How the Written Word Helps Us Connect (Especially In Our Hardest Moments) | with Allison Sweet Grant

We seldom write for ourselves because we instead want our stories to touch others. Yet we’re often terrified to put our work (and ourselves!) out into the world. How can we walk the line between wanting to make things that matter while also making sure other people know we made these things for them?

I discuss this (and so much more), with Allison Sweet Grant, a former psychiatric nurse practitioner turned author whose is the author of the novel I Am the Cage and the new memoir Lump: A Memoir in Ineloquent Reflections, which candidly explores her experience with breast cancer. In this conversation, we talked about the power of the written word to help create emotional connection, why she chose to write about what cancer actually feels like (rather than her “journey”), and how carefully chosen words can help someone feel less alone.

If you're going through something hard, or trying to support someone who is, this conversation offers a different way to connect through uncertainty, pain, and shared experience.

Key Takeaways

• Put your hardest experiences into words instead of keeping them inside. Writing can help you process what happened, get it out of you, and onto something else.
• Write about what something feels like, not just what someone needs to do. Practical information can tell you what comes next, but emotional truth can help someone feel less alone.
• Stop apologizing for pain you didn't choose. Fear of being a burden can cause you to swallow your struggles and limit the possibility for connection.

Episode Highlights

• What a memoir looks like when it mirrors the most difficult period of your life
• How the same chemo room can feel like hell to one patient and like a heaven that is saving someone's life
• Why a book for people too sick to finish a chapter comes in bite-sized pieces
• Why the language of the "cancer journey" never fit, and how they can place an identity on someone
• On Riches: a scene about pancakes that becomes a lesson in noticing the small details you want to remember
• Five Letters: the poem about packing a chemo bag and leaving letters on the table
• Why putting real human words and real human experiences on the page matters more
• I'm sorry, I'm okay: why we apologize for being an inconvenience and a burden
• How the involuntary combination of colors with letters and numbers has influenced her choices
• Just My Luck: a rant against everything people say caused cancer

Recommended Next Episode

• From Setback to Comeback: Finding Strength in the Hardest Moments | with Bevin Farrand
• How to Keep Moving Forwards After You've Lost Everything | with Christina Rasmussen

Useful Resources

• On Vulnerability and the Courageous Act of Creating From a Place of Truth | with Allison Sweet Grant
• Glennon Doyle
• Zingerman's

Guest Bio

Allison Sweet Grant is an author who has been published in The New York Times and The Atlantic. Previously, she was a psychiatric nurse practitioner; she holds dual master's degrees from the University of Michigan. An introvert, synesthete, and avid poet, Allison can usually be found at home with a cup of hot tea in hand, reading or rewatching a film she has seen sixteen times. She lives outside of Philadelphia with her husband and their three children (and two cats, Pom-Pom and Jasper).

Allison's Website

Allison's Books: I Am the Cage | Lump: A Memoir in Ineloquent Reflections

Allison's Instagram | Facebook

Show Credits

Edited by: Curtis Fritsch

Published by: Vim Pangantihon

Music by: Thomas Cepeda