What do you ACTUALLY want?

What if some of the goals you’re working so hard to achieve aren’t actually things you want? In this episode, we’re getting to the bottom of what you actually want, why it can be so hard to figure that out when you’ve spent years optimizing for achievement and being impressive, and how my life changed when I stopped doing that.

In this episode we discuss:

• Why nothing could just be a hobby for me and everything had to become a business, side hustle, or something I could excel at.
• Being afraid that dismantling my externally validated identity would make me lose my ambition and drive (and what actually happened when I did).
• The real reason we set impressive goals we don't really care about.
• What I learned after realizing that achieving my goals were not going to give me the "feeling" I thought they'd bring.
• The "arrival fallacy" and why achieving your goals don't always give you what you thought it would or feel how you thought it would feel.
• How I realized I was optimizing for vanity metrics instead of what actually mattered to me.
• What happened when I stopped creating content based on what I thought would perform and started creating based on what I genuinely wanted to say.
• Why my Substack took off when I stopped trying so hard to make it work.
• The real reason behind some of the lofty goals I had.
• The difference between being ambitious and feeling like you have to be exceptional at everything.
• How to completely change the way you set goals so they're aligned with what you actual want.
• What happens when you try to chase the goals you *think* you want with your old identity.
• How to start using your ambition to build what you actually want instead of using it to prove something about yourself.
• Goal + vision board audit exercise & why it's important to do this EVERY TIME you set a goal.

Mentioned in this episode:

• The Diary of a High Achiever
• Secluded Thoughts Substack

Homework:

• Goal + vision board audit exercise + leave a comment on the Substack post for this episode and tell me what you discovered.

Sponsors:

Become You 2.0 helps you dismantle the conditioning behind the externally validated identity that makes you feel like everything has to be optimized, impressive, and validated by something outside of you. It teaches you how to stop letting that identity dictate your decisions so you can use your ambition to build the life you actually want. Enroll Here.

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