In case we didn't announce that here, she wakes me up at night. She does. I thought she'd sleep for the night. She does not, and no, she does not. She actually, she knows my alarm's going to go off in 10 minutes, and then she sets it off before you send in. Like, oh yeah, they have a good internal clock. I was going to tell you right now. I get up at different times. I get to 4:45 some mornings, 5:15 some mornings, 5:30 at the latest. But still, somehow she always beats it. She does, and she is a big girl. So when she gets in the bed, you feel it, and then she takes up all the space. So I'm just gonna say, it's a good thing she's pretty, she's beautiful, she's really sweet. I know this too shall pass, but that perimenopausal ADHD trying to get sleep. Both those two things combined with a puppy. I'm feeling it. I'm feeling it. But my win is something you guys have been hearing about all year, actually. So throughout this year, I've had different wins where I was being kind of secretive about the project I was working on, and recently I got to announce what the project was. I have a teacher training program for new teachers or partially trained teachers, and I'm really, really stoked about the response people have and how people are excited about it and all that stuff. And we're at the date now; it's filling. There's so much to do when you take on a beast of this size; it's just so much to do. But the thing that I'm the most excited, nervous, anxious about is I've opened up the applications for our educators in the next few days. If it's not now, because I know I just I'll have done the coaching, the group call, the Q&A call, and all that stuff, and so we'll open up the applications. And so this only people can apply are people who did eLevate, so that I know who I'm approving to teach. I know how they are. I know their personalities.


    Lesley Logan 3:41  

    I know all of it. I know the journey. I know how they approach challenging situations. I want to make sure, you know, I you can't control everybody or everything, but I want to make sure that I can confidently say I know the person who is about to teach you. And so this is the next big step in the upLift teacher training coming to fruition, right? I have to have educators first. So my win is we've opened up applications, and so the next step is I just get to start approving people and talking with people. And the next time you hear wins will be about who I've accepted and the training program they're going to be going through because I have to train them on how to deliver the curriculum that I created. But you know, just to be at this stage in the process is awesome. It just feels, okay, it's becoming more and more real. It's not just me because I've never wanted this program to be about just me. It is my thesis. It is my theories. It is my values. But it is bigger than me. You know, it's bigger than the educators who will teach it too. It's just really about the students and the people that they're going to impact, and so I'm super, super excited about it, and just I'm just blessed. 


    Lesley Logan 4:47  

    So, if you are wanting to have more information about upLift, you are someone who's interested in being a Pilates instructor, or you are partially trained instructor, you can get on the waitlist at xxll.co/uws, it's xxll.co/uws. If you are a comprehensively trained teacher and you want to study with me, then you want eLevate. But if you don't want to wait till 2028 or beyond, you can actually bridge with one of my educators through upLift. So it's my stuff, just with somebody else. So it just depends on your desire. If you want to be an educator of upLift, then you want eLevate. If you just want to go through it because you want a bridge, then you can go through upLift. You don't have to wait. You can go to a local educator near you. Okay, that's great. That's I'm excited. 


    Lesley Logan 5:32  

    Okay, this is the part where I show you when, I was about to just give you a mantra and go on, but hello, Lesley, get it together. This is from @jennvfitness. I got both a haircut and eye exam done off my to-do list this week. Good for you. I had LASIK 13 years ago, so I'm just so grateful that I'm out of the eye exam stage. I'm sure it's going to come back into my life, but for right now, I'm doing pretty good. But I remember having that on my to-do list and having that and a haircut in the same week. Way to slay. So thank you. See, wins can be as simple as getting your eye exam done. You guys, it don't have to be a huge project, but honestly, wins can be super, super small. Wins can be that you actually just went to bed the time you said you were going to be, and from ADHD, people going to bed the time you said you were going to go to bed was massive win. It's like you should get an award for it.


    Lesley Logan 6:17  

    So, anyways, I'm so grateful for you. Thank you for listening to the Be It Pod podcast, please leave a review or share your favorite episode with a friend. And here is your mantra: I embrace my imperfections with grace. Well, we should say that a few times. I embrace my imperfections with grace. I embrace my imperfections with grace. That is a lot of rhyming. I'm really grateful that we did that together. And you guys, until next time, Be It Till You See It. 


    Lesley Logan 6:45  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


    Brad Crowell 7:28  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 7:33  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


    Brad Crowell 7:38  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


    Lesley Logan 7:45  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


    Brad Crowell 7:48  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    8m - Aug 28, 2026
  • 725. Why Boredom Is the Fertile Ground of Creativity

    Lesley Logan continues her two-part series on slowing down, because the detours and side quests that feel unproductive are often what a goal actually needs. She explains how boredom becomes fertile ground for the idea you have been chasing, and why rushing toward something builds pressure rather than the confidence it takes to get there. She also shares what leaving room in a suitcase before Paris taught her about leaving room in a schedule.


    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.


    In this episode you will learn about:

    • Why side quests often teach the exact skills you need later on.
    • The reason boredom is where your creative ideas actually come from.
    • What one curious detour in Sedona turned into for Lesley.
    • The problem with a schedule packed too tight for surprise.
    • The one unproductive hour challenge for you to try this week.


    Episode References/Links:

     

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

    DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

    Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

    Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

    Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

    Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

    FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/


    Resources:


    Follow Us on Social Media:

     

    Episode Transcript:

    Lesley Logan 0:00  

    When we create space, we create room for confidence. So, if you are on a sprint, you're sprinting. You can only see what's in front of you, but when you slow down, you can actually take in what's in front of you into the sides of you.


    Lesley Logan 0:15  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 


    Lesley Logan 0:58  

    All right, my Be It babe, my high-achieving women, my recovering perfectionists and overachievers. Hi, how are you? Welcome back to the show. It's episode two in our slowing-down series. If you missed episode one, you should listen to it, or you could just skip ahead and then realize that that's a sign you probably should slow down. I promise they're not long. I promise. So our solo episodes are on topics that you are having questions about. You're sending into the Be It Pod, and you are wondering, needing help on that. We've had some really great guests on the show. We'll continue to have amazing guests, but sometimes we just need a 20-minute-ish chat about a topic, right? Where we can just go, oh yeah, that's that thing, right? Just like a nugget of reminding, and also to know you're not alone because hello, I see you, I see you. As a recovering perfectionist overachiever, I felt like everything, I remember feeling everything I did had to be productive of some kind. So, if I was going to listen to a podcast, it needed to be a business podcast or a self-development podcast of some kind. If I had to read a book, it had to be like that. It had to help me move the needle forward. If I was to go for a walk, I would always listen to something that would move the needle forward for sure. I'm not going to listen to just. I'm not going to just listen to the outside noise. Any space that I had in my life, I go, oh, now I can go work on that project that I've been willing to move the needle forward on. There was not just doing nothing. 


    Lesley Logan 2:18  

    A lot of dinners that I would do when I lived in L.A. Like they had to always, they were always networking dinners of some kind. When I moved to Vegas, and I took during the pandemic, so obviously in the pandemic, we all lost a lot. But I recognized that when I moved to Las Vegas, I was like, "Wow, if I'm not traveling for work, I don't see any friends. And now that we're months into this pandemic, those same people are not calling. So, did I have friends or just have a network?" Right? I also know that I'm in a decade where I have spent several decades working and working on moving the needle forward. And I don't have kids, but many of you do. And I've had business. I've had worked jobs while also running my own business on the side and trying to date at the time. All those different things. But some of you, you have business and kids and your partner and aging parents. And so honestly, if anyone were to ask you right now, what you want next or what sounds fun to you, if you draw a total blank, you're not alone. Actually, it was in 2020. I was talking with my therapist. I was like, "I don't have a hobby. I don't have anything. I just do for the fuck of it. For fun. I'm just like, what do you want to do?" I was, I don't know. And that's why I went hobby hunting.


    Lesley Logan 3:39  

    And if you've been with the podcast long enough, you know that I, it took me a long time, but we get so busy, we have no inner voice that we listen to that says anything nice. We're not able to listen to our intuition. Go listen to intuition series if you need that help. We are often just listening to the judgey voice in our head that's like, "You are not doing enough. You should be doing more. How silly of you to think that you should sit there and just watch a show or learn to row, all that stuff." So, I want us to dismantle that trap today. So, I'm happy you're here. Thanks for being here. I want to talk about why being as curious as possible is actually not going to derail your goals. That the side quests that it will take you on are actually often what you need to learn a skill, or to have a moment of freedom in your brain, so that the idea that you've been trying to figure out how am I going to do that comes to you, or so that you have time with friends to just be yourself and have joy, right, and not have something productive happening. So, I remember when I was in college, I saw these shoes we were selling at my store, and they were hand-painted. And my girlfriend and I were like, "We can. I don't want hand-painted ones. I want. I want to decoupage some." So we decoupaged some shoes. And then when we did that, our bosses were like, "You made those?" We're like, "Yeah. Do you want to make more?" And so then we made them to sell them. And by the way, every dime we made, we reinvested back into the business. And we learned the hard way to have a resale license and to have a wholesale license and to sell and to have a business, there's taxes and others, accountant, all this different stuff, but what happened is a side quest back in college with my best friend Clare, who's been on the podcast, us doing that, it really actually showed me all the different parts I would need to have when I start my own business. So even though it wasn't, it didn't make money. It one, gave me a really cool story. I used to make shoes, and by the way, the shoe company that we used to decoupage, they actually ended up knocking us off, and that's what killed our business. But at any rate, totally fine. We needed to get out of it, anyways. But because of that, it wasn't scary for me to start a Pilates business, right? 


    Lesley Logan 5:55  

    And so, when we think about little detours or side quests or pauses, often they're exactly what we need to gain a skill that will even not in the same thing. I'm not in the shoe business, but it will translate, right? I see this all the time in video games. There's these little side quests, and they often teach you a different way of using your character, and then there's different ways to get different gems or power-ups or things like that, and then you go back to the regular game, and now you have more skills, right? And so, side quests may not feel very productive, or there might not be an ROI that is measurable. But what they often give you is a boost in confidence, some self-trust, some self-knowing. I also just got to spend time with my best friend. When you're in college and you have a job, that's really hard to do. It's really hard to do. So when you go on a detour, you're giving your brain room to breathe, and that's what we need. Because often what happens is we just fill that space with stuff in our phone, schedules, social media. What's going on? What am I missing out on? Oh, I got to check that. Oh, I got to check with that person. And it's just a rush, and our dopamine brain need is being switched to cortisol injections, and they feel the same, but they are not. So even though my story is about making shoes, it was about getting bored.


    Lesley Logan 7:18  

    I do want to say that we need to talk about getting bored. Most of us listening to this podcast right now, remember a time where, as a kid, we got bored. Like we would say, "I'm bored," right? And let's talk to my yoga teacher, who's been on this podcast, Anthony Benenati. His kids, when they say they're bored, he's like, "Yes, congrats! This is a great place to be. This is where creativity comes from," right. So few kids are truly ever bored long enough to get creative because most of the time, when someone says, "Here's the kid's bored," they give them an iPad or something to do or some food. But boredom is the fertile ground of creativity that you have been looking for. That idea, that frustrating thing. Why can't I make this work? What do I need to do? When I am allowing my brain to just wander and follow? Oh, what if I did that? Wouldn't it be cool? We had episode one. Wouldn't it be cool if I did this? What could be better than this? Right? When you let your brain go on that path, you often come up with some brilliant stuff that you could never do in your stressed-out, rushing state. So, as I mentioned, side quests again, video game tip thing, right? 


    Lesley Logan 8:28  

    Let's look at that example from when you're my recovering perfectionist overachievers. We need to make our time that we do spend reading that business book or listening to educational podcasts, and what if we just swapped one of those things for something that had nothing to do with that? Brad and I stopped listening to political podcasts in exchange for the Fourth Wing series, right? And now that that series is gone, someone just gave us another book recommendation, and I am so excited to go through that because the reality is having something at the end of the day, one, to look forward to because I'm, I can't wait to get lost in that book, and two, that has nothing to do with anything that matters allows us to just put our brain into a place that can actually get some good sleep, right? So look, you don't have to be, a book, doesn't have to be a podcast. Maybe it is a hobby. Maybe you, my girlfriend, she is going into bedazzle mode, right? She is, I'm bedazzling this, I'm bedazzling that because it's fun. It has zero to do with what her job is, zero to do what her house needs, and it allows her to just have something that lets her brain just take a moment, be on a side quest, right? And you'd be surprised how that downregulates the nervous system in a way that takes your stress levels down. I mean, many of us need to be literally thinking about our stress levels, not just for perimenopause, but for our heart, right? For our sleep. If you are not getting good sleep, oh my God, you need a side quest. You need a side quest. Right? 


    Lesley Logan 10:00  

    I've talked a lot about curiosity. I talk a lot about this when it comes to teaching Pilates, but I really want to suggest that you take a kid-like approach to things. Get curious. Put question marks on things. Right? Too often we're like, I need a five-year plan on this thing that I'm doing. You just need to go, what happens if I do this? Right. We have, ladies, we've spent so much time taking care of so many people. We've often forgotten how to be curious, how to kind of flirt with our future selves. I wonder what I would look like in that style of jean that's out. Instead of going, oh, it'll never look good on me. Like I really thought I'm, I hate that the low-rise is back, but then I kept getting ads for these low-rise wide-leg pants, and I was, I don't know. So then after 72 ads, I was fuck it. I'm just gonna buy it. And honestly, with the long oversized shirts, the outfit looks so chic. It looks so good. It looks. It's also so comfortable, and that takes. But that takes curiosity. I wonder what I would look like in that. I wonder where I would wear that to. I wonder what would happen if I put these shoes on instead of these shoes.


    Lesley Logan 11:06  

    We get so used to being in our this is my usual, this is how I do things that we forget that there's this fun thing about being curious and trying things out, and often leads to other ideas and other adventures and other opportunities. When we're on tour, there's often some days we have time, and Brad and I will just pull off to a vintage shop and just walk inside, cause it's fun. We don't even buy anything; it's just fun to go in. Actually, curiosity led my girlfriend and I, we're in Sedona, there's this one more place I want us to go to, and it led us into a sound bath store, sound bowl store, right? And then we were, oh, okay. How much are these things? $15,000. Whoa, didn't expect that. But we ended up going to a sound bath. We got to enjoy a sound bath with bowls that collectively cost $105,000. I'm gonna tell you right now, I felt every dollar of that sound bath in my body, all because we're curious about what's in this store over here. I actually was we're looking for a different store completely. There is magic in detours, and some of your best ideas are gonna be in spaces you didn't plan for. And I'm telling you, that is so fricking true. Some of my best ideas have come from just thinking. Well, what if I did that? How would that fit the plan? I wonder. And then just following it in my brain, right? But that requires having pause time because I cannot let my brain follow a thought or a nugget if I'm rushed up against a deadline. Right? It's not going to work. So now that we know, I hope I sold you on curiosity. 


    Lesley Logan 12:44  

    When we create space, we create room for confidence. So if you are on a sprint, you're sprinting. You can only see what's in front of you, but when you slow down, you can actually take in what's in front of you into the sides of you. Right? When you go for just a stroll, and so I'm often rushing to get to the gym. And the other day I decided to walk alongside my dad, and I was like, "Has that bar always gone in a full U? I thought it went up against the wall." And my dad looked at him. He was like, "Huh," right? We were just like, "Oh my god, there is space to be curious and see something different because we're not rushing. So the same goes for if you are wanting to take action towards what the the be it till you see it that you're working towards. If you are rushing towards that, you are only able to see what's in front of you. And one, by the way, that doesn't actually create confidence; it creates stress and pressure. But if you actually take a stroll, it allows you to take in all of your surroundings, and you actually have a sense of calmness around you. Think about when we feel safe in a space; it's because we can we know everything that's in it. We can see everything that's going on. We can take it all in, right? You will have more confidence because you know what is what's going on? What's over there? Can make better decisions. So being it until you see it, that next version of yourself, it requires space for magic and coincidence and possibility to enter. You cannot manifest a new reality if you are scheduled is packed tighter than my suitcase in for a month in Europe. Right? There is no room for surprise. You won't even look for surprise. So when we were traveling to Europe, I'll just bring my suitcase back into this. We were traveling to Europe. We were so excited because we had a bunch of flashcards we were getting rid of, and so we were gonna have space to get something fabulous from a vintage shop in Europe. And because we had the space, we went out seeking. We went to 20 vintage shops in Paris in one day. It was so much fun. I got the coolest jacket, and I was, oh my god! But I was really hoping for the purse, you know.


    Lesley Logan 14:48  

    But Brad found these great shoes, and we could, if we had packed everything so tight that there could be nothing new added to it. We would not have explored as much of Paris as we did. There would be no room for curiosity because there'd be no room for if we found anything. That goes for your life too. If you pack your schedule so tight, you don't even want a detour, even if it would take you exactly where you're wanting to go, because you don't have room to get lost. You can't trust that getting lost could take you exactly to the right place, right?


    Lesley Logan 15:20  

    So, what does this mean for you? What do we need to do next? Now that we've sold you on curiosity, we sold you on creating space, so you have confidence and room to be it till you see it. What do you need to do? What we need to do is play more, have more unproductive time, have time to be curious. Maybe you take walks without your podcast on, or before you turn your podcast on, maybe you look for, we had a guest who said, "Look for three miracles," right? Maybe you don't just go to a coffee shop to work, but you just go to a coffee shop to sit and read a book that has zero impact on your life, right? Maybe you do paint. Maybe you'll learn a skill that you has nothing to do with the career that you're on, but it's just fun. If that feels overwhelming, then I just want you to have one unproductive hour this week, just one. No cleaning, no working, no social media, so no phone. If you've ever read The Artist's Way, you go on an artist date, so you go do something that you have always thought about doing. Maybe there's a bookstore in town you've always wanted to go to, or a coffee shop you've wanted to explore, or someone recommended a salad or a sandwich at this new place that opened up. But you don't, you go and you don't get on your phone when you're there. You just go and you eat. You take yourself on a date, and you see what bubbles up when there's no pressure. I can't wait to hear about it. So please tell us what happened on your magical unproductive hour date by sending it to thebeitpod.com/questions. Maybe that's your win that you're sending in. Like, hey, I had an unproductive hour this week. I did it. I did my. I took myself on an unproductive date. I want to celebrate that with you. And if you know a friend, this could be helpful to please send it to them. Honestly, you sharing this podcast is one of the best things you could ever, ever, ever do. The next best thing would be a member of OPC, and that'd be something that supports you as well. All right, my loves. Until next time, Be It Till You See It. 


    Lesley Logan 17:21  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

     


    Brad Crowell 18:03  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 18:08  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


    Brad Crowell 18:13  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


    Lesley Logan 18:20  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


    Brad Crowell 18:23  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    18m - Aug 27, 2026
  • 724. You Can't Actually Find Clarity in a Rush

    Lesley Logan opens a two-part series on slowing down, because rushing may feel productive but it rarely gets you where you actually want to go. She explains how constant rushing flips the nervous system into a survival response, and what it really cost her to pause OPC's growth for two years because Profitable Pilates' growth needed her more.


    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.


    In this episode you will learn about:

    • The real difference between movement and forward momentum.
    • Knowing when a pause is strategic and when it is avoidance.
    • Why you cannot hear your intuition when you are moving too fast.
    • Why rushing makes you say yes to things you would have declined.
    • Setting five-minute buffer gaps between every meeting this week.


    Episode References/Links:

     

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSI

    DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

    Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipment

    Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlist

    Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-survey

    Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/

    FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/


    Resources:


    Follow Us on Social Media:

     

    Episode Transcript:

    Lesley Logan 0:00  

    Rest is never supposed to be a reward. I see way too many women using rest or a day off or a spa day as a reward for hard work. Nope, you actually are always worthy of rest, always, all the time, no matter what.


    Lesley Logan 0:12  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 


    Lesley Logan 0:54  

    Hello, Be It babe. How are you? Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It podcast. Of course, now I have vocal fry. I was talking just fine a moment ago, but here we are, and that's because we are not perfect around here. Welcome if it's your first time listening to us. Thank you for being here. This week we're going to talk about slowing down and actually how that can speed things up. And I'm just really excited for us to dive into this topic. We are doing these topics because you asked for them. So beitpod.com/questions is where you send your wins in for us to chat about and celebrate you on Fridays, but your topics, your guest requests, things like that those are all things that I look at and determine for who we invite on the pod and what these little series are for. And I love hearing how they help you. I also just want to say I really appreciate when you share our podcast. It means the world to me. It really, really does. Brightens my day every time I hear about it. So just know that I appreciate even just texting this to a friend who needs to hear it. You know, we can't Be It Till We See It alone. This is not how it works. So we have two episodes on this topic about slowing down, and the overall message, the too-long-didn't-listen, is that how it actually speeds things up. And I am someone who wants to move a mile a minute, so this is definitely a Be It Till You See It. For me, it's something I'm constantly practicing. I'm constantly having to be reminded. I'm recording this in June. You're hearing it in August, and I was telling the team an hour ago we have to get moving on that because the launch date for that is October 1st. Lesley, it is the end of June. There is plenty of time. Is there though? But really, really. So if you have ever spent an entire day going from one task to the other? Just you feel like a hummingbird, but then you get to 5 p.m. and you look at your to-do list and you actually did everything but what you wanted to do. Yeah, you don't only end the day exhausted, end the day stressed out because you did all this stuff, but you didn't move the needle forward. And this is something that I see happen when I coach a lot of Pilates studios because people love to make a list. My Pilates studio owners love to make a list. I see this a lot when I coach Pilates studio owners and teachers. They make a long list of things that they want to get done that they need to do, and then they do none of that, right? And then they be like, "I did all these things," or they make a laundry list of things and they do all of them, but they actually didn't move the needle forward because none of those things actually move the needle forward. That was just what Brad calls the whirlwind, just doing the whirlwind, right? And there is a massive difference between getting stuff done, movement of things, and momentum of things. If you ever watch my cousin Benny, there is this scene in this episode where they get stuck in the mud and they're spinning the wheels, right? And so there is movement happening, but they're not getting enough momentum.


    Lesley Logan 3:22  

    They're not going anywhere, right? They're stuck in the mud, and so, hi, I see you, and we're just gonna acknowledge that all of us do that, and if we get honest with ourselves, we're gonna break down while just doing movement, just rushing around, checking things off is actually negatively affecting the growth we want to have, and how taking some breaks, some pauses, slowing down shifts us into a gear that can actually create true progress. Right? I remember years and years ago I was with this girl, and she had this whole speech that there's power in the pause. There is power in the pause. Right? Sometimes, just taking a break and getting a 30,000-foot view is what exactly you need. Otherwise, you're just on the hamster wheel. Maybe there's another wheel to get on, right? So I do understand. I want to just say I do understand this idea that if I slow down, I fall behind because I was a runner. So just so you know, professional runner for a long time, and if you do slow down, people do pass you up, right? But that's not how life is. Life is not an actual race because you are your own path. You're doing your own thing, right? And so, I do think at some point in your life there is time to rush and hustle and get as much information as you can. And then there is a time in our life where we really do need to honor the information. Take time to get that, you know. Especially as I am someone over 40, I've really discovered that if I just take a few pauses, if I don't rush from one task to the next, if I, as I said in another series, go for a walk around the block, I actually get some really great ideas. I get to listen to my intuition. I get to hear my inner voice, and it's really helpful. But I also the complete opposite of that is that in my brain, I am 43 years old, and I do want to be retired soon. And I feel like every day is a countdown to that, which is seriously crazy because there, if I were to take how many days between now and when I want to retire, there's probably thousands. So in reality, I could slow down, but I do understand that feeling of that clock ticking, and I think together, Be It babes, we need to reframe that. We need to reframe that pauses as strategic decision-making time and not a weakness, not a laziness, not a procrastination, because there is a difference between a pause and a procrastination, right? So I will say I definitely had to get hit over the head a few times with this idea. Really had to get hit over the head a few times with this idea. It's a lesson that's just taken me a little longer than I like to admit about slowing down. 


    Lesley Logan 5:55  

    Okay, so I don't know if a lot of you know this, but I started Agency, Profitable Pilates, membership program at the same time that I kind of started OPC, and you know, I thought they're two different things. I could do this. I have the time, and the reality is, is marketing the two, sure, but actually sustainably operating both was not happening, and I was rushing to do it because I thought, "Oh my god, if I don't get this done, some other person's going to take my idea, and I need to get this going." And I also had, I will say, I was loving traveling a lot and really wanting to get rid of some of my clients, so I needed both to take off so that I could let go of some of my regular teaching, so I can enjoy traveling and just run these two businesses. I thought it's just going to happen in three weeks, and it didn't. Of course, it didn't happen. And in fact, it took a little bit longer. And there came to a point where I actually had to pause OPC's growth because Profitable Pilates' growth needed me more.


    Lesley Logan 6:54  

    It was taking off, and if I kept trying to split my time evenly, I would have actually caused Profitable Pilates to not grow and to in fact not help the people and not have the impact I wanted to make. And so I had to hit pause on something, and it was really hard. I had to choose between two babies, one of which I love gets really hard. I actually love them both so much, and one of them is more scalable than the other, and one of them can impact more people than the other in different ways, and but I had to do it, and it was so hard because I will say, OPC, those two years of purposely slowing down its growth still is something we are dealing with today. You know, I'm really proud of what we do. We have a great membership. We have a great community, but there was information I didn't get in those two years because I had to slow it down. So I share that with you because I actually don't want you rushing around to feel like you're accomplishing something, only to end up missing out on the information you could be gathering, so you could make better decisions for where you're going to grow, right? For all you're going to do. So that is why you know we have to actually understand when we go into that rush mode that feels like it's productive. We are not operating from a place of not just authenticity but control, right? And so it does feel like everything matters so much because we actually are grasping for control. But when you are actually in charge of how fast you go and the pauses you're going to take and the scenic route you're going to look at or the thing you're going to take a deeper look at, you are in the more control that way. So it's important. So as we talked about in past solo episodes, your nervous system is very much part of this, and if you are constantly rushing, it's not just a time-management issue. It can actually be a survival response, and that survival response actually puts us in that lizard brain where we actually don't see a lot of stuff as being helping hand, right? So our nervous system, when you're constantly rushing, your brain activates a low-grade survival response. Adrenaline makes you hyper-focus on immediate micro-tasks. You check your email, you cross off trivial to-do items while taking you away from seeing the big picture. You cannot see it when you're in this space, right? 


    Lesley Logan 8:59  

    Another example of being in survival mode is so. I'm sure you don't know this, but I'll tell you. If your head becomes more forward of your spine, right, like you start to be one of those people whose heads are forward, you see those people at their parts. You start to see people coming at you as an attack and not a helping hand. So if you are in this rushing mode, if you're in the survival response in your nervous system, you are actually not seeing people going, "Hey, I'd love to do this with you," or "Let's collaborate with this" as help. You could not receive it like that. You actually see it as someone trying to get something from you, someone trying to slow you down, someone trying to take your thing, and so you actually perceive some helping hands as something that's going to be a negative or an attack on you, right? And so when we go through that, it just actually means we probably definitely not going to go as fast as we want because it's hard to go anywhere fast alone, right? Well, they say if you want to go fast, you go alone. If you want to go far, you go together. But the reality is, is like I actually do think that you can go far and fast with help of others. My Pilates loves, when you rush a movement. You actually never fully get everything out of a movement, right? In order to rush it, something has to let go. So either letting go the connections of muscles, or you're not fully extending your legs and footwork and fully closing the springs. You're kind of just operating in the middle, and that is movement.


    Lesley Logan 10:43  

    And so it's like I'm doing something. There might even be a burn, but you're actually not actually getting the full openness of the hips, the full reach through the feet, the full expression of the exercise. Where the benefits are actually, Jay would always say the Pilates happens the last two inches, right? So you got to finish. You got to close. You have to do a full expression. So it's important that we're not just going so fast and using momentum because while it does feel like we are doing something, we are actually not getting the benefits of the something that we are doing. So if you are my constant doer, mover, working all the time, you're likely unable to have clarity in what it is you're doing because you can't find clarity in rush, right? When you are speeding down the freeway, do you see all the signs? No, they're blur. I remember we were doing something, and Brad was going faster than we should, and he missed the exit, and it cost us so many minutes because we missed the exit. If we had just been going at the speed that we were supposed to be going, we wouldn't have, right, and so when you're rushing, you cannot have clarity. You cannot catch the subtle things that are going, "Hey, look it over here," or "What's going on here," or "Maybe this is a turning you have to have." So that mental noise just becomes this level 10, and that intuition, which we talked about in the past solo episodes, the reason why we have a hard time hearing our intuition is we're just moving too fast to even hear it, right? Because it's often like a whisper. It's often there, "Hey, hi." Your intuition's not yelling at you, right? Your intuition's when you're ready. I'm just right here to let you know that that's the right turn I want you to take. And you know, the other thing is, is if you're ending each day exhausted, if you are my listeners who are in my age group or older, ending your day exhausted does not make it easier for you to do the other things you want to do. Doesn't make it easier for you to show up for yourself for your movement practices. It doesn't make it easier for you to sleep well at night. You're causing so much stress and cortisol. It affects how you sleep. It affects how your body is shaped, right? What's going on with how you digest food? All of that. All because we're just rushing, rushing, rushing. So we actually say yes to things that, if we had just taken time to really fully think about, we would have said no to. I find there's two parts because of the ADHD that I have. My brain goes three steps ahead, so it's always a little faster, and I cut people off and I make assumptions. And it's not because I'm a rude asshole; just because my brain's like, "I'm three steps ahead. I know what you're going to say." In other times, my ADHD works in this amazing place where I can just get into focus mode, and I can do a lot in a little bit of time. And the problem with focus modes and ADHD is you never get to plan when they're going to happen. But what I have found is, if I am taking time to pause for the day to make sure I'm aware of what I'm supposed to be working on, I'm aware of where we're trying to go and grow. It allows me to enjoy those focus modes when they happen, and to at least have awareness when I'm actually in a rush state. Oh, I'm trying to rush this right now. I'm trying to push this through. It never feels good, right? It feels like it's harder work to do. Yeah. So what we need, right? Because now that I we're all in the band, I agree. We go okay, so I just need to hit pause. Yeah, but it's first you have to have the courage to hit pause. So first, just having, I think I need to hit pause is a great place to be, right? Because that's your first breakthrough to many breakthroughs.


    Lesley Logan 13:56  

    How many times have you had the most amazing ideas when you're in the shower, or you're on a walk, or you're checking out the moon or a sunrise, and all of a sudden you have this thing that hits you, right? Those are pauses, and notice they're not very long. We don't have to pause for five hours. Doesn't have to be a full day off. It could just be a pause. It could just literally the length of a breath, right? Or it could be five minutes, or it can be in between Zoom calls. You always plan for 10 minutes to go from one call to the next to make sure you've wrapped up your thoughts on the last call. Like self-reflection is one of the best ways to retain information from the things that you did. All that brain fog that people talk about, I think a lot of it is actually just rushing so much. I think I do believe that there is brain fog, but I think a lot of it is like we're not giving ourselves enough time between calls to reflect on what would just happen, what we have to do, and where we're going, so that then the next call starts, we could actually be present enough to take it in, right? So rest is also never supposed to be a reward. I see way too many women using rest or a day off or a spa as reward for hard work. Nope. You actually are always worthy of rest, always, all the time, no matter what, because rest is not. "Oh, I'm going to go and hit this rest stop over here on a long drive." Yes, you're new to those things. It's these little moments that happen throughout the day that allow you to feel like you, to feel like you are in charge. If you haven't read The Big Leap, I talk about all the time, but there's a whole chapter on time. There's Einstein time and there's Newtonian time. And if you listen to episode 400, I actually asked Gay Hendricks about this time chapter. And the reality is, is when we are in our genius zone, we are in our flow state. We can bend time, really, truly can. But a lot of us are rushing around and putting ourselves in Newtonian time, and that is not. You actually end up watching the time go by faster. Ever realized like minutes are long when you're holding a plank, but they're fast when you're just sitting on a phone call with your friends. Yeah, right. Because you don't want to be in the plank, but you do want to be on the phone call with your friends. Same thing. You can actually make time be in your control, but you have to hit pause, right? So, what I'd love for you to do over the next couple days before our second episode comes out, which is hopefully some wonderful ways to help you hit pause. I just want you to notice where you can put five-minute buffer gaps. Can you change any of the calls or meetings you have to have an extra five minutes in between? Can you text people? "I need like, hey, we know we have a call tomorrow at 10. I'll be there at 10:05." And in those five minutes, you are not allowed to pick up your phone or check your emails or anything. You get to go to the bathroom if you need a bio break. But I would also love for you just to take a look outside. Maybe go outside. Maybe smell a plant in your house, something that is not on a screen, and notice what feels good and how you feel before you go into your next call. That's your homework. Five-minute gap buffers, as many of them as you can between all of your meetings, and see what you love to do in those five minutes, not where it feels like, "Oh my god, this is the longest five minutes. I have to sit here and look at this wall." No, not that. Something that allows you to just, you almost look forward to it, right? You almost are like, "My god, I can't wait for this call to be over because I get my buffer." Like that's what I want. 


    Lesley Logan 17:00  

    All right, Be It babe, let me know questions you have. I would love to hear your rushing stories and what maybe you realized in self-reflecting that you missed out on. Here's the thing: the times in my life where I've rushed and missed out on some great opportunities because I just didn't hit pause long enough to think about it. Those things were not for me, right? What is for you will not pass you. But in reflecting on what I could have done differently, it meant that I didn't miss future opportunities, and I get to take advantage of them and use them in the best way. All right, thank you so much for listening to our podcast. Until next time, Be It Till You See It. 


    Lesley Logan 17:49  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


    Brad Crowell 18:32  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 18:37  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


    Brad Crowell 18:41  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


    Lesley Logan 18:48  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


    Brad Crowell 18:52  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

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    19m - Aug 25, 2026
  • 723. Confidence Comes From Keeping Your Own Promises

    Lesley Logan records from the road in the final days of her tenth tour, keeping her Friday check in honest about the hard parts before the good ones. She names the boundary problem that highly communicative people run into most, then celebrates a milestone that took several years of quiet groundwork to reach.

     

    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.


    In this episode you will learn about:

    • The challenges of dealing with people who make their emergencies hers.
    • The internal argument a perfectionist has under deadline pressure.
    • How eLevate teacher training paves the way for the right people.
    • How Heidi made time for her live mat class despite everything.
    • Recognizing that smallest wins actually count the most.


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    Episode Transcript:

    Lesley Logan 0:00  

    It's Fuck Yeah Friday. 


    Brad Crowell 0:01  

    Fuck yeah! 


    Lesley Logan 0:02  

    Get ready for some wins. 


    Lesley Logan 0:05  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 


    Lesley Logan 0:48  

    Hello, Be It babe. How are you? Happy Fuck Yeah Friday. Here we are. I am two days from being home, so I have another stop, and then a day off, and then our last stop on the tour. So I am coming at you. Well, I've recorded this early, but somewhere I am in the Arizona area, I feel like, and so we're wrapping up our 10th tour. Oh my God, it's insane! So I'm just so excited to be in your ears today. What was your win? That is what this episode is all about. Also, being real, getting to have a moment and sharing a win. So I hope you enjoy these quick-and-dirty episodes. I hope it helps you kind of be with what's going on because I don't always share on socials, and also I feel like it's weird when people share on socials and expect everyone to have seen it. That doesn't make any sense. It's not all about me. And the reality is, I said this on the Plymouth Perspectives podcast. I'm such a reluctant social media user. Truly, it's part of the thing you have to do to do the thing you want to do in this world, right? Okay. If you are wanting longer episodes, if you're new here, you want to check out our Tuesday and Thursday episodes. Sometimes we do an interview and a recap, and sometimes it's this new thing we're doing this last year, which is solo episodes of me just talking about a topic that you sent in. So send in your wins and your topic requests or guest requests to beitpod.com/questions. Thank you for the requests you've sent in. I will say, I too would love to interview Michelle Obama. That is probably not going to happen until we are a top 0.01% podcast. So keep them coming, keep them coming. I appreciate that you think that I'm that great, though. So if you're in some of my memberships, we have a channel where you get to have a moment, you get to have a little bitch session, and then you have to share a win. So I feel this is a great place where I can actually tell you life is not all rainbows and butterflies, and also have a win, and then share your wins. 


    Lesley Logan 2:31  

    So my need-a-moment is people who make their emergencies yours. Oh my freaking goodness! I am a very organized-ish person, meaning that I have a whole team that makes sure I get everything done when it's supposed to be done, and they ask me to do it ahead of time so I can procrastinate and all the good things. But recently, I had a lot of different people send emails asking for this thing and this thing from me, and they need this description, need this bio, they need these pictures, and blah blah blah. And first of all, we probably sent it in. Second of all, I appreciate that you need those things. I'm happy to give them to you, but "I need this as soon as possible." Hold on, it's a Friday, you know? Don't you think I'm also catching up on my week? So just people who make their emergencies your emergencies, and I do the best I can.


    Lesley Logan 3:16  

    And I also am a highly communicative person, so I find myself feeling really terrible because then I'm, "Hey, I can get this to you on Monday." And, oh my god, what if they need it sooner? Well, then they should have asked sooner. But I have this whole argument. I have this AuDHD. The ADHD has that rejection sensitivity disorder. I'm like, "I need to do it now because they'll never ask me again," right? Which is not true. And then the autistic part: they should have asked earlier. I don't have the time. The conversation I have in my brain when people try to make their emergencies mine, because recovering perfectionist overachiever wants to just get it done when you ask for it, and that's just not how life works. Because then I'll get nothing done.


    Lesley Logan 3:54  

    So anyways, that's my moment. But here's my win. So last month, we opened up the doors for round eight of my eLevate program, which is my teacher-training program, which is also the only place where people can become a teacher for UpLift, my new program. It is for comprehensively trained teachers who want to get to know the method, they like the way I teach, they want to study with me. It's a small group of people, right? It's a growing group of alumni, but it's a small group of people when you're in it. And so we opened up the doors in July, and I was just like, "Oh my gosh! I can't believe we're talking 2028. I have dates for 2028." That just overwhelms me. But we had so many people want the spots, and they're so excited. And actually, while they wish they could be in 2027, they're excited about having the time to prepare, prepare their schedule, prepare their budget, all that stuff. And I'm just so pleased because of what eLevate attracts and the women and a few good men that I get to spend time with. I'm just truly grateful. And so I guess the win is just the culmination of the last several years of this program really paving the way for the right people to find it. And round seven literally is wrapping up in the next few weeks, which means that they're going to be in the alumni group by the end of September, and I'm just so stoked for them because they're just epic humans already, and I've just watched them grow and elevate so much. So this feels like a big win instead of having a small win. I mean, I've been on tour. There's probably a lot of small wins, but I haven't recorded them for you yet. So I'm going with a big win this week. Your wins can be quite small. In fact, most wins are. Sometimes, "I got a full night's sleep last night." Right? That's sometimes what the win is. 


    Lesley Logan 5:29  

    So, in fact, here is a great example of a win that I want you to send in. This is from @heidi.elle.18. Heidi's an OPC member, but she sent this in. She wrote, "Getting in our 45-minute live mat class yesterday." So this is a woman who's got kids, she's got a job, she's on summer break, and she made time for the live OPC class that happened. So I'm so grateful, Heidi, that you showed up. I'm grateful that you recognize it is a win. It is not easy to make time not only for the 45-minute class, but also for the hang time afterwards, and I'm just so grateful. I love seeing your smiling face on that, and also thank you for sending it in so we can inspire people that getting your workout in that you had planned is a win. If you did the thing that you said you wanted to do, that's a massive win. In fact, that's where confidence comes from: doing the thing you said you'd do. So make the things you want to do something you can actually do, right? Don't put so much pressure on yourself. And I recognize that my need-a-moment is the whole debate in my head of not putting pressure on myself. But see? You know what? I'm working on it too, and so can you.


    Lesley Logan 6:27  

    All right, your mantra before you take on the weekend is, "I am a beacon of self-love." Oh, I'm a beacon of self-love. I'm a beacon of self-love. Have you ever heard that you have to give what you need in the world? If you're a beacon of self-love, can you imagine all the love you're gonna get? Oh my god! You will. You'll put it out there. It'll come back. It's all that good stuff. So thank you for being here. Thanks for being with our short episodes. Check out our longer-form episodes in the feed that you're listening to this on, and let us know what your takeaways are. We want to hear from you. Until next time, Be It Till You See It.


    Lesley Logan 6:56  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


    Brad Crowell 7:39  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 7:44  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


    Brad Crowell 7:48  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


    Lesley Logan 7:55  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


    Brad Crowell 7:59  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time. 




    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    8m - Aug 21, 2026
  • 722. The Truth About Joining Sessions as a Newbie

    In this recap episode, Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell dig into their favorite takeaways from the conversation with Tara Connaghan, a traditional Irish fiddle player from Donegal whose award-winning podcast decodes the unspoken rules of Irish music sessions. They unpack why unfamiliar spaces feel so intimidating to newcomers, the etiquette of joining as a beginner, the three kinds of people every new learner needs.


    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

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    In this episode you will learn about:

    • The importance of supporting local Black-owned businesses.
    • The etiquette of easing into a group as a beginner.
    • Brad's jazz sessions and what his class taught him about listening.
    • Why daily practice outperforms one long session each week.
    • How filling your cup makes everything else feel easier.


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    Episode Transcript:

    Lesley Logan 0:00  

    When you are a beginner, there is an anxiety about how do I join? What's the etiquette? Do I have enough skills to be here? Am I allowed to sit here? Can I sit there? And she explained that you're scared because you just don't know how to enter the space. And I think it's really important to acknowledge that when we're a beginner at things, we're allowed to have some fear, you know?


    Lesley Logan 0:15  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 


    Lesley Logan 0:58  

    Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap, where my co-host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the warm convo I have with Tara Connaghan in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to the interview, you can pause this, go listen to that, and then come back to this. You can listen to this, then go back to that. She has an Irish accent.


    Brad Crowell 1:12  

    Yes, she does.


    Lesley Logan 1:13  

    So sometimes that's fun to listen to.


    Brad Crowell 1:15  

    It sure was. She's also a musician. Love that.


    Lesley Logan 1:18  

    Yes, yes. And she has a great podcast as well. It's winning awards, even though it's brand new, because it's so niche. It's a niche in a niche. It's kind of amazing, but we'll get into that in a minute. First, today is August 20, 2026, and it's World Mosquito Day because, you know what? Those little fuckers need their own day. Honestly, because you need to be reminded that they suck. But you need to know how bad it is because it's...


    Brad Crowell 1:39  

    Literally.


    Lesley Logan 1:40  

    Oh, that's so funny! Pun wasn't intended, but I slayed that. So World Mosquito Day unites global health efforts every August 20th commemorating Sir Ronald Ross's 1897 discovery that mosquitoes transmit malaria. Well, thanks, Sir Ronald Ross. Do you think his parents named him Sir Ronald Ross, or he was Ronald Ross, and then they got the "Sir"?


    Brad Crowell 2:01  

    He got the "Sir."


    Lesley Logan 2:01  

    Oh, okay.


    Brad Crowell 2:02  

    Yeah.


    Lesley Logan 2:02  

    Well, this crucial day raises awareness about the ongoing threat of mosquito-borne illnesses like dengue, dengue?


    Brad Crowell 2:09  

    Dengue


    Lesley Logan 2:09  

    Dengue, Zika. 


    Brad Crowell 2:11  

    Yeah, it would be normally known as dengue fever.


    Lesley Logan 2:13  

    Yeah, dengue fever, Zika, and yeah. 


    Brad Crowell 2:16  

    Good luck on that one.


    Lesley Logan 2:20  

    Chikungunya. I'm reminding.


    Brad Crowell 2:25  

    It could be Chikungunya. Chikungunya.


    Lesley Logan 2:28  

    I'm not sure. Yeah. Anyways, well, my speech therapy didn't help me with that one. Discover how you can protect yourself, support research, and contribute to eradication initiatives worldwide. You know what you can do? Keep your fucking still water from being still. You guys, stir your pools. Don't let, you know, I listened to an episode of The Daily years ago when it was good, and it talked about how there are these mosquitoes that can live in a capful, you know those plastic water bottles? That size capful of water in a tire across continents. So on a ship that takes months, and then they can just spread. They don't need a lot of water anymore. So you guys have got to move your water around. Do you remember when we lived in LA and there was a big deal about the virus, and we were like at the airport. Everybody was on guard for puddles and drying things up. It was a weird community. It was before COVID, but LA had a community because people were getting... I don't think it was Zika, but there was a virus being carried by the mosquitoes, and it was a reason why even the airport had to clean up their water. They were giving out fines.


    Brad Crowell 3:31  

    I can't remember what it was, because Zika is usually in Asia, but it obviously can spread.


    Lesley Logan 3:37  

    So obviously, I talk about standing water around your home, but applying an EPA-registered repellent and raising awareness about mosquito-borne diseases is a great way to support the public health initiatives. Isn't it funny if we just start going around. Everybody today, I want you to go around and go, "It's World Mosquito Day. Do you have any standing water? Do you know how to get rid of mosquitoes?" So Vegas was notoriously known for having no mosquitoes, and now we have lots of mosquitoes. We have a whole mosquito problem, and at UNLV, there's a woman who studies the whole thing. But now we have mosquitoes, and it's really annoying because I thought I only got bit by mosquitoes when I was in Cambodia. Now we get bit all the time.


    Brad Crowell 4:10  

    It's not even, I mean, honestly, LA was, I felt like I got more mosquitoes in LA than Cambodia, but it depends on the time of year in Cambodia. I think it depends on the season, of course. But there definitely are mosquitoes there. We had a lot more in Thailand than Cambodia.


    Lesley Logan 4:26  

    Thailand killed me. Cambodia, I've learned to figure it out. And when you come to our retreat in Cambodia, we tell you what to do so you don't get bit. All right, you guys, what do we got going on? We're on our way back from the tour, actually. So we're probably either in El Paso or on our way to Tucson right now. We're gonna wrap it up in a few days in Las Vegas. And something you need to know, I'm really, really proud of. I started a teacher-training program for new teachers. So if you heard the rumor, it is true, and it's called upLift, and it will start early next year at a studio, hopefully near you. So, in fact, in the next couple weeks, I'll be taking applications from the people who want to license and teach the program, and then this fall, I'll be training them how to do it. Then I'll be working alongside them to make sure that it is done the way I know it will work and change your life and change the lives of the people that you teach. So you should go to xxll.co/uws if you would like to be a student. This is for first-time teachers or partially trained teachers, or maybe people who want to bridge into classical and they want it to be more of an in-person experience. So xxll.co/uws. And then for those who are already comprehensively trained and you want more of a master's program, you can go watch the recent eLevate Live Q&A call I did at lesleylogan.co/elevate. That's L-E-S-L-E-Ylogan.co/elevate. I did a mini class. I answered a ton of questions. We have a bunch of grads on there. We are filling 2028 as we speak, and only people who graduate eLevate can actually teach upLift. So if you are like, "Oh my God, how do I get my application in?" You won't even find out until you have done eLevate. So there you go. All right, you guys, we got a lot going on. Balanced Body sponsored our tour, so we're so excited because we have to take Contrology equipment everywhere, and we're spending a lot of time with them the rest of this year. I'll tell you more about that in a second. But thank you to Balanced Body for sponsoring our summer tour, and they are also sponsoring our winter tour this year, which we will announce next month. So make sure that you're on our email list so you don't miss out because literally on the summer tour, several cities sold out in one day. 


    Brad Crowell 6:27  

    In one day. 


    Lesley Logan 6:28  

    In one day.


    Brad Crowell 6:29  

    Yeah. So how do you get on the waitlist? Go to OPC.me/events.


    Lesley Logan 6:33  

    There you go. Go do that. Okay. So if you're new here, one of the ways you can actually support us is by being an OPC member. But if that's more of a commitment than you want to make, when you buy our amazing flashcards at opc.me/flashcards, not only do you support us and this podcast, but you're also supporting the Nevada SPCA. Just so you know.


    Brad Crowell 6:49  

    Yeah, but I just wanted to say before we move on, becoming a member, you can start with a trial. So it's a 40-day trial for 40 bucks, and you pick the trial based on the equipment you have access to, and then you get to come hang in this awesome community we have. We just revamped our community page, the whole community platform. It's really cool and just awesome people. So not only that, you can do it anywhere you are.


    Lesley Logan 7:15  

    Yeah, anywhere you are, at any level, with whatever you got. It's pretty great. It is the workout that works for you. That's what we say. So you guys, we're going to be home for a bit, and then we're going to be in Cambodia. You cannot join us this year in Cambodia, but you can certainly join us next year by getting on our waitlist. We will open up our early-bird special in January. If you hear a dog snoring in the background, her name is Darla. We cannot stop this; it's just going to keep going. But before we head to Cambodia, we're actually driving to Sacramento. I'm teaching, and we'll have a booth at the Sacramento POT. It is the Balanced Body 50th-Year Celebration. The ultimate, the penult, the penultimate, the, what do you call it? I mean, they've been celebrating all year long at all the different POTs.


    Lesley Logan 7:53  

    No, but anyways, it's at the headquarter area, and it's gonna be so much fun. And then after that, I'll be at the POT India. So I am at all the 50th anniversary POTS. Basically, I'll be a


    Brad Crowell 8:03  

    A 50-year celebration is called a golden jubilee or a golden anniversary.


    Lesley Logan 8:08  

    The Jubilee. I don't think they know that. I don't think they do either because they could have done a Jubilee instead of a whatever party. Anyways, here we are. So, if you want information about the Sacramento POT or what I'm doing in Goa, India, which, by the way, it looks stunning. I really will just say yes. I said yes because it's going to be at this stunning resort at the beach in Goa, and there's a bunch of Americans who are also going because they're like, "I wanted to take a workshop from you, and I've always wanted to go to India." And I'm like, "Well, see you there." Me too. So xxll.co/pot will get you information on both Sacramento and Goa. I have no idea how to get you information, but I am going to teach in China this year.


    Brad Crowell 8:44  

    Woo!


    Lesley Logan 8:45  

    This is a big deal.


    Brad Crowell 8:46  

    Yeah, just outside of Shanghai.


    Lesley Logan 8:47  

    Yeah, I don't even know how I'm getting there yet at the time of this recording. But we're figuring it out, everyone. Basically, here's what's going on. I am doing a lot of traveling with and without Brad this year because next year I'm not, because next year we're focused only on upLift, eLevate, our tours, and so it's quite an exciting time. I haven't said yes to anything for next year, and we're recording this in the summer, which is kind of insane because usually I'm already booked out, but we're not because we're saying, "Not yet, not yet." Anyways, all right, we got to get into this episode, but before that, Brad, what is the awareness that we're bringing people's attention to today?


    Brad Crowell 9:25  

    Yeah. So as you know, we switched to charity of the week instead of questions. So today we are doing something slightly different. We encourage you to seek out local businesses in your community to celebrate National Black Business Month. Yeah. So this month, instead of highlighting just one charity, we're focused on the whole month to go out and support your local Black-owned businesses. Why? Back in 1921 in Tulsa, Oklahoma, it was home to one of the wealthiest Black communities in the country, the Greenwood District, known as Black Wall Street. In the span of about 15 years, it had built up hundreds of Black-owned businesses: grocers, theaters, hotels, doctors' offices, over 1000 homes. And then, over a two-day period, white mobs, some of them literally deputized by the city, burned more than 35 city blocks. They burned them to the ground, and as many as 300 people died. Roughly 10,000 were left homeless, and not a single person was ever prosecuted. Yeah, for decades it barely appeared in the history books, and Greenwood residents rebuilt, but the community never got back to where it fully was. Survivors were never compensated. So when we talk about supporting Black-owned businesses today, it's not just a nice idea; it's part of rebuilding something that was deliberately destroyed.


    Lesley Logan 10:42  

    It's crazy because I didn't learn about this. I heard about this around 2020.


    Brad Crowell 10:46  

    Yeah, I started to hear about this. Actually, there were TV shows that were focused on this in the superhero world, and I started watching it, and I was like, "Whoa, this is crazy! How did I never hear about this?" And then I started to really learn more about it, and it's just tragic. It's just unbelievable. It's unbelievable.


    Lesley Logan 11:04  

    Here's the thing: if a hurricane does this, we're in an uproar if the government doesn't go in fast enough and fix things, right? But this was deliberately done. This is not, it's just hate racism. Yeah. And then no one went in and helped any of these people, and so yet again, a group of people were set back even further. So not only did we not do restitution after slavery, when they finally do get ahead, well, let's burn it to the ground and create even more problems. And so it's just really fucking frustrating.


    Brad Crowell 11:34  

    There is a, you know, if you're wondering how to go support local Black-owned businesses in your community, there's a great resource that you can use, that is ByBlack.us. It's a national directory built by the U.S. Black Chamber of Commerce. It's searchable by location and even has curated city guides. So wherever you're listening from, you can find Black-owned businesses near you. And if you're local to us in Las Vegas, check out the Greater Las Vegas Black Chamber of Commerce at glvbcc.org, and also the Henderson Black Chamber of Commerce or the local directory called Black Biz Connect Las Vegas.


    Lesley Logan 12:16  

    Yeah, and that came up just when we were doing this search, so you can also figure that out by putting your city in. It's just a great thing to do if you want to just be... Here's the deal: we vote with our dollars, and so every single day there are things that we have to do for these fucking billionaires because we can't get away from it. But also, you can do this, and you can make small changes. So it's really important. We recently, at the time of recording this, had donated $800 to the Nevada SPCA, right? And I was like, "Oh, I know it's only $800," and they're like, "It's a lot of money. Thank you so much." It's from your flashcards for quarter two. And I said, "Oh, can I find out what does that do?" And they were able to show me what $800 can do, right? It can feed 114 shelter animals for one week. So when you take your dollars and you put them locally into a locally owned business, you are making major impacts. The ripple effects are things you can't even understand or see. And then when you direct that to being a Black-owned business, you are actually helping. It's just something that's really, really amazing because that means family members and friends of that business owner are seeing that they can be successful as an entrepreneur. If you can't see things happen in your life, it's really hard to be it till you see it. So I just think it's important. I thought it was a great way to honor this month. And so just put your city in and put "Black-owned businesses," and you'll get a list, I'm sure.


    Brad Crowell 13:33  

    Yeah, awesome. So thanks for supporting your local Black-owned businesses. And if you have any Black-owned businesses, or actually any charities at all, that you suggest that we do some research on and then bring to the pod, text us at 310-905-5534. 310-905-5534. Stick around. We'll be right back. 


    Brad Crowell 13:54  

    All right. Well, let's talk about Tara Connaghan. Tara is a traditional Irish fiddle player from Donegal with nearly 40 years of experience playing music. I think she said more than 40 years of experience. In fact, I think she said she's been teaching for 40 years.


    Lesley Logan 14:10  

    I mean, she doesn't look that old, so I don't think she could be. I don't think she's in her 60s.


    Brad Crowell 14:14  

    Regardless, she's very, very clearly an expert. She's the creator and host of the award-winning podcast, In Tune with Tradition: Perspectives on Session Etiquette and Irish Traditional Music. That is a very niche pod.


    Lesley Logan 14:29  

    It's a niche in a niche.


    Brad Crowell 14:30  

    It breaks down the unspoken cultural rules of Irish music sessions. She also teaches adults and leads private immersion experiences in Ireland for musicians wanting to dive deeper on session culture. Side note: She actually has a tour coming up in September 2026, so next month. So go to sessionetiquette.com/retreat for details. Pretty sure she said it's happening in Ireland. 


    Lesley Logan 14:55  

    I think so. And also, by the way, if you don't even know what Irish music is and session etiquette, don't be like, "What is this podcast episode about?" I don't know, because actually everything that we discussed about that can be applied to being a beginner at anything. So I really, really like it.


    Brad Crowell 15:09  

    Yeah. Yeah. So.


    Lesley Logan 15:11  

    Well, I'll just go first. So I think we can all understand. When you're a beginner, there can be a performance anxiety of sorts. You're not sure if you're wanting to be a knitter. Okay, an example: Andrea Maida and her husband and Brad and I went to a knitting store because Andrea Maida, a dear friend of ours, Pilates instructor, is a knitter. So we go to a knitting store, and there's a whole table of all these knitters, and they're just hanging out. And Andrea's like, "We can just go talk to them." And I'm, "I don't... are we allowed to go talk to them?" And then the first thing someone says, "Are you knit worthy?" Remember that? "Are you knit worthy?" And I was, "I don't know." If I was an aspiring knitter, I can tell you right now that I didn't feel welcome. I felt anxiety. But the other people, "Oh, don't let her get to you. You can sit down here." But I didn't know the etiquette of walking into a knit place. And so, when you are a beginner, there is an anxiety about how do I join? What's the etiquette? Do I have enough skills to be here? Am I allowed to sit here? Can I sit there? And she explained that you're scared because you just don't know how to enter the space. And I think it's really important to acknowledge that when we're beginners at things, we're allowed to have some fear, you know. 


    Brad Crowell 16:15  

    100%. I mean, it's just natural. It's part of it. It's like getting on stage the first time you're on stage. Your throat is parched. You're completely freaking out inside, but it just takes practice. The more you do it, the less you're in that headspace. Yeah. But also, too.


    Lesley Logan 16:32  

    You play jazz, right? You play jazz.


    Brad Crowell 16:35  

    I played jazz. It's been a long time.


    Lesley Logan 16:37  

    But there are sessions. There's times when people get together to just play, and then there are times people can join in, right?


    Brad Crowell 16:43  

    Yes. So I'm going to talk a little bit more about that when I share what I really loved about this conversation. But yes, in the jazz world, it's called a jam session, right? And you hear musicians, "Let's get together and jam." I generally hate a jam session when it's not jazz music, honestly. It was interesting to hear her talk about the different levels of learning and the different layers of how people interact in a jam session. Because when I was younger, when I was studying jazz and I was performing, I play the trombone, for all of you who don't know. I started playing in fourth grade, and I went all the way through college studying very intentionally on the trombone. And I was really good at the time, really, really good. I wasn't ever recording on the trombone because what I was really passionate about was playing the bass and singing. So even though I was really good on the trombone, that wasn't really where my heart was at the time. When I was playing it in college, you'd get together with people, and if they were not that good on their instrument or they hadn't had a lot of experience playing with other people in a space where you're listening to other people, then you don't know what to do. And this is a perfect parallel. Have you ever been in a conversation where someone only talks about themselves?


    Lesley Logan 18:06  

    Yeah.


    Brad Crowell 18:06  

    The whole fucking time.


    Lesley Logan 18:08  

    Yeah.


    Brad Crowell 18:08  

    And they never ask a reciprocating question.


    Lesley Logan 18:11  

    Yeah.


    Brad Crowell 18:12  

    It's not a back-and-forth.


    Lesley Logan 18:13  

    Yeah.


    Brad Crowell 18:14  

    Yeah. Musicians can do that too. They can just take over.


    Lesley Logan 18:17  

    Well, and I think to wrap up my point, what I love is just like she says, once you learn the rules and the etiquette, the anxiety can disappear because you know what the rules are. I think a lot of times some of us are afraid to be beginners, and then we don't ever get to figure out what the rules are, so we never feel like we can be a beginner. But if you know what the rules are, then you know where you can play, right? I think, in a non-musical example, I get people who want to be on this podcast all the time. They're like, "We should do a pod swap." They pitch me. I'm okay. I love the balls. I love that confidence. They have 10 episodes. I have 700. I appreciate the invite, but that's not a mutual thing. I'm bringing so much more expertise. They're not going to have the conversation I want to have with 700 episodes with their 10. Or maybe they have a whole other following. They could back that up. Maybe they're up-and-coming. But really, no offense to them, it's not like they are below, but they actually need to go get experience with other people with 10 episodes, coming over here is not really going to be helpful for them because they don't really, you have to have experience to play. Like in Pilates, I absolutely love taking sessions from people who've been teaching for decades, right? But I'm not going to be, "Oh, you want to do a trade, Jay? Sandy, should we trade?" No. Not that I can't teach them something, but really it's not an equal exchange of information.


    Brad Crowell 19:37  

    Yeah, I mean, this rolls straight into one of the things I loved about the conversation. She was talking about the etiquette of joining sessions as a newbie or a beginner. She said it's a very gentle process where you're kind of coming into it in a gentle way, and the anxiety of it and the, you have to be self-aware enough to know that you are easing your way in. For me, the easy parallel is growing up in a large family where I had lots of aunts and uncles and thinking about Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas dinner or something where everyone came over and they had the kids' table and they had the adults, right? And the kids' table, their conversation was generally about kid stuff, but I always ended up gravitating toward the adult table. And when I would get there, I had nothing to contribute to the conversation because I was 12, right? What do I know? I don't know anything about anything. But I'm listening to the adults talk about adult things, which I didn't even know what they were talking about. Didn't matter. I didn't have anything to contribute, so I didn't say anything, right? So when I was mentioning earlier, sometimes people can be in conversations where they 100% dominate the conversation, and it's not a conversation; it's one-sided. Alternatively, the other side of that is never contributing to a conversation and not having the confidence to speak up. And a lot of people never get past that, right? Even imagine if I was 12, then 15, then 18, and I'm still sitting at the adult table, but I'm not talking. I'm not participating in the conversation. I'm still taking it all in, but why am I not contributing back, right? So there's these two sides of the fence there. 


    Lesley Logan 21:19  

    There's two extremes, and there's allowing yourself to be an observer because you're new to that table, and then at some point, you got to shit or get off the pot.


    Brad Crowell 21:27  

    Yeah, that's right. At some point, you actually have to participate. 


    Lesley Logan 21:30  

    And I think where it happens is there has to be someone at that table who also invites you in. 


    Brad Crowell 21:33  

    Yeah, maybe. Yeah. 


    Lesley Logan 21:34  

    Remember the knitting table we started with? That woman who was, "Are you knit worthy?" I was, "I don't think so." I don't think I even replied to her. But then there was, "Oh, come sit down! Don't let her scare you!" Right?


    Brad Crowell 21:45  

    That's right.


    Lesley Logan 21:45  

    There needs to be someone who is aware of all the dynamics, who can be the guide.


    Brad Crowell 21:51  

    Yeah.


    Lesley Logan 21:51  

    You know, and so then you attach yourself to the guide, and you allow the guide to show you what's going on, what's the appropriate behavior here. We're watching The Pitt again, you guys. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. There's so much nuance to The Pitt. I love it so much. Dynamics, everything, everything. I can apply science of learning to The Pitt. All these different things, right? And that Mel King, bless her soul, her character just speaks in my heart. But she's going to high-five people after they save a guy's life, and no one high-fives her because that's not the etiquette. It's not what you do. It's your first day, babe. You're in their third hour, right? And so she's, "Oh, okay." She sits down. So she's trying to observe what the behavior is and trying to learn how to fit in. And it takes time. You're going to get it wrong. And that's the thing. You are going to fuck up at some point. You are going to think that you're invited in and you're doing the right thing. But actually, they changed the rules last week, and they moved it half an hour. And that doesn't make you a bad person. You just got to have self-awareness, you know, and then also a little gumption.


    Brad Crowell 22:50  

    Yeah, and I think, you know, thinking back to etiquette of joining a session as a newbie or beginner, it is valuable to sit at the kids' table when you're a kid so that you can have conversations with your peers, and then you learn something from that so that when you do move to the adults' table, you have some understanding of just how conversation works. So in the same way, with music. 


    Lesley Logan 23:11  

    I think it's good to outgrow the kids' table because, yes, then you can recognize that you were the guide at the kids' table, and now you're over at the adults' table, so you can spot who the guide is over there. You know, I think it's good to have the experiences.


    Brad Crowell 23:24  

    Yeah, and that's definitely how it works with jazz and jamming. It's important to work with people who are, well, I mean, you talked about this specifically with Tara, the people who are where you once were, people who are where you are at now, and the people who are where you want to be, you know, so that you can be a guide, you can have fun with your peers, you can learn from someone who is where you want to be. And so, for example, here in Las Vegas, once a week I go to a local bar. They host a jam night, and it's a jazz jam night, and they encourage people to sit in. Bring your instrument, come play. We'll always welcome you in. You can always play for a tune or whatever. And then generally, what they'll do is they'll let you name the tune so that you have the confidence. "Okay, I know this song."


    Lesley Logan 24:16  

    Oh, I love that.


    Brad Crowell 24:16  

    You know, and then basically they all know all the songs. These guys are pro musicians. They're absolutely incredibly well-versed, and if they don't know the song, they can figure out the song in the moment. They're amazing, right? And so it's actually really intimidating because, especially if you're a newbie playing with a crew like that, those guys are the pros, right? And so it's great experience, but it's also like you're not really in their circle. You know what I mean?


    Lesley Logan 24:44  

    No. I do love how they approach that. I love that because they're actually saying, "Okay, you've been sitting here long enough. We can see that you're jamming with us. You're tipping your head to the beat or your foot to the beat. You can do something. You pick the song." So they're allowing you to have confidence in what you're going to do. And then they get to invite you in, and then after that they never have to again, or you get to keep coming. You broke the seal. It makes me think of David Doss as well. Remember when David Doss played at the Horse Trailer Hideout, and he noticed you were whistling, and then he's like, "Do you know the song?" He invited you in.


    Brad Crowell 25:14  

    Yeah.


    Lesley Logan 25:15  

    Because you have done karaoke, and you've been in bands, and you've toured as a singer. The stage doesn't scare you, but he does that with people all the time, and often they are not performers. 


    Brad Crowell 25:26  

    Right. Often they're not. 


    Lesley Logan 25:27  

    But he is allowing them to pick a song that they can do well. And I think that's just something for those of us, I think we all can take the application of etiquette and things like that to everything. I have people I go to learn from because they challenge me, right? There are people I challenge, and then there are people that I challenge to challenge people below. We all have to be doing that. Otherwise, first of all, the people that I go to, they go to people. Why? Because if they are not learning from other people, they're not going to be a good teacher for me. So I think we can all recognize where we are as the person who is the expert in one room, but maybe we're a beginner in this room. And how can we make sure that we're moving along, but we're also moving other people along? We can't always be the guide. At some point, we have to pass the torch.


    Brad Crowell 26:11  

    Yeah, you're right. You're right on the money on that. It is important to set yourself up to be a guide for the next generation coming along. There's one other thing I wanted to mention about the conversation before I moved on, and that is about the skill of listening and responding to others in a musical context, but also in a conversation. For example, I just did it. I acknowledged what you said, and then I changed the topic. Right? When I was in college, I don't even know how I met this professor, but he said, "Hey, I want you to come audition for this class. You can't just join the class; you have to audition for the class." I was, "Okay." So I didn't even know what that meant. He didn't give me anything to prepare. I didn't know what was going on, so I just brought a bunch of music with me that I could play. And he was like, "All right, cool. I want you to play this thing," and I just played it. And he was, "Okay, cool. Now I'm going to play this on my guitar, and I want you to play along with me." And then we did. And then he's like, "I'm going to let you lead, and then I'm going to play along with you." And I was, "Okay." And we did this half-hour audition, right? And afterwards, he asked me a few questions, and he invited me to join this class. And literally this entire class was what he taught was the art of listening, right? And it wasn't what the class was even called. I can't remember what it was called. It was an unbelievable class. And this guy is one of the most astounding musicians I've ever met. He could hear an entire song and then write the song down afterwards in musical notation. He had.


    Lesley Logan 27:41  

    That's a crazy memory.


    Brad Crowell 27:42  

    It was perfect memory and perfect pitch. He could listen to a song and understand exactly what was happening. He could see it and write it out. 


    Lesley Logan 27:48  

    What a savant!


    Brad Crowell 27:49  

    Yeah, savant, completely. But what he did in that class was so awkward because there was no music. There was no jam. You didn't have a rhythm that you were playing to. He took our class and he said, "All right, today in class we've got a French horn, two guitars, a bass. We got a guy playing the timbale, which is a weird drum that is amazing, and we got a trombone player, and then there's a guitar player. So go." We're, "What do you mean, go?" And he's, "Someone can start playing, and then if you feel inspired by what they're playing, I want you to play off of what they're playing. And then other people are going to jump in, and they're going to play, and then you're going to play, and together it will turn into something." And we were, "What the hell?"


    Lesley Logan 28:35  

    Every day for a whole semester?


    Brad Crowell 28:37  

    Not every day. It was once or twice a week. I can't remember. But it became one of my favorite classes to go to. And he told us, "You're never allowed to record this class. This class is not about turning this into a song. That's not what this is. What we're doing here is we're listening to each other, and we're responding based on what we're listening to." It was amazing. Unbelievable.


    Lesley Logan 28:56  

    That's cool. By the way, based on the science of learning, that's exactly what you're supposed to do. You just throw people in, and then they have to start swimming.


    Brad Crowell 29:03  

    Yeah.


    Lesley Logan 29:04  

    If you don't, you just start drowning. So somebody feels the pressure enough to go, "Fuck it, okay?" And then other people are like, "Well, I don't want them to be alone," so they jump in. And then what happens is you start taking the knowledge that you have, the skill sets, and you start applying it to your long-term memory. It comes out of short-term memory. It moves into long-term memory because you're forced to hit recall because you're not actually reading any music. When you read music, you can leave that stuff in short-term memory and let it go. It switches to long-term because you're forced to listen and apply something that you've learned that could fit. It's fucking brilliant.


    Brad Crowell 29:37  

    Yeah. People have told me over the years, "Brad, when we're in a conversation, I feel like you're really listening to me," and I genuinely attribute that to this class.


    Lesley Logan 29:46  

    I would say you definitely do that better than I do on every day.


    Brad Crowell 29:49  

    Yeah, because I had to. I learned how to do that in the class, and now it's just part of it, you know. So anyway, just the art of listening and how do you listen and how do you participate in a group like that? How do you encourage and respond? And sometimes you're taking the lead. Sometimes you're not taking the lead.


    Lesley Logan 30:07  

    I think this whole thing you can apply to anything you want to do. 


    Brad Crowell 30:10  

    Yep.


    Lesley Logan 30:10  

    Because everything is with people. So anyways, we have to wrap it up. 


    Brad Crowell 30:14  

    I love it. Sorry, I got really excited about this episode. All right, stick around. We'll be right back. We're going to talk about those Be It Action Items. 


    Brad Crowell 30:21  

    All right. So finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic, or targeted action items can we take away from your conversation with Tara Connaghan? She emphasized that time and consistency are the only true replacements for convenience in the learning process. Okay. Time and consistency are the only true replacements for convenience in the learning process. What does that actually mean? What is she talking about when we say convenience in the learning process?


    Lesley Logan 30:48  

    I think you've got to make learning easier. You have to not only do it for some time, but also consistently. So, for example, I'm doing the upLift Beta program right now. There's one person who, at the time of 30 days, has had halfway to 100 hours already, right? So that is time and consistency. They're picking up different things versus some people who only have nine. Now, I'm not saying one's better than the other. Actually, they're observing different things. But if you are only picking up something one hour once a week, you are going to have a harder time as the learning continues because you're having to restart and remember everything once a week versus if you were to even do 15 minutes every single day


    Brad Crowell 31:27  

    Yeah.


    Lesley Logan 31:27  

    It might even be the same amount of time from the one time a week to the seven times a week. But because you have the consistency of picking it up, you're actually having more convenience.


    Brad Crowell 31:36  

    Yeah. She specifically said you don't build it up in one go; you build it up every single day. And it's more valuable to have 10 to 15 minutes a day than it is to do an hour once a week.


    Lesley Logan 31:46  

    It's the same, by the way, guys. This applies to everything. I do not write one newsletter at a time. I write all of them. I do not do one podcast at a time. We do several because the setup, the getting ready, all that stuff. It allows you. It's just better. So just be more consistent. You put it all together. You'll get there.


    Brad Crowell 32:02  

    I mean, Pilates and music, it's so much muscle memory, you know. And you can't cram muscle memory. It doesn't work. Motor learning does not work. She was equating it to brushing your teeth. You do it twice a day, forever. You've been doing it forever. So it gets to the point where it's rote. You don't even think about it anymore because you've done it so many times. You know how to do it without actually processing it. You can think about something else while you're doing that. She said, "How do you do this? How do you make sure that you get your 10 to 15 minutes a day in?" She said, "Keep your instrument in easy reach. Make it visible."


    Lesley Logan 32:36  

    Yeah, whatever your instrument is.


    Brad Crowell 32:38  

    Yeah.


    Lesley Logan 32:38  

    I love that.


    Brad Crowell 32:38  

    What about you?


    Lesley Logan 32:39  

    She said, "Pick the thing that fills your cup and go for it."


    Brad Crowell 32:42  

    Yeah, just in life.


    Lesley Logan 32:43  

    Yeah, in life, pick the thing that fills your cup and go for it. Do the thing that really gives you so much joy and fills your cup. And I think this is really important. A lot of times, a lot of us are focused on the thing we don't do well, and they're like, "Why can't I get this?" And there are people who can get that for you. I was coaching someone today for Profitable Pilates, and she's not good at tech, but I don't have an online business, right? And so I'm listening to her whole thing she's working on, and she's doing all the right things according to all the right coaches. Then it comes out she needs nine clients, and I was like, "Girl, you don't need to be online for these nine clients for your online business. You could just tell 27 people what you do and then ask them to refer you, and I bet you'll get nine people. At worst, you get three. Yes, those three people refer you three people." But you do not need to pick the thing that you're not good at to make this business work. You need to pick the thing that you're good at and make this business work. So it applies to everything. Pick the thing that fills your cup, and then do that thing because when you fill your cup, everything is easier, including being in rooms that scare you. So yeah, I'm Lesley Logan.


    Brad Crowell 33:44  

    And I'm Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 33:45  

    Thanks so much for being here today. Make sure that you tell Tara what touched you, what made you think of something, what aha moments you had. Send in your wins to the beitpod.com/questions, and we'll see you later. Until next time, Be It Till You See It.


    Brad Crowell 33:57  

    Bye for now.


    Lesley Logan 33:58  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. 


    Brad Crowell 34:41  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 34:46  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


    Brad Crowell 34:50  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


    Lesley Logan 34:57  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


    Brad Crowell 35:00  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



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    35m - Aug 20, 2026
  • 721. Irish Sessions, Etiquette, and Starting New

    Being a beginner as an adult is its own kind of awkward, and most of us just call it nerves. Irish traditional musician and award-winning podcast host Tara Connaghan says that is not it at all. The real problem is that nobody handed you the rules of the room. She takes Lesley through the four stages of learning, why the frustrating middle is where most people quit, and the rock bottom that gave her clarity.

     

    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.


    In this episode you will learn about:

    • Why five to ten minutes of practice a day beats one long session.
    • The trouble with joining sessions built for high level musicians.
    • What makes correcting an adult learner harder than correcting a child.
    • Why boundaries make newcomers feel safe and know if they fit.
    • How to pick a group that matches your current skill level.


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    Episode Transcript:

    Tara Connaghan 0:00  

    It's too intimate to be putting pressure on it because I did lose it. So I put my hands on my heart because I feel like it's here. The music, when I play it, it's here. I suppose maybe because it is a fiddle as well, or a violin, but it's something so close, and I have lost it. I did lose it for a while, and if I lost it again, I don't know if I could survive that second loss. 


    Lesley Logan 0:22  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast, where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world, and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity, and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring bold, executable, intrinsic, and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and be it till you see it. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 


    Lesley Logan 1:03  

    Okay, Be It babe. Here's the deal: we have a unique topic on the podcast, but actually, we go extremely applicable to your life, if anything. We're going to talk about learning. We're going to talk about rock bottoms. We're going to talk about etiquette with the types of people that you're wanting to be around, and I think it's just quite fun. Tara's my new Irish friend that I didn't know I needed. Her name's Tara Connaghan, and she actually is an award-winning podcast host, and she teaches people how to play Irish music and also be in Irish sessions and the etiquette for that. And you're, what? But all of it is, I think, really the conversation is so helpful because if you want to be it till you see it, and I want to be in a pickleball league, or I want to be teaching X thing, or I want to learn this new skill, some of the things we have to understand is the process of learning, and then the etiquette of how do we join these groups? What are those things? So it's really quite fun. I can't wait for you to hear her, and then you'll have to check out her award-winning podcast because that's so great. Here is Tara Connaghan. 


    Lesley Logan 1:59  

    All right, Be It babes. This is going to be fun. This is going to be totally interesting. It's a topic I've definitely never had a guest on before, and that means we get to learn something new, but also learn things that we can use along our way to something unique. So, Tara Connaghan is our guest today. Tara, can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at? 


    Tara Connaghan 2:18  

    Hi, Lesley. I am an Irish traditional musician. I love playing Irish music. I love playing music in Irish music sessions, particularly. I'm from the northwest of Ireland, which is Donegal, which is kind of, it's not part of Northern Ireland, but it's more northerly than Northern Ireland. But it's geographically Northern Ireland, but not politically, if that makes sense. So we're in the Republic of Ireland. Very confusing. And I've lived all over Ireland. I've lived around the world a couple of bits, but mostly I'm always kind of living around Ireland. But I'm back in Donegal now for the last maybe 12 years, and I just love sessions. But I teach adults a lot, and they're always worried about joining into sessions because they're maybe newcomers to the sessions. So I always thought it was performance anxiety that was the problem, but actually, what's feeding the performance anxiety is that they don't know the etiquette to joining sessions. And so that was why I decided to start a podcast almost a year ago about etiquette, teaching people the etiquette of joining sessions, and I'm learning so much. Oh my God, it's amazing. 


    Lesley Logan 3:21  

    Okay, there's so many things I want to talk about because, first of all, what are sessions, and then to know what the etiquette is, but also it just goes into a lot of us do label something performance anxiety or just blanket anxiety when really it's we don't know how to be a beginner, we don't know how to enter something new. We don't know how to... It's hard to join a group because when you're an adult, all the groups are already kind of filled, and you're, I've got to join in on something, and they already know everything, and I don't know, and we don't know how to be beginners. Is that kind of what's happening? 


    Tara Connaghan 3:50  

    Totally, totally, yeah. 


    Lesley Logan 3:52  

    Okay, so just so we have the definitions, what are sessions, and what is the etiquette? 


    Tara Connaghan 3:56  

    A session can be lots of... There's lots of different types of sessions and different functions for sessions, but the main session is that it's a group of musicians who get together to play Irish music. 


    Lesley Logan 4:09  

    Okay. 


    Tara Connaghan 4:09  

    That's kind of the simplest term or the simplest way of explaining it. It's people who kind of know what Irish music is, and they want to play it with each other, and they want to kind of share their music together, and it's like a team. It's a team. 


    Lesley Logan 4:22  

    Okay, like you're making a band, but you're not a band, like a group. 


    Tara Connaghan 4:25  

    Yes, yeah. But there's no... Usually there's... Well, I say usually. A session is usually something without microphones, although sometimes it has microphones because it's maybe for tourists or maybe it's a noisy pub or something. So usually the ones that are in the corner with no microphones, they're just playing to each other. 


    Lesley Logan 4:44  

    It's like jazz when they get together and they just play together. Okay, so there can be sessions of any kind, but sessions for this would be the Irish musicians getting together. And then is the etiquette different for the Irish music versus, I guess, any musician, or what does that look like? 


    Tara Connaghan 5:00  

    I don't think it's particularly different. There may be slight differences. I think maybe one of the things is that you could be playing in a session with some of your heroes. They're quite accessible. Irish traditional musicians almost would be classed as... they're professionals but amateurs. 


    Lesley Logan 5:17  

    Okay, okay. 


    Tara Connaghan 5:18  

    Because they're not all making a living from it. Okay, so you could have some of the highest-quality Irish musicians playing in a session. You might have just come across, or maybe you've never heard Irish music before, and you walk in and you could be listening to some of the most amazing musicians. 


    Lesley Logan 5:35  

    That's so cool. I love this. I love this. So this is... I am grateful for the definitions because you're an expert in this area, but this is the thing for a lot of things, right? You could be in a chess group or a mahjong or pickleball. I'm a Pilates instructor who travels to teach Pilates instructors, and I find that if I want to just be in the group, sometimes the nervousness from the other people who maybe watch my videos or things like that, they get nervous and they have this performance anxiety, and it's like we're just here to kind of hang out. So, I guess if we could take it in a broad sense, how did you get here? Because we don't wake up going, "I'm gonna teach this." You know what I mean? It's not like what you tell someone in kindergarten. "When I grow up, I'm gonna teach Irish music." So, can you go back to your journey? 


    Tara Connaghan 6:23  

    I mentioned that I teach the adults mostly. I have a fortnightly fiddle class that I do, and I also teach at different summer schools or camps or things that we would teach music at throughout the year. And for the last... I've been playing music for nearly 40 years. Oh my god, I am playing music for 40 years. Oh god, that just dawned on me. Oh my god. 


    Lesley Logan 6:45  

    That's amazing, though, but it's annoying because, wow, so much clout, and also, oh, I'm older than I thought. 


    Tara Connaghan 6:53  

    Yes, yeah, yeah. So I've been teaching a long time. I do prefer to teach adults. I just have a natural sort of bond because an adult wants to be there. They're putting all their time and their energy, and they really want to be there. Whereas kids, the parents want them to be there. So I just want to be with people who want to do something, and then I can help them. If they don't want to be there, then I can't help them. So in every workshop, even though it's more about repertoire, when you're in the workshop we're like, we learn this tune and we learn this tune and we learn... So we might learn maybe three tunes a day or maybe one tune, depending on the levels of people. And always within one of those workshops or classes or camps, there will always be questions. Once one person asks, "Do I have enough tunes to start, to play in a session? Or can I sit there? Am I allowed to do this? Am I allowed to do that? Do you have to have this?" There's so many questions, and because there's so many unknowns, and they don't know the answers, they are terrified. And then when you're anxious and terrified, you probably do actions that you wouldn't normally do. 


    Lesley Logan 8:02  

    You make mistakes because the nerves are taking away the ability to be present. 


    Tara Connaghan 8:08  

    Yes, yeah, yeah. And then they start... Then things happen, and they're like, "Oh, and such-and-such gave out to me for doing something." And I think we've all been given out to. It's a natural sort of... If we go back to the animal kingdom, there's kind of a natural, "Look, you don't do that. You don't do that. Don't do this," and you're kind of almost like a cat would do to its kitten. 


    Lesley Logan 8:31  

    Yeah. 


    Tara Connaghan 8:33  

    It's not that you're trying to say you shouldn't be... There's no kind of "you shouldn't" or whatever. But it's just kind of a, "No, no, no. Wait this," or "Wait for your turn," or "Wait to this." So it's kind of the natural... You're teaching the natural language of your culture, whatever. But that's normally given to children. 


    Lesley Logan 8:51  

    Right. 


    Tara Connaghan 8:52  

    It's very hard to give that to an adult who is your peer in terms of age, but not your peer in terms of skill, and that's a really difficult thing to do. So Irish people are very, very bad at giving feedback. They don't want to offend anybody, so we just say nothing, and then things can blister away and fester. 


    Lesley Logan 9:11  

    I wonder if anyone is good at giving feedback very often because we're not trained at that. You don't go to college and learn, "Okay, in your life, if you have to give feedback to someone, this is the way you give it." That's not anything anyone's trained in. So if your culture is more, "We're just not going to say anything at all," it's just going to fester and blister, and we'll just put you over there in the corner. Other people will just tell you what it is and honestly cramp someone's spirit. You could just step on a flower. So I think we all have to learn how to be better at feedback, but it's different when students are learning because when you're younger, yes, there are still personality types that are putting pressure on themselves to be perfect. No matter your age, there are different levels to learning. Correct? Because whether or not you are learning Irish music or anything, every learning has a level. 


    Tara Connaghan 10:02  

    I mean, there's the four stages of learning. So there's when you're totally unconsciously aware. You're completely unaware. So when you were maybe two, your mother tied your shoelaces. You didn't tie your shoes. You didn't even know that shoelaces existed. They're just not in your conscious realm at all. And then maybe as you get... maybe four or five, you're like, "Oh, hold on a second. My mother's tying my shoes. I want to try that." You start getting, "I want to try it." Then there's that stage where you're conscious of it, but you realize how bad you are at it. So your competency level is pretty poor. You're incompetent, but you're consciously incompetent, so you know you're shit at it. 


    Lesley Logan 10:45  

    That's so hard because it's so frustrating. 


    Tara Connaghan 10:48  

    So frustrating. You're like, "I can't..." Sorry, I don't know if I can curse. 


    Lesley Logan 10:52  

    You can curse on this show. Totally. 


    Tara Connaghan 10:56  

    So you're so frustrated, as you say, and so many people give up at that stage because they're like, "I can't do this. No, I'm out." That sounds like me with surfing or certain things. I'm just like, "No, I can't do this. I'm out." 


    Lesley Logan 11:10  

    I understand that. With ADHD, I can be okay being bad at something, but I have to get good at it quickly. Otherwise, I'm out. My attention span's not there. But it is interesting. We see that in people in all learning things, right? I teach people how to teach Pilates, and you can see even if they're already teaching Pilates, when they discover that there is stuff that they didn't know they didn't know, then there's a frustration that no one told them, "I didn't know this." But you can't be told, no one is expert at everything when they're new. You just start new. Okay, so then we're pissed off, we're frustrated, and if we don't quit, what happens next? 


    Tara Connaghan 11:52  

    So if we don't quit and we keep going, then we start getting to a place where we're more competent. We've got a bit more competency. There's a big range within that. You're starting to get competent, and then you grow up to being much more competent, and you're consciously aware that you're competent. So it's maybe when you're six or seven and you're still tying the shoelaces. You can tie them, but it takes a bit of... You're still focusing on it. That takes a huge amount of energy, so it's a very exhausting stage where you're focusing on, "I have to tie the shoe. I have to do this loop and that loop." And your fingers are just faltering at it. The same with playing an instrument. You're kind of like, "I have to watch my left finger..." 


    Lesley Logan 12:42  

    "...this thing, and then breathe, and then this one." You're still talking yourself through it. Yes.  


    Tara Connaghan 12:46  

    Or even driving. "I have to put my foot here, and I have to look at the clutch. I have to put on my seatbelt before all of that, and I have to look in the mirror." I have to do this. There's so many things. Your brain is still running through the process of how to do it. Then you get to the last stage, which is you're competent, but you're unconsciously competent. So it's totally, did you remember tying your shoelaces this morning? No. You just did it. It becomes ingrained so that you don't even know that you're doing it anymore, but you can do it. The same with playing the fiddle. I'm thinking of something else because it's unconscious. It's already in the muscle memory of my fingers. It's in the muscle memory of my brain, my elbows, my whole body. My body does it, and then I can focus on, not something else, but something like, the next level, which is, "How do I do it better? How do I do the intricacies?" You're listening and going, "Oh, such-and-such did that. I might do that." You're listening for something else. 


    Lesley Logan 13:54  

    Yeah, you can take more in. My husband's a musician. That's not me, but I can attribute it to things in my world. I retook a workshop I've taken from this person before, and I thought I was just going to sit there and get reminded of a few quotes I liked from them. Then they said something, and I was like, "What? What is that?" And it was just like, "Oh, I didn't know the thing before that. It wasn't ingrained in me, so I couldn't even pick up on this if I wanted to." It was always there, but I didn't have the capacity to hear it or see it or understand it because I just had to get the muscle memory there so that nuance could even stand out. 


    Tara Connaghan 14:35  

    And that takes years. We're in such a culture that everything is convenient. It's quick. Everything's fast. But I don't think there's anything that can replace just time of learning and putting the time in. 


    Lesley Logan 14:52  

    Tara, how do you help people do that, though? Because obviously what you do is so unique. But however you help them, we all have to understand that it does take time, and it's hard for adults because there's so much unconscious competence happening because we're in our life. We can drive home without even realizing it. There's just things that we do. It scares the fuck out of me every time. I'm like, "How did I get here? Whoa." How do you remind adults to be patient to go through the different stages? 


    Tara Connaghan 15:18  

    It's not easy. None of us like it for anything. I got a sewing machine. I am crap at sewing, because I never did it in school. I did woodwork instead. It just takes it. I just have to remind people it may only be five minutes per day, and then supplement it with a couple of maybe intense weekends or an intense week where you really focus on it, almost like 12-hour days. That really supplements it. But you need the five minutes per day, five to 10 minutes per day. I think, really helps people. 


    Lesley Logan 15:53  

    Okay, let's dive into that because I think people think, "Oh, I'll just do this on my day off." But if you just do several hours on one day, it's almost... Do you think it's better if they were to do five to 10 minutes per day for six to seven days is better than one day for two hours? 


    Tara Connaghan 16:10  

    Absolutely, 1,000%. 


    Lesley Logan 16:12  

    And why? Do we know why? 


    Tara Connaghan 16:15  

    There are actually studies that show that because you're building up the muscle memory. You don't build it up in one go. You build it up every day. You don't wash your teeth just once a week. 


    Lesley Logan 16:27  

    Right. Right. 


    Tara Connaghan 16:28  

    You wash them every day because if


    Lesley Logan 16:30  

    You washed your teeth for two hours once a week, it wouldn't even make up for it. Even though it's like three times the amount you should brush your teeth, it doesn't even make the difference. 


    Tara Connaghan 16:38  

    No, it's not going to make the difference because the plaque is already there. It would be too hard to remove it. That's just what it is. And five to 10 minutes, that's nothing. 


    Lesley Logan 16:47  

    Right. I think that's the hard part because people go, "That's nothing. So does it even matter?" 


    Tara Connaghan 16:53  

    Yeah. So, tomorrow... I'm learning the concertina as well. I do play the fiddle. I've played the fiddle for almost 40 years, but I have a concertina, which is this little kind of hexagon-shaped instrument. I normally have it at my desk, but I'm not at my desk. I'm actually in New York. 


    Lesley Logan 17:10  

    Cool. What's a concertina? I gotta look this up. I need a visual. 


    Lesley Logan 17:14  

    Concertina. 


    Lesley Logan 17:16  

    Concertina.  


    Tara Connaghan 17:17  

    Yeah, so, hexagon-shaped. 


    Lesley Logan 17:21  

    This is... Oh, that's cool. For everyone who's not Googling this while they're driving, please don't. First of all, they're not cheap. It's like an accordion, but a hexagon has six or seven sides. 


    Tara Connaghan 17:40  

    Your fingers are working from both sides. 


    Lesley Logan 17:43  

    Yes. 


    Tara Connaghan 17:44  

    Yes. So it's very petite and dainty. It's a real kind of woman's... 


    Lesley Logan 17:50  

    It's so beautiful. An accordion is not sexy. Nothing's sexy about an accordion. This is quite cute. This looks like the Victorian era. 


    Tara Connaghan 17:56  

    Yes. It's very ornate, and designs in it. So I'm learning that now. I had it right beside my computer because you're, especially if you're doing something, and then you need kind of like coffee beans to refresh your brain. So I used to have that, and I'd play for five or 10 minutes. I didn't have access to my concertina for about 15 years because I had lent it to somebody else, and they forgot to give it back to me. Eventually I got it back recently, and I started playing for about five minutes whenever I got bored, well, not bored, but my brain is overworked and overwhelmed and I needed to deep-dive into it for five minutes. The first day I was like, "Oh my god, I can't even remember where the notes are." I was like one-finger typing. 


    Lesley Logan 18:45  

    I understand. Yeah. 


    Tara Connaghan 18:47  

    Until, after a couple of weeks, he came down to the office and said, "That actually sounded quite good." 


    Lesley Logan 18:55  

    Because it came back to you because you just had it. I love what you said, that you had it right next to you. For anything we're wanting to do, my listeners know I was studying the tarot, and unfortunately it got away from me because I had the app, which is great because when I was traveling I couldn't have the cards, but I'm a physical kind of person. So when I was at home, having the cards and the book at my desk, while I'm waiting for the Zoom call to start, I could just read a page. Having those little doses of information actually allows you to take it in. Whereas it's a lot, especially when you're in the incompetence, it's a lot in the brain to do it and you don't retain as much. I'm studying the science of learning right now, I'm really interested in this, and there's a whole lot we have to do self-reflection and self-quizzing. That's actually the best when you're learning anything. You're not waiting for the test to come where you cram, or in music, I guess, the concert to come where you perform. You have to kind of test your skills on your own and then learn from what you don't know. 


    Tara Connaghan 0:00  

    Yeah, and I think for joining a session as well, you have to learn to play with other people, and that can be a big learning curve as well, because it might be that you've just started an instrument, so this is totally new. You've got a new instrument. Oh my god. I'm still trying to figure out where the notes are. I'm still trying to figure all this out. You're still kind of incompetent. And you need to learn also how to play with other people if you want to join a session. 


    Lesley Logan 20:26  

    Yeah. 


    Tara Connaghan 20:27  

    I think those kinds of camps are a great place to do that. They can be big sessions, so you can kind of hide behind people for a while until you get a bit more competency in playing with others because it's a really different skill, being able to listen to yourself while listening to others.


    Lesley Logan 20:45  

    How do you, how do you get the... Because that's a bit of courage and bravery, to go from playing by yourself in your home to, okay, I'm going to take this. What advice do you have for people who... There's embarrassment, there's nervousness. How do you get over yourself enough to go? Because I'm someone who'd be a fly on the wall until I'm shoved off the cliff. That's kind of me. But how do you get yourself ready?


    Tara Connaghan 21:06  

    I think it's a good idea, if you're learning from a class situation where you've got classmates, then maybe your teacher might have a once-a-year or once-a-month or once-a-week session where they encourage you to come, if you want to join a session. It's a very gentle process where you're coming into it in a very gentle way. What I would definitely not recommend you do is go into a session where there are high-level musicians who need something totally different. So if you're a beginner musician, you want to be feeling kind of a belonging. You want to sense this sense of community. A high-level musician who's been playing for 40 years, they already have that. What they want is challenge, and you're not going to challenge them if you're a newcomer. So don't be afraid, or don't be... not afraid, but don't be putting yourself in that position. Don't take it personally, I think is what I'm trying to say.


    Lesley Logan 22:01  

    Well, this makes a lot of sense to me because in life, if you have a skill or there's something you're doing, it's really good to have people who are your equals, so your classmates, like you mentioned. And then there's the people who are below you, in a different level. Playing with people below you builds your confidence because, whoa, I'm not like that anymore, right?


    Tara Connaghan 22:19  

    Yes.


    Lesley Logan 22:20  

    Playing with people who are at the same level as you makes you feel comfortable and, okay, I've got my people. But typically, if you're going to play with people who are above you, you'd be paying to play with them. You're in their workshop or you're in their thing because they need people above them to challenge them and people like them who understand what they need. And if they're going to have people below them, it's because they're teaching them.


    Tara Connaghan 22:43  

    Exactly. And I think it's funny that you should pick that up so quickly because that seems to be something that we've... I suppose we're so close to it, you can't see the wood from the trees when you're so in the middle of it. And so it's only recently that I figured, from conversations actually, that's more of a teaching environment when we're in a session with people that are below us. And that's a very different thing. That's quite draining because you're giving a lot of energy, and you're not.


    Lesley Logan 23:10  

    Getting yourself filled up. There have to be sessions for the person who's more of the expert to be filled up. I get that totally. I teach a lot of students, and I have no problems doing that. But when I am in the workshop to learn, if people bother me to understand, I'm like, "Oh, I'm not in that brain. I'm here." So I find I'm very particular about the places I go to learn in or be challenged in because I want to stay in that frame. And if you are wanting me to teach you in that space, I'm a little bit... Okay, I've got to get my cup filled.


    Tara Connaghan 23:45  

    I suppose I would love to be able to say that certain things in certain situations... I think we are quite welcoming.


    Lesley Logan 23:54  

    Yeah, and that's the hard part because I don't want to stamp on anyone's flowers or anyone's willingness to learn. And I also think they don't understand what they don't... You know what I mean? They don't know that they're just asking a question. And you are an expert, and you are someone who usually teaches. But there has to be a space where you can go be yourself and be challenged.


    Tara Connaghan 24:13  

    Yeah, yeah. I think so. I have found that some people like to shame skilled musicians for having that, and I'm trying to call that out and go, "No, I'm not happy that that is something that should be definitely there."


    Lesley Logan 24:26  

    I think that's interesting, right? What an awareness we can have because it's fine to have the need to have the space to be in your creative space or to not be in teaching mode, to be in play mode or creativity mode. And also, how do we remind people of the rules of the space without hurting their feelings or pissing them off or making them feel like they're stupid? I don't know if you have those in Ireland, but people have these signs in their house, like, "In this house, we believe in science," and things like that. There, we believe in these... When you walk into the space, if these-level musicians are playing, you're free to watch, but please write down all questions and save them for your... You know what I mean? It's okay to be in their presence, of course, and be inspired. But this is when you're allowed to ask the questions. I guess it goes back to the etiquette. It's like having rules for... If you're a house that has no shoes on or shoes off, it's kind of like that.


    Tara Connaghan 25:25  

    Yeah. I suppose it's always being one of those environments that is very spontaneous. So I think when you have a spontaneous environment, the thought of rules makes it really kind of...


    Lesley Logan 25:38  

    I understand. Yeah. Well, Tanya Dalton, we had her on the show, and she talked about when there are boundaries, everyone can be more creative and have more fun.


    Tara Connaghan 25:50  

    Yes.


    Lesley Logan 25:51  

    She explained it, and you guys, I'll put the link in the show notes because I actually don't remember which episode number she is. But she said if there's a school playground and there's no fence, and the teachers tell the kids, "Hey, stay close to the school building to play," you're going to have some kids who literally don't leave the wall. They just play next to the wall. You're going to have some kids who play in the middle, and then you're going to have some kids who are going all the way to the edge because they want to see how far they can go. But if you put the fence up and you say you just have to stay in the fence, then all of a sudden everyone can play. So I guess it's interesting because some people don't want to have rules on things to affect the creativity, but they'll have more creativity if they just have some set rules.


    Tara Connaghan 26:35  

    Yeah, and I think everybody feels safer as well then if there are some sort of boundaries. Especially newcomers can feel safe because they know, "Right, well, this is maybe not the session for me," or "This one is the session for me."


    Lesley Logan 26:47  

    Yeah, because I'm the girl who'd be next to the wall because I don't understand. I don't want to fuck it up, and I don't want to embarrass myself, and I don't want to make someone mad. So I would be the person who doesn't even join any session, even the ones at my level, because I wouldn't... So I think that's where it's important. No matter what the thing is that we're joining or learning, we have to understand the etiquette, but also the people above us have to define that so that we can.


    Tara Connaghan 27:11  

    Yeah, yeah, I guess. 


    Lesley Logan 27:12  

    Or at least the host of the place. 


    Tara Connaghan 27:15  

    Yeah, yeah, yeah.


    Lesley Logan 27:17  

    So Tara, your enthusiasm and joy for what you do is so contagious. I really do love it. How did you get to keep your passion for this? Because I have to imagine that in the 40 years of playing music, Irish music hasn't been famous for all 40 years. How did you keep it going? What did you do? Then you're in this new space where you have this podcast. I guess people listening to this have been doing things for 20 or 30 years, and sometimes they wonder if they should keep doing that. Is it worth doing? How do they know when to stop? What advice do you have for that?


    Tara Connaghan 27:55  

    I did have a time in my early 30s, which is almost 20 years ago. god, sorry.


    Lesley Logan 28:03  

    It's all right. I just looked at pictures of myself at 25, and I was like, "Whoa, that was a long time ago."


    Tara Connaghan 28:09  

    When I arrived in New York a couple of days ago, I had a suitcase, and I was trying to walk up the stairs, carry it up the stairs. And this young fella, I think he was probably about 25 or something, said, "Do you want me to help?" And I was like, "No, no, I've got a friend coming. She's going to help me as well." And he said, "Oh, if this was my mother, I would hope somebody would help me." And I was like, "Oh my god!"


    Lesley Logan 28:27  

    He was being so sweet, and also...


    Tara Connaghan 28:32  

    The realization. But of course I could be his mother. But I don't even have kids.


    Lesley Logan 28:36  

    Tara, I understand. I have friends my age who have kids who are in high school, so I was like, "I could have a high schooler." 


    Tara Connaghan 28:44  

    Yeah, I could totally have somebody who's gone through college, finished college. Anyway, let's not go there. So in my 30s, I did have a bit of a, wow, I thought I would be somewhere different. I thought things would feel different. There was that kind of realization: Is this it? There was always this kind of, I thought it was going to be different, and I thought it was going to be amazing. I went through maybe not a spiral downwards, but I was just lost for a while. And then, it was kind of a spiral to a couple of things. I had somebody who was really, really close to me pass away, and that person held my future dreams. So that totally took the carpet from underneath me. I was like, "Well, what do I do now?" It was totally the end now. And I think when you get to rock bottom, you go, "What are the things that are actually really important?" That's what I had to do. I just had to go food, water... I mean, we're talking basic. I think I had probably experienced a bit of PTSD at the time, post-traumatic stress disorder, because I couldn't plan ahead. All I could think of was the next hour and what are the basic needs that I need. So food, water, shelter, friendship. And I thought, "You know what? Music is what fills my cup." And so I had to figure out what was the thing that fills my cup? I have loads of interests. What was the one thing that I really wanted? And I think when you get to rock bottom, things become so clear. I'm not advocating for getting to rock bottom, but if you want clarity, you will find it down there.


    Lesley Logan 30:37  

    I think years ago I heard someone say you can't take someone's rock bottom away. You can give advice, but also, sometimes we don't learn what we need to until we are there. Some of us just need to clear everything away. I have to say, I am so grateful for the rock bottom I had because it was, "Okay, I've got nothing. So if I'm going to add to this nothing, it better be something I want." I don't want to add. It was the first time I had a clean slate. I don't want to add stuff I don't want. So I agree with you.


    Tara Connaghan 31:11  

    Declutter.


    Lesley Logan 31:12  

    Yeah.


    Tara Connaghan 31:13  

    It really declutters the mind, and it really focuses on just the important things. Music was the thing that, it's almost like the light at the end of the tunnel, but it was just something that I had that was present, that was just filling my cup, as you said. So I kept doing that. Not that I was doing it all the time, but when I needed that sort of, because I went home to my parents' house, and I slept for about six months. I didn't go outside the door. I remember having relations saying, "Oh, you can't do that." And I was like, "Please don't ever tell anybody that they can't take the time that they need to recover because I needed that time." It took a good few years, but I needed the six months of complete and utter sleep. Then it took another couple of years before I was able to get back to being a normal person again. I'd say I'm a huge amount stronger because of it, and just more clear. So.


    Lesley Logan 32:12  

    Yeah.


    Tara Connaghan 32:12  

    Music is just... yeah. And I think every time I'm in a session, the other thing is if I'm playing for money, it's a job.


    Lesley Logan 32:20  

    Yeah.


    Tara Connaghan 32:22  

    So I kind of removed that. Even though I still get paid, I removed the, "Oh, this one is a gig." It's, "I'm going to go and I'm going to play music. Fantastic. If somebody gives me money at the end, great." Sometimes I want to make sure that it's good money at the end, but I looked at it differently. It wasn't for the money. It was for the music, and then somebody gives me money as well, and that's great.


    Lesley Logan 32:46  

    I appreciate you sharing that journey because I think we all look at other people and go, "Oh my goodness, they must have loved this their whole life," and not realize that there are parts of their lives where they loved it, but they didn't get up for six months. Everyone is on an up-and-down journey that hopefully always ends up, but it's going to have its own nuances. And if we don't take the time we need to find what fills our cup, then I don't know that we get to enjoy it. I feel like life is worth enjoying. Yes, sometimes we get paid for things we love, but also we should do things because we love them.


    Tara Connaghan 33:26  

    Yeah, totally. So I think that was how I got out of that sort of, "I'm doing it for the money." I don't know if you've ever read Big Magic.


    Lesley Logan 33:37  

    Obsessed. Great book.


    Tara Connaghan 33:39  

    Fantastic.


    Lesley Logan 33:39  

    I'm not sure I agree with her in the more recent years of life, but I love that book. So, everyone must, required reading. So good. Required reading.


    Tara Connaghan 33:51  

    Yeah. It just gives so much freedom to your creativity as well. It's like, "Oh yeah, that's so cool." It's like it's a muse. You're the host of a creative idea, and you entertain it, or eventually it'll just go, "Look, I'm an idea, and I need to be created. So if you're not going to create me, somebody else will have to do it." Such a great idea.


    Lesley Logan 34:14  

    You guys, if you're wondering what is she saying, you have to go read the book. It's, ideas want to be born, it's Elizabeth Guilbert, I believe that's her name. She wrote Eat, Pray, Love, and she even shares that she still worked as a professor even after she wrote that book, even after it was a bestseller, even after it became a movie. It was years before she thought, "Okay, I can just be a writer for a living." I think that's a really important lesson for all of us who are doing something we're passionate about because the pressure you put on it changes the joy you get out of it, and also what you create.


    Tara Connaghan 34:50  

    Yeah. It's too intimate to be putting pressure on it because I did lose it. So I put my hands on my heart because I feel like it's here. The music, when I play it, it's here. I suppose maybe because it is a fiddle as well, or a violin, but it's here anyway. It's something so close, and I have lost it. I did lose it for a while, and if I lost it again, I don't know if I could survive that second loss.


    Lesley Logan 35:17  

    Yeah. Thanks for sharing that. I think that's really important. Tara, you're so fun. We're going to take a brief break and find out where people can find you, follow you, take sessions with you.


    Tara Connaghan 35:26  

    Yeah.


    Lesley Logan 35:28  

    All right, Tara. Where do you hang out? They can listen to your podcast. Can anyone play Irish music? Tell us everything.


    Tara Connaghan 35:36  

    They can listen to it on Spotify, Amazon, Apple, wherever. It's called In Tune with Tradition. There's also the subtitle, Perspectives on Session Etiquette and Irish Traditional Music. There is a website called Session Etiquette. I also have a tour kind of thing coming up, a private session experience in September 2026, at the end of September. We've got a couple of places left on it. It will be in Ireland. Brilliant. I can't wait.


    Lesley Logan 36:07  

    I feel like September in Ireland is probably good weather. 


    Tara Connaghan 36:10  

    Sometimes. Actually, do you know when it's been really good weather? It's April. April for the last three or four years has been really good, really dry, sunny. Then the rest of summer's awful, and around September sometimes it can pick up again.


    Lesley Logan 36:23  

    Feels like Vegas weather, but probably different. April is so beautiful here. Don't take me away, but the summer? Get me out.


    Tara Connaghan 36:32  

    I'm in New York, and it was really, really hot for the last couple of days. Today is nice. It's just perfect.


    Lesley Logan 36:38  

    Yeah. That's an interesting place to be when it's too hot. Okay, we've talked a lot about learning and things like that. You've given us so much already, but what bold, executable, intrinsic, or targeted steps do you have for people to be it till they see it?


    Tara Connaghan 36:52  

    I think they should listen to my podcast, number one. The reason I'm in New York is because it's an award-winning podcast. It has just won some awards.


    Lesley Logan 37:01  

    Get out. Congratulations. That's amazing!


    Tara Connaghan 37:06  

    Yay! So, anyway, but more actionable steps: I think life is short. Just pick the thing that fills your cup and go for it.


    Lesley Logan 37:15  

    Yeah.


    Tara Connaghan 37:16  

    If that's Irish music, fantastic. If it's not, do the thing that makes you really, really just gives you so much joy and fills your cup because otherwise you'll always be trying to fill your cup with something that can't fill, can't do it.


    Lesley Logan 37:31  

    I agree. I think that's so true. Oh my gosh, congratulations on your podcast. That's incredible, you guys. That's not an easy thing to do, especially with a new podcast, so way to go, Tara. I agree. I was just watching a show, and it's clear there are people on the show who don't have anything else. They don't have something that fills their cup. My husband's listening to somebody, and they're... If you don't have something that's a hobby, something that's creative, friends and family, and work that gives you purpose, if you don't have those three things, f you take one of those away, you put too much pressure on the other things, and they're never going to give you the tripod. You're going to fall over. So I feel like that's really important for today. I think we all need that information. 


    Lesley Logan 38:15  

    You guys, go listen to Tara's award-winning podcast. Go listen to it, and go figure out if it's... If you don't know what's filling your cup, maybe it's time to start trying new things and be consciously incompetent for a little bit. It'll get better. Share this with a friend who needs to hear it. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. 


    Lesley Logan 38:33  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


    Brad Crowell 39:16  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 39:21  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


    Brad Crowell 39:25  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


    Lesley Logan 39:32  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


    Brad Crowell 39:36  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time. 



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    39m - Aug 18, 2026
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