Every couple has a story: the sparks, the late-night talks, the fights about nothing, and the moments that change everything. So why do some relationships thrive while others fall apart? The answer isn’t luck; it’s psychology. Join Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu, hosts of the hit podcast Dateable and authors of the book &#39;How to Be Dateable,&#39; as they navigate this next phase of long-term committed relationships. Together with leading experts in the field, they&#39;ll explore what science really tells us about love, conflict, and connection — and translate it into tools you can actually use.

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/9/10/0/bb205f06-7c13-4718-a686-0e08e4e9e921_uild_a_partnership_that_actually_works_for_you.mp3

What if the healthiest relationship isn’t the one that follows the traditional blueprint—but the one that actually fits the people in it? Julie &amp; Yue are joined by relationship coach and educator Ellecia Paine to explore how inherited expectations can shape the way we think relationships are “supposed” to look. Together, they unpack how to question those assumptions, communicate what you genuinely want, and intentionally create a partnership that allows both people to feel fulfilled rather than simply successful on paper.In this episode, you’ll learn:<ul><li>How inherited expectations shape our relationships</li><li>Why wanting something different doesn’t mean you’re asking too much</li><li>How to identify the relationship “shoulds” you’ve internalized</li><li>Why there’s no single blueprint for a healthy partnership</li><li>How to intentionally create a relationship where both people can thrive</li></ul> To learn more about Ellecia Paine, follow her @elleciapaine and visit www.elleciapaine.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a> Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

What if the healthiest relationship isn’t the one that follows the traditional blueprint—but the one that actually fits the people in it? Julie &amp; Yue are joined by relationship coach and educator Ellecia Paine to explore how inherited expectations can shape the way we think relationships are “supposed” to look. Together, they unpack how to question those assumptions, communicate what you genuinely want, and intentionally create a partnership that allows both people to feel fulfilled rather than simply successful on paper.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
-How inherited expectations shape our relationships
-Why wanting something different doesn’t mean you’re asking too much
-How to identify the relationship “shoulds” you’ve internalized
-Why there’s no single blueprint for a healthy partnership
-How to intentionally create a relationship where both people can thrive

To learn more about Ellecia Paine, follow her @elleciapaine and visit www.elleciapaine.com

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show!
* Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por 

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Designing Your Relationship: How to Build a Partnership That Actually Works for You w/ Ellecia Paine

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/9/9/23/bc00f8b9-c932-4f11-b34e-e4cc295be096__waiting_for_a_relationship_to_start_your_life.mp3

Being single can easily feel like something we’re supposed to endure until we find someone—but what if it’s actually an opportunity to build a life you genuinely love? Julie &amp; Yue are joined by John Kim, licensed therapist and author of Single On Purpose, to explore what happens when we stop treating partnership as the finish line. From rebuilding your relationship with yourself to “masturdating,” John offers a different way to think about singlehood, self-growth, and ultimately partnership.In this episode, you’ll learn:<ul><li>Why being single doesn’t have to mean being lonely</li><li>How to build a fulfilling life outside of partnership</li><li>Why we sometimes stop growing once we enter relationships</li><li>What “masturdating” can teach you about yourself</li><li>How a stronger relationship with yourself changes your relationships with others</li></ul> To learn more about John Kim, follow him @theangrytherapist and visit <a href="http://www.theangrytherapist.com" rel="nofollow">www.theangrytherapist.com</a>. Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a> Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

Being single can easily feel like something we’re supposed to endure until we find someone—but what if it’s actually an opportunity to build a life you genuinely love? Julie &amp; Yue are joined by John Kim, licensed therapist and author of Single On Purpose, to explore what happens when we stop treating partnership as the finish line. From rebuilding your relationship with yourself to “masturdating,” John offers a different way to think about singlehood, self-growth, and ultimately partnership.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
-Why being single doesn’t have to mean being lonely
-How to build a fulfilling life outside of partnership
-Why we sometimes stop growing once we enter relationships
-What “masturdating” can teach you about yourself
-How a stronger relationship with yourself changes your relationships with others

To learn more about John Kim, follow him @theangrytherapist and visit www.theangrytherapist.com.

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show!
* Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por 

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Single on Purpose: How to Stop Waiting for a Relationship to Start Your Life w/ John Kim

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/9/9/18/510c197d-0c6b-4c4f-875a-d0852cd25100__how_intimacy_can_strengthen_your_relationship.mp3

A fulfilling sex life isn’t just about chemistry or technique—it’s about feeling comfortable enough to communicate, explore, and be vulnerable with each other. Julie &amp; Yue are joined by licensed psychotherapist and sex therapist Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First, to explore how couples can use sex as an opportunity for deeper connection. From becoming more “cliterate” to expanding our understanding of pleasure beyond intercourse, Ian offers a practical look at creating more satisfying and connected intimacy.In this episode, you’ll learn:<ul><li>Why communication is essential to a satisfying sex life</li><li>What it means to become more “cliterate”</li><li>Why pleasure goes far beyond intercourse</li><li>How couples can explore intimacy without pressure</li><li>How sexual connection can strengthen emotional intimacy</li></ul> To learn more about Ian Kerner, visit www.iankerner.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a> Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

A fulfilling sex life isn’t just about chemistry or technique—it’s about feeling comfortable enough to communicate, explore, and be vulnerable with each other. Julie &amp; Yue are joined by licensed psychotherapist and sex therapist Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First, to explore how couples can use sex as an opportunity for deeper connection. From becoming more “cliterate” to expanding our understanding of pleasure beyond intercourse, Ian offers a practical look at creating more satisfying and connected intimacy.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
-Why communication is essential to a satisfying sex life
-What it means to become more “cliterate”
-Why pleasure goes far beyond intercourse
-How couples can explore intimacy without pressure
-How sexual connection can strengthen emotional intimacy

To learn more about Ian Kerner, visit www.iankerner.com

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show!
* Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por 

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

The Psychology of Better Sex: How Intimacy Can Strengthen Your Relationship w/ Dr. Ian Kerner

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/9/9/18/a908f96f-1c65-48f6-bbbf-136172e6aaf8_ing_relationships__and_how_to_break_the_cycle_.mp3

When does wanting love become needing it? For some people, relationships can become a source of obsession, validation, and emotional dependence—making it difficult to feel secure without another person. Julie &amp; Yue are joined by Sherry Gaba, LCSW, psychotherapist and relationship addiction expert, to unpack the psychology behind love addiction and the patterns that can keep people chasing connection at the expense of themselves.In this episode, you’ll learn:<ul><li>How to recognize the difference between love and love addiction</li><li>Why some people become dependent on romantic validation</li><li>How low self-worth can fuel unhealthy relationship patterns</li><li>Why being alone can feel so uncomfortable</li><li>How to rebuild self-trust and a sense of wholeness</li></ul> To learn more about Sherry Gaba, follow her @codependencycurious and visit <a href="http://www.sherrygaba.com" rel="nofollow">www.sherrygaba.com</a> Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a> Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

When does wanting love become needing it? For some people, relationships can become a source of obsession, validation, and emotional dependence—making it difficult to feel secure without another person. Julie &amp; Yue are joined by Sherry Gaba, LCSW, psychotherapist and relationship addiction expert, to unpack the psychology behind love addiction and the patterns that can keep people chasing connection at the expense of themselves.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
- How to recognize the difference between love and love addiction
-Why some people become dependent on romantic validation
-How low self-worth can fuel unhealthy relationship patterns
-Why being alone can feel so uncomfortable
-How to rebuild self-trust and a sense of wholeness

To learn more about Sherry Gaba, follow her @codependencycurious and visit www.sherrygaba.com

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show!
* Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por 

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Love Addiction: Why You Can’t Stop Chasing Relationships (And How to Break the Cycle) w/ Sherry Gaba

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/9/9/17/0a1d25fb-da33-4aa3-8e1e-536de819f53a_reatest_gifts_can_transform_your_relationships.mp3

What if the parts of yourself you’ve spent years trying to fix are actually connected to your greatest strengths? Julie &amp; Yue are joined by psychotherapist and Deeper Dating author Ken Page to explore how our perceived flaws can point toward the qualities that make us most authentic, passionate, and alive. Rather than trying to become more lovable, we explore what happens when we recognize our core gifts, embrace the parts of ourselves we’ve learned to hide, and choose relationships where those qualities can truly be appreciated.In this episode, you’ll learn:<ul><li>How your perceived flaws can reveal your greatest gifts</li><li>Why trying to become more lovable can backfire</li><li>How to recognize the qualities that make you uniquely you</li><li>Why authenticity can lead to stronger relationships</li><li>How to find connections where your gifts are genuinely valued</li></ul>To learn more about Ken Page, follow him @deeper.dating and visit www.deeperdating.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a> Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

What if the parts of yourself you’ve spent years trying to fix are actually connected to your greatest strengths? Julie &amp; Yue are joined by psychotherapist and Deeper Dating author Ken Page to explore how our perceived flaws can point toward the qualities that make us most authentic, passionate, and alive. Rather than trying to become more lovable, we explore what happens when we recognize our core gifts, embrace the parts of ourselves we’ve learned to hide, and choose relationships where those qualities can truly be appreciated.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
- How your perceived flaws can reveal your greatest gifts
- Why trying to become more lovable can backfire
- How to recognize the qualities that make you uniquely you
- Why authenticity can lead to stronger relationships
- How to find connections where your gifts are genuinely valued

To learn more about Ken Page, follow him @deeper.dating and visit www.deeperdating.com

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show!
* Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por 

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Stop Trying to Be More Lovable: How Your Greatest Gifts Can Transform Your Relationships w/ Ken Page

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/8/26/17/ed6ba32a-e541-41f3-9fdd-a8288dc97f3e_artnership_should_be_a_choice__not_a_necessity.mp3

We’re often taught that being in a relationship is the goal—but what if partnership isn’t something we need in order to have a fulfilling life? Julie &amp; Yue are joined by Simone Milasas and Brendon Watt, co-authors of Relationship.: Are You Sure You Want One?, to challenge the idea that being partnered is inherently better than being single. After consciously uncoupling from their own long-term relationship, they share what they learned about choosing partnership, creating a meaningful life independently, and redefining what a successful relationship can look like.In this episode, you’ll learn:<ul><li>Why we’re so conditioned to believe we need a relationship</li><li>How to tell the difference between wanting a partner and needing one</li><li>Why a fulfilling life doesn’t have to revolve around romantic partnership</li><li>What makes a relationship genuinely enhance your life</li><li>How to choose relationships from desire and intention rather than fear or expectation</li></ul> To learn more about Simone Milasas and Brendon Watt, visit www.relationshipsdonedifferent.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a> Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

We’re often taught that being in a relationship is the goal—but what if partnership isn’t something we need in order to have a fulfilling life? Julie &amp; Yue are joined by Simone Milasas and Brendon Watt, co-authors of Relationship.: Are You Sure You Want One?, to challenge the idea that being partnered is inherently better than being single. After consciously uncoupling from their own long-term relationship, they share what they learned about choosing partnership, creating a meaningful life independently, and redefining what a successful relationship can look like.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
-Why we’re so conditioned to believe we need a relationship
-How to tell the difference between wanting a partner and needing one
-Why a fulfilling life doesn’t have to revolve around romantic partnership
-What makes a relationship genuinely enhance your life
-How to choose relationships from desire and intention rather than fear or expectation

To learn more about Simone Milasas and Brendon Watt, visit www.relationshipsdonedifferent.com

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show!
* Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por 

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Relationship, Are You Sure You Want One?: Why Partnership Should Be a Choice, Not a Necessity w/ Simone  Milasas and Brendon Watt

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/8/26/16/94cc90fc-5e60-4d36-b5b5-ae3aee025c5d_es_-_why_you_re_not_just_anxious_or_avoidant.mp3

Attachment styles have become one of the most popular ways to understand relationships—but they’re often reduced to a few labels on social media. Julie &amp; Yue are joined by licensed marriage and family therapist Lauren Korshak to take a closer look at what attachment theory actually tells us about love, closeness, and security. Rather than treating attachment as a fixed identity, we explore how our patterns develop, why insecurity can show up even in secure relationships, and how awareness can help us create more compassionate and connected partnerships.In this episode, you’ll learn:<ul><li>What attachment theory actually tells us about relationships</li><li>How anxious and avoidant patterns develop</li><li>Why even securely attached people can feel insecure</li><li>How attachment patterns can change over time</li><li>How to use attachment as a tool rather than a label</li></ul> To learn more about Lauren Korshak, visit https://www.lovewellsf.com/ Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a> Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

Attachment styles have become one of the most popular ways to understand relationships—but they’re often reduced to a few labels on social media. Julie &amp; Yue are joined by licensed marriage and family therapist Lauren Korshak to take a closer look at what attachment theory actually tells us about love, closeness, and security. Rather than treating attachment as a fixed identity, we explore how our patterns develop, why insecurity can show up even in secure relationships, and how awareness can help us create more compassionate and connected partnerships.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
-What attachment theory actually tells us about relationships
How anxious and avoidant patterns develop
-Why even securely attached people can feel insecure
-How attachment patterns can change over time
-How to use attachment as a tool rather than a label

To learn more about Lauren Korshak, visit https://www.lovewellsf.com/

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show!
* Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por 

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

The Truth About Attachment Styles: Why You’re Not Just Anxious or Avoidant w/ Lauren Korshak

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/8/26/15/28a5c897-3237-41a0-93b8-de1c4e18ba10_nancial_compatibility_really_means_for_couples.mp3

Money can create some of the biggest tensions in a relationship—but the conflict usually isn’t just about money. It’s about what money represents: security, freedom, control, priorities, and the future you want to build together. Julie &amp; Yue are joined by Joe Gavazza of Gavazza Wealth Management to explore what financial compatibility really looks like and how couples can talk about spending, saving, debt, and long-term goals before they become sources of conflict.In this episode, you’ll learn:<ul><li>What financial compatibility actually means beyond income</li><li>How your money mindset can shape your relationship</li><li>How to talk about spending, saving, and debt</li><li>Why financial transparency can strengthen trust</li><li>How couples can create greater alignment around their future</li></ul> To learn more about Joe Gavazza, visit <a href="http://www.gavazza.com" rel="nofollow">www.gavazza.com</a>. Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a> Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

Money can create some of the biggest tensions in a relationship—but the conflict usually isn’t just about money. It’s about what money represents: security, freedom, control, priorities, and the future you want to build together. Julie &amp; Yue are joined by Joe Gavazza of Gavazza Wealth Management to explore what financial compatibility really looks like and how couples can talk about spending, saving, debt, and long-term goals before they become sources of conflict.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
- What financial compatibility actually means beyond income
- How your money mindset can shape your relationship
- How to talk about spending, saving, and debt
- Why financial transparency can strengthen trust
- How couples can create greater alignment around their future


To learn more about Joe Gavazza, visit www.gavazza.com.

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show!
* Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por 

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Money & Relationships: What Financial Compatibility Really Means for Couples w/ Joe Gavazza

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/8/25/22/f08b32a6-c1ed-4e14-8f9a-1d552fd406d6_e_-_why_we_push_away_the_love_we_actually_want.mp3

Sometimes the things we do to protect ourselves from getting hurt are the very things that create distance in our relationships. Julie &amp; Yue are joined by psychologist and relationship researcher Dr. Raquel Peel to explore why we sometimes sabotage healthy relationships, from pulling away when things get serious to criticizing, becoming defensive, or shutting down when we feel vulnerable. Together, they unpack the Four Horsemen and how greater self-awareness can help us respond differently before protective patterns become relationship-ending habits.In this episode, you’ll learn:<ul><li>Why we sometimes sabotage relationships that are actually healthy</li><li>How fear and self-protection can create relationship problems</li><li>What the Four Horsemen reveal about relationship conflict</li><li>How to recognize your own self-sabotaging patterns</li><li>Ways to respond with more vulnerability and intention</li></ul> To learn more about Dr. Raquel Peel, visit https://www.raquelpeel.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a> Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

Sometimes the things we do to protect ourselves from getting hurt are the very things that create distance in our relationships. Julie &amp; Yue are joined by psychologist and relationship researcher Dr. Raquel Peel to explore why we sometimes sabotage healthy relationships, from pulling away when things get serious to criticizing, becoming defensive, or shutting down when we feel vulnerable. Together, they unpack the Four Horsemen and how greater self-awareness can help us respond differently before protective patterns become relationship-ending habits.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Why we sometimes sabotage relationships that are actually healthy
- How fear and self-protection can create relationship problems
- What the Four Horsemen reveal about relationship conflict
- How to recognize your own self-sabotaging patterns
- Ways to respond with more vulnerability and intention

To learn more about Dr. Raquel Peel, visit https://www.raquelpeel.com

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show!
* Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por 

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Relationship Self-Sabotage: Why We Push Away the Love We Actually Want w/ Dr. Raquel Peel

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/7/29/1/16d6f9cc-ef1b-47c6-a006-c28004af4330_the_relationship_skills_nobody_ever_taught_you.mp3

Most people enter relationships without ever being taught the skills needed to sustain one. Communication, conflict, intimacy, and emotional responsibility are often learned through trial and error instead of intention. Dr. Alexandra Solomon—licensed therapist, professor at Northwestern University, and author of Loving Bravely and Taking Sexy Back—joins Julie &amp; Yue to explore the lessons behind her popular course Marriage 101. Rather than focusing on finding “the one,” her work centers on becoming “the one” through self-awareness, emotional growth, and relational skill-building.In this episode, you’ll learn:<ul><li>Why self-awareness is essential for healthy relationships</li><li>How family history shapes the way we love</li><li>Why conflict is something to work through, not avoid</li><li>The role emotional and sexual intimacy play in long-term love</li><li>What differentiation means and why it matters in relationships</li></ul> To learn more about Dr. Alexandra Solomon, follow her @dralexandrasolomon and visit dralexandrasolomon.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a> Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

Most people enter relationships without ever being taught the skills needed to sustain one. Communication, conflict, intimacy, and emotional responsibility are often learned through trial and error instead of intention. Dr. Alexandra Solomon—licensed therapist, professor at Northwestern University, and author of Loving Bravely and Taking Sexy Back—joins Julie &amp; Yue to explore the lessons behind her popular course Marriage 101. Rather than focusing on finding “the one,” her work centers on becoming “the one” through self-awareness, emotional growth, and relational skill-building.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Why self-awareness is essential for healthy relationships
- How family history shapes the way we love
- Why conflict is something to work through, not avoid
- The role emotional and sexual intimacy play in long-term love
- What differentiation means and why it matters in relationships

To learn more about Dr. Alexandra Solomon, follow her @dralexandrasolomon and visit dralexandrasolomon.com

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show!
* Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por 

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Marriage 101: The Relationship Skills Nobody Ever Taught You w/ Dr. Alexandra Solomon

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/7/28/23/1ca649c8-bac0-4324-bab0-2e3ec967fd87_ld_relationships_that_grow_instead_of_collapse.mp3

What if healthy relationships require more than simply falling in love? Many traditional relationship models teach couples to merge into one shared identity, but that approach can sometimes weaken connection instead of strengthening it. Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, social psychologist and author of Love by Design, joins Julie &amp; Yue to introduce the Emergent Love Model—a more intentional framework for lasting partnership. She explains why thriving relationships allow both people to continue evolving individually while building a meaningful life together.In this episode, you’ll learn:<ul><li>The difference between emergent and submergent relationships</li><li>Why “becoming one” can sometimes weaken connection</li><li>The six ingredients that support lasting love</li><li>How intentional partnership differs from passive expectation</li><li>Ways to approach relationships with more clarity and design</li></ul> To learn more about Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, follow her @dr.saranasserzadeh and visit https://www.sara-nasserzadeh.com/ Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a> Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

What if healthy relationships require more than simply falling in love? Many traditional relationship models teach couples to merge into one shared identity, but that approach can sometimes weaken connection instead of strengthening it. Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, social psychologist and author of Love by Design, joins Julie &amp; Yue to introduce the Emergent Love Model—a more intentional framework for lasting partnership. She explains why thriving relationships allow both people to continue evolving individually while building a meaningful life together.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
- The difference between emergent and submergent relationships
- Why “becoming one” can sometimes weaken connection
- The six ingredients that support lasting love
- How intentional partnership differs from passive expectation
- Ways to approach relationships with more clarity and design

To learn more about Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, follow her @dr.saranasserzadeh and visit https://www.sara-nasserzadeh.com/

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show!
* Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por 

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Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

The New Science of Emergent Love: How to Build Relationships That Grow Instead of Collapse w/ Dr. Sara Nasserzadi

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/7/28/23/667d554d-6f81-4be1-9192-d2c84b25c9e4_very_couple_needs_to_transform_their_love_life.mp3

Sex is one of the most important parts of a relationship—and one of the hardest topics for couples to talk about openly. Vanessa Marin, licensed psychotherapist and author of Sex Talks, joins Julie &amp; Yue alongside her husband and collaborator Xander Marin to unpack why conversations around intimacy often feel so uncomfortable, and how avoidance can quietly create distance in relationships. Together, they explore how communication, emotional safety, and vulnerability shape intimacy far beyond the physical side of sex.In this episode, you’ll learn:<ul><li>Why so many couples struggle to talk about sex openly</li><li>How avoidance impacts intimacy and emotional connection</li><li>Ways to communicate needs without shame or pressure</li><li>Why emotional safety is essential for a healthy sex life</li><li>How better conversations can strengthen intimacy overall</li></ul> To learn more about Vanessa and Xander Marin, follow them @vanessaandxander and visit vmtherapy.com. Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a> Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

Sex is one of the most important parts of a relationship—and one of the hardest topics for couples to talk about openly. Vanessa Marin, licensed psychotherapist and author of Sex Talks, joins Julie &amp; Yue alongside her husband and collaborator Xander Marin to unpack why conversations around intimacy often feel so uncomfortable, and how avoidance can quietly create distance in relationships. Together, they explore how communication, emotional safety, and vulnerability shape intimacy far beyond the physical side of sex.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Why so many couples struggle to talk about sex openly
- How avoidance impacts intimacy and emotional connection
- Ways to communicate needs without shame or pressure
- Why emotional safety is essential for a healthy sex life
- How better conversations can strengthen intimacy overall

To learn more about Vanessa and Xander Marin, follow them @vanessaandxander and visit vmtherapy.com.

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show!
* Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por 

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Sex Talks: The Five Conversations Every Couple Needs To Transform Their Love Life w/ Vanessa and Xander Marin

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/7/28/23/7b54de2d-897a-4073-b4cd-2c4e388c2490_ow_to_break_toxic_relationship_cycles_for_good.mp3

After enough painful relationships, many people start asking the same question: why do I keep ending up here? Pharaoh Kyle, spiritual coach and entrepreneur, joins Julie &amp; Yue to explore how toxic relationship patterns form, why people ignore red flags, and what it takes to break unhealthy cycles. He shares how emotional wounds and lost self-trust can keep people stuck in dynamics that no longer serve them—and how healing those patterns can lead to healthier, more aligned relationships moving forward.In this episode, you’ll learn:<ul><li>The common signs of toxic relationship patterns</li><li>Why people ignore red flags and stay stuck</li><li>How to rebuild trust in yourself after unhealthy relationships</li><li>What keeps old relational cycles repeating</li><li>Tools for healing and choosing healthier connections moving forward</li></ul> To learn more about Pharaoh Kyle, follow him @pharaohkyle and visit pharaohkyle.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a> Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

After enough painful relationships, many people start asking the same question: why do I keep ending up here? Pharaoh Kyle, spiritual coach and entrepreneur, joins Julie &amp; Yue to explore how toxic relationship patterns form, why people ignore red flags, and what it takes to break unhealthy cycles. He shares how emotional wounds and lost self-trust can keep people stuck in dynamics that no longer serve them—and how healing those patterns can lead to healthier, more aligned relationships moving forward.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
- The common signs of toxic relationship patterns
- Why people ignore red flags and stay stuck
- How to rebuild trust in yourself after unhealthy relationships
- What keeps old relational cycles repeating
- Tools for healing and choosing healthier connections moving forward

To learn more about Pharaoh Kyle, follow him @pharaohkyle and visit pharaohkyle.com

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show!
* Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por 

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How to Break Toxic Relationship Cycles for Good w/ Pharaoh Kyle

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/6/30/23/77c27812-0b7b-41da-8a86-daa8685651c2__-_how_self-awareness_changes_the_way_you_love.mp3

Most people believe they’re self-aware—but research shows we’re often far less aware of our patterns, behaviors, and impact on others than we think. Dr. Tasha Eurich, organizational psychologist, researcher, and bestselling author of Insight, joins Julie &amp; Yue to explore how self-awareness shapes relationships, communication, and long-term compatibility. She explains why the gap between how we see ourselves and how others experience us can quietly influence attraction, conflict, and connection—and how increasing awareness can change the way we show up in relationships.In this episode, you’ll learn:<ul><li>The difference between internal and external self-awareness</li><li>Why most people overestimate how self-aware they are</li><li>How self-awareness impacts attraction and communication</li><li>Why asking “what” instead of “why” creates more change</li><li>Ways to become more conscious of your relationship patterns</li></ul> To learn more about Dr. Tasha Eurich, follow her @tashaeurich and visit tashaeurich.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a> Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

Most people believe they’re self-aware—but research shows we’re often far less aware of our patterns, behaviors, and impact on others than we think. Dr. Tasha Eurich, organizational psychologist, researcher, and bestselling author of Insight, joins Julie &amp; Yue to explore how self-awareness shapes relationships, communication, and long-term compatibility. She explains why the gap between how we see ourselves and how others experience us can quietly influence attraction, conflict, and connection—and how increasing awareness can change the way we show up in relationships.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
- The difference between internal and external self-awareness
- Why most people overestimate how self-aware they are
- How self-awareness impacts attraction and communication
- Why asking “what” instead of “why” creates more change
- Ways to become more conscious of your relationship patterns

To learn more about Dr. Tasha Eurich, follow her @tashaeurich and visit tashaeurich.com

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show!
* Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por 

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

The Science Behind Knowing Yourself: How Self-Awareness Changes the Way You Love w/ Dr Tasha Eurich

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/6/30/22/65c75af4-d048-4c36-b83d-c026f42342ba_e_relationship_warning_signs_most_couples_miss.mp3

Relationships rarely end because of one major event. More often, they slowly break down through small moments where one partner feels dismissed, unseen, or emotionally unsupported. Matthew Fray, relationship coach and author of This Is How Your Marriage Ends, joins Julie &amp; Yue to unpack the lessons behind his viral article An Open Letter to Shtty Husbands*. He shares how emotional neglect quietly erodes connection, why these patterns often go unnoticed until it’s too late, and what it actually takes to become a more present, emotionally aware partner.In this episode, you’ll learn:<ul><li>How emotional neglect quietly damages relationships</li><li>Why small dismissive moments matter more than people realize</li><li>The hidden warning signs relationships are struggling</li><li>How these patterns can begin long before marriage</li><li>Ways to become a more emotionally present partner</li></ul> To learn more about Matthew Fray, follow him @frayrelationships and visit matthewfray.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a> Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

Relationships rarely end because of one major event. More often, they slowly break down through small moments where one partner feels dismissed, unseen, or emotionally unsupported. Matthew Fray, relationship coach and author of This Is How Your Marriage Ends, joins Julie &amp; Yue to unpack the lessons behind his viral article An Open Letter to Shtty Husbands*. He shares how emotional neglect quietly erodes connection, why these patterns often go unnoticed until it’s too late, and what it actually takes to become a more present, emotionally aware partner.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
- How emotional neglect quietly damages relationships
- Why small dismissive moments matter more than people realize
- The hidden warning signs relationships are struggling
- How these patterns can begin long before marriage
- Ways to become a more emotionally present partner

To learn more about Matthew Fray, follow him @frayrelationships and visit matthewfray.com

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show!
* Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por 

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How To Avoid That Big Breakup or Divorce: The Relationship Warning Signs Most Couples Miss w/ Matthew Fray

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/6/30/23/e4a58fd8-aaec-458c-93e6-e62b7f55103f_he_hidden_signals_of_attraction_and_connection.mp3

Chemistry isn’t always something you either have or don’t – it’s often shaped by behavior, body language, and the subtle signals people send without realizing it. Vanessa Van Edwards, behavioral researcher, bestselling author of Cues and Captivate, and founder of Science of People, joins Julie &amp; Yue to break down how to read attraction signals and build deeper connections. She explains how first impressions, micro-signals, and social cues influence attraction and trust within seconds, and why understanding these behaviors can completely change the way we connect with others.In this episode, you’ll learn:<ul><li>How first impressions shape attraction and connection</li><li>The subtle cues people send without realizing it</li><li>Why some interactions feel natural while others feel forced</li><li>How body language impacts chemistry and trust</li><li>Ways to create stronger connection without trying so hard</li></ul> To learn more about Vanessa Van Edwards, follow her @vvanedwards and visit scienceofpeople.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a> Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

Chemistry isn’t always something you either have or don’t – it’s often shaped by behavior, body language, and the subtle signals people send without realizing it. Vanessa Van Edwards, behavioral researcher, bestselling author of Cues and Captivate, and founder of Science of People, joins Julie &amp; Yue to break down how to read attraction signals and build deeper connections. She explains how first impressions, micro-signals, and social cues influence attraction and trust within seconds, and why understanding these behaviors can completely change the way we connect with others.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
- How first impressions shape attraction and connection
- The subtle cues people send without realizing it
- Why some interactions feel natural while others feel forced
- How body language impacts chemistry and trust
- Ways to create stronger connection without trying so hard

To learn more about Vanessa Van Edwards, follow her @vvanedwards and visit scienceofpeople.com

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show!
* Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por 

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Creating Chemistry: The Hidden Signals of Attraction and Connection w/ Vanessa Van Edwards

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/6/30/21/89153db6-9cd1-40bb-a41e-433c2135b070_e_biggest_lies_we_re_told_about_finding_love.mp3

Most of us grow up believing love should feel effortless if we meet the “right” person. But many of the relationship stories we absorb through romcoms and pop culture don’t actually reflect how healthy relationships work. Relationship scientists Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel join Julie &amp; Yue to unpack what movies get right—and wrong—about attraction, compatibility, and long-term connection. Together, they explore the myths shaping modern relationships and what science says actually creates lasting love.In this episode, you’ll learn:<ul><li>What romcoms get wrong about compatibility and attraction</li><li>Why “the spark” isn’t always a reliable predictor of long-term success</li><li>How modern expectations may be hurting relationships</li><li>What relationship science says actually builds lasting love</li><li>Why healthy relationships are often less effortless than we expect</li></ul> To learn more about Paul Eastwick, follow him @paulweastwick and visit https://pauleastwick.com/. To learn more about Eli Finkel, follow him @elfinkel and visit elifinkel.com. Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a> Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

Most of us grow up believing love should feel effortless if we meet the “right” person. But many of the relationship stories we absorb through romcoms and pop culture don’t actually reflect how healthy relationships work. Relationship scientists Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel join Julie &amp; Yue to unpack what movies get right—and wrong—about attraction, compatibility, and long-term connection. Together, they explore the myths shaping modern relationships and what science says actually creates lasting love.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
- What romcoms get wrong about compatibility and attraction
- Why “the spark” isn’t always a reliable predictor of long-term success
- How modern expectations may be hurting relationships
- What relationship science says actually builds lasting love
- Why healthy relationships are often less effortless than we expect

To learn more about Paul Eastwick, follow him @paulweastwick and visit https://pauleastwick.com/. To learn more about Eli Finkel, follow him @elfinkel and visit elifinkel.com.

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show!
* Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por 

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Love Factually: Debunking the Biggest Lies We’re Told About Finding Love w/ Paul Eastwick & Eli Finkel

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/6/30/20/5c3bf3c5-1405-42c4-8e24-2e0eecffe9ea_why_you_shut_down__lash_out__or_avoid_conflict.mp3

Communication is often called the foundation of healthy relationships—but most people were never actually taught how to communicate effectively when emotions run high. Sandy Weiner, relationship coach, author, and host of The Last First Date Radio podcast, joins Julie &amp; Yue to explore the four communication archetypes and what they reveal about the way we handle conflict, emotional triggers, and connection. She explains why communication patterns are often tied to nervous system responses, attachment styles, and past relationship experiences—and how healthier communication can be learned through awareness and practice.In this episode, you’ll learn:<ul><li>The four communication archetypes and how to identify yours</li><li>Why conflict can feel so emotionally triggering</li><li>How attachment patterns shape communication under stress</li><li>Ways to express needs without aggression or withdrawal</li><li>How to become a more effective and emotionally aware communicator</li></ul> To learn more about Sandy Weiner, follow her @lastfirstdate1 and visit lastfirstdate.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a> Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

Communication is often called the foundation of healthy relationships—but most people were never actually taught how to communicate effectively when emotions run high. Sandy Weiner, relationship coach, author, and host of The Last First Date Radio podcast, joins Julie &amp; Yue to explore the four communication archetypes and what they reveal about the way we handle conflict, emotional triggers, and connection. She explains why communication patterns are often tied to nervous system responses, attachment styles, and past relationship experiences—and how healthier communication can be learned through awareness and practice.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
- The four communication archetypes and how to identify yours
- Why conflict can feel so emotionally triggering
- How attachment patterns shape communication under stress
- Ways to express needs without aggression or withdrawal
- How to become a more effective and emotionally aware communicator

To learn more about Sandy Weiner, follow her @lastfirstdate1 and visit lastfirstdate.com

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show!
* Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por 

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

The 4 Communication Types in Relationships: Why You Shut Down, Lash Out, or Avoid Conflict w/ Sandy Weiner

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/5/20/4/c392b9d4-5a32-4fe5-9650-53024306e474_unning_your_dating_experiences___relationships.mp3

The biggest factor shaping your relationships may not be the other person—it may be the version of you that shows up in connection. Lair Torrent, LMFT and author of The Practice of Love, joins Julie &amp; Yue to explore the different “parts” of ourselves that emerge in dating and relationships, from grounded and open to anxious or guarded. He explains how past experiences and emotional patterns influence the way we connect, and how mindfulness can help us recognize these shifts before they quietly shape our relationships.In this episode, you’ll learn:<ul><li>Why different versions of yourself show up in relationships</li><li>How trauma and past experiences shape connection</li><li>The role mindfulness plays in dating and communication</li><li>How protective behaviors can create disconnection</li><li>Ways to bring more awareness and authenticity into relationships</li></ul> To learn more about Lair Torrent, follow him @lairtorrentholistictherapist and visit https://www.lairtorrent.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a> Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

The biggest factor shaping your relationships may not be the other person—it may be the version of you that shows up in connection. Lair Torrent, LMFT and author of The Practice of Love, joins Julie &amp; Yue to explore the different “parts” of ourselves that emerge in dating and relationships, from grounded and open to anxious or guarded. He explains how past experiences and emotional patterns influence the way we connect, and how mindfulness can help us recognize these shifts before they quietly shape our relationships.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Why different versions of yourself show up in relationships
- How trauma and past experiences shape connection
- The role mindfulness plays in dating and communication
- How protective behaviors can create disconnection
- Ways to bring more awareness and authenticity into relationships

To learn more about Lair Torrent, follow him @lairtorrentholistictherapist and visit https://www.lairtorrent.com

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show!
* Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por 

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

The Hidden Parts of Yourself Running Your Dating Experiences & Relationships w/ Lair Torrent

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/5/20/0/9433f33e-57ed-4cb2-b60b-31ded6f0f273_sychology_behind_infidelity_-_why_people_cheat.mp3

Infidelity is one of the most painful experiences in relationships—but the psychology behind why people cheat is often far more complex than betrayal alone. Dr. Nicolle Zapien, licensed psychotherapist and sex therapist, joins Julie &amp; Yue to unpack the emotional, relational, and psychological factors that can lead to infidelity. Together, they explore what cheating reveals about attachment, unmet needs, emotional disconnection, and personal responsibility, along with the difficult question many couples face afterward: can trust truly be rebuilt?In this episode, you’ll learn:<ul><li>The most common psychological drivers behind infidelity</li><li>Why some people may be more prone to cheating patterns</li><li>How unmet needs and emotional disconnection play a role</li><li>What rebuilding trust after betrayal actually requires</li><li>How to determine whether reconciliation is possible</li></ul> To learn more about Dr. Nicolle Zapien visit https://www.drzapien.com/ Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show! * Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a> Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

Infidelity is one of the most painful experiences in relationships—but the psychology behind why people cheat is often far more complex than betrayal alone. Dr. Nicolle Zapien, licensed psychotherapist and sex therapist, joins Julie &amp; Yue to unpack the emotional, relational, and psychological factors that can lead to infidelity. Together, they explore what cheating reveals about attachment, unmet needs, emotional disconnection, and personal responsibility, along with the difficult question many couples face afterward: can trust truly be rebuilt?

In this episode, you’ll learn:
- The most common psychological drivers behind infidelity
- Why some people may be more prone to cheating patterns
- How unmet needs and emotional disconnection play a role
- What rebuilding trust after betrayal actually requires
- How to determine whether reconciliation is possible

To learn more about Dr. Nicolle Zapien visit https://www.drzapien.com/

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com and tell them you heard about them through The Psychology of Relationships or POR to support the show!
* Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por 

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

The Psychology Behind Infidelity: Why People Cheat w/ Dr. Nicolle Zapien

Every couple has a story: the sparks, the late-night talks, the fights about nothing, and the moments that change everything. So why do some relationships thrive while others fall apart? The answer isn’t luck; it’s psychology. Join Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu, hosts of the hit podcast Dateable and authors of the book 'How to Be Dateable,' as they navigate this next phase of long-term committed relationships. Together with leading experts in the field, they'll explore what science really tells us about love, conflict, and connection — and translate it into tools you can actually use.